Just a taster for my new story for Sonia and Jacob after Love will tear us apart finishes.

Something wasn't right. I knew even before I open my eyes. The bed felt different. The temperature. There was so smell of Nessie or of the leeches. It smelt of the woods, the ocean and of something or somebody familiar. It smelt like La Push. I sat up and looked around. Weak sunlight was entering the room through a little slit in the curtains. I was in a room I was never in before but I belonged her. I knew I did.

It was then that I noticed the sleeping figure in the bed beside me. Turned away from me. A head on long black hair cascading on the pillow.

"Sonia….." I whispered out.

"She´s sleeping." A voice came from the corner. As I snapped my head in the direction of where the voice came from I got the fright of my life. It was Sonia….the same eyes, the same face. I looked between the awake figure and the sleeping one in confusion.

"What is this?" I whispered. I got out of the bed gently and stood, not knowing what to do or where to go. For the first time in a long time I felt afraid.

"I don't know really. A dream? A vision? What are your wolfy senses telling you?" Awake Sonia asked.

"My wolfy senses don't seem to be working."

"Too bad." Awake Sonia stepped out of the shadows. Sonia…..she looked exactly the same. The same as when I had to leave. Same clothes…..same everything. "It would be great if you could figure this one out by yourself."

"Which….which one of you is real?" I looked down at the sleeping Sonia again, knowing the answer already.

"She is. I am your memory of her." Awake Sonia walked around the bed and squatted down, looking at her own sleeping face. "I got even better looking if that's even possible." She smiled up at me. "I´m 25 now, how time flies Jacob Black." She was mocking me. She stood up and looked around the room in interest.

"25….seven years…." A feeling of horrible loss churned inside me.

"A long time." Awake Sonia said in a mock sad voice.

"Why am I here?"

"Because you needed to see her. She is your soulmate after all."

"But I imprinted on Nessie."

"You did. But that doesn't mean anything. And you know it."

"I know I love her."

"You are still lying to yourself?" Awake Sonia smiled at me. Like she used to when I did or said something stupid. "You never forgot about me. You could never stop loving me."

I couldn't say anything. I walked around to where Awake Sonia was standing and looked down on sleeping Sonia´s face. She was right, she was even more beautiful than before. She was a woman now. But she looked sad, even sleeping.

I went to brush her cheek, but I couldn't feel her properly. She stirred briefly, frowning.

"She can feel you."

"Could she see me? If she woke up?"

"No."

"Thougth not."

"Why don't you make contact with her normally?"

"And do you really think that she would want that?"

"It would probably fuck her up more. But, she is in danger."

"I know. I can feel it."

"You need to protect her Jacob. From them. From the Cullen´s. From Nessie. You know it."

"I have always known it. Why do you think I left?"

"She knew you had to. She knew it all along. On a very deep level. She thought she could change things. But…..things didn't go as she expected them to."

"She had to be kept in the dark. They all did. It was the only way it would work."

"She could never get over that. She did make something of herself afterwards though. You know Sonia. She has this crazy determination when she is angry and sad."

"But is she happy?"

"The two of you can never be fully happy without the other Jacob."

"Sonia is the strongest person I have ever known."

"Strength can only take you so far. You know too much time has passed. You know you can´t keep the Cullen´s away any longer. Once they figure out that Sonia´s blood is the key to keeping Nessie alive they will stop at nothing to get at her."

"I will never sacrifice Sonia to Nessie. There has to be another way. I don't want Nessie to die."

"There is no other way for them."

"There has to be."

"You are such a tool Jacob!" Awake Sonia shouted at me. "Eurrghhh! We were kids when all this shit happened. Only one of us really grew up though. It´s time that you grew up too. You don't belong with them. You belong here! Beside her. Like you always have and you always will. They are just using you Jacob! Nessie doesn't love you and you know it! She isn't human!"

"It doesn't mean she deserves to die!" I shouted back at Awake Sonia. "You are just fucking bitter because I found someone better! Some I love more!"

"Remember Jacob. I am not Sonia." She smirked at me again. "I am your memory of her. You are not really talking to her. You are talking to yourself."

"So what are you like fucking Jimmeny Cricket or something?"

Awake Sonia shrugged her shoulders and put up her hands.

"I am not her. She could try and contact you like this. If she wanted to. If she was forced to. But when you left with them, you didn´t explain." She looked at me with sad eyes. "You didn't even say goodbye."

I remained silent so she continued.

"How do you think she felt? Believing that you loved her and all of a sudden you just disappearing into the mist with those leeches. And not a word since. To nobody. Not even your dad."

"It had to be done."

"You sound like Edward."

"It's the truth."

"All I am saying is…..stay away from La Push. If you have any respect for the place you came from, don't bring them back there."

"Where are we…now? This is La Push right?"

"No….." Awake Sonia looked around and peeked out the window. "Seattle."

"Seattle? I thought it was La Push, the smell and all."

"Because she is La Push for you. Association. Seattle….I always thought that I would go to New York. Wonder what I am doing here? I wish I could snoop but…" She tried to touch the closet door but her hand went straight through it. She sighed and smiled at me again.

The sound of an alarm startled me. Sure enough, the clock on the bedside table was beeping, showing 6.30.

"What´s going on?"

"Did you really just fucking ask that?" Awake Sonia rolled her eyes at me. "Its an alarm clock." Like she was explaining it to a two year old. "Some people actually have to work for a living."

I watched as real Sonia stirred in bed and woke up with a start. Sitting up abruptly she scanned the room before she hit the alarm to turn it off.

"I think she can sense you Jacob." Awake or should I say Memory Sonia informed me.

"Sonia?" I whispered out. She snapped her head in my direction but looked right through me. She looked terrified.

"Jacob?" She croaked out.

I wanted nothing more than to just hold her. To touch her. To kiss her and talk to her and tell her that I was sorry. I wanted to go back in time and make everything right. I wanted selfishly to make love to her and have her love me like before. But I also wished that I had never imprinted on her. Because it would have been the best thing for her. Not having me in her life and fucking it up time and time again.

She got out of bed and stood looking in my direction for a while before sighing and shaking her head. Following her into the bathroom I saw her open the medicine cabinet and swallow a few pills from a prescription bottle and then stared at herself in the mirror.

"It is not real. They are not real."

After that, I felt myself slipping away. I felt her slipping away from me again. Like I was getting tunnel vision, being pulled backwards towards somewhere that I knew deep down I didn't want to be anymore. That I didn't belong to.

"Jake…Jake wake up!" Nessie´s musical voice first came fuzzy then clear as day.

"Nessie." I opened my eyes and looked at her. And…the veil had been lifted. I swallowed in terror as I saw her, what she really was, for the first time…