Before Tobias and I reach Tori's room, we can hear her. She's screaming, hissing, and cussing loudly at whomever is obviously trying to help her. Zander bursts through the set of double, thick, wooden doors into the trauma examination room but as they swing shut, one sticks on a protruding tile not allowing it to close all the way. We linger in the hallway, able to see and hear everything that's going on but part of me wishes that I didn't have to see what I'm seeing. Whatever Molly did to Tori made her feral like a wild animal. She's thrashing about on the bed, screaming for everyone to get away from her. Her eyes are wide and wild. She's clawing at her skin and hospital gown trying to get some unseen thing off of her. She definitely isn't the Tori I have known for more than a year now.
"I've got to get out of here," I say as I reach up and take Peanut out of Tobias' arms, not wanting Tori's suffering to touch her any more than it already has. I walk across the hallway, kicking the heavy doors with my foot, which close behind me with a thud. I cross to the far side of the large room and sit down on the bed, double thinking sending everyone home one short hour ago. It would be nice to have someone to talk to right now instead of listening to the muffled sounds coming from Tori's room. I look down at Peanut whose eyes are on me. "How are you feeling, my sweet baby girl? Zander says you have an ear infection. He gave Mommy and Daddy some medicine that should make you feel better really soon. I'll give you some before the next time you eat." She stares up at me, her little brows furrowed so I caress her head and smooth out the lines with my thumb. "Why don't you go back to sleep or are you getting hungry again?" I run my finger down her cheek, and she turns her head towards it and opens her mouth. "Hungry it is." I gently lay her down beside me then pull the diaper bag to me, which I sat on the end of the bed. I dig out a new diaper and the wipes. I look up when I hear the door open.
"Are you alright, love?" Tobias asks as he pulls a chair up beside the bed and sits down.
"Oh, baby, don't worry about me," I say as I finish up with Peanut's diaper. "How is Tori?"
"She's resting at the moment," he says. "Zander had to give her a strong sedative to calm her down. It took a while to take effect but once it did, her blood pressure and heart rate finally came down. It's the first time that's happened since she was found. Zander thinks it's a good sign."
"Peanut's hungry again," I say as I pick her up. "I wanted to give her the antibiotic before I nursed her. Can you go to the pharmacy and get it?"
"Of course," he says. "Will you be okay here alone?" I smile blandly at him.
"Are you going to be okay walking to the pharmacy on your own?"
"Okay, okay," he says with a smirk. "I'll be right back." He gives me a swift, soft, love-filled kiss then heads back out the door.
"Daddy will be right back with your medicine then I'll feed you," I say when she starts fussing. "I promise." I gently bounce her in my arms as I await Tobias' return. He isn't long.
"Here you go," he says as he hands me the filled dropper.
"Thank you," I say. I put the dose of antibiotic in Peanut's mouth and after she swallows it down, I put her to my breast. Once she latches on, she acts like she hasn't eaten every two hours today. "I have to apologize for leaving you standing in the hallway like that," I say. "I couldn't stay, listening to her suffering."
"You have nothing to apologize for," he says. "I wanted to tell you to go but I'm trying to be thoughtful of your feelings. I don't want you to think that you're not included."
"And I love you for that," I say.
"Only that?" he flirts. A knock on the door startles us, and I quickly throw a blanket over Peanut's head as Zander walks into the room.
"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm not interrupting, am I?"
"Of course not," I say. "Do you have an update on Tori for us?"
"Her vitals have stabilized," he says. "I've had a detailed analysis of the enhanced death serum administered to Sam, Harrison, Frankie, and Tori run, and every single molecule is identical. Also, I now know every single component. The one thing I'm at a loss for is why a person would put this particular cocktail together. It doesn't make any sense. I know it may not seem like it but Tori is lucky to be alive," Zander says. He takes a sheet of paper off the clipboard he's carrying and hands it to Tobias. "That's a copy for your records."
"Thanks," he says as he reads the list over. "Can you tell me exactly what each of these elements do?"
"Sure. Obviously, the death serum is designed to kill the subject it's administered to. The long-range simulation serum puts the recipient into a simulation. Tests done during its developmental phase showed effectiveness at distances up to 20 miles according to Erudite records I received from Caleb. The stimulant keeps the body's senses heightened. Finally, the sedative knocks the recipient out." We all look at each other, the only sound in the room is Peanut's suckling until Tobias draws in an unsteady breath.
"I think I might know what this serum is used for," he says. "I recognized the panic Tori was displaying, although I've never seen it at that level. It's like she was in a fear simulation. She kept screaming 'get them off me.' Do you know how many times in the past three years I've heard those exact words while watching initiates trying to get spiders, ants, centipedes and all sorts of creepy crawlers off themselves? Then if you factor in the sedative and stimulant, they basically ensure that the victim is unconscious but still hypersensitive to stimuli. Combine those three with the fourth, death serum, and you basically have a recipe for scaring someone to death."
"Killing with fears? Who is diabolical enough to think of something like that?" I ask.
"I have no idea but I would bet money that it wasn't Molly," Tobias says. "And even if she was smart enough she would need help. A new serum isn't just something you can whip up on a stove. And for as smart as Lauren is, I don't think that she could manipulate serums in that way. She's got even more help out there."
"I vaguely remember a conversation my parents had at the dinner table when I was little saying that new serums needed a mandate from the council and have to be made in a lab at Erudite," I say, looking toward Zander. "Is that true?"
"I actually think I've heard that before," he says. "I'm not sure if the directive stands but maybe it's time to have Caleb do some research at Erudite." The thought of asking my brother who is already on a mad woman's radar simply because we share the same DNA to look into this mess causes my chest to tighten. I close my eyes and take a couple deep breathes in hopes they will calm me but they do little to soothe my nerves.
"Love, are you alright?" Tobias quietly asks, concern in his voice. I open my eyes and reach up and caress his forehead, smoothing out the worry lines with my thumb just like I did for Peanut a few minutes ago.
"I know that it needs to be done but I hate to involve Caleb," I say. "I hate to involve anyone to tell you the truth." I move my eyes to Zander's. "We were told that Molly and Drew are going after our friends first and then moving on to our family. If anyone else gets hurt because of us I don't know what I'll do."
"This … situation is not your fault, Tris, and it's not yours either, Four. None of us think so," Zander says. "Don't push your friends away and don't stop asking for help because you think someone could get hurt. Don't get me wrong, I don't want anyone else hurt but we don't want anything happening to you two either."
"We appreciate that but the less people involved the better," Tobias says. "I'm going to check Tori's file to see if I can confirm her fears from her landscape, although we know fears change over time. What she experienced may not match her file anymore."
"It would be good to check anyway," he says. "I'm going to keep her sedated for the rest of the day. First thing tomorrow, I'll start weaning the sedation and see what her mental state is. I won't lie to either of you; there's a chance she'll never come back from it, that the trauma was just too much to bear." The thought makes tears prick the back of my eyes but I fight them off.
"Is Will well enough for us to speak with him?" Tobias asks. "We need some answers from him."
"You can stop by and see if he's awake," Zander says. "He's in room 102."
"We'll do that as soon as Teagan stops nursing," I say. "You don't mind that we're using the room do you?"
"Take your time," he says with a warm smile on his face. "I'm going to check on the tests you asked me to run last night. I'll also start on the note that was brought in with Will and Tori."
"I'd appreciate an update as soon as you get any information," Tobias says. "We're closing in on Molly and her accomplices but there's still so much more to learn."
"You got it, Four."
"Killing you with your fears. I've been so worried all this time about them having to face the death serum that I dismissed the simulation aspect," I mutter after Zander leaves us alone. "I still don't understand why someone would invent such a thing. It must have been like torture for them."
"You had a good idea about checking the public records to see if someone ever tried to create a different death serum," he says as I burp Peanut.
"I have a vague memory of sitting at the dinner table listening to my Mom and Dad talk about it. If I'm remembering correctly, neither one of them thought it was a good idea but…"
"But what?" he asks.
"Your father okayed it," I say not wanting to bring Marcus into the conversation. "You don't think?"
"He's capable of anything, love," he says. "We both know that. I think it might be time for a visit to Abnegation. The kids could get to see their grandparents, and we could get some information. Maybe we could give Caleb a heads up as to what information we're needing and he and Cara could come, too."
"I like that idea," I say. "Is Sunday okay or should we do it tomorrow?"
"Sunday should be fine," he says. "Tyler will especially love seeing your parents."
"I know he will. Maybe we shouldn't tell him about the trip just in case something comes up that postpones it," I say.
"I agree," he says. "How is she doing?"
"Our poor girl. She doesn't feel well," I say. "She's just like Tessa when she's sick, eats all the time. It's been approximately every two hours today. Once it wasn't even two hours. I'm worried about her."
"She'll be fine," he says. "Won't you, Peanut." He leans over and kisses her head but she doesn't react. She just keeps her eyes closed and suckles away. "How are you feeling, love?"
"Tired but emotionally charged," I say. "It's strange. My body is beginning to really feel our early morning but my mind is wired. Maybe you can help me settle my mind a little later." I suggestively run my fingertips down the front of his skintight t-shirt.
"I don't think that's going to happen," he says, capturing my hand and kissing each knuckle causing me to ache for him. "You told me you were sore. I won't hurt you just to satisfy some lust."
"Lust," I say under my breath. "We'll see about that." He smirks and shakes his head, ready to argue I'm sure but he wisely thinks twice about it because when I set my mind to something, I make sure it happens. Peanut pulls away from my chest with a yawn and won't latch back on so I give her to Tobias to burp while I fix my nursing bra and shirt. I can't help but smile when he puts her up to his chest and she lays her little head down on his shoulder. "I'm glad you're the father of my children. You're so good with our little Peanut." I think my words surprise him because he blushes slightly. I step up beside him and kiss his cheek then caress my fingers down his temple. "I love you, Tobias."
"I love you, too," he says. He gives me a swift, soft kiss then says, "Shall we go see Will?"
"Yeah," I say. I pick up the diaper bag and follow Tobias out into the hallway. We stop at Tori's door and find that she's still resting then make our way to room 102. He knocks on the door, opens it, and then peeks inside.
"Can we come in?" he quietly says. I don't hear a reply but he opens the door further, and we walk inside. When I see Will lying there in that bed awake relief floods me.
"Will!" I say, rushing to my friend and throwing my arms around him. He grimaces a little at my embrace so I immediately release him. "I'm sorry. Don't you ever scare me like that again, William Drake. Do you hear me?"
"I'm really sorry, Tris. You, too, Four," he says bashfully. "I should have let you know when I got the call this morning telling me where Tori was, especially since I don't remember it anymore."
"What do you mean you don't remember it anymore?" Tobias asks.
"Dr. Parrish says it's a side effect of the injury," Christina says.
"That sounds familiar," Tobias mutters. "After I was attacked on the path last Christmas, I couldn't remember shit. I was lucky though. Within a couple days everything came back to me."
"Doc told us that my memories may or may not come back. Apparently either is perfectly common. It's frustrating though. I gave Simon and Tony details when I woke up that I have absolutely no memory of now. Memory loss sucks."
"Yes, it does," I say, remembering my dad and Tobias' head injuries. It was a very scary time for both of us. "What exactly do you remember?"
"I remember getting a phone call but I have no idea who it was from or what they told me. I only know that it told me where to find Tori because that's what I told the big fellas," he says. I notice that one pupil is wider than the other when I concentrate on his face. Poor Will. "I remember jumping on the train but I don't remember getting off. I remember walking along a gravel path but I have no idea where I was. I remember an uneasy feeling following me around. Lastly, I remember waking up here in the infirmary with my beautiful wife staring at me." Tobias, Christina, and I all look at him, dumbfounded. He remembered more just a few short hours ago. "Why are you all looking at me like I've lost my mind? Even you, Christy."
"Oh, Will," she says, trying to maintain her smile. "You need your rest. Why don't you close your eyes and rest? I'm going to go out into the waiting room and talk to Four and Tris a little more. You have 45 minutes before the nurse will wake you again." She leans over and gives him a lingering kiss then heads toward the door.
"Rest, Will," I say, kissing his cheek then I lower my voice. "I'm so glad you're going to be okay. I love you, Will."
"I love you, too, Tris," he says, his cheeks flushing. "I didn't mean to worry anyone. I wish I could remember what I was thinking. Maybe it would all make sense then."
"There's no need for you to come back to work until you're 100%, okay?" Tobias says as he puts his hand on his shoulder and squeezes. "Rest."
"Thanks, guys," he says. "Bye, Teagan."
"Bye, Will," Tobias and I say at the same time then follow Christina to the waiting room. The three of us sit in a dark, quiet corner.
"Would you like to hold Peanut?" I ask.
"Yes," she practically begs. "I'm missing Liam so much right now." Tobias carefully puts Peanut in her arms. "Thank you. Is there any news on Tori?" Tobias and I look at each other. Should we tell her what we know? I nod slightly and he smiles.
"Four and I think we figured out what the serum Molly is using does," I say. "Tori woke up." Her eyes light up until she recognizes the look on my face. "We think the serum was designed to kill using fear. She was terrified when she woke up … writhing, screaming, cussing, seeing things that weren't there. I have to say it was terrifying for us, too, to see her that way. I can't imagine what she was going through. After Zander sedated her, her vitals finally normalized. Our plan is to talk to her after he weens her off the sedatives. Hopefully she'll be lucid."
"That fucking whore!" she hisses. "When you catch her, give me a minute in a locked room alone with her. I'll tear the bitch limb from limb."
"Keep your voice down," Tobias says.
"Sorry, Four," she says but she doesn't calm down. I swear I see steam coming out of her ears. "I'm just so angry right now. She could have killed Will, taken my husband away from me, my son's father away from him. I'll never forgive her for this. Has Zeke looked at this morning's feeds from the Navy Pier?"
"I haven't checked in with him since first thing this morning," Tobias says. "But I will, soon. Hopefully, there's footage of exactly what transpired at the carrousel. With his memory the way it is right now, it might be the only chance of knowing exactly what happened and giving us the lead we need."
"I didn't want to say anything in front of him but I'm worried about his head injury," she says. "He seems to be forgetting more and more. It's probably a good thing that we have his account that he gave Simon and Tony. I hope he truly is going to be okay." She looks at the clock and sighs. "I should get back to him."
"Of course," I say. "Is there anything I can do for you before we head to the Pire?"
"No, but thank you for asking." We all stand up and Tobias takes Peanut from Christina. I wrap my arms around her in a big hug. "Thanks, Tris."
"If you need anything at all just let me know," I say, finally releasing her. "We'll keep you posted on Tori and the investigation."
"I would appreciate that," she says. "I've got to go. Bye."
"Take care," I say as Tobias says, "Bye." Peanut starts whining as we watch Christina walk away and my stomach growls.
"Would you like to eat in the cafeteria or pick something up and take it home?" he asks.
"As much as I would like to see our friends, let's grab a pizza or two and go home. I miss Tyler and Tessa. You better give her to me. She's going to want fed again before we get home." I take Peanut and press my lips to her forehead and she still seems warm. I situate her in the sling so that my hands are free then we head out into the bustling Pit. First we stop at the commissary for a few groceries then we stop at the pizza parlor and get two take and bake pies, one pepperoni and the other Canadian bacon and pineapple. Before we step back onto the noisy Pit floor, Tobias phones Avery and lets her know we're on our way home.
"Do you mind if I stop at my office before we head up to our apartment?" Tobias asks about half way up the path. "I'd like to get Tori's file and I also want to get everything we have on serums. I'll do some research while Tyler watches a movie or plays with his puzzles."
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," I say.
"And why not?" he asks. "We have so much to do."
"I know we do and I want Molly caught just as much as you do but you've been working at home a lot lately," I say. "I've noticed it but that isn't what bothers me. Tyler's noticed also. I think that has a lot to do with his tantrum earlier. He misses his daddy."
"I work for our family, for Dauntless," he says, somewhat irritated.
"I'm not complaining. I'm only stating a fact. I think that once we get home, all work should be suspended for the evening and Tyler, Tessa, and Peanut should get our full attention. What do you say?"
"I understand what you're saying and I agree," he says.
"Good," I say. "I'm glad. I love you."
"I love you, too," he says. "I'll get the things I need from my office tomorrow. Let's get home."