"You called Marcus?" I ask as confusion washes over me. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised, he just talked about reaching out to his father last night but I am. He usually discusses these things with me before he acts. "When?"
"Can we talk about this upstairs?" he quietly asks, not liking the fact that we have an audience I'm sure.
"Of course," I say. I get up and carefully lay Peanut in one of the pink bouncy seats we brought with us that's sitting in front of the unlit fireplace so she can continue with her nap undisturbed while Tobias very carefully moves Tyler off his lap and lays him down on the couch next to Caleb without waking him. "Can you watch them for us, Mom?" She nods as Tobias takes me by the hand and leads me up the stairs, straight into my childhood bedroom.
"If we're going to have a fight, I thought it would be best if it was done in private," he says, running his hand through his hair. "I don't want to argue in front of your family." I sigh and smile sweetly up at him.
"Our family, Tobias, and we don't have anything to argue about," I say. "I just wish you would have told me you called your father instead of having me find out the way I did. It's difficult enough for me when he just shows up out of the blue uninvited, I really don't want you subjecting me to him unannounced, too." He groans then flops down on the bed.
"I'm so sorry, love," he says, hanging his head. I step between his parted thighs, and he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head in my breasts. I wrap my arms around his neck and thread my fingers into his curls, holding him close and kiss the top of his head. "I called him this morning on my way to the infirmary to see Will, Tori, and Zander. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I know how he makes you feel. I should have told you as soon as I got home but with everything that's happened today … I simply forgot." He looks pained as he confesses his absentmindedness. "I asked if him if we could meet to talk about the serums. I momentarily thought about just having a short phone conversation but we both know he's a world class liar, and I thought it best to see his face while we're talking."
"You're right. In person is better," I say. "I'll come with you."
"No," he says. "You don't have to do that."
"I don't exactly want to subject myself to your father but I'd like to hear what he has to say about the serums myself," I say. He leans back and looks up at me with his soulful blue eyes. I can't help myself, and I lower my lips to his. Pent up frustration and passion explode as our mouths move together fluidly. I pull away before we can get carried away and rest my forehead against his as we let our breathing slow, our panted breaths mingling between us.
"I can't wait for this damn day to be over," he says, tightening one arm around my waist and sliding the other to rest on my backside.
"Me neither," I say. "Shall we get this over with?" I take a step back when he loosens his embrace, allowing him to get up then he follows me downstairs and into the living room. Mom and Caleb look at us expectantly but neither of us comment on our conversation. "Are you alright with the kids, Mom? We need to speak to Marcus about the serums." She looks around the room at the three sleeping children and grins.
"It might be difficult but I think I can manage," she says.
"Thank you so much," I say as I wrap my arms around her and give her a big bear hug. "I can always count on you."
"You're quite welcome, my sweet girl," she says. "You better not keep our guest waiting any longer." The depth of the disgust she feels for her former friend is conveyed in what is meant to be a complimentary word. She hates him but not nearly as much as I do.
"Are you coming?" Tobias asks from the doorway. I nod and follow him through the kitchen and out the backdoor. Mr. Black is sitting on the ground, his face buried in his hands as Ellie lays into him. Tobias saddles up to me and softly says, "They're getting a divorce."
"Doesn't surprise me in the least," I say as we stop in front of my father-in-law. I study his face for a moment before speaking. "Marcus." He's portraying a calm facade but I can sense his nervousness.
"Hello, son, Tris," he says. "It's nice to see you today." I can't bring myself to exchange pleasantries with the man so I hold my tongue. My mother did teach me that if I didn't have anything nice to say that I shouldn't say anything. I feel Tobias' hand slip into mine, and he gives it a comforting little squeeze.
"Thank you for coming over," he says.
"It seems like there's an awful lot going on today," he says as he looks over our shoulders at the scene unfolding behind us. "Do you mind if we take this inside?"
"I'm afraid the kids are asleep, and I don't want to disturb them," Tobias says.
"I'm sure that's not the only reason you don't want me in the house," he says, although not bitterly. I just can't get used to this "new" Marcus Eaton. I still feel strongly that he's playing us.
"You're right," he says. "If we have any chance of making this work … whatever this is, we both need to be completely honest with each other. You're not welcome here, and I should have realized as much before I took it upon myself to invite you over to discuss some business. You can't really expect Tris' parents to forgive what you did to their daughter." Marcus bows his head, just like a good Abnegation is taught to do. He really is playing the part flawlessly these days.
"Can either of you ever forgive me?" he somberly asks.
"Forgive." Tobias tests the word to see how it tastes then shakes his head. "No. You didn't see her in that hospital room when I found her … so lost and confused. You did that. I did, however, decided shortly after that day to let the anger I felt toward you go because I knew that if I hung on to it I would become a shell of a man and end up pushing everyone I love away. So no, I'll never forgive and I'll never forget but I no longer feel like ripping your heart out." Marcus' eyes slide from Tobias' to mine.
"Never."
"I understand both your feelings completely. No amount of apologizing will ever fix what I did. I realize that," he says. "But you called me so what is it that I can do for you?"
"Approximately seven years ago, Jeanine Matthews approached the council with a request to experiment with the death serum," Tobias says. "Do you remember that?"
"I certainly do," he says, crossing his arms across his chest.
"What can you tell us about that time? It's very important." Marcus furrows his brows but whether it is in confusion, concentration, or deception, I don't know.
"Jeanine Matthews petitioned the council to make a new, more effective death serum," he says. "This was long before she began her campaign to discredit Abnegation so I didn't have any reason to distrust her. The other council members and I had lengthy discussions for two to three weeks about whether it would benefit the city or not. In the end, I believe it was my vote that swung the decision in their favor. I don't, however, recall them ever requesting approval for a new serum but now that we know what we do about that faction and that woman, they probably circumvented the system and did as they pleased."
"That's basically what Andrew told us," Tobias says. "There's one thing that's bothering me though. Did you know before you voted yes what kind of experimentation she was planning? It's death serum so I understand that it's dangerous but the concoctions she made were cruel … to the extreme, and now someone is using the very formula to kill people in Dauntless."
"And you think I have something to do with it," he says, defensively. I guess some old habits are hard to break. His sudden change in demeanor puts me on edge. "You don't trust me, I get it, but I never had any kind of alliance with Jeanine Matthews so how could I know what she was planning. From what I've learned about her, she always hated Abnegation and me in particular so I really can't help you with any of this beyond what I've already told you."
"Are you 100% certain she never gave the council any updates?" Tobias asks and his father stiffly nods his head once. "The reason I'm asking is because we learned something very useful from the Erudite researchers. Amity's peace serum has the tendency to counteract the other serums when they're combined. For example, let's say, when someone wants to lie under truth serum."
"Wow," he says. "This conversation needs taken to a more private setting." We look around and all eyes are on us. Apparently seeing Tobias in Abnegation with his father is a sight to behold. We now have onlookers who have no business here, which is supposed to be completely out of character for Abnegation members … too selfish to appear nosy. I can't help but roll my eyes. "Let's take this conversation to my house. It's too delicate to be had in public." He turns, expecting us to follow but I stop him.
"We need to check on the kids and tell my mom where we can be reached so we'll meet you there," I say.
"Okay," he says then marches off in the direction of his house.
"Are you okay with this?" I ask after his father is out of ear shot, knowing full well what the ramifications are of him walking back into that house after three years. I don't want his nightmares to return. He still has them from time to time but subjecting him to the house of horrors could be detrimental but on the other hand, it could be healing.
"I'll be fine," he says, his Four mask already firmly in place.
"Just remember that I'm here for you," I say. His face softens at my comment then we head into the house.
"Did you get everything you needed?" Mom asks.
"Unfortunately not, Natalie," Tobias says. "Tris and I are going to Marcus' place to finish our conversation. We just wanted to check on the kids and let you know what was going on."
"Is Tyler awake yet?" I ask as we pad into the living room.
"No, he's not," she says just as I turn the corner and see him still on the couch where Tobias left him. Suddenly, worry tightens my chest. I kneel in front of him and press my lips to his forehead. It's hard to tell if he's feverish or not so I grab the thermometer out of the diaper bag and warm the tip in my hand before putting it to his ear. When it beeps that it's done, it startles him a bit but he doesn't wake.
"Just as I thought," I say. "He's got a fever. Mom, can you give him a dose of the liquid acetaminophen in the bag if he wakes up before we return? I was afraid Teagan was going to make her brother and sister sick." I check on Tessa and she seems fine for the moment. She's sleeping peacefully in the second pink bouncy seat right next to her sister. When they're this close, it's easy to see their similarities and differences. I kiss each one of them then tell Mom we'll be right back. When we step outside, we notice a change in the typical Abnegation air, and I immediately see the reason. Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo are walking purposefully toward us down the center of the street. The children who are gazing at the clouds spring up and rush into their house, apparently not knowing what to make of our men.
"The prisoner is in the backyard with Tris' father and some of his men," Tobias says to them. "He needs taken to Candor for interrogation, although I haven't had a chance to call them yet and warn them of his impending arrival. Simon, please call Jack Kang and inform him that we have an interrogation that needs to be performed sooner rather than later. Have him give me a call with the time and place."
"Yes, Four," they both say at the same time then we continue on our way.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask as we stand at his father's door. Knowing what he had to endure inside these walls makes me angry and not want to go inside. I can't imagine what he might be feeling. With the exception of the tension along his jawline, he looks fine but I know that's just his protective mask shielding him from showing how he really feels. He doesn't want to show any perceived weakness in public, especially here of all places. I wish I would have known him then so I could have comforted him.
"Not really," he confesses. I run the back of my fingertips down his cheek, and he covers my hand with his. "I didn't think I would ever have to step foot in this house again." I take a deep breath, making up my mind.
"Go back to my parents' house," I firmly say. "I'll take care of this, and I'll let you know what he says.
"Absolutely not," he says. "I appreciate the gesture but do you think I would intentionally leave you alone with him?" His sterile Four look softens and I briefly see my husband standing before me. "I can do this, love. I just need you to stand by my side and I can do anything?"
"Anything?" I ask, wanting to lighten the mood. "Even go to the top of the Hancock Building and zipline with me?" He pales a little at my question but he doesn't lose his warm smile. "Kidding. I love you. And I know that you can do anything if you put your mind to it."
"I love you, too," he says as he knocks on his father's door. Within seconds he opens it and invites us inside.
"Come in," he says. When I walk through the door, I'm struck with how similar it is to my parent's house, although it's smaller if I'm not mistaken, and its simple decor makes it seem cold and drab instead of warm and welcoming. It must be the occupant. I look up at Tobias and am struck at how stiff and formal he seems at the moment, no doubt trying to not react to the small closet next to us. "Let's go into the kitchen. I made a fresh pot of coffee. I'm afraid I don't have anything else to offer."
"That's fine," Tobias gruffly says. We follow behind Marcus into the sun-filled room, which does absolutely nothing to brighten up the space. The shadows of an earlier, darker time are etched into the walls' memory. We sit side-by-side at the small table, our knees touching, and our fingers laced together. His father pours us each a cup of coffee then sits down opposite us.
"I'm sorry I lost my temper earlier. I know it'll take time for you to trust me but I've been trying very hard to make amends, and it's frustrating that you think I'm still plotting against you. I won't go as far as to say I will never hurt you because I've already hurt you both so much but I'm doing everything within my power to turn over a new leaf. I'm willing to meet you half way but you have to be willing to take the chance on me. I thought you were willing to do that."
"I thought I was but now that I'm back in this house, sitting here feeling exactly how I felt for all those years, I'm not so sure," Tobias says. He leans forward and rests his free hand on the table. "I need honest answers from you, and I need you to understand why they're being asked."
"Go on," he says.
"Are you Divergent?"
"That is exactly why I asked for you to come over," he says. "Yes, I'm Divergent … just like you and just like Tris."
"I'm not," I say, feeling a strong need to protect my secret but he interrupts me.
"I thought we were trying to build this relationship on honesty," he says, his voice dripping with disappointment. I clutch Tobias' hand tighter, and he grimaces so only I can hear him. "I know what divergence looks like. I've lived with it my entire life. I think I recognized it in you before your father did."
"You talked about me?" I ask, stunned.
"Yes. You and Tobi … I'm sorry, you and Four were the subject of many of our conversations, Caleb, too. I confided in him shortly before your Choosing Ceremony," he looks at Tobias, "that I believed you were Divergent and that I saw some of the same traits in Beatrice. A few days later he confided in me that he thought I was right."
"Did you use a combined serum to be able to lie during your interrogation after Tris' kidnapping?"
"Did you use a serum when you went under truth serum?" he asks, looking directly at me.
"You didn't answer the question," Tobias says, getting frustrated with his father.
"No. I've been able to lie, with some effort, during truth serum interrogations my entire life," he says. "I'm not sure why. I thought I was the only one until Tris denied that both of you are Divergent under truth serum. I was floored. I guess we're more alike than you are willing to admit." I want to argue because I feel like he's trying to bait me for some reason or maybe it's just lack of sleep catching up with me. Either way I keep my mouth shut.
"Do you know what Jeanine was planning on doing with the Frankenstein Serum?" Tobias asks. I'm surprised Marcus doesn't question my father's nickname for Jeanine's creation but then again he's probably heard it before.
"I can only tell you what she told the council," he say. "If I remember correctly, she said that the death serum wasn't as effective as it could be. She explained that it was taking too long to kill humanely, that she wanted to streamline it. She also explained that with a few tweaks death serum could be weaponized to target specific DNA sequences in case war was ever to break out again. It could be aerosolized and released, only killing the specific targets, leaving everyone else unharmed." Silence envelopes the room as we let that sink in.
"DNA targeting?" Tobias mutters then his head pops up. "Could she have been trying to figure out a way to eradicate the Divergent population from the city by targeting our DNA under the rouse of 'experimenting with the death serum'?"
"It's possible except for one thing, there is no specific Divergent DNA sequence to target. The theory has been tested again and again for over 200 years according to our history books. No one knows what makes us different but it isn't DNA and it isn't a specific gene."
"I have a theory that everyone is actually Divergent to a certain degree," I say. He looks at me skeptically. "Think about it. Just this afternoon at my parents' house there were several onlookers, gawking at what was going on because they were curious. I was raised being told not to be too curious about things because that was selfish. Being curious is a trait expressed only by the Erudite. I would bet you money that there are still several Abnegation members over there just because they are dying to hear a snippet of information, witness Ellie do a beat down on Ethan, or see you two together and not at each other's throats inside the faction for the first time in years."
"I concede that fact," he slowly says. "You're right. We do have varying degrees of each faction in us but I don't think the city is ready to hear that yet."
"Both you and Andrew said the vote was basically 50/50 until your vote gave her the go ahead," Tobias says. "Why did you think it was a good idea for the experimentation to be done?"
"She was very passionate about that project," he says, a faraway look on his face. "Her plans were detailed, meticulous. She thoughtfully answered every question posed to her. She never lost control. There wasn't even a glimpse of the tyrant she became. Looking back, knowing what I know now, I probably still would have voted to let the experimenting commence. She was that charming and persuasive."
"I can't believe that something that woman did nearly a decade ago is coming back to bite us in the ass more than a year after her death," I mutter under my breath. "Didn't you find it strange that she sought the council's approval on her own?"
"She wasn't alone," he says. "Do you remember David Benz, her predecessor?" We nod, although I barely remember him. He died when I was quite young, some sort of accident. "He was present at every meeting we had, although he was absent for the final vote."
"I don't think my father was aware of that, and our source from Erudite didn't mention it either," I say. "That's strange. Who else attended these meetings, if you don't mind me asking?" Maybe there are others we can talk to and get their take.
"Not at all. Jonah Thompson, Ethan Black, Jeanine, David, and myself," he says. "Jeanine gave a presentation then the five of us would discuss in detail what we learned. After the Erudite representatives left, we would gather the remaining council members and debate the issue. I would relay the information Jeanine gave us, Jonah voiced the cons side of the argument, and Ethan voiced the pros. After listening to all the information and carefully weighing the pros and cons, we held the vote." Sounds straightforward, although hearing that Ethan had direct knowledge of this serum troubles me. We know he's directly connected to the bitch but we don't know for certain that he has anything to do with Molly's plan. I can't wait for his interrogation.
"Do you trust Ethan Black?" Tobias asks. We really do make a great couple. He seems to have the exact same thoughts about Mr. Black running through his mind that I do.
"Not anymore," he says. "Not since I found out about him and your mother. I thought we were friends but he was sleeping with my wife behind my back. Not that I didn't push her straight into his arms." Emotion chokes him up as he talks about Evelyn. I'll admit I've never seen this side of him. From what Tobias has told me, he had no love for that woman.
"Would he have communicated with Jeanine behind your back?" I ask.
"I wouldn't doubt it," he says.
"Maybe it wasn't Jeanine he was in contact with," I say, thinking out loud. I regret it immediately. I didn't mean for it to slip out.
"What?" Tobias says.
"Nothing," I say. I really don't want to give my entire theory to Marcus in case he is playing us. I finish my cup of coffee and Marcus offers more but I politely decline. We're all quiet for a while. I mull over our conversation, looking for hidden meanings or any forms of deception but I think he's being candid. I still don't know what to make of his transformation. The one thing I am certain of is I just don't trust him.
"Do you mind if I show Tris around the house?" Tobias asks, surprising me. I thought he would want to get as far away from the bad memories as possible instead of sticking around and giving me a tour of his hellish childhood.
"Not at all," Marcus says. "I still think of this as your home, too." Tobias visibly tenses when he hears this. I think all three of us know that this was never a home. "Take your time. If you'd like, supper is in the oven and you're more than welcome to stay."
"Thanks for the offer but we have previous obligations this evening, and we'll have to be getting back to Dauntless soon." I think I do a good job of hiding my surprise because I'm almost positive that we have nothing going on tonight, here or at home.
"Maybe next time," he says. Tobias slams the rest of his coffee down then we get up. He takes me by the hand and leads me down a short hallway to the living room.
"This is the living room," he says. There's a small stone fireplace built only for warmth in the late fall, winter, and early spring along the far wall. Its mantle is bare, begging the question, why a mantle at all? There's a drab gray colored, compact, thread-bare couch and a single recliner, which actually looks newer. On the small plain wooden table between the two is a single lamp that I'm sure casts only enough light for Marcus to have read work files, when he worked. I honestly can't imagine living the solitude life he lives, a life devoid of family and friends, of true happiness. If I don't stop that train of thought, I might actually start to feel sorry for him. So I look up at Tobias and study his face as he looks at every surface in the room. I can't tell what kind of memories this room holds for him or if it does. He sighs then leads me back the way we came and up the stairs. I was right about this house being smaller than my parents'. The second floor only has three rooms: Marcus' bedroom, the solitary bathroom, and Tobias' old room.
"This was my room," he says as he pauses with his hand on the doorknob, looking over his shoulder at me. He takes a deep breath then turns the knob, opening the door, which squeaks in protest. He steps aside and lets me go inside then closes the door behind us. My eyes take in the room Tobias spent the majority of his life in so far, and I get a sense of the lonely boy my Tobias was. There's a small bed in one corner of the room fitted with typical Abnegation linens. I run my fingers over the gray sheets and thin gray blanket as I walk past the bed to the small dresser sitting underneath the high window. Unfortunately it does little to illuminate the sparse room or give its occupant the luxury of staring out of it as an escape. A tower of school books I recognize from my final year at upper levels sits on top of his gray-stained plywood desk right next to a pile of schoolwork. I pick up the sheets and admire his handiwork. My Tobias was a very bright student. Right next to the desk is a bookshelf but unlike at home, it's not lined with books, precious momentous, and irreplaceable photos. As a matter of fact, it sits empty, a sterile reminder of our upbringing. The one thing that stands out in this picture perfect Abnegation room is the blue glass sculpture sitting in the middle of his desk that he told me about, the one his mother smuggled into Abnegation and gave to him when he was a child. I pick it up and turn it around in my hands, admiring it. It really is beautiful and unlike any piece of art I've ever seen. It reminds me of water cascading over rocks in the calmer part of the raging river in the chasm.
"Do you know where she got it?" I ask as I sit it back down on the desk.
"No," he says. "She just gave it to me one day out of the blue. I asked what it did and she told me nothing obvious but that it might make me feel good here." He places his right hand atop my left breast, and my heart rate picks up. I expect him to move it but he doesn't. I stare up into his eyes as his gaze burns into me. "She was right. It taught me to look for the beauty in objects that wouldn't normally be considered beautiful: A dented tin button torn from a wool coat, a few stray threads still adhered to it; an old pair of bent eyeglass frames without the lens, missing one of the arms; a discarded key to a lock long forgotten; a rusted knife blade long missing its handle." With each word, he massages the flesh beneath his hand and my breathing becomes rough and labored.
"Tobias, we really shouldn't be doing this," I moan, as he steps closer and puts his mouth on my neck but my refusal sounds weak even to my ears.
"You don't mean that," he says as he kisses his way up to my ear. His arms circle my waist and pull me up against him, and I can't help but feel his hard arousal pressing into my soft skin.
"Yes, I do," I moan, although I unthinkingly move my head to give him better access to my neck making him chuckle. He kisses all around my left ear then sticks the tip of his tongue in the canal causing my entire body to shudder with desire as his hands travel up and down my back. As much as I want him inside me in this very moment, that's how much I don't want to be caught by his father. I may not like the man but having sex in his house is a line we shouldn't cross. It's disrespectful. "This is a bad idea."
"Love, stop thinking," he says. "We want each other. We need each other. And I honestly don't think I can talk myself out of it for a second time." He grinds his hips into mine, and we both groan. He's so hard. His mouth lands on mine, and this primordial need we're feeling is palpable, pulsating with a life of its own that's gaining strength by the second. Our lips, tongues, and hands move together as one.
"We can't do this, not here," I pant against his lips. I'm dangerously close to losing all semblance of control and letting my husband make love to me in his boyhood room with his father downstairs. When he slips his hand down the front of my pants, into my panties, and finds my aching sex with his rough to the touch yet gentle fingers, I know I'm fighting a losing battle.
"We can mark off a place on both our lists," he murmurs breathily against my ear as he increases the pressure on my nubbin. I cling to him so I won't collapse to the floor. "Just think of this as Abnegation, not my father's house."
"Yes, yes, God, yes! Just put it in me now," I say louder than I mean to.
"Ssh, love," he says against my ear. "We have to be really quiet." He gives me another swift kiss that's full of passion and promise then removes his hand from my panties. He abruptly turns me around and pushes me forward until my hands land on the front of his desk. He pulls my yoga pants and boy shorts down to mid-thigh then pushes my legs apart with his as he undoes his pants and frees himself. He blankets my body with his and fills me fully with one powerful thrust. I bite down on my lip to keep from crying out but it doesn't silence me so he turns my head and captures my mouth with his to muffle the escaping moans. He's still for a moment, letting me get used to his size but we know we can't linger. "Ready, love?" His gravelly voice and the forbidden nature of the interlude do something to me.
"God, yes," I moan. "I need you now, baby." We waste no time finding our rhythm. He drives into me, fast and frantic … nearly bordering on brutal as I push back against him just as hard, wanting … needing him to soothe the pulsating ache deep inside. The only sound in the room is our heavy breathing and bodies pounding together forcefully. His stride changes and I know he's close but I'm not there. I concentrate on our bodies, our frenzied coupling but I'm still racing to catch up with him. I slide my hand down between my thighs and find my nubbin. I close my eyes and block everything else out except for me and Tobias as I glide my fingertips roughly over the sensitive little button. I feel a powerful explosion building where he's repeatedly thrusting himself into my body. I rub a little harder on the sensitive bundle of nerves, searching, seeking and then it hits, an eruption unlike any I've had before. I call out but it's once again captured by his mouth. Thank God one of us can still think. My body shakes and shudders around his as he continues pounding into me until he finds his release and explodes, shooting his life giving seed deep inside of me again and again. When we are physically drained, we collapse onto his desk. Thankfully, we don't make any noise and the old desk holds our weight. Once our breathing returns to normal, he pulls out of me, leaving me feeling empty as usual. We straighten up and he puts himself away while I pull my boy shorts and pants back into place. He sits in the desk chair and pulls me into his lap. He wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his face in my neck. He's much calmer than he's been since we stepped foot in Abnegation today. "Is it still hard?"
"No, love, we took care of that?" he says, humor audible in his voice and I roll my eyes at him. "Although, you know how I feel about you. I imagine you'll have me hard again before the day is done. It seems like you always have me hard and wanting." I give him a deep kiss, exploring his mouth with my tongue until we both groan.
"No, smart ass, that's not what I was asking," I breathlessly say. I run my thumb over his lips and he kisses it. "Is it still difficult to come to Abnegation?" His smile slowly fades and is replaced by a serious expression.
"This isn't my favorite place in the world," he says. "If it weren't for bringing the kids to see their grandparents I wouldn't step foot in this faction."
"I'm sorry," I say. "How is it that you seem to be fine sitting here in this house of all places right now?"
"Don't let me fool you," he says. "This is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Look at this place. It seems normal enough but my very last memories of this room were my father's rage, a merciless beating, a restless night, and an act of defiance."
"An act of defiance? What do you mean?" I ask. The others are self-explanatory.
"This statue," he says picking up the delicate blue glass and holding it in his hand. "I could have taken it with me. A small reminder of a rare happy moment with my mother but instead I left it behind as a sort of 'screw you' to the man who made this house feel like a prison instead of a home." He carefully deposits it back where it was. "I was disappointed to see it sitting exactly where I left it. If he'd have seen it, he would have destroyed it just like he destroyed anything good in my life … until you and he tried to take you away from me." My eyes scan the small, unassuming room and something dawns on me.
"I think you're wrong about some of that," I say. He looks confused. "Look around, Tobias. There isn't a speck of dirt on a single surface. After three years undisturbed, this room should be caked with dust. As you very well know, Abnegation do their own house work. It would be considered highly selfish not to. No, he saw that statue and for whatever reason, he left it there."
"Why do you do that?" he asks. His face is suspiciously blank, making me wonder what I said that upset him.
"What do you mean?" I slowly ask, genuinely confused.
"You hate that man and rightfully so," he says and then he sighs. "Yet, lately, you end up playing peacemaker. Why?"
"That's easy," I say. "I love you, Tobias Eaton, and I want you to be happy. I could care less if Marcus is telling the truth about changing. If he changes, great. More power to him. If he doesn't change, that's fine, too. It won't bother me one way or another because I refuse to trust that man … ever." I cup his face between my palms and give him a quick tender kiss. "But he's your father, and I know without a doubt, because I know you so well, that deep in your heart," I lay my hand on his chest, "you love that imperfect man, and you want him to change. I also know that you battle with yourself whether to trust him or not because you've been disappointed by him in the past. I guess I play devil's advocate to make sure you are seeing all sides of the story, so to speak, so you can make an informed decision. I just want you happy."
"It would be so much easier if I could just walk away from him and never look back," he says. I won't argue with that. "But something won't let me, and that same something won't let me trust him either. It's quite infuriating."
"I don't want to see you hurt, baby. If you hurt, I hurt. It's that simple," I say. Silence stretches between us as I try to figure out how to word what it is I want to say. "If you trust him and he betrays you, it has the potential to destroy you. Yet, wanting to trust but constantly holding back and second guessing your decisions can't be easy either. It has the potential to damage your psyche. When it comes to your father, I won't give my opinion anymore on what I think you should do. I just want you happy. That's all I've ever wanted but only you can decide what brings you happiness." He presses his lips to mine, and I can feel his love and devotion with each stroke of his tongue. We keep the pace leisurely in hopes of not losing control again.
"You are my happiness," he says. "Take you away and I have nothing … I am nothing." I shift on his lap and he frowns. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"Not at all," I say. "But we really shouldn't have done that here."
"Do you know why I wanted to make love to you here?" I shake my head, and he smiles brightly at me. "Now I have one good memory in this house. I love you, my Six."
"I love you more," I say.
"Not possible," he says then raises his lips to mine but he pulls away too soon. "We better get back to your parents'. I'm surprised they haven't sent a search party out by now." I start to get up but he won't release his grip on me. "Thank you … for loving me, for caring deeply about things that matter to me. Thanks for standing behind my decisions, for walking through this life beside me as my partner, my wife, my lover, and my best friend, and taking the reins and leading when you need too. I couldn't do half the things I do if it weren't for you. I love you."
"I know and I love you, too," I say. After a final kiss, he lets me go and we descend the stairs. I covertly study Marcus' face when we enter the living room but he only seems tired. I don't think he knows what we were up to.
"Tris and I need to be going," Tobias says. A strange expression transforms Marcus' face and I glance in the direction he's looking. Tobias has the statue in his hand.
"Where did you get that?"
"Evelyn gave it to me before she left us," Tobias says. "I left it here but I want it back now."
"I wondered where it came from," he says.
"You do know about it." I see. This was a test.
"I had a bad night a few months back," he says. "I finally went into your room after nearly three years. I wanted to think and the rest of the house was suffocating so I found myself at your door. I walked in and sat on your bed. A single beam of moonlight was coming through the window, casting a spotlight on it. To say I was angry is an understatement. I kept thinking, 'How dare he have something so self-indulgent in my house.' I marched over to it, picked it up, and as I was getting ready to shatter it against the wall, something stopped me. I still have no idea what exactly stopped me but in the back of my mind I knew that little piece of glass was important to you and for that very reason, I couldn't destroy it. I set it back down and left."
"Thank you," Tobias says, his voice taking on an odd ring. "It is special. I would have hated to learn it was gone forever. We really need to head back to the Prior's. I'm sure the kids are awake by now. Thanks for the information. It was very useful." We say our goodbyes then he takes me by the hand and hurries me out the door and up the walkway.