Chapter 58. Sorry so so so sorry this took so long but I have been seriously busy with work and have had serious writers block for the past while. This chapter and the remaining ones are proving very difficult to plan out and write. But I hope to finish this story soon and start on the next one.

As for the length and quality of this chapter...I am sorry. Not my best work but this contains some very important pieces of information.

Thanks for sticking with me and the next chapter, which will be much better, will be up soon. And soon is very soon. Besos and happy reading.

¨I know what you´ve been saying about me.¨

I had cornered Bernie in the girls locker rooms after gym class. And I was going to do this with an audience. She really needed to know that no one spreads bullshit lies about me. She put on a brave face but I knew that underneath she was scared. She was tough but we both knew that I was tougher. I wasn´t going to hurt her, not if I didn´t need to. I was just going to scare her into shutting up about me. She was my friend, or rather she used to be. The thoughts of actually getting into a physical fight with her made me feel ill.

"So you know." She stuck her chin up defiantly, staring me straight in the eye.

"So if you have something to say you can say it to my face. Why don´t you give it a go?" I stepped in closer to her.

The locker room had become totally silent at this stage. All eyes on me and Bernie.

"Okay Sonia." Bernie rolled her eyes and frowned. "But it´s not something you are going to like to hear."

"Go ahead. You might be surprised."

"You´re a joke." She said seriously. "Running around with Sam Uley´s gang. Getting back with Jacob after everything he did to you. Looking borderline anorexic. You have gone insane." Funnily enough her words were not malicious, more concerned than anything. But they still hurt. They still made me angry.

¨Who I date is none of your business."

"It is when it´s hurting you. When it´s changing you. He´s controlling you Sonia. You have turned into one of those chicks who´s too blind to see that they are in a toxic relationship."

"You don´t know what you are talking about."

"I´ve known you forever. So I think I do." She replied cheekily.

"Whatever you think about Jacob you say it to me. Not to everybody else."

"You wouldn´t listen! All the times I´ve tried to talk to you Sonia! And if someone asks me what´s going on with you then I´m going to tell them the truth!"

"Listen Sonia." It was Lorraine who spoke up from behind me. ¨Bernie hasn´t been spreading crap about you." She spoke gently.

"I was told!" I spun around to face her.

"By who?" Bernie asked. She was looking at me knowingly. When I didn´t answer she answered for me. "By your new friends perhaps?"

"I didn´t hear anything bad about you Sonia." Ciara Harris said, shrugging her shoulders. The other girls were looking at each other and then at me, like I had lost my mind or something. Something told me that I had made a big mistake confronting Bernie. She now looked like I had just confirmed something important for her.

"Yeah Sonia. Bernie is just worried about you." Lorraine put her arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah Sonia. I am worried about you. When you are ready to listen to me then call me." She then stalked out of the locker rooms still in her gym clothes and without taking a shower.

I watched her go with mixed feelings. She knew. Her and Ollie knew. They knew and were trying to get me to confirm to them what they already had figured out. The secret was not so secret anymore it seemed. So what do I do? Keep it to myself and not tell the pack? Confront them? Act like I don´t know what´s really going on?

Would it really be that bad if they knew? I mean, they are Quileute after all. They are part of the tribe. But, if I tell them everything then they might risk blowing the whole lid off things. They could go public. It was too risky. Way too risky. Everything could go to shit. Well, even more to shit then it was already going.

And Jacob would be so angry. I made a promise that I wouldn´t reveal his secrets. No matter what happened. Should I tell him about Ollie and Bernie? That they kinda knew about him or just forget about it? It was a tough one. Part of me was actually relieved that my friends knew. Because I wanted to keep them in my life. I didn´t want to lie to them anymore. I wanted them to understand my relationship with Jacob. I wanted them to understand what me and Jacob had went beyond the norm of teen relationships. If they understood that then they would stop giving me such a hard time over him.

I knew this was all childish thinking. I could never tell them. I could never confirm to them even more than what they already knew. They had to be kept out of it. Out of harms way. And I realized with a horrible sadness that I had to let them go. My life had changed with the secret. Theirs didn´t have to. They would live the normal lives that they had planned for. That they chose. I would have to lead the life I was destined to have. A life that was chosen for me. And as much as I loved Jacob, that thought was horribly disappointing. I am such a disgusting person for even thinking that. I was given my one true love, and here I am whining about how I won´t be able to do the things I had dreamt of doing before he had imprinted on me. I really had to get my priorities straight. There was crazy spirit Utlapa to fight and a weird hybrid baby to stop from being born.

In just over one month I´ll be eighteen. I had never felt so lost. Or so alone.

"When do you have to run patrol?¨ I asked Jacob, trying to keep the impatience out of my voice.

We were taking a walk along second beach. It was lovely spending some alone time with him, but what I really wanted to be doing was talking to Kim about Ollie and Bernie. She would know what to do.

"Tonight, so I´m free all evening. All yours." He said with a sexy grin.

"Great."

"Still upset about those two idiots?"

"´Suppose." I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my feet. I was in one hell of a bad situation.

"They´re not worth it. You didn´t do anything to them."

"I know."

"They are nothing but a couple of wasters anyway."

"Like me."

"You´re not a waster Sonia!"

"Sure Jacob."

"But you are not. Listen. I know you can´t have the same sort of fun with me like you could have with them but….I dunno….I think I am pretty fun sometimes."

"Jacob…." I groaned, smiling a little. "Stop being so adorable."

"Not when it makes you smile like that I won´t."

"I do love you Jacob."

"I know you do. And I love you too. So tell me what´s on your mind."

"I don´t know what way to put this." I started out awkwardly. "But I think that Bernie and Ollie kinda have an inkling of who you are, or rather, what the pack is." I cringed as I saw Jacob´s face change from confusion to anger. "I didn´t tell them anything I swear! I swear it!"

"You think they know or they do know Sonia? This is important!"

"I think they know. But today…Bernie sorta baited me into confirming something…." I hesitated when Jacob looked the most terrifying I have ever seen him.

"She baited you? Into saying what?" He growled. Oh crap. My heart was hammering and my mouth was dry. "Tell me!"

"I confronted her over what she and Ollie were saying about me. And it turns out that they weren´t saying it to other people you know, just between themselves. When you and Embry told me all that stuff at lunch today I just assumed that they were spreading shit. But they weren´t. I think they just wanted to see if what only you or the others could hear would get back to me."

"You should have just kept your mouth shut and ignored them like I said! Fuck! If it´s not one thing with you then…." He bit his tongue but looked like he wanted to punch something.

"I´m sorry." I whispered to the sand. Of all the times Jacob had been angry with me…..this was one of the times when he seemed the most disappointed. And that hurt like hell.

"It´s not your fault they are snooping around. I fucking hate them!" He spat with such venom that I got a bit scared.

"They are just worried about me." I defended. Jacob shot me a withering look.

"I´m done talking about them with you. I need to find out how much they actually know. You need to keep your mouth shut from now on and stay away from them." He commanded.

"Don´t talk to me like that Jacob!"

"Sorry." He said sarcastically. "I´ll take you home. I need to trail them and see how much they actually do know." Okay that was creepy.

"Don´t hurt them Jacob!"

"Do you actually think I´ll hurt them? Seriously? Despite the fact that I can morph into a giant wolf doesn´t mean I´m some wacko nut job."