I stand at the counter getting supper ready for tonight with Zeke and Shauna. Unfortunately though, the menial task can't keep my attention. I'd give anything if it could. Instead of concentrating on rolling each meatball between my palms, my thoughts are all over the place. They're on Molly, wondering why she's doing what she's doing and how we will really stop her. They're in the infirmary with Will and Tori, wondering if they both will in fact make a full recovery and when. They're in the next room with Teagan and Tessa, hoping they both feel better and soon. They're down in Tobias' office, wondering what new information he's learning about the night Tori went missing. They're in Abnegation, wondering what we'll learn about the death serum tomorrow.
"Mommy? What you doin'?" Tyler asks bringing me back to the now, settling my muddled mind. He's been sitting at the island quietly coloring while his sisters nap in the next room.
"I'm making meatballs," I say, rolling yet another one between my palms then putting it on the baking sheet.
"Why?" he asks, inquisitive as ever.
"Because Zeke and Shauna are coming over tonight, and we're having spaghetti and meatballs for supper," I say. As I talk, his eyes light up. Not only does he love it when our friends comes over but he loves when Tobias or I make one of his favorite meals. I chuckle a little. My boy has a lot of favorite foods. At least he'll never be hungry again.
"Can I show them my woom?" he excitedly asks. "They nevew seen my woom befowe!"
"I don't see why not," I say. "I bet they would love for you to show them your room, especially Zeke. Just don't let him try to go down your slide." And knowing him as I do, he probably will try.
"He too big," he says with a giggle.
"Yes, he is but we both know he's just a big kid," I say and he laughs nearly uncontrollably. "You're in a good mood."
"I with you," he says matter-of-factly making my heart swell. I lean across the island and come practically nose-to-nose with him.
"Guess what?" I ask.
"What?" he asks his eyes wide and so innocent.
"Being with you," I tweak his nose, "puts me in a good mood, too," I say.
"You love me," he says very sincerely. "Moon back."
"Yes, I do," I say. "I better get back to making meatballs. How about you color me a picture?"
"Otay," he says. I quickly roll out the rest of the meatballs, wash my hands, and then put the tray in the oven before starting the sauce. I follow Hana's recipe to the letter and within minutes, the aroma of garlic, tomatoes, and basil wafts throughout the apartment as the sauce simmers on the stove. "I'm going to check on your sisters. I'll be right back." I first check on Tessa who's napping peacefully in her bouncy chair near the couch and love seat then check on Peanut who's in her bassinet. I'm surprised to find her quietly lying there just staring at the ceiling. "Hello, blue eyes. Did the medicine Mommy gave you help?" I carefully pick her up, and she snuggles into my chest but she doesn't act like she's hungry. When we got home from talking to Jennifer Chaucer in Tobias' office, I gave Peanut the antibiotic and then nursed her while he gave Tessa a bottle. After she finished, I put a small amount of the thrush medication on a swab recommended by the pharmacist and applied it to the patches. At first she wailed but soon cried herself to sleep. I guess I'm surprised to see her so content now. "How would you like to sit in the swing?" I take her into the kitchen and adjust the seat of the swing then lay her in it. I start the timer and it gently sways back and forth.
I hear the front door open and glance at the clock. I step into the living room and find my husband kneeling down in front of our sleeping daughter. He's a sight to behold. I walk up beside him and rest my hand on his shoulder, and he looks up at me with a friendly, warm smile on his handsome face that tries to steal my breath. He straightens up until he's towering over me then wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me straight off my feet so he doesn't have to bend or maybe he just wants to feel every inch of my body up against his before his lips land on mine. I fist my fingers in his curls as I move my mouth with his. When we're both panting in much-needed air, I sigh against his lips.
"Hello," he breathlessly says.
"Hi."
"I missed you," he says as he lets my body slide down his until I'm once again on my feet. He cups my face between his palms and kisses me again but it's much sweeter this time.
"I missed you, too," I say. "Did you learn anything new?"
"I don't know," he says. "Can we talk about it later when Zeke and Shauna are here?"
"Sure," I say.
"Something sure smells good," he says. "I didn't know you would go to the trouble of making spaghetti when we invited them over."
"And meatballs!" Tyler excitedly says as he runs towards his father. Tobias barely has time to let go of me before Tyler launches himself at him. Tobias easily catches him and gives him a big hug. "Hi, Daddy! You home fo good?"
"Yes, buddy, I'm home for the night," he says. "What have you been doing while Mommy's been making supper?" He takes a couple steps and saddles up to the island. "Have you been drawing? This one is really good. Can you tell me about it?" Tyler releases his grip on Tobias' neck and looks at the drawing.
"That Mommy," he says. I look at the picture I asked him to draw for me, and my heart constricts. It's basically a circle with yellow scribbles for hair, big oversized light blue ovals for eyes, and a pink crooked semicircle for a mouth, but it's the most beautiful drawing I've ever seen in my life.
"You know, I see that," Tobias says. "She has pretty blonde hair, big beautiful blue eyes, and an amazing smile. You did a wonderful job capturing her true beauty. Did you draw anything else?"
"Yeah. I dwawed all of us," he says pointing at the pile of paper on the island. Tobias shuffles pictures of purple trees with blue leaves, orange and green unicorns with pink horns, and ferocious dinosaurs or maybe they're dogs until he finds a picture of all of us. He pick it up and studies it for a moment then hands it to me. The picture is lovely. It's a combination of stick drawings and exaggerated cartoon-like figures. We're all standing in a line holding hands. I'm larger than Tobias and the babies are both bigger than Tyler.
"What's this?" I ask, pointing to the brown blob next to Peanut.
"That my dog," he says.
"I was wondering that myself," Tobias says.
"It's a lovely dog," I say. "Shall we hang this up on the refrigerator so everyone can see it?" He eagerly nods and excitedly watches as I hang it up with a photo magnet of him. "Now everyone knows you drew this masterpiece."
"Hang up this one," he says, pointing at the picture of me so I pick it up and hang it right next to our family picture. He smiles widely when he sees his artwork displayed for all to see.
"Maybe you should draw a picture of Daddy," I say.
"Otay!" he says. He struggles out of Tobias' arms then climbs up on the barstool and starts drawing like it's his job.
"Would you like to help me finish dinner?" I ask.
"It would be my pleasure," he says. While I throw together a Caesar salad he prepares a large loaf of Italian bread with olive oil and minced garlic to put in the oven when Zeke and Shauna arrive. I check the meatballs then get them out of the oven and carefully put them in the sauce before moving the pan to the warming burner at the back of the stove to keep the sauce at the consistent temperature. "Why don't you go relax until they get here? I'll watch the kids."
"I would like to freshen up," I say. "Thanks. I love you."
"I love you, too." I go up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek then head upstairs. I pick out a comfortable outfit that doesn't have any baby spit up on it then head into the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes after turning on the shower to a comfortable temperature then step inside. I quickly run through my routine then close my eyes and let the pounding water rain down on my tense muscles, massaging the day's stress away. I jump when arms wrap around my waist then large hands glide up my body and settle on my breasts. "It's just me, love," Tobias murmurs in my ear as he massages the plump mounds.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Trying to seduce my wife," he says as he moves my hair off my neck and kisses just beneath my left ear. "Is it working?" I know this is a really bad idea and that I should put a stop to it but instead I relax into his hard chest, loving the feel of his mouth and hands moving on my slippery skin. He takes this as encouragement and slowly slips one hand down to my heated center and finds my nubbin with his fingers. My mouth falls open as I gasp softly. "I'd say we have at least 10 minutes of uninterrupted adult time … if you're interested." How could I not be with what he's doing to me?
"We really shouldn't," I moan as my body sways to the rhythm of his digits.
"Yes, love, we should," he says as he presses his growing erection into my lower back causing me to gasp. I battle with myself knowing this isn't the best idea in the world but the feeling of every inch of his body pressed up against mine as his lips and hands continually move over my breast, nubbin, and neck makes my resistance slip away and spiral down the drain along with the water. I turn in his arms, and our lips crash into each other's. He drags me over to the sizeable shower bench, pulls me down until I'm straddling his lap, and enters me fully in one deep thrust.
"Aahh," I cry out and he stills inside me. We pant against each other's mouths until I tell him I'm ready then we start to move against each other. He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly and buries his head in my neck as he repeatedly thrusts upward as I fist my fingers in his hair and push myself down on his slamming length. This definitely will be quick.
"Oh, God," he mumbles in my ear as we writhe against each other as we carry one another closer to sweet release. Sensing that I'm not quite there, he reaches between our bodies and roughly circles my nubbin with his middle finger as his strokes become shorter, faster, and even more frantic. We move together never missing a beat, him bucking upward as I slam myself down.
"Oh, shit!" I call out and he captures my cries with his eager mouth. As I feel myself slipping over the edge, I toss my head back and convulse around his length again and again. He trusts a few more times into my depths, cries out my name against my neck, then spills himself deep inside. We cling to each other, panting as the shower beats down on us both. He moves his mouth to mine and kisses me passionately.
"God, you're wonderful," he roughly says, winded. "I didn't get too rough did I?" I wrap my arms around his neck and draw his mouth back to mine. This kiss is full of nothing but love. When I pull my lips away, I'm a little shy.
"I like it when you're a little rough," I say not quite meeting his eyes. "And before you ask, you didn't hurt me."
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Tris. I hope I never make you feel like all I want from you is sex," he says. "I practically attacked you twice in one day and if Zeke and Shauna weren't due practically any moment and the kids were in bed, I wouldn't be done with you yet."
"Does that mean I have more to look forward to later on?"
"If you want it," he says, a sexy gleam in his eyes.
"Oh, I'll definitely want it," I say. I kiss him passionately once again then move myself off his softening length. I pick up my coconut body wash and quickly wash up while he does the same. "By the way, I know you want me for more than sex. You show me every day. You finish up. I need to check on the kids." I exit the shower and quickly dress then go into the nursery. The girls are both still sleeping so I head down the hallway to Tyler's room. He's lying on his bed playing with one of his puzzle books. He doesn't notice me, he's so enthralled with his toy, so I go back into the bathroom and quickly dry my hair as Tobias gets dressed. The doorbell rings as we're carrying the girls downstairs and Tyler runs past us to answer the door.
"Don't answer the door yet, Tyler," Tobias says. "Wait for me." He puts Peanut in the bassinet then follows behind our son and lets Zeke and Shauna in.
"Hi, guys," Shauna says. "It smells wonderful in here."
"Thanks! I made spaghetti and meatballs," I say.
"Hana's recipe?"
"Is there any other?" Zeke asks with a chuckle following us into the kitchen.
"You wanna come see my woom?" Tyler asks as he tugs on Zeke's hand.
"I would love to see it," he says. "Can Shauna come, too?"
"Yeah!" He holds both their hands then leads them up the stairs. "Be back!"
"I love that our friends include Tyler in their lives," Tobias says. "They could just tolerate him for our benefit but they all truly love him, too. They have since we introduced him."
"Tyler is very easy to love," I say as I put the loaves of garlic bread in the oven. Peanut starts whining in the other room so I check on her. She has her little hand in her mouth with a grimace on her face. "Can you finish getting supper ready? Peanut's hungry and getting crabby again."
"Of course," he says. I grab a fresh diaper, wipes, a blanket, and the thrush medication then sit on the ottoman. I put the blanket down on the coffee table and change her wet diaper then sit back in the club chair and begin to nurse her. She suckles hungrily but whines the entire time. When I hear Zeke and Shauna coming down the stairs, I cover her head with the blanket.
"You have an awesome room, Tyler," Zeke says as he carries him on his shoulders into the living room. "I would love a slide and swing in my bedroom." I catch Shauna's eye, and she grins as she rolls his eyes.
"The sad truth is he's not kidding," she says. "He would love to live in a fort or a tree house. I often wonder how I fell in love with such a little boy."
"Aren't all men just little boys at heart?" I ask and we laugh together.
"Your wife's making fun of us, dude," Zeke says.
"So is your girlfriend," Tobias says.
"We love you and you know it," she says.
"Yeah, what she said," I tease with a giggle, which sets off Shauna. All the noise wakes Tessa up.
"May I?" Shauna asks.
"By all means," Tobias says, "but she may have a dirty diaper."
"I don't think one dirty diaper will hurt me," she says as she lifts Tessa out of her swing. My normally very happy baby is crabby again. "I helped my mom with Hector's diapers once in a while when he was a baby. It wasn't my favorite thing to do but I liked playing 'Mommy.' Lynn hated it." Tobias gets a diaper and wipes and gives them to her. "Thanks."
"So, have you changed your mind about a baby?" Zeke asks.
"You gettin' mawwied?" Tyler excitedly asks. Zeke's mouth drops open, and he starts sputtering and mumbling incoherently. Shauna just shakes her head.
"No, buddy," she says. "Uncle Zeke and I aren't getting married and until we do, there won't be any babies." His smile fades and I can tell that he's truly disappointed that they aren't getting married, and if I'm not mistaken, so is Shauna. She finishes up Tessa's diaper then volunteers to feed her.
"It might not be easy," I say. "She's cutting a tooth."
"I'll take my chances," she says. She makes faces at Tessa who rewards her with a big grin. "I see where her tooth is going to come through. Poor baby." I still feel bad that I missed the signs.
"Four, Zeke, why don't you get something to eat," I say. "I'm sure you're hungry and Tyler is, too."
"Yeah, my tummy cwying," he says.
"Are you sure?" Tobias asks. "We can wait for you."
"No, go ahead," Shauna says.
"Alright," Zeke says.
"How are you doing, Tris?" she asks after our guys go into the kitchen.
"For the most part, I'm wonderful," I say as I check on Peanut who stopped nursing. "I wish this mess with Molly and her suspected revenge was over though."
"Me, too," she says. "It's been a rough year, one thing right after another. Do you ever feel that you and Four are jinxed?"
"Jinxed?" I repeat. I think about it for a moment then shake my head. "Maybe I should feel that way but I don't. I think we're very lucky to have found each other and that we get to lean on each other during the tough times. I don't know how I would handle a quarter of what life throws my way without him. I know it's probably cliché but … he's my rock."
"I know couples twice your age who have been together for decades who don't have the bond you do," she says. "If I'm completely honest, I'm a little jealous. You probably picked up on it earlier." I shake my head. "You and Four have been together for just a little over a year now and you're married, you have three kids, and you have the type of relationship everyone dreams about having. I've known Zeke my entire life, and we aren't on the same page about anything at the moment." She quiets her voice so he can't hear her. "When I talk about marriage, he freaks out. When he brings up children, my stomach ties into knots. No offense to you and Four but I want to be married before I have kids but something has a bee in his bonnet about having a baby." A bee in his bonnet?
"No offense taken, and even though I love each and every one of my children with my whole heart, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wished Teagan's arrival was a couple years in the future but things are what they are," I say. "You two will work it out. I know it isn't easy when you aren't on the same page as the one you love. It can be agonizing." She looks at me skeptically as she burps Tessa. "Shauna, Four and I fight, and it's embarrassing to admit but Zeke has even witnessed it a few times. We don't live in a fairy tale. No one does. We just made a promise to each other to always be honest with each other about what we want. Luckily, we usually want the same thing."
"I guess it's easy to look at someone else's life and think that it's perfect even though you honestly don't know what's going on behind closed doors," she says.
"When did you first bring up marriage?" I ask.
"When you and Four were getting married," she shyly says. "It's like my biological clock started echoing in my head but to get married not have a baby. I'm years away from wanting that but it's like the exact opposite happened for him when Teagan was born. He would be thrilled if I made him a father but if I hint at making him a husband, he wants to run the other way. I just don't get it."
"I wish I could help but I can't," I say. "All I can say is talk it out, keep the lines of communication open, and always be honest." I chuckle a little at myself. "I swear that is the only advice I know how to give. I've given it to Christina, Avery, and now you."
"Well for what it's worth, it is good advice," she says.
"Shall we join our guys?" I ask when Peanut and Tessa are both done eating. "You can put Tessa in her swing in the kitchen. I have to give Teagan her medicine. I'll just be a minute." I thinly brush the thrush medication on the patches then put her in the bassinet so she can sleep then join our guests at the dinner table.
"Tris, you did a wonderful job on super," Zeke says as he pushes his empty plate away. "I could have sworn my mom made it."
"I agree," Shauna says. "I didn't think anyone made spaghetti and meatballs the way she does but I've been proven wrong."
"That's sweet of you guys to say." Tyler is sitting across from me and his eyes keep shutting and his head sways. I point it out to Tobias who picks him up and carries him upstairs. About 10 minutes later he comes back just as Shauna and I are finishing our meals.
"He's out for the night," he says. "Shall we move this into the living room?" I pick Tessa up and get her butterfly out of the refrigerator and hand it to her. She shoves it in her mouth and coos contentedly. I sit down on the love seat next to Tobias and Zeke and Shauna sit on the couch.
"What's the latest on Will and Tori?" Zeke says. Tobias tells then everything about Will's injuries and what progress he's made so far.
"The last time I talked to Zander he told me that Will should be able to go home tomorrow," he says.
"That's great news," I say, hearing it for the first time along with our guests.
"Tori's story isn't as bright." They sit on the edge of their seats taking in every word Tobias says about her injuries, memory loss, second attempt on her life, and the marriage proposal.
"You've got to be kidding me?" Zeke says. "That's horrible. I know she can be a pain in the ass sometimes but no one deserves what she's going through. Maybe it's best if she doesn't remember."
"That seems like the general consensus," I say.
"We do have a plan to get Molly, Drew, and Lauren's DNA," Tobias says telling them about having them followed.
"What about the redhead?" Shauna asks. "Olivia, right? Shouldn't we be getting her DNA also just to be on the safe side?"
"That's actually a good idea," he says.
"I don't know how I could forget her but so much of the circumstantial evidence we have right now points only at Molly, Drew, and Lauren that the bitch is kind of out of sight, out of mind. We haven't had any trouble from her since Teagan was born but you're right. We were told to watch her, too."
"Did either of you come up with a way to use Lauren and Molly's connection against them?" Tobias asks.
"Not really," Shauna says.
"You might not like it," Zeke says.
"What is it?"
"Arrest Kirsten for the crimes and announce to Dauntless that she's responsible for everything," he says. "Hold her here for a few days then transfer her to Candor for a closed interrogation. Molly and Lauren would think that they're in the clear. I can almost guarantee they will try something else … something that says, 'Hey, look at me. You got the wrong person, fool.'"
"I can guarantee that Kirsten won't like that plan," I say.
"What would be the reason she did it?" Tobias says. "If I'm going to literally wreck her life for a few days, her motive has to be legitimate." We all stare at each other for a few minutes until an idea pops into my mind.
"Let's keep it simple," I say. "Revenge. Revenge on the faction that turned her into an outcast after Dante was found to be a spy, revenge on her friends who didn't believe in her innocence and turned their backs on her, revenge on the leaders who did nothing to stop the execution of her loving husband."
"When you put it like that, she really sounds like the true perpetrator," Zeke says.
"The question is, do we tell her our plan before we execute it?" I ask. "If we execute it."
"It may be cruel but I think it will be more realistic to arrest her in public then tell her our plan later and beg for her forgiveness," Tobias says. "I actually like the plan but it doesn't guarantee Molly will make a move."
"What if we publicly humiliated her?" I ask.
"How?" Shauna asks.
"We arrest Kirsten in the cafeteria, making sure Lauren is there to witness it. We then make an announcement that our previous suspect, Molly Atwood, a disgraced, former Dauntless initiate has been cleared of all charges because basically it's been found that she isn't smart enough to have orchestrated a crime this elaborate. If I'm not mistaken, that will make Lauren run directly to her and unless we're wrong about Molly's need for revenge, I think it will cause her to make a move, and we'll be there to catch her." Tobias, Zeke, and Shauna look at each other then start nodding.
"How did your wife become so diabolical?" Zeke asks. "Are you sure you were born in Abnegation, Tris?" I roll my eyes at his absurdity. Tessa starts whining so I cradle her in my arms and massage her sore gums. She holds on to my hand while she gnaws on my finger.
"How about you chew on this?" I ask as I replace my finger with her butterfly. "Mommy's finger is not a teether."
"When do we enact the plan?" Shauna asks.
"Monday at the earliest," Tobias says. "Tris and I are going to Abnegation to talk to her father and brother about the serum Molly's using. Hopefully, we get some answers about where it came from and how it fell into her hands. There's one other thing that we need to talk about." He looks at Zeke and Shauna and asks, "Do you guys remember Marty Turner?" This is a name that I'm 99% sure I've never heard before.
"Eric's sleazy little friend from initiation?" Shauna asks with a look of disgust on her face.
"That would be the one," Tobias says then he looks my way and seeing my confusion says, "Eric only had one friend in Dauntless because no one else could stand him and his name was Marty Turner. Unfortunately, he's a clone of Eric." Why have I not heard about this guy before now if he's as bad as Eric? "He didn't do well during initiation and has been assigned to the fence for the past three years. He also had a huge crush on Lauren but she made it painfully obvious to the entire compound that her feelings would never be reciprocated." Okay. Interesting. "Anyway, I've been doing some research on how the car that disappeared the night Tori did got all the way out to Amity. I called up the gate logs and besides regularly scheduled deliveries to and from Amity there's no record of the gate opening since two days before Tori disappeared. So I dug a little deeper and found that Marty was the one scheduled that night on gate duty. I wouldn't have thought too much about it but I've seen him palling around with Lauren in the cafeteria on more than one occasion this past week. All of a sudden, they look pretty chummy."
"She would whore herself out for Molly?" I ask, disgusted. I didn't think I could lose any more respect for Lauren Jones but I was wrong. Not only is she a murderer but she's also a prostitute.
"It seems like he did her a favor and now she's dating him," he says. "I know you already have your plate overfull, Zeke, but I need you to see if you can follow Marty's movements over the past few weeks. We've always assumed the male DNA was Drew's but with this revelation, it could be Marty's. Like I told Tris earlier, if we could just find the weak link, we could unravel their plans."
"So tomorrow you'll investigate the serum and I'll surveil Marty," Zeke sighs. "Wanna trade?"
"Sorry, bud. No can do," Tobias says. "Another thing. If we have to enact the plan with Kirsten, you'll have to pull all current surveillance off of Molly and her minions, Shauna. We don't know if they've been made or not. If they have, they'll never believe we think Kirsten is behind everything if we're still watching them. Have replacements ready to go in."
"Okay, Four," he says. "What about gathering DNA?"
"Put a couple people on it. Someone you trust wholeheartedly. Maybe younger, innocent faces would be less assuming."
"I have a couple people in mind especially for this job but they aren't mine," she says.
"Who?" he asks.
"Brody and Ana," she says. "Brody has a reason to be in the factionless sector. He has family there. Maybe he's visiting his mother, introducing his girlfriend, and sees Molly chewing on a straw. He would know how to interact with these people."
"As much as I hate it … and I really do, I don't want them put in harm's way … it's a brilliant plan. I never would have thought to use Brody that way but he has to agree to it. Ana too. You can't order them. They're both good Dauntless members and I don't want him getting caught up in his old life."
"There's one slight flaw with that plan," Tobias says. "Ana works for Lauren." I forgot about that. "There would be no way to surreptitiously send her to the factionless sector."
"There would have to be a good reason why Brody would want to take Ana there," I say. "Meet his mother would be one. Maybe something to do with Faith."
"If we can get by without using his dead sister, I'd like the plan better," Tobias says. "Talk to Brody tomorrow, Zeke. See what he says."
"I'll call him in to help me with the footage and bring up the topic," he says. Tessa yawns then starts fussing. I look at the clock and she shouldn't be hungry but she's giving me multiple cues.
"I think we've overstayed our welcome," Shauna says as he looks at the clock herself.
"We're not running you off," I say. "I'm just surprised she's hungry again so soon. It's going to be another long night I'm afraid."
"I think we should go," Zeke says. He and Shauna get up off the couch and move toward the door and Tobias and I follow behind them. "I think we made some good progress tonight on what we're going to do. Are you going to fill in Will?"
"When he comes back to work," Tobias says. "I don't want to overwhelm him. He needs rest. He's already struggling to remember something that might never return. I don't want to tell him our plans then have him think he's not pulling his weight. Something else I need from both of you soon is an idea of who to replace Harrison. I'm drawing a blank. If you can think of someone, let me know."
"You got it, Four," they both say.
"Thanks again for the wonderful supper," Shauna says. "We should do this more often, not just when there is a crisis in Dauntless."
"I agree," I say. We give hugs and say our goodbyes then watch as they disappear down the stairs. After we walk back into the apartment, he double checks the locks. "That really was a productive night." I sit down in my chair and put Tessa to my breast and she latches on with ease. "Little one, you shouldn't be hungry again so soon." Tobias collapses onto the couch, puts his feet up on the coffee table, and runs his hands aggressively over his face then through his hair. "You can talk to me." He's silent for a while then he sighs.
"Is it worth the possibility of losing good friends forever just to apprehend Molly?" he asks. "I'm not just talking about Kirsten either. What about Ciara, Ella, and James? I'd include Trevor and Stefan, too, but I don't know them very well, not yet but I genuinely like them both. If we publicly humiliate her, who's to say we don't lose all of them in the name of catching a problem we created. And then there's Brody and Ana. Using them is brilliant but it's exactly that … using them. God! Sometimes I hate that making all these decisions ultimately ends with me. I still say it would be so much easier to just bring in Molly, Drew, and Lauren and execute them in the center of the Pit." I take a deep, breath, not exactly knowing why to say. "It's alright if you don't have the answers … I don't either."
"I don't want to lose anyone either, and if we don't stop Molly, there's a chance that she could take someone else away from us forever. I think in the end, after Molly and her minions are in custody and they learn how hard this decision was for us to make, that everyone will forgive us. She has to be stopped."
"You're right, love," he says. "I'm going to clean up the kitchen." He leans over and gives me a tender kiss then heads into the kitchen. I hear clangs and clatter as I finish nursing Tessa. Instead of being her usually jovial self when she finishes, she lies in my arms with a frown on her face chewing on her hand.
"I sure hope that tooth pops through soon so you start feeling better," I say. I massage her gums, and this time she doesn't try to use me as a chew toy. After a while her eyelids droop and she falls asleep. "I love you, little one." Just as soon as she's down, Peanut starts fussing. I close my eyes and sigh. Tobias comes into the room and takes Tessa from me.
"I'll put her to bed," he says. "You can take care of Peanut."
"Then some Tris and Tobias time?" I ask, my voice hopeful.
"Definitely," he says. He leans in but hesitates a moment before his lips meet mine. The kiss if full of promise of what's to come. "Take your time, love."
"Don't fall asleep, baby," I say, causing him to chuckle. I watch him carry Tessa up the stairs until I can't see him anymore then I pick Peanut up. "Hey, baby girl. Are you still miserable?" I can see in her eyes that she is. I give her the last dose of antibiotics and acetaminophen for the day then sit down to nurse her. She eats more than she has at any one sitting for the past few days, which hopefully is a sign that she's feeling better. When she's done I carry her up to our bedroom intending on putting her in her crib for the night but my husband is lying naked on the bed … asleep so I put her in the bassinet after changing her into some PJs. I slip out of my clothing, craving the feeling of his skin on mine then get the sheet and quilt off the floor, drape it over Tobias, and then slip in beside him. "Goodnight, sleepyhead. I love you." He grunts his reply as I cuddle up next to him after kissing his cheek and go to sleep.