Chapter 4

The Doctor sat brooding on a stool with some sort of fruity drink in front of him, it was a mixture of local spirits that he had no desire to drink. He looked about the cabana, it was quiet as the moons were quite high indicating the hour to be quite late. There were a few beachgoers and revelers drifting amongst the paths, an odd mix of species ghosting from place to place.

His fingers were tapping on the bar top and his toes were tapping out the same rhythm, the fast four beat staccato over and over again without even being aware of the sound. He sighed as he wondered just how long the Tardis would make him stay here, demanding he relax when every moment was only winding him tighter and tighter. Time was irrelevant to him, though he alone in all the universe was aware of its tedious passage. He could go anywhere, anywhen and yet here he sat, marooned by a slightly half mad box in a misplaced attempt to cheer him up. If he hadn't been so agitated he would have appreciated the gesture for what it was.

But his moral compass was completely shattered now, right and wrong were blurring for him and the laws that he had held himself to so strictly before and since the war were all falling apart. He had already tried to destroy a fixed point in time just to show that he could, that he was the last of the Time Lords and that he had control when truly it was he who was used and tossed about the universe like so much flotsam.

Sighing as his mind travelled back to that mars colony once again and the power drunk euphoria that had screamed through him as he had decried three lives would be saved, they would not die that day and damn the timeline and future. For once, he was going to save those he meant to save and not destroy them as he always invariably ended up doing. Growling at the realization of that dark path he was falling headlong down, the universe had still wrested that decision from him, it had accounted for his arrogance and making sure the timeline remained intact.

The sheer animal fury that had descended over him as he realized that in the end nothing he did really mattered, had frightened even the Tardis. It was she that had brought him back to Chiswick, back to his usual spot where Wilf had taken one look at him and settled him down with a nice warm cuppa in his little news stand.

That conversation had grounded him as Wilf asked what had happened.

"I went mad Wilf. I tried to change something that can not ever be changed, I believed that I was the sole power over time and I tried to change the history of the universe." Snorting at himself as he took a sip of his tea, looking at Wilf's old wise eyes over the brim he could barely contain the tears that burned behind his eyes. Shaking his head, the Doctor brought his cup to his lips and let the warm tea soothe him at least a bit.

"Doctor, you're hurting and you're in pain and lashing out. Now, you have told me some about this war you went through before. I've seen war, I've seen the hurts it leaves on men and the rage sometimes has to come out or it will kill you."

At that, the Doctor just laughed sardonically. "You're saying I'm shell shocked?" He cocked his head as he thought about that. "Its been years and years since I ended it, and this was not a war like you've ever seen."

"War is war, boy. And you've never really faced the pain of the choices you had to make, have you?"

And just like that, Wilf cut through all the glib humor, witty chatter and all the shields in place to the heart of the matter. A man one tenth his age, with the wisdom of the ancients.

Shaking his head he responded, "No Wilf, I guess I haven't. I ran from it before, ran hard and fast. You're right, I guess I was completely shell shocked, reeling across time and space from catastrophe to catastrophe but the anger was always there dangerously close to the surface." Sighing as he took another bracing sip of tea, he then met Wilf's eyes and murmured. "The war ended because of me, I was the one who doomed my people and made sure that it wouldn't spread to engulf the universe." Wilf sighed as he heard those words, he had had a feeling that the Doctor's actions were bad; he had however never realized the absolute enormity of the decision that had been forced on the Doctor. Wilf however didn't say anything, but knowing that this was something he had to get out and for once he was able to be there for him. "This time around, it felt like the armor was a little bit thicker. I got younger, with a devilish wit that I used as keenly as a knife." Wilf covered his mouth at the self-aggrandizing comment but wisely said nothing.

"When it comes down to it, I was still running. Still am running with no guide and now I'm adrift and I'm dangerous. Not just to myself, but to the universe and I'm just afraid that I no longer care." The last was said with a long defeated sigh as he finally looked up at Wilf, half expecting to see loathing in his eyes.

He had not been expected to be met with tears. "You need to see my Donna, don't you? Even though you said it would kill her if you did."

The Doctor shook his head violently at that. "No, I can't. I can't risk it, can't risk the universe being empty without her, selfish as that is"

With those words, Wilf just nodded as he had the answer he needed. The danger now was in letting the Doctor, mad alien that he was, continue on as he was. "She goes to the park on her days off to read, says it takes her mind off of things. Go see her, you're the Time Lord, I'm sure you can figure out how to make sure she doesn't see you."

And that was how he had ended up on that park bench, staring in agony at Donna and screaming in his own mind at being forever locked away with only stolen glimpses to make sure that she was all right.

Shaking his head to clear the memory, he winced at a sudden stab of pain in his head and a brief glimpse of white and gold burning light before flashing back to himself, and staring in horror at the fingers that couldn't stop that staccato tapping.

"No! No no no!" It was impossible, but the brief touch of pain ended with a scream that he recognized only all too well.

Nearly falling over himself as he tried to get up from the tall seat, he set off back down the path at a dead run scattering tourists and locals with only half yelled apologies in his wake. There was no way! He had not regenerated. He had chosen to die, how was this possible? Was he finally going mad?

Rounding the curve in the path, the Tardis came in to view the doors already wide open and waiting for him as she had sensed the touch and knew instantly that it was time to run once more.

"We have to make sure, Girl! We have to make sure before we go barreling through the universe on a wild goose chase." He panted as he threw the controls to take the Tardis back to Chiswick, even as Donna screamed his name one last time before fading completely away as the barriers were once more smoothed in place.

The dread in his hearts was unmistakable as he tried not to think that the Master really did have Donna Noble.

The whirring of the Tardis engines materializing echoed down the street, making Wilf look up with a huge smile on his face. He put the paper that he had been reading down, and climbed to his feet as the familiar blue box full formed next to his news stand.

He was definitely going to have words with the two of them, running off for a week without even letting him know that everything had finally been sorted out. He knew he couldn't stay angry at them long though, because anything to have his Donna back the way she had been with the Doctor was well worth it.

The doors flew open and the Doctor barreled out, his usually unkempt hair even more disheveled then normal as his slightly wild eyes found Wilf. Wilf kept waiting for that voice to cry Grandad as she would emerge from the blue box, but when it didn't he turned back to the Doctor and saw the truth in his haggard, haunted eyes.

His hand flew to his mouth as the Doctor ran to him, shaking his head even as the Doctor opened his mouth.

"Please tell me Donna is here and safe. Please tell me, she's at work or shopping or something." His soul was screaming even before he saw Wilf shaking his head, the tears springing uncontrollably into the old man's eyes as he cried out.

"Where is she? When did you last see her?" The Doctor grabbed Wilf into a tight hug even as he was trying to keep him together enough to get some answers out of him.

"The day you were here last, about a week gone since. I just assumed that you had figured out a way to fix her and taken her with you. Oh Sylvia has been in a right fit state, ranting and raving about you dropping her off then stealing her away again." He rambled somewhat helplessly, uncertain about the echoing pain in his heart as he thought of his only granddaughter gone for days and he had done nothing to find her just went on thinking she had gone off again as she had done many times before.

The Doctor winced at his words, his breath catching as he realized how long it had been. 7 days. 7 fucking days! While the Tardis had bent his perception of time, trying to shield him from his own agony in a misguided attempt to help him feel better. He would have words with her, she was not usually so oblivious to the goings on around them, but then this was the Master they were dealing with here. Another Time Lord, well versed in the ways of cloaking his movements through time and space until the events came to a head in such a way that there was no hiding them anymore. What ghastly plan did he have this time? And why couldn't he sense any of it here on earth? He had checked, there were no strange occurrences in recent months. No unlikely rise to power of anyone, the world was as he had left it for once. So what was it and where in the universe had the Master gone to?

Wilf pushed him away with a grunt, swiping angrily at his eyes as he all but demanded. "You will find her won't you? You'll find my Donna and bring her home?"

The Doctor looked at him, feeling a surge of affection warm the gnawing ache in his chest. For a moment, the barriers fall away and Wilf saw the screaming anguish that spanned centuries. A Time Lord's sorrow and rage and resolute determination seeming to burn through his skin for a brief moment where, to Wilf's eyes, he seemed to burn brighter than the sun, before it faded once more. He clapped his hands to his mouth at that rare glimpse into the true nature of this strange alien being before him, the all-consuming rage and pain were still present but they were suddenly tempered with a purpose and that purpose was now what was driving him. "Oh yes, Wilf. Yes, no matter where in time or space she is, I WILL find her and I will bring her back. I will bring ALL of her back. THIS I promise."

Unable to help himself, Wilf grabbed the Doctor in one more tight hug before he nodded in reply. " I know you will. Now go Doctor! She never came home from the park that day I sent you there. Now go, and bring back my Donna!"

The Doctor didn't even wait for him to finish that sentence before he dashed off back into his blue box and the whine of its engines carried on the breeze before vanishing entirely.

Wilf fell back into his little folding chair, wondering how he was going to tell Sylvia that Donna truly was missing.

The park was unusually empty this morning as the Tardis materialized right next to the park bench that Donna had been sitting on that fateful day. The Doctor, with sonic in hand and a purpose driving him for the first time in months, stepped out of the door and knelt beside the bench to begin scanning for anything that might be amiss. His eye momentarily caught a flicker of movement from the top of the bench and he reached up trembling fingers as the red gold hair was caught in a crack in the paint, fluttering still in the wind almost as if it was clinging there as a reminder to the Doctor of the woman who had been sitting there a few days earlier. He reached up, gently twining his finger through the strand as memories screamed through him once more of the scent of her hair as she would bounce past him towards the Door of the Tardis always excited and a little nervous as to what waited beyond those doors. "Gah, I've been such a bloody IDIOT!" He cried out, even as he reverently plucked the strand from the bench and laid it into a kerchief that he plucked from his voluminous pockets, before wrapping it up and carefully depositing it back in his front breast pocket. How could he have been so blind to everything, even to himself? Well, he knew he was a bit thick at times but his stupid Genius Time Lord brain had been completely clueless to how his feelings for Donna had changed during their time together. How he had come to look forward to the sparkle in her eyes as the Tardis would arrive at its next stop on its wondrous journey through time and space. She would always forget to check the weather circuits before dashing outside, sometimes it would be fine and others she would have to dash back in to find more suitable attire. Her laughter though had always been infectious, even when she was laughing and teasing him mercilessly. All too quickly, that chance had been stolen from him and then he had been cast adrift in a sea of rage and sorrow.

Twiddling with a few settings on the sonic, he turned it back to the bench and the surrounding area, following the faint imprint of what had happened that day until he walked a few steps down the path and was suddenly accosted with the faint tang of ozone. "Hold on, what have we here?" He asked no one in particular, even as he fumbled his glasses out of his pocket and knelt on the ground right before a faintly shimmering swath of air. He squinted even as he licked his finger and carefully passed it through the shimmer, before popping the finger in to his mouth where he experimentally rolled the taste on his tongue.

It wasn't ozone per se, but that was what it felt like. That strange acrid burn after a bolt of lightning strikes too close for comfort, but more than that he felt the reverberations of a time manipulation within that shimmer. The sonic had illuminated it, almost like it was a ghost of an echo and it was fading fast. If he had been even a few days later, all traces would have been gone.

Leaping to his feet with a cry, and spinning on his heel, he dashed back to the Tardis and screamed. "We've got him now!"

Throwing the levers and dialing nodes from instinct more than anything, he analyzed that faint telltale whiff and laughed maniacally as the ship caught the trail and shuddered as she dematerialized.

Falling back into the jumpseat as the ship was on its way at last, his head fell back against the headrest as he thought once more of Donna and how in the world he was going to save her this time. Not just from the Master, but from himself as well?

Reaching out along the bond that had existed between them since the metacrisis, he brushed his fingers against the walls he had built, for once unable to get even a faint focus on her direction.

"I'm coming for you Donna." The words echoed through the vortex as the Tardis barreled towards its destination.