Chapter 57: Thanks for sticking with me for so long! Just a couple of chapters left. And a lot of you have guessed correctly a lot of things that are going to happen. Happy reading and remember to tell me what you think.
"Mom!" I yelled, barging out of my bedroom and into the kitchen where I could hear her banging some pots around.
"What?" She asked, eyeing the invitation in my hand. "You found it then." She wrinkled her nose and nodded at the piece of paper.
"You knew?"
"Don`t use the tone of voice with me! I found out on Friday. Billy got one. So did the rest of the pack. Jacob would have found out by now."
"And so what? Jacob won`t care. Bella can do what she wants now."
"You know what this means right?" Did I really understand the meaning behind her words? We stared at each other.
"It means that hopefully she will be changed."
"Sonia! That is not the type of life to wish on anyone!"
"She wants it mom! And she won`t rest until she gets it! Don`t you get it? The sooner she`s changed the better! She will have to leave with her leeches."
"This is just bullshit. How could she even marry him?"
"We both know why mom. And I know it was her who set Utlapa free."
"She would never admit it."
"I know. We...we just have to figure out a way to imprison him again."
"I don`t know how Sonia. George...he was the only one who knew everything. And now he`s gone."
"Who`s George?"
"Mr. McBride." Oh...Oh!
"How long did you know about him?" I asked her.
"Since he found you...that time."
"Why didn`t you tell me about him before mom?"
"Because he made us promise not to. He...he thought that he could handle it himself. But he`s old...and Utlapa has been gaining in strength."
"How old is Mr. McBride?"
"Wuffff...I dunno...he was around during the time of Chief Seattle so...about a hundred and seventy...more or less. If he show`s up again you can ask him."
"Wow..."
"Sonia. What was your camping trip really about? You can tell me. I won`t get mad I promise."
"You promise?"
"Promise."
"Me...me and Jacob got...married." I could only watch as my mom`s face paled then turned puce. So much for not getting mad.
"You...you got married?" She whispered. I nodded.
"On James Island."
"What? How?"
"We went up there and...exchanged vows." I felt my stomach clench.
"So...it wasn`t in a church. It was just a little...private...ceremony."
"I know how it seems mom...but for me it was real...and for Jacob too."
"I`m sure it was. If this is what you want Sonia...then..." She didn`t finish, she just shook her head. "Just promise me you won`t get pregnant yet."
"I won`t. Promise."
"Because...now are dangerous times...I don`t want you to get hurt."
"I do want kids mom...just not now you know."
"Be careful. Is Jacob using those condoms I got you?" Oh Godddddddddd!
"Yes mom." Really no. They were lying abandoned somewhere in my room right now. Unopened and gathering dust.
"Good...good. `Cause you know Kim got pregnant while she was on the pill right?"
"Mom! Gosh! What more do you want me to do?" She was seriously starting to flake out on me right now and I sure as hell didn`t need it. "Why are you freaking out over this?"
"Because it`s just a matter of time Sonia! You can`t bring a baby into this world with what`s happening."
"What`s happening? What mom? Please just tell me! Please mom." I begged.
"Oh Sonia. All this shit. My poor baby is caught up in all this and there is nothing I can do."
"Mom!"
"Utlapa is free! Free Sonia! And you...and Jacob..."
"Me and Jacob what?"
"It`s like fate will be repeating itself."
"What`s that supposed to mean?"
"I don`t know. It`s something that George said. It seemed pretty serious."
"Are you sure that`s all you know?" I pressed. If she did know then now is the time to tell me.
"I promise. He`s...he`s unsure of Jacob though. He doesn`t think he`s worthy."
"Worthy of what?"
"Of you. Of his gift. He said only time will tell."
"Do you know where Mr. McBride is?"
"I have no idea. I swear."
"Fine...Fine! I will just have to wait until he shows up again." You can`t cheat fate Sonia. I shuddered.
"I only want you to be careful. Jacob...he loves you. He always will. The dreams...what Utlapa is telling you...it`s something that could be but might not. Don`t let him in anymore. Don`t feed him your fears."
"But there`s the question of his imprint mom. She will be born. And soon I think."
"Of a human mother and vampire father. Let`s hope that`s never going to happen."
"That`s why Bella needs to be changed straight away. To eliminate her from the list of candidates." She was the only candidate but... "She is more dangerous human mom."
"But as a vampire...there`s no telling what she`ll do. And she already hates you. She`ll remember that punch to the mouth you gave her."
"Jacob would rip her to shreds if she dared come near me." And then that would get rid of her once and for all. That was such a nasty thought!
"He would. Him and the rest. To harm an imprint...They`d kill all the Cullens."
"The Cullens are stupid for sticking around so long."
"Sonia...there`s something else I need to tell you." Mom said nervously.
"Tell me." Oh man...now I was nervous.
"Your...your father called again."
"Wh-what?"
"Yes. He...he wants to know if you are okay." A look of complete sadness washed over my mom`s face.
"You talked to him?" She nodded.
"How...how was it?" I knew she was still in love with him. And Michael...well...she does love him but dad...she never got over him.
"Strange. Hearing his voice after so many years. He sounds exactly the same." She smiled briefly before frowning.
"Mom? Do you...are you thinking about getting back with him?" She looked shocked.
"Jesus Christ in heaven Sonia!" She laughed. "There`s too much water under the bridge."
"Okay. Sorry I asked."
"Don`t worry."
"Did he...leave a number?" Mom nodded towards the message pad beside the phone.
"You don`t have to call him if you don`t want to."
"I don`t know what I could say to him." And it was true. I didn`t know the man.
"Anything you wanted. He didn`t contact you all these years so..."
"Does he know?"
"About what?"
"About the stuff that`s going on. Does he know?" Mom took too long to answer. "He knows."
"He can`t come back here Sonia!"
"What are you talking about? Tell me mom!"
"He...he was supposed to change...him and Joshua Uley...they have the gene but...it never happened." She whispered, sitting down. I just stared at her.
"What?"
"Back then...something happened...there was vamp activity but not enough I don`t think. Joshua was the first. He started...he started becoming moody...erratic. Like what happens to the boys just before the change...but he never did. He just got angry...Mom`s brother Gerald, Sam`s granddad, told him that the best thing for him would be to leave, because being here in La Push, with all this energy, would cause him to become more unstable. They were afraid he would go crazy."
"But...then why doesn`t Sam know anything about this? Why keep it secret?"
"Because Allison didn`t want to leave. That and he was afraid to be around them. He was terrified he would hurt them. Then one day...he just upped and left. No goodbyes. Not a word from him since."
"Seriously?"
"Yes...I don`t know why they wanted to keep this a secret. I don`t know why they just don`t tell Sam."
"Like you told me about dad?"
"Robert was different. He wanted to take us with him. That`s why he was dealing. He was trying to get enough money to take us away from here. But...I think he wanted to get caught...he told me that we were better off without him. That the world would be better off if he was behind bars. I remember him beating up a guy for just whistling at me! He couldn`t control it. He made me swear I wouldn`t tell you. And mom and dad...they never liked him...they were happy he was gone. I thought it would be easier for you this way. Who would have thought that the next generation would phase? Who would have thought you would be imprinted on?"
"You could have told me when Jacob first imprinted on me you know. Instead of leaving it for months later."
"I thought it was too much for you to handle."
"Right...sure..." I crossed my arms and faced away from her. Why does new shit always have to crop up when things are going so good?
"I swear I did honey. Forgive me? Please?"
"Mom...there`s nothing to forgive. I just wish I had known sooner."
Jacob called me to tell me he had to patrol that night. His voice was tight so I guessed he found out about Bella`s upcoming vampire wedding. He was upset I know. She was his friend. He used to love her. He wanted the best for her. But he didn`t love her now...he loves me. I didn`t mention it to him. I just told him I loved him and that I would see him tomorrow at school hopefully.
After I had gone to bed I lay twisting and turning. So many things were happening at once and it was beginning to get overwhelming again. I just got married. Bella`s getting married. Dad called again. And Utlapa`s malevolent spirit is floating around somewhere trying to cause havoc.
I could only feel terrified. Again with that fucking feeling telling me to be on guard! When you are in love you are supposed to feel happy right? You are supposed to be content. Truth was that the love me and Jacob shared would be perfect if none of this supernatural shit was going on. And what if had never of imprinted on me? What would have happened? Would we have ever fell in love? That was a difficult question. I would have noticed him eventually. And I would have gotten him too. Jacob before he changed was different. He was nicer, less mopey. But maybe it was Jacob now that I was meant to fall in love with. The dark Jacob so to speak. The hot and sexy one. The brave and courageous one. The Jacob that was meant to love me. And only me.
Life isn`t perfect. It is never going to be. I thought back to something my mom told me before. Sometimes love isn`t enough. That thought saddened me. Sometimes all you need is love. It was the greatest feeling in the world! And also the deadliest one.
And what Kim said about that story of the brave who went off with the demon spawn woman. How true was that? She said she heard it from Old Quil. I should ask him some day. Utlapa couldn`t really take over the body of someone. The body needed to be empty. The spirit gone in order for another to inhabit it. And Jacob was strong. He could resist Utlapa if he tried anything like that. It was impossible.
And Mr. McBride? What about what he said? Then it clicked.
He was the brave who ran off with the cold woman! He was the one who left his wife and children! Mom said he was around the time of Chief Seattle...but wait...he said that he was one of Taha Aki`s sons. And Taha Aki lived about three hundred years before Chief Seattle right? Argg this is so confusing! Unless...Mr. McBride stuck around long enough. Who`s to say that he couldn`t be about five hundred years old? He was charged with the mission of making sure Utlapa didn`t escape. If he was continuously phasing then he wouldn`t age. He could have married and had children a couple of hundred years later. If the woman he married was his imprint...how could he have left her though? That`s the part I don`t get.
I got out of bed in a huff. I was going to drive myself crazy over thinking these things. I had no proof that Mr. McBride was this mythical brave. Would I ever get any answers? Would he ever come back even? He said he would...when the time comes. Whatever that meant.
I wish Jacob was here with me. He would make me feel better. He would know what words to say and what way to hold me to make all these horrible thoughts go away. Well...not go away exactly, he would help bury them until they resurfaced again. It so wasn`t healthy to be so dependent on him for this. Be strong Sonia. Not only for yourself. For everyone.
I sat at my desk and switched on my Mac. Maybe a couple of hours of surfing the net would send me to sleep?
I googled George McBride. 26.000.000 results. Robert Gleeson. 5.310.000 results. Not that the internet could tell me anything important about them. Joshua Uley? No. He was none of my business. I would tell Sam what I know tomorrow. He was still mad at me for all that shit I said to him about Leah but if he didn`t want to take my apology then that`s his choice. What he chose to do with that information was entirely up to him. But I don`t think it`s fair that his mom never told him about what really happened to his dad. Like it wasn`t fair that mom never told me.
It must have been dreadful for him. For the both of them. The wolves tempers were bad at best and crazy at the worst. To have to emotions and no outlet for them...things could have gotten so ugly. Perhaps it was best that they left when they did. Mom was certain that dad thought he was doing the right thing by staying away from us. Away from here. And he wasn`t that much older than me when he made that decision. He was so young when he got sent away. I have never regretted anything more in my life than I regret never really knowing him. He was my blood. A life wasted. A bond that I could never hope to have. And another reason to hate those stupid fucking vamps!
They were nothing better than monsters. Despite their facade of fancy clothes, degrees and cars they were destroyers of humanity. They feed on people. They have no concern of sympathy for the lives of the people they murder, or how those peoples family`s lives are affected. Just as long as their bloodlust is satisfied. And the Cullens were no better. Regardless of the fact that they drink only animals blood, they know that people die and they do nothing. They were the fakest of all. What about all those newborn vamps that came after Bella that time? They were human once. Their lives were taken from them for the sole purpose of killing one human. Their blood was on Bella`s hands and the Cullens. And Bella knew how powerful the lust for blood was and she still wants that life! She would, without a doubt, kill and feed. But that doesn`t matter to her. Her potential victims life doesn`t concern her, just as long as she gets what she wants. It was all too sad. I would sooner die than become one of them.
A bit bored and very restless I watched almost an entire series of The Big Bang Theory. Once I was starting to get a headache did I climb back into bed. It was six am. I would have to up for school in an hour and a half.
Once I was beginning to nod off I heard my bedroom window creaking open. Snapping back into alertness I sat up. Jacob. He hopped in fully clothed with his school bag.
"Jacob." I croaked out, sounding horrible. I couldn`t see his face in the darkness of my bedroom.
"Hey." His tone was so hard to read. With the limited light I could see him getting undressed.
"How are you?" I moved over in my bed to give him room. He didn`t answer me. Climbing in he immediately went to remove my pjs. I let him without any protest. So he didn`t want to talk then. Letting out a very loud whimper as he bit on my neck I grabbed his hair.
"Too hard..." I gasped out. He immediately stopped and peppered my neck with warm wet kisses as a way of apology. All grogginess gone I was wet and willing. I had missed him horribly all night.
We made love until it started to get bright. And Jacob didn`t seem too preoccupied that my mom would hear us with all the banging and moaning. It was possessive Jacob making all the moves.
He came eventually, with me on my back with my hands pinned above my head. He didn`t kiss me on the mouth until he had finished and we were both slick with sweat.
I moved from underneath him and sat up. I was aching everywhere. Feeling a bit empty I brought my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. I could feel the morning chill goose pimple my skin from the open window. The only warmth I could feel was from Jacob`s leg that was touching the side of my ass.
"Sonia?" He asked. Trailing a finger down my back.
"Mmm?"
"I`m sorry."
"For what?"
"For that. I just wanted you so much."
"Did you?"
"Yes. It was a hard night." He got up and wrapped himself around me.
"You know about Bella then."
"Hmmf. I saw it coming. But getting that invite was the worst. Does she really think that I would go?" I rolled my eyes.
"I got one too. Just forget about it."
"Are you angry at me?"
"Yes." I felt Jacob straighten up suddenly.
"Did I do someth..."
"Yes you did do something wrong. You fucked me because you are angry at Bella!" I spat, looking him straight in the eye. Wow...I scared myself a little with that one. Jacob looked terrified.
"No! I didn`t! I wanted to be with you!"
" That was angry sex Jacob!"
"I hurt you?" He sounded scared.
"A little." I wasn`t going to lie to him. He swore under his breath. My alarm went and Jacob turned it off.
"I`m sorry. I won`t do it again."
"Did I tell you to stop?"
"No."
"So why are you apologizing?"
"Because I hurt you."
"You hurt me by using me to vent out your frustrations and not telling me before."
"You`re right...I shouldn`t have done that. But I did need you."
"I should have a shower. I`ll make you breakfast when I`m finished." I got out of bed and put on my bathrobe.
"Wait Sonia!" Jacob hopped out of bed and hugged me. "I`m sorry. I am. Please Sonia."
"Stop it Jacob! Physically you hurt me a little. But I liked it! I just don`t like the way you went about it!" I stepped away from him and headed towards the door. "You better get dressed before my mom wakes up. If she`s not already up that is." I shut the bedroom door behind me and showered. The hot water eased a lot of my aches and pains away. Toweling myself dry I saw that there were no marks on me besides an ugly hickey on my neck. Jacob must be tearing himself up now thinking that he hurt me physically. Why was I such a bitch to him? Hearing my mom`s alarm clock going off I exited the bathroom. Please God. Let her have been asleep and not heard me having sex. If you grant me this I promise I`ll go to church next Sunday.
I made my way to the kitchen where I could smell frying bacon. I found Jacob at the stove scrambling some eggs. At least he got dressed. I smiled as I saw how he had laid the table out perfectly for breakfast. He handed me a mug of black coffee and kissed my cheek.
"I hope you don`t mind but...I started breakfast for us. Bacon and eggs?" He asked hopefully. The toaster popped. "And toast?"
"Sounds great." I smiled. We shouldn`t be fighting now. I cuddled him for a couple of seconds.
"Great." He breathed a sigh of relief and turned his attention back to frying the bacon. I sat down at the table and every so often Jacob would smile at me from over his shoulder.
I decided I shouldn`t be so hard on him. I shouldn`t let my paranoia rule me. He didn`t hurt me. The angry sex turned me on beyond belief. Now he would be terrified to fuck me again like that. I was just a bit pissed off afterwards. Not every time we have sex can be perfect. The way he went about it...he was claiming me again. Marking me as his own. He was pissed about Bella that was for sure but making love to me wasn`t to vent his frustrations out. It was more to make sure that I was his. Like the first time we had sex.
"How much bacon do you want?" He asked.
"A couple of slices please."
I had dressed for school in thick turtle neck jumper to hide my hickey. I would be roasting in this no doubt but I wasn`t about to parade around with this love bite on my neck as if it were some sort of badge of honor. When I tried to talk to Bernie and Ollie they gave me the cold shoulder. Okayyy... if they wanted to be like that then fine! Chris had a new girlfriend and Lorraine was nowhere to be seen. By lunchtime I was in a huff. I made my way over to the pack`s table. Jacob seemed a bit surprised to see me but he smiled happily and moved over to make room for me.
"Sonia Mara is sitting at this table? I don`t believe it!" Quil joked.
"And?" I snapped, wiping the smile off his face. I caste a dark look towards Ollie and Bernie, who were sitting by themselves, deep in conversation.
"Don`t mind them babe." Jacob said gently, putting an arm around my shoulders. By this time Bernie had looked my way and seeing where I was gave me the stink eye. Feeling anger and embarrassment boil up in me I stood up abruptly but was dragged back down almost immediately by Jacob.
"Wow..wow Sonia. Easy there. They are not worth it."
"Fucking bitch! Who does she think she is? Looking at me that way?" I really, really wanted to punch something!
"She`s not worth it." Embry said. "I heard her bitching about you to lots of people." I stared at Embry in shock. I couldn`t believe it. Bernie was bitching about me? After we had been friends for all our lives? I was crushed. I felt like crying.
"I`ll give her a piece of my mind!" Jacob swore. This time it was my turn to drag him back down to sit.
"Don`t! Let her. After all I`ve done for her. I just...Embry. What was she saying about me?"
"Bullshit. It`s not worth repeating Sonia. She`s jealous because it was you who Ollie really wanted."
"What?" I whispered, feeling ill.
"Yeah...we knew for ages. Locker room talk. He was bragging about how he had you first when you and Jacob first got together." Quil said. I glanced at Jacob who was staring at Ollie with his death glare. Ollie said that? He lied like that? I felt sickened. He was supposed to be, like Bernie, one of my best friends.
"Well...thanks for telling me I suppose." I pierced my carton my chocolate milk maybe a bit too hard. "Just don`t tell me anymore." All the fight had left me. The old me would have been rolling on the floor pulling some hair right now. That sounds so tempting. I looked over at Bernie and Ollie again. They were making out. Why did they have to turn into assholes?
"You are one of us Sonia." Jacob said seriously. "We will always be here for you."
"Thanks guys. I really mean it." But I still want to be friends Bernie and Ollie though. I had known for a long time that our friendship was not what it used to be but I didn`t think it would end like this. I hadn`t cut them off. I hung out with them as much as I could. What did I do to make them turn on me all of a sudden? I locked eyes with Ollie. He gave me a knowing look and then a smirk. What was he playing at? What was his game?
Remember to tell me what you think. Besos.