I got this bellydance song stuck in my head that has a lot of 'um hmm' dunna na na dun dun dun na na naaaaah...oh wait, you can't hear that can you? That's probably the best.
Glorious pants!
Chapter 9: The Questionable Depth of Agency
Water rippled past the bus window, warping the world outside to blotches of color and varying shades of grey. The heated interior of the bus was a blessed relief, even if it was crowded as always. Joey and Yugi had been lucky to get a seat period, let alone one in the back. They had also been lucky to get a bus right when it started to rain.
Yami floated in a small space next to the wall above him, trying to put himself in view of Yugi so he could see his concerned expression, because it was the best he could do with no corporeal body of his own.
"Please, talk to me." he was saying. "Let me in. This is unlike you, abiou."
But Yugi was all too happy to enjoy the poisonous thoughts within him alone, mostly because the logical, optimistic half of him was getting more and more exasperated by the minute by it. He was ashamed of himself. He would let Yami in when he had his dignity again.
"So, Yug,"
"Yeah?"
"I've noticed Tea's cheered up. Did you ever hear what was wrong?"
Yugi felt his teeth go on edge. Any normal guy wouldn't be so attentive to someone's changed mood. But Joey had always been hyper aware of what others were doing about him. It was part of the reason he got so quickly attracted to making Yugi 'a man' during their freshman year before they had ever thought of being friends.
He debated his answer. Joey was his best friend. At the same time, he had the mouth the size of Niagara Falls when it came to keeping secrets. Yugi bit his lip.
"Well…it's because she liked this guy, you see."
"Why would liking a guy turn her into a freaking beast, though? I know women will always be a mystery to me, but I thought girls got all blushy and giggly when they liked guys, not tearing people's heads off."
"I think it's because the situation was rather complicated. If it was just a normal guy—"
"Woa, wait. I know where this is going. She fell in love with some old geezer, didn't she?"
"Gak! Why do you always have to suppose the worst!" Though there was some truth to that statement. Yami had to be at least four thousand years old.
The said old man watched Joey and Yugi from next to the window latch, his expression hard and arms folded.
Joey smirked and rubbed his nails on his jacket. "It's because people don't suppose the worst that the worst happens. Now, cough it up."
"What?"
"You know what. The juicyness. Who was Tea hang'n after?"
"No way! I was suppose to keep that a secret!"
"Said who?" muttered Yami. Yugi pretended not to hear the spirit.
"All the more reason to tell me! Come on, man, we're best buddies, aren't we?"
"Yes?"
"And best buddies tell each other everything, don't they?"
"That's true with girls and their friends, maybe."
"Are you calling me a girl?" there was both a hint of amusement and indignation in Joey's eye.
"No. I just don't want to tell you what I've sworn to keep secret. I shouldn't have said anything."
Then, quite unexpectantly, Joey fell silent. Yugi squirmed beneath his x-ray examination of him. Then his eyes fell on the golden puzzle around his neck and he held it. Joey could be oblivious just as much as the next idiot, but he wasn't the master duelist he was for nothing.
And Yugi could see an idea click.
"Wait a minute," his face cracked into an evil grin. "She went after the pharaoh, didn't she?"
"Yep." said Yami, even though Yugi was the only one who could hear him. The spirit than proceeded to roll his eyes at his hikari's reddening cheeks.
Joey hooted with laughter. "Oh hell, that had to have been awkward! I mean, you didn't switch over and do anything with her, or—" then his eyes widened at what he was saying and he changed to somber in a blink of an eye. "Oh crud, awkward. I thought you liked her and…aw man, you all right Yugi?"
"I'm fine." he said quickly.
"Aw man, that's just the most screwed up love triangle I've ever heard. Like something out of my sister's girly manga."
"Joey—"
"The girl you like favors your alter ego who in turn favors, what? Some slave girl who travels through time, maybe?"
"Joey, I'd stop while you're ahead."
A ding echoed across the bus along with the smoker voice of the bus driver announcing the stop. The bodies crowding the bus began to shift down the aisle like toothpicks in a dispenser. The tall teen got to his feet with pity in his eyes.
"You got some screwed up luck, Yug. If you want to, you know, go to the arcade sometime, just call me up. I hate being home as it is." It was Joey's way of saying he was there for him, whatever may happen.
Yugi pushed on a smile. "I know. If I have any plans I'll defiantly call you."
With that, Joey waved and was sucked through by the shifting column of people towards the door. A minute later, the bus gave a gasp of exhaust and crawled back onto the road. A middle aged man took up Joey's seat with his nose in a newspaper. On the front was the picture of the half pyramid, half skyscraper event. Rain pounded harder than ever on the roof.
Yami slipped in close to Yugi's other side, sitting through his backpack until it looked like it was simply sitting on his lap. His eyes held a softness that he only ever reserved for him.
"Abiou…"
He sighed and reluctantly thought. 'Yes?'
"I just want you to know that you are free to love whomever you please. It doesn't matter to me. I think you are worth any woman you set your eyes on."
'Yami, whatever you're thinking I'm upset about, you're wrong. It's just girls. There's half a billion of them in the world and I got more important things to worry about. Stop treating me like I'm some sappy character from a romance novel.'
He could feel the spirit prickle a bit at this. "I've never treated you as such. You are a strong and noble person. What I'm worried about is whether you know that yourself and your sense of self worth, not whether or not you can get a girlfriend."
'I'm sorry.' Though in reality he was regretting opening his mouth at all.
"I heard that, abiou. I'm glad you told me what you were feeling." Yami glanced out the window. "How about we get out for a bit before we head home? I think some fresh air might do you good."
"It's pouring!"
Without meaning to, Yugi had said it out loud, and the balding man next to him flinched. He blinked at him through his thick glasses as Yugi gave an apologetic smile. Snorting, the man turned back to his paper.
Yami was grinning.
"You know, most people would think you were insane."
'And you're dead, Yami. Do you have a point?'
"Ah, the point is yours."
Yugi found himself smiling. He didn't care what Yami brought with him, whether it was crazy evil villains, monsters, or beautiful girls who would always overlook him. He'd always bless the day the pharaoh came into his life. And even if the day came when the spirit had to leave him, he would always consider him his closest friend, more dearer than a brother.
Another ding and the gravelly voice of the driver came on the intercom. Yami fluttered up into the air as Yugi grabbed his backpack and the navy umbrella underneath it.
'Very well,' Yugi thought to him. 'You win. Let's go get a hot chocolate or something.'
It wasn't till Yugi was through the press of bodies and out beneath his umbrella in the downpour that Yami sidled up to him with a mischievous smirk.
"You know, one may call this a date, my abiou."
Yugi just raised his eyebrow and bothered to say out loud. "I didn't know you swung that way. Though I should have known with all that leather."
Yami threw his head back and laughed his bark like laugh as the rain poured through him. His sharp eyes sparkled as he came down to walk besides him.
"Only for you, little one. Only for you."
Yugi found himself laughing as well. "Tea would be jealous."
"Always!"
People ignored him seemingly talking to air as they hurried past. The city had turned into streams upon streams of umbrellas and thunder rumbled across the sky. Below them the sidewalk had been painted with rippling pools of grey. Though, despite the depressing color, Yugi liked it. The rain made him smile.
Up ahead he spotted a small coffee shop and made his way towards it. He hadn't taken even five steps when something white burst through the stream of umbrellas on the other side of the street: a girl, dressed in a simple blue t-shirt and shorts, who had apparently flung off her umbrella along with her shoes to run as fast as she could through the crowd. People cried out and yelled as they dodged to the side to avoid being hit.
Both Yugi and Yami froze. Blond curls stuck to her face and neck with rain, but she had yet to notice Yugi and his invisible companion.
Yami moved first, hand outstretched, with her name on his lips. The bonds of the puzzle pulled Yugi after him in a collision course towards the quickly approaching girl. Yugi couldn't help but notice she was going very, very fast, and that Yami was dragging him into the street.
She can run!
But his own breath caught up with him. She still hadn't seen them. Surely she was going to crash right into them. Cars honked and slammed on their breaks. Bicycles with their rain coated riders fumbled to change course.
"Aleah!" he cried.
Miraculously, out of the deluge of noise and the roar of the rain, she heard her name and stumbled to a stop to look wildly around for the speaker. Yami floated before her, his hands raised to touch her, to do something—but as Yugi came nearer he stepped away, utter confusion on his face. The last thing Yugi saw of him was his baffled, even dismayed expression before he vanished back into the puzzle for Yugi to stumble in front of her.
"Aleah!"
Her blue eyes shivered on him. From head to toe she was completely soaked and at first he thought she was too out of breath to speak to him. Then, to his confusion, she stepped away with a frightful look. But Yugi suddenly felt too happy to care. He had never known someone to have such an effect on him.
"Yugi?"
"What luck to find you here! Wow, you're soaked! You must be freezing! And what happened to your shoes?"
Knees trembling she turned from him. Instantly, Yugi had his hand around her wrist.
"Please, don't go. If you keep on like this you'll get sick."
"I-I can't be around you."
"I know, but…it's only telling me the pharaoh's name you've got to worry about, right? And you look in a state…"
Her wrist felt like ice in his hands and it trembled. He held to it tighter, though she had yet to make an attempt to break free from him. Scrambling for an excuse, he glanced back across the street to the coffee house.
"H-how about I get you a hot chocolate or a coffee? It will at least help you warm up. Then you can be on your way. Besides, I've been really worried about you, Aleah. I promise we won't talk about anything Egyptian or time, deal? Besides, it's got to be fate that we met up here, right?"
"I don't belong…"
"I think that's up to you."
Through rows of wet, curly hair, she looked back at him. Something glimmered deep within her gaze, as though she were desperate to believe him, thirsty for someone to speak such words. It made his insides ache with want to bring her to him—to wrap her up in warmth and give her whatever she wanted.
Was this how Yami had felt so many centuries ago?
Tremulously, she nodded and he did not hesitate to pull her under the umbrella and shrug off his rain coat. He handed it to her and she looked at it uncertainly
"Here. I hope it's not too small."
"You sure?"
"Course! Besides, I have dry clothes, unlike you."
"I…I like the rain." But she took it anyways. His stomach did a weird twisty loop inside him when she snuggled up into the fleece and smiled shyly at him past the collar.
"It fits just right." she said softly.
"Good! I kept it warm for you, then."
And before she could see the glamorous blush on his face for saying something so incredible cheesy and stupid—for saying a lot of cheesy and stupid things, he turned to make his way to the crosswalk, holding the umbrella above them. The tinkle of rain on the umbrella sounded like a downpour of thousands of glass beads or pebbles, and Yugi wasn't sure whether something awesome had happen, or if he had just made a horrible mistake.
Within the puzzle, Yami had fallen silent.
Inside the coffee shop the walls were painted in mellow reds and browns. Bossa jazz played over the speakers, and old black and white prints of famous photos covered the walls, including some workers on their lunch break sitting on a beam hundreds of stories in the air without anything in sight to catch them should they fall. Yugi could somehow relate to them as he led a shivering, wet Aleah to small table in the corner next to a heater. A few patrons looked up as they entered and gave her sympathetic looks.
She looked about her nervously as he got up to take a look at the menu, written next to the counter on an old black board.
"Do you know what you want?"
Suddenly, her stomach gave a loud gurgle. Eyes wide and face red, she tried not to meet his eyes. He chuckled.
"When was the last time you ate?"
"Well, I had a few pieces of fruit an hour ago…"
The silence at the end told him enough.
"They sell sandwiches here if you'd like me to get you one."
"I'll be fine." she muttered, still blushing. "You don't have to get me anything."
Rather than stand there and argue against this, he shrugged and ordered two hot chocolates and a large turkey chipotle sandwich—for himself, of course. He would just let it sit there between them until she gave in to its aroma and her empty stomach. If not, he loved turkey chipotle.
The hot chocolates were foaming with whip cream when he brought them over. He set one in front of her with a smile.
"I hope you're not lactose intolerant."
At first she only stared at the beverage, her hands suspended over the heater besides them, as though unable to comprehend what she was saying. Then, with a smile, she lifted the cup and took a tentative sip through the cold mound of whip cream.
"Thank you," she murmured.
"Your welcome."
She sipped at it to the sound of warm saxophones. He found himself staring and quickly looked away. The last thing he needed was for her to think he was a creep.
A thrumming, alto voice broke out through the sax. A table over the low voices of two scrawny men in biking shorts thrummed over to him, but not loud enough for him to make out the words over the quiet jazz.
Huh…now that he thought of it, he sort of liked this music. Not that he could understand the lyrics much, seeing they were in English, which he had never been very good at.
"You know, I really am a spoiled brat."
She was gazing into the depths of her drink. By now the whip cream had melted into the hot chocolate.
"In all regards, the pharaoh did treat me well. I could've had it so much worse. But instead I was too wrapped up in my homesickness and fear to be grateful." She fingered the foam of her cup. "And…well, I could say that's the story of this whole crazy fiasco. It could've been so much worse, but because I fell into the arms of kind people, I really am just fine. The worst I have is a few scars on my back, feet, and this green ring around my ankles that never want to leave." She chuckled dryly. "I guess it's to remind me of him so I can't run away from that, at least. That's why I wore chains anyways."
"Aleah," he said, "it's okay to be afraid and to just want to go home. You're lost in a way most people don't ever expect to be. It's okay to want to run away."
She shook her head. "No. I've been pathetic. I mean, I can time travel! I've met wonderful people! What is wrong with me. I've still…just look at me now. I've done it again. I've run away. And now Shadi is probably frantic to find me when all he's trying to do is help me get home."
Her bottom lip began to tremble. Blinking hard, she looked away as a black aproned waitress came over to set Yugi's sandwich on the table. He nudged it to the center with a smile.
"Now, I got this sandwich for me." he said gently, "so you're going to have to ask real nice if you want me to share. Turkey chipotle is my favorite." he waved the sandwich a bit just for good measure before picking it up and taking a bite.
When tear rolled down her face and she closed her eyes tight, he almost couldn't finish chewing.
"Aleah…" he murmured. Was this his fault?
"I don't understand." she said, her voice soft enough to sound solid. "He says we don't belong to any time. That we were never born with a destiny—never meant to exist. But…why were we born then? And does that mean that I won't belong at home either? That I'll always be alone and all ghosty like him?"
He dropped the sandwich back into the tray. Before he could think of what to say, Yami appeared hovering about her, his hands fluttering about her desperately. He looked up at Yugi in dismay.
"Do something." His voice had a strain Yugi had never heard before. "Please. I can't see her like this. Please, Yugi."
Yami was just the reminder to Yugi's conscience of how wrong this all was. What was he doing? She was Yami's, and yet Yami was dead and he was alive, and she was from the future, but…
Shaking the thought from his mind, he quickly swallowed.
"How do you know what Shadi says is true?"
She peered out at him through a frantic blinking. "Huh?"
"Shadi is a man like the rest of us. He isn't omniscient. Besides, if you were never meant to exist, why do you exist? You really shouldn't believe everything that's told to you." He scratched his nose and winced. "I learned that the hard way."
If anything, she looked confused. "But…I screw up how time lines are suppose to be. I screw up peoples destinies because I'm the outside factor. Doesn't that make me a stranger wherever I go?"
"Ironically, I was just talking to someone about that. She use to be the holder of the millennium necklace." At her widening eyes he smiled. "You recognize it then? Well, one time she was dueling a, er, friend of ours who believed that his future was what he made it. Of course, she could see the future and saw that he would lose the duel. But, at the last second of the turn that would make him lose, he changed his mind and his future abruptly changed. Needless to say, she was rather thrown when he won the duel when she had seen him losing."
"What are getting at with all this?"
"That we have a choice." He took a sip of his hot cocoa. "I mean, if you think about it, it doesn't make sense to have our whole lives planned out for us while making us receive consequences for our choices. Why even give us agency if we can't choose? And then punish us in the afterlife for being evil or good?" he gave her a weak smile. "I guess what I'm saying is, I disagree with Shadi. If you mess with people's destinies, they can still choose how they are going to react to you. For example, Yami was never meant to meet you, but," and at this, he looked down at his beverage, feeling something sticky and hot welling up inside his chest. "But he still loved you. I don't see how loving someone is bad or destructive. I mean, especially if it's being in love with someone like you."
Another jazz song ended on a throbbing note. Only the voices of the arguing bikers filled the silence.
"I'm just saying—" said one.
"Stop saying. You don't have anything backing you up, it's a stupid idea." said the other.
"It's just something you have to believe me on, okay? Besides, do you have any evidence on the contrary?"
This gave his friend pause.
Yugi looked up to see Yami crouched at the side of the shivering Aleah, a look in his eyes that made Yugi's heart jump to his throat. He knew the pharaoh could barely remember anything, but the way he looked at her was deeper than memories. His incorporeal hands wrapped about her knees, but for all Aleah knew, Yugi was looking at an empty space next to her.
Rather, she was looking intently at Yugi, a tender pleading in her eyes.
"But, Yugi…" her lips trembled worse than ever, "he said he found me here because when he went to my time to find me, you…you were dead when you weren't suppose to be. Seven years earlier, so sometime this year."
Whatever he had been expecting to hear from her, this wasn't it. Even Yami flinched and turned his attention to his smaller hikari, his eyes wide.
Yugi didn't answer right away. How could he? So he swirled around the remains of his whip cream while he thought of something to say to that.
Meanwhile, she went on, bordering on blubbering.
"He said—he said it was because I told you the pharaoh's name too early, and, but…Yugi, I don't want to be the reason you die. I may not know you very well, but…but you're the last person who deserves to die before his time. I don't want to change that destiny, because where's your choice in that?"
Yami opened his mouth to speak, but instead brought his pale hands to his face.
Seeing that was what Yugi needed.
"It's okay!" he said gently, "Jeez, I'm not dead yet. Besides, if that's the case, all you need to do is not tell me his name."
"What if I slip?"
"I'm pretty sure you won't. Besides, you don't have to stick around me. I just…you looked so cold and wet, it would've made me feel awful to leave you out there."
"I choose to be like that." she sniffed. "It was my own stupidity."
"Then let it be my own stupidity if I want to be around you, because I, for one, like that you exist. I want you to exist."
When her eyes looked rather surprised, he felt his face grow hot and he added a quick, "You've just been a really great friend, cause you see…well, I haven't really had anyone to talk to like that in a while. I guess my friends can't help but be caught up in the whole possessed by an ultra-cool-ultra-very-not-me spirit from ancient Egypt. But honestly, who'd blame them? I'm rather boring compared to Yami."
Now Yami was by his side, his arms wrapped around him. "Abiou, I was afraid of this." he whispered, as though someone else might hear.
Aleah, however, smiled at him in such a way he thought he could feel his breath catch. He hadn't expected something so soft and kind to come from her, let alone anyone. In that moment he could suddenly understand why she, of all the women Yami had ever met, had caught his attention. Somewhere, deep within her, was someone endlessly kind. Her look lacked pity, it lacked sympathy, and simply held compassion, which left him with his dignity. She sniffed.
"I think you are quite interesting," she pointed at the sandwich, "and I know you got that for me. How do you weird little Japanese kids get money anyways, if you aren't allowed to work and your parents are suppose to be stinges?"
Yugi laughed. "Oh man, you watch way too much anime."
"If it helps you feel any better, Shadi thought we Americans were all porn addicts."
He decided to take a sip of cocoa at the wrong time and chocked on it in attempts to not squirt it out his nose. When he could breathe again, she was laughing.
"Are you?" he gasped.
She rolled her eyes. "Oh yes. Can't keep our eyes away. That's why all of us have just given up on clothes and walk around naked."
"Okay, okay, I get the sarcasm. But I thought you guys were all, well," he blushed, "not into that sort of thing. I don't know what I'm saying, I just don't know where he's getting all that."
"Does it matter? It's still funny."
Yami smiled at the both of them, expression once more alight. He looked down at Yugi, pleased, and vanished once more into the puzzle.
"I take it you're feeling a lot better." said Yugi.
"Somewhat. I still don't want to kill you inadvertently, but…" she rubbed her cheeks hard and sighed, "I guess we really can't know what the future holds until it actually comes to us, huh? And who knows. Maybe Shadi warning me ahead of time is enough."
Yugi smiled at his cocoa. "Yeah. Perhaps."
Whatever the reason…at least she was here, with him.
After than she finally gave in and devoured half of the sandwich, which he learned chicken chipotle was her favorite, which was very close to his turkey love. Once they were both rosy cheeked from laughing and full, he coaxed her back out to get her some dry clothes from a nearby clothing store. She had protested wildly, but he pointed out that his clothes wouldn't fit, and even so she probably wasn't ready to face the frustrated Shadi, who would surely go to Yugi's house to look for her first. So she allowed Yugi to get her some clothes she liked even though they came from the clearance rack. It made him smile how overly aware of price she was, not because of his wallet, but because, apparently, she had grown up with a single mother back in North Dakota. The idea of owning new clothes and not hand-me-downs near frightened her.
With a cheap pair of flip-flops and a raincoat on clearance they were back out in the rain, talking about how busy Japan was, how this rain was endlessly strange, how in America not everyone was fat and loved burgers, and a bit on school.
Now and then Yami would float out and watch, his expression unreadable.
"I wonder why we can talk to each other," she said at some point. "I'm pretty sure I don't know Japanese."
"I don't know, because I'm not too good with my English either." He squinted up at the sky. The rain was shimmering curtains of the neon lights of downtown. "I think we should find out what next, though, it's rather late. I did leave the museum right as it was closing."
"Well, I guess I could always find the warehouse, though I don't know where to even begin to look."
Yugi stopped dead. "You're staying in a warehouse? Please tell me it's one that has heating at least."
"Uh, no. It's an abandoned one, actually. Has some rather, uh, graphic graffiti on the wall and everything."
He winced. "Do you know when this time rift thing is suppose to open?" Though he didn't like thinking about it let alone talking about it.
"He said in a day or so. But I think my biggest problem is just finding that stupid place. Though…" she bit her lip. "I don't really want to meet Shadi just yet. He sorta…"
Yugi waited, but when she made no attempts to finish her sentence he supposed it wasn't important.
"If that's the case, we can always drop by my friend Ryou's house. His apartment complex isn't far from here, and I've stayed at his house a few times already. He lives alone, so he likes the company. He also cooks amazing food."
She looked uncertain. "Are you sure we won't be imposing on him? Shouldn't we call ahead first?"
"Do you have a phone?"
"Uh, no."
A roar filled the air and the earth shuddered beneath them. Several people found the momentum to scream as cars screeched and many lost their footing. Yugi found himself on the ground with a wavering Aleah next to him.
"An earthquake?!" he cried.
But even as he looked on in alarm and terror, the screeching cars were replaced by the whinny of horses, and the squealing of rubber tires with the tattling of wooden wheels. The drivers cried out in alarm as their steering wheels were replaced by reins for horses. The glass panes of the buildings towering above them shuddered before vanishing to be replaced by stone towers and pillars.
Aleah held onto his arms tightly. The two stared on as the very sky itself warped with their surroundings, bleeding streaks of blue across the stormy clouds. A white hot, desert sun peeked out, momentarily blinding them.
Only the spirit hovering next to his host noticed the confused and crazed horses charging their way with a carriage full of two screaming women. Yami reached out for the puzzle.
"Yugi! Look out!"