Short update for today. I'm so busy, with youmacon coming up in a week, and school kicking my ass. Mostly math. I have a D+ ;n;
Six days passed since Shizuo's failed meeting with Psyche. The days dragged by slowly, each one blurring into the next as the blonde sunk deeper into a gloomy depression. His friends had called to check up on him, but he brushed them off with a false sense of happiness. He didn't want them to worry. Especially not over something so childish.
Shizuo has had his heart broken in the past. He had tried to ask girls out in high school, and had been rejected and dumped quite a few times. He had given up on that route, and was getting used to a single life. But then Psyche had to show up and steal his heart, and then let it fall until it crashed onto the concrete.
He wasn't sure why he was so smitten. He had never even seen the man's face, let alone talk in person. For all he knew, Izaya was right. It could have been a total stranger, or someone he despised. Hell, it could have even been a friend of his. He shuddered at the thought.
He had tried to log on from time to time, and sent lone messages. But Psyche was never online when he was, and the stranger never replied to his messages. Shizuo was just about to give up on chasing when he received the letter in the mail.
He assumed that it would be another mystery supply of medication. If it was, he would have thought of it as a farewell gift from Psyche. Afterall, that is the reason why the man never met him at Sunshine 60. To break off…whatever they had. If they even had anything to begin with. Shizuo liked to think so.
But when all that arrived in the mail was a sealed and anonymous letter, his curiosity spiked a bit. His sour mood didn't get better, but a small flicker of hope sparked deep in him.
As he turned the letter over, with no stamps or marks on it, the small spark seemed to quiver to life; into a small flame that was slowly starting to grow.
Shizuo fell into his couch, sinking into the worn cushions and he ripped the envelope open with his teeth. He spat out the remains in his mouth and pulled out the coarse parchment that was folded neatly inside.
Written with neat penmanship in pink ink was the name "Tsu-chan."
His heart skipped a beat, and he swiveled his head around as if he were making sure no one was watching. He opened the letter carefully with trembling hands, and read the words that were neatly scrawled across the paper.
"Tsu-chan,
I'm sorry I didn't meet up with you. Things got in the way, and I couldn't make it. And to be quite honest, I don't think we should try to meet up again. Things would be too hard. We wouldn't get along.
I know who you are, Tsugaru. You're real identity. I know more about you than you can even imagine. And I know for a fact that if you knew me, you would hate me. You weren't meant to become infatuated over someone like me. I'm not kind. I'm not loving. I'm not someone you want. I just can't let you see me for who I really am. I don't want you to see that side of me.
So I deleted my account on that site. And I'm not going to pay for your medication anymore. I'm breaking all ties with you. I know it hurts, but it's for the better if we stay apart. So forget me, Tsu-chan. Forget I ever existed.
-Psyche"
He didn't even realize that his vision was getting blurry until his nose got stuffed and his eyes began to overflow. With a frustrated sigh, he tossed the letter on his sofa and bent forward to rest his head in his hands. Running his fingers through his hair, Shizuo stared at the letter with a frown.
It was ridiculous that he would get so attached so soon. That this would actually hurt him. He had spent six years of his life building a wall around himself so no one could get to his heart. That no one could build him up and then bring him crashing down again. He was over relationships and broken hearts. Yet here he was, sitting in his apartment, trying to not shed a tear for a faceless man.
A man deep down, Shizuo knew he wasn't done fighting for yet.