There's no one here but me and the kids? Impossible! I just put two bullets in the chest of that worthless piece of shit, Drew Boyd. You don't just get up and walk away from an injury like that. I pick up the girls' car seats and have Tyler walk ahead of me to the end of the car but have him stay where he can't see any of the carnage. I look at the wall behind the car expecting it to be smeared with blood but even in the dim light I can tell it's clean; however, there is a tiny blood pool on the ground and a trail leading away from the scene, deeper into the garage.
"Do you see that?" I ask Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo, pointing at the blood droplets and they both nod. "Follow that. Find Drew Boyd and arrest him then get him some medical attention. I shot him … twice." I would have emptied the gun if I'd have known that the act would make Molly and Olivia run off. "I also need your men to locate and arrest Molly Atwood and Olivia Nelson. They were just here so they couldn't have gotten very far. I also want Lauren Jones taken into custody. I have no direct evidence yet of her involvement in tonight's attack but she'll need questioned anyway. Once they are in custody, immediately take them to Candor for interrogation." I lower my voice so Tyler can't hear. "They tried to kill Four." Both of their eyes widen at the news but I get no other reaction. Typical Dauntless not wanting to show any perceived weakness. I don't know if they model themselves after Tobias or if it's the other way around.
"Are you okay to walk the kids to the infirmary on your own?" Purple-Hair asks.
"Yes. We'll be fine," I say. "It's more important to make those arrests. Go, please."
"Yes, Tris," they say in unison then turn and follow the trail of blood that will lead directly to Drew. He can't be far away.
"Come on," I say to Tyler. He walks in front of me on the way to the infirmary, his little legs moving as fast as they can carry him but it still feels like we're crawling. I practice my deep breathing exercises, trying to calm myself. I know it's not his fault, and I don't want to take my frustration out on him but I need to get to Tobias.
"Tris?" Zeke calls out as he and Uriah come jogging up to me. "What happened?" They each take a car seat from me, and I pick up Tyler who clings to my frame for dear life.
"Molly is what happened," I quietly say as we rush to the infirmary. "I'll explain it fully when we don't have little ears listening." They both nod in understanding, and the rest of the frantic trip is made in silence.
I waste no time pausing at the intake desk to deal with the unfamiliar looking nurse who is probably a fill-in from another faction after we rush into the infirmary waiting room. I make a mental note that we need additional Dauntless staff here in the infirmary. I hear her call out as we hurry through the double doors. I go straight into the now very familiar examination room across from where Zander and his team are working diligently to stabilize Tobias. Will and Christina are already there waiting for me. I set Tyler on his feet, and she practically tackles me in a hug. I cling to her and let a few frightened tears escape then pull myself together. I have to be strong right now for my husband and children. I can break down later.
"Tris, I think you need a doctor yourself," she says as she stands back looking at me. "You have blood everywhere." She looks at something on my hip. "Is that glass?" I glance where she's pointing and see a rather large piece of glass protruding from my hip, which actually makes my stomach turn but I feel nothing. I'll never feel anything again if he doesn't pull through. No, you can't allow yourself to think that way, Tris. He's Divergent. He can beat this. He will beat this. "I'll go tell the nurse at the front desk that you have some injuries that need looking at then you need to tell us what happened."
"Not until Avery and Callen get here to watch the kids," I quietly yet forcefully say. "I'm not talking about this in front of them. They've been traumatized enough for one night, especially Tyler."
"I understand. You don't have to talk about it in front of him," she says. "I'll be right back." She motions for Will to follow her then walks out of the room. I look down at Tyler when I hear him sniffling and see silent tears once again rolling down his face. My poor boy. I pick him up and hold him tightly as I sit down on the cold, metal chair next to the bed, the girls' car seats at my feet. I wrap my arms around him and kiss his head as he clings to me.
"Avery and Callen will be here soon to sit with you and your sisters while Mommy has her ouchies looked at," I say. "I won't be far, and if you need me for anything you just tell Avery or Callen, and I'll come see you as soon as I can. A bad man and woman hurt Daddy, and I need to make sure that everyone is looking for them and the people who helped them."
"Don't go," he whines.
"I don't want to leave you, I don't," I kiss his head, "but sometimes grownups have to do things they don't want to do so I need you to do me a favor, okay? Be a big boy and look after your sisters. I only have the strength to worry about one thing right now and that's catching the people who did this to Daddy."
"Otay," he says. "I be big boy and help."
"Thank you," I say. "Can I have a kiss?" He lifts his chin and his puckered lips meet mine. "I love you so much, Tyler."
"Love you, Mommy," he says. I hold him in a death grip until he signals that my embrace is too tight. After a few minutes, Tessa starts whining from her seat, triggering Teagan's cries. They hate being strapped in their car seats any longer than absolutely necessary. They'd rather be free. I'm surprised that it's taken this long for them to complain. I slip down to the floor with Tyler still in my lap and unbuckle my girls. Tessa tries to sit up and almost falls out of her seat head first so I pick her up and sit her on the floor. Tyler gets up off my lap and starts digging through the diaper bag. I'm about to ask what he's looking for when he pulls out her purple butterfly.
"You want you toy, Tess?" he asks as he hands it to her. A small smile lifts my lips, thankful that they have such a strong bond. I pick Peanut up and hold her close to my chest. I close my eyes and block everything out that's happening. I concentrate on my treasured son and daughter who are sitting on the floor right in front of me playing with a plastic tether and the precious infant in my arms. I want to tell them that everything will be okay, that Daddy will be home in a couple days and we'll be back to normal in no time but I don't want them to hate me forever if that turns out not to be the case.
"Tris?" Isobel softly says from right in front of me. I force myself to open my eyes and face the grim reality. I see my friend squatting down right in front of me, concern on her face.
"Have you heard anything?" I ask, eager to know something, anything.
"Not yet," she says apologetically. "I need to look at your cuts. We don't want them getting infected."
"Okay," I say. "But not here though. I don't want to scare them." I motion to the kids.
"I understand," she says.
"Avery, I need you to watch Tyler and Tessa," I say. "Don't let them out of your sight for one second. I already told Tyler that if he needs me for anything that you or Callen would come get me. Teagan needs nursed very soon so I'll take her with me."
"Okay, Tris," she says. She sits down on the other side of Tyler and Tessa, and he immediately crawls into her lap, wrapping his arms around her and she kisses the top of his head. "Oh, you're warm, buddy." God, how could I have forgotten that? He was just in my arms minutes ago.
"I'm afraid Teagan shared her germs," I say. "Could you give him a dose of the children's acetaminophen in the diaper bag? It's the blue bottle. Teagan's thrush medicine is in the green bottle but make sure I didn't mix that up before you give anything to him. Mommy loves you, Tessa. I love you, Tyler."
"Love you, Mommy," he says. I kiss his forehead and hate that this is going on while he's sick. He should be resting. Isobel takes Peanut from me then gives her back once I get to my feet. I follow her out into the hallway, motioning for Christina to join me. When we walk into the sterile exam room down the hall, I turn to my best friend.
"I know this isn't the best time right now for you and Will but I need you, Christina," I say. "Will you hold her?"
"Of course," she says. "Will and I both are here for you, whatever you need."
"Thank you," I say as I carefully put Peanut in her arms.
"I need you to take your clothes off very carefully, Tris," Isobel says as she studies my body. "I see several pieces of glass, which means there are more than likely ones not visible to the naked eye." I carefully step out of my pants and when I look down, I'm shocked at the number of cuts and shards of glass that are in my legs. I don't feel a thing. I take my shirt off and shiver when a chill runs through me.
"What happened?" Christina asks.
"Drew tried to kill Four," I mumble. "I shot him but then he disappeared."
"Why don't you start at the beginning," she says but not unkindly. She sits down next to the examination table as Isobel starts examining my backside, hips, thighs, and calves for glass shards in my many wounds. I should probably feel what she's doing but I don't, which worries me for a split second but then I remember what the love of my life is going through right now just down the hall and I feel guilty for thinking of myself. I don't exactly know how this serum works but with simulation serum running through his veins, I just know he's experiencing his greatest fears and with the death serum mixed in, it has the potential to kill him. A tear slides down my cheek and lands on the floor beside Isobel.
"Do you know what today is?" I say out of the blue. "Today is my due date. I'd rather give birth a thousand times over to keep Tobias from experiencing what he's experiencing right now." The fog in my head clears a little, and I look at my best friend. "We pulled into the garage after spending a long day in Abnegation. He wanted to stop at the Pire and unload the kids but for some reason, maybe because of what we learned from Ethan Black today, I didn't want him to be alone, and maybe I talked him into going to the garage because he didn't want me to be alone."
"What did you learn from the sperm donor?" Christina asks, using our special nickname for Evelyn's lover. I quickly tell her and Isobel about learning that he once again wanted contact with the kids and that he sent Olivia after us to break us up in hopes of getting custody of them.
"Ellie is divorcing his ass," I mutter.
"It's about time," she says. "Go on with your story."
"We noticed a lot of burnt out lightbulbs when we pulled into the parking garage. Neither of us really thought anything about it. He called maintenance to come fix them. I guess we should have been suspicious because, in fact, they were broken." I look down at Isobel. "That's where all the glass came from." I look back at Christina. "The minute I got out of the car I knew something was wrong but I calmed down the minute I saw that it was just Olivia. She's always been crazy annoying but she'd never been violent so I didn't think we had anything to worry about. She made another play for Four but we soon learned that she was just the distraction. It worked. Drew snuck up behind him and injected him with the serum that has killed so many already."
"You don't know that for sure," Christina says.
"Yeah, I do," I say. "Molly basically told me as much. Their plan, which I think was moved up because Ethan Black was taken into custody, was to kill my husband and my kids and make me watch."
"How could someone be so evil?" Isobel gasps as she continues digging various sized shards of glass out of my body.
"I need my phone," I say. "I just remembered that they hinted that a hit was placed on Ethan Black, not that I would mind if he died but he has to answer for what he did legally." Christina hands me my phone, and I immediately dial Jack Kang.
"Kang, here," he gruffly says.
"Jack? This is Tris Prior from Dauntless."
"Not really a good time, Tris," he says. "Can I call you back?"
"I'm sorry to bother you but this is very important. Four was attacked tonight. He was given the same serum that has already killed three people."
"I'm sorry, Tris," he says with genuine sorrow in his voice but I don't want him feeling sorry for me, for Tobias. He will pull though this, I just know.
"Thank you but that isn't the information I need to pass along. Olivia Nelson, I'm sure you're familiar with the name, told us before Four was attacked that Ethan Black would be killed tonight because he knows too much." I hear him gasp. "They've already gotten to him, haven't they?"
"He was found unresponsive approximately half-an-hour ago but we really don't know what's wrong with him," he says. "What's this serum?"
"It's an advanced death serum developed by Jeanine Matthews," I say. I think I hear him growl at the mention of her name. She's been dead over a year, and she's still causing trouble in the city. "There's no known antidote." The moment that comes out of my mouth, Cara's words echo in my head. "Actually, that might not be true. Get some peace serum and give it to him. We were told today by an Erudite informant that while she was developing these serums, Jeanine learned that peace serum has the tendency to render the other serums useless when they are mixed. It might not work but it's worth a try." I look down at Isobel and say, "Go tell Zander that. Four needs peace serum." When she hesitates I scream, "Now!" She scrambles to her feet then disappears out into the hallway.
"Thank you for the information," Jack says. "Did Olivia give you an idea of who she was working with?"
"Ex-Dauntless initiates who were made factionless last year, Molly Atwood and Drew Boyd, who were both Candor transfers and a Dauntless member named Lauren Jones as well as Ethan Black. She didn't indicate who inside your faction was helping them, she just said they had friends there."
"Thank you for the valuable information, Tris," he says. "I hope that Four pulls through. I've always been partial to him. He reminds me of myself at that age. I'm sorry but I've got to go."
"Of course. Please call me if you have an update on Black's condition."
"I will." We both hang up without a goodbye. Isobel comes back into the room, and I feel the need to apologize.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you," I say.
"Hey, you don't have anything to apologize for," she says.
"I'm really trying to keep it together for everyone's sake. This it isn't easy. If I fall apart, I won't do anyone any good but I shouldn't have raised my voice."
"It's fine, Tris," she says as she returns to what she was doing. "I've got all the glass out from back here." She stands up and looks at the gash on my hip. She gently touches it with a gloved hand, and I feel physical pain for the first time since this ordeal started. All these little cuts are going to be worse than when I got shot during the Maria fiasco earlier this year. I glance down at the ragged red scar on my right arm as she continues the examination. "Most of these are superficial but there are five or so that need sutures to close, especially this one on your hip. It's pretty nasty. You can sit down on the examination table." One look at the metal table covered only by a thin mattress and sterile white paper, and I know it's going to be cold. I sit down and wince when she injects a numbing agent into a gash on my knee.
"What else happened?" Christina asks. I forgot I was telling them the story.
"Before we got out of the car, he must have sensed something was up because he got his gun out from under his set, and I'm so thankful he did," I say. "When Olivia threatened me with a knife, he pulled it on her then Drew attacked him. He dropped the gun during the struggle and miraculously it slid to within a couple feet of me. That's when Molly showed herself. When she ordered Drew to try to get my kids out of the car, I dove for the gun, which was lying by the tire in a lot of broken glass. I shot Drew twice but didn't kill him. I don't know if they ran off because I shot him or because they heard the maintenance guys coming. That's what happened."
"Is anyone out looking for them?" Christina asks.
"Yes," I say. "I sent Simon and Tony to arrest them all including Lauren. The last I saw them, they were following Drew's blood trail. I still don't know how he managed to get up and walk away after I put two bullets in his chest." Peanut starts whining and rooting toward Christina's chest. Poor baby's hungry again.
"I'm afraid you don't want me, pretty girl," she says. "You want your mommy." She gets up and hands me my daughter. "I'll give you some privacy. I'll tell the others what happened but I'm sure they'll have questions. Do you want me to give any orders?"
"Yes, I need Zeke to check the security feed," I say. "I imagine it was shut off like it was when Tori went missing but I'd like to know for sure. Thank you." She hugs me then walks out of the room. I put Peanut to my breast and when she latches onto my nipple, the normalcy of the action calms me more than anything has since I stepped out of the car and onto the broken glass.
"I'm sorry," Isobel says. I look up at her and my heart leaps into my throat. "There hasn't been any new news about Four. I'm talking about everything you've gone through in general." She puts the suturing needle down on the sterile tray after closing the wound on my hip. "I'm done with your lower body. I closed five with suture and two others with butterfly strips. Keep them clean and dry. Use waterproof bandages – you can get them in the pharmacy – when showering, otherwise I would recommend not covering them. I'm going to give you some time to nurse Teagan then I will take care of the cuts on your hands and arms." I look at the dried and still seeping blood on my wrists and hands and know she still has a lot to do. "I'll be back soon."
"I'm really worried about your Daddy, Peanut," I say once we are alone in the small procedure room. I always feel better when I talk out what's bothering me with Tessa or Teagan. I think the reason is because they can't talk back and I'm forced to work through my feelings on my own. "When I saw Drew grab him and put that syringe into his neck, I thought my heart was going to stop. I actually think it did for a minute. I don't know what I would do if we lost him. And there's a possibility that he won't come back to us." My voice breaks when I utter my greatest fear out loud. "If that happens, know that he didn't want to leave. He loves you with all his heart and soul. Everything he does, he does for us: you, your brother, your sister, and me." I allow the barrage of tears I've been fighting so hard against to fall unobstructed until they run dry. "He's going to pull through this though, I just know it. Your Daddy is extra special. If anyone can live through this, it's him." A knock on the door makes me look up, and I'm surprised to see my mother. "What are you doing here?" I'm more than a little shy sitting here nursing Peanut in only my bra and panties but she is my mother. "Come in."
"Christina called us," she says. "We rushed right over. Caleb and Cara are with her and Will, your father is with Tyler and Tessa. I needed to make sure you're okay."
"I'm not," I say. "I won't be until I know he's okay."
"Is there anything I can get for you?" she asks.
"Could you ask Isobel for some scrubs?" I say. "She's a nurse, petite, pretty, red hair, pregnant. I think she's wearing light green scrubs but I'm not entirely sure about that."
"I'm pretty sure I passed her in the hallway on my way in."
"Also ask if she has anything I can change Teagan into. Probably Tyler, too. I don't want blood on their clothes."
"Of course." She kisses my forehead then heads out the door. A few minutes later she returns with a pair of aqua scrubs and a pink sleeper for Teagan. She puts the little outfit on her granddaughter as I pull on the set of scrubs, being careful of my wounds. Memories of Tobias and I "playing doctor" flood my memory. Instead of it being a happy thought, a sob chokes me and I break down again. This time my mom holds me while I cry. I didn't know how much I needed her until she was here. I must remember to thank Christina for calling her. Once again, the tears run dry and the hollow numbness returns. I don't know which is worse, feeling too much or feeling nothing at all. There's a knock on the door and, after I say come in, Callen pokes his head into the room.
"Tyler needs you, Tris," he says.
"Okay. I have a few cuts that needs taken care of then I'll be in," I say. "Thanks."
"Hello, Callen," Mom says.
"Aunt Natalie," he says. "Dad's in the waiting room with his girlfriend, Abigail. I know it's not the best of circumstances but he would love to see you."
"Thank you," she says. "I'll make time to stop and see him."
"Here's an outfit for Tyler," Isobel says as she walks back into the room after Callen ducks out.
"Thanks," I say. "I had ahold of him for quite some time. I didn't notice any blood but I wasn't looking either."
"I'll take Teagan with me and put the medicine on her thrush," Mom says. "She looks like she's about ready to fall asleep at any moment. I might say hi to Nathan."
"Okay," I say. "Thank you for being here Mom."
"There's no other place I'd rather be," she says as she caresses her palm gently down my cheek. I watch her walk out the door and an emptiness I hadn't noticed settles over me.
"Put your hands on here." I set my hands, palm side up, on the tray Isobel just pushed over in front of me. She tweezes several pieces of glass out of little cuts on both hands, wrists, and forearms then cleans them thoroughly. I get lightheaded and have to look away after seeing blood continue to ooze out of one of the deeper cuts.
"I think this one is going to take a few stitches to close," she says. As she works, she updates me on what she knows. "Four is stable, although his heart rate and blood pressure are both dangerously elevated. Dr. Parrish is optimistic but he's not making any promises. The next 24 hours are critical. We're waiting for peace serum from Erudite. It isn't kept on hand in any faction except Amity. Candor and Dauntless both had to ask their permission for small quantities. As soon as it arrives, it will be given to him."
"When can I see him, Isobel?" I ask.
"Soon," she says as she finishes the sutures on my right palm and wrist. "Remember, keep the areas clean and dry. You're free to go."
"Thank you," I say. "You're a great friend." She hugs me tightly then reminds me that Tyler needs me. I can hear him before I'm halfway back to the makeshift waiting room. He's huddled on the bed, sobbing, surrounded by Avery, Christina, and my parents but none of them can calm him. "I'm here, buddy, I'm here. I'm sorry it took me so long." Upon hearing my voice, everyone gets off the bed, and I sit down. He crawls into my lap and wraps himself around me. I recognize this cry. He doesn't feel well and he's fighting sleep. I hold him tightly, caressing his hair, and telling him how much I love him, and within a couple minutes, he's out like a light. I gently lay him down on the bed and cover him with the thin blanket. My eyes scan the room until they find my girls. Teagan is sleeping in my father's arms, and Tessa is lying with her head on Will's shoulder but she's wide awake.
"Have you had an update on Four?" Shauna asks.
"He's stable for now but his vitals aren't good," I say. "The next 24 hours are critical." I look at each of my children, lingering on Tyler who looks so much like is father and grief constricts my heart painfully. "He might not make it."
"You can't think that way, Beatrice," Mom says.
"I'm just being realistic," I say, emotion thick in my voice. I shake my head, trying to clear it. "Have any of you had an update I should know about?"
"Zeke texted," Will says. "You were right, Lauren shut down the security cameras, although he thinks it was done at her workstation this time and not remotely. She's not even trying to cover her tracks anymore."
"Something happened today that changed their plans, and they moved up their timeframe," I say. "The only thing I can think of is Ethan Black's arrest. Olivia implied as much and even told us that he would be killed tonight to make sure he didn't talk tomorrow. When I called Jack Kang at Candor I learned that an attempt was already made on his life." My phone buzzes as I'm talking and I'm surprised to find a message from the very person we are talking about.
"What is it?" Dad says.
"That was Jack. Ethan Black didn't make it," I say reading directly from the text. "Damn it! We were going to get answers from him." I bury my head in my hands, trying to collect myself. I'm in danger of losing it.
"Simon and Tony checked in," Will says. I take a deep breath then look up at him. "There's no sign of any of the suspects. Apparently the blood trail they were following ended inside the garage. The theory is they stole a car to make their escape." This just keeps getting better and better. Are we ever going to be free of them?
"I doubt they're stupid enough to take Drew to the hospital in town but just in case they are, I want it checked out," I say. "I'd like to get them into custody sooner rather than later." Tessa looks up and frowns at me then chants mama over and over. "Come here, little one." I take her from Will, and she relaxes into my arms. I kiss her head and automatically sway back and forth in an effort to get her to sleep.
"There's something you should know," Christina says. "The waiting room is full of members. They've been waiting on word of Four's condition since he was brought in. I thought an update would be best coming from you but if you want Will and me to take care of it, we will." Part of me would like to hide with my head in the sand but this is my responsibility. Not only am I his wife but his second in command as well.
"I appreciate the offer, Christina, but I should be the one to speak to them," I say. "I'll be right back. Let's go for a walk, little one." Unfortunately, she's feeling the stress of the situation. "My poor girl. Mommy loves you." When I push my way through the double doors, I stop in my tracks. She was right, this place is packed. There's hardly any room to move. I try to ignore the stares as I make my way to a more centralized position so I won't have to yell too loudly. "Listen up." Everyone turns to looks at me, and the chatter dies instantly. Anxious, curious eyes turn and stare at me. "Thank you so much for being here. You have no idea how much it means to me and Four to know how much you all care. He's in serious but stable condition."
"Was he given the same thing as Harrison and the others?" a voice in the back says. I might as well give them the truth.
"Yes, he was," I say. Shocked gasps and startled cries echo throughout the room. "Dr. Parrish is optimistic that he will be okay but the next 24 hours will be crucial to him making a full recovery."
"Who did this?" someone else asks.
"An alert will be sent out to all of you shortly with names and pictures of the perpetrators," I say. "They are extremely dangerous. Their death toll now stands at four, and they've injured two others so if you see them, don't approach. I don't want anyone else dying."
"What can we do?" a man asks.
"Yeah, what do you need us to do?" a young girl asks.
"Go home and get some rest," I say. "There isn't anything to be done. I'll make sure that everyone receives updates on his condition but I think it best to clear out for the night." Some leave without a fight and others grumble on their way out but not everyone leaves.
"Is he going to be okay?" James asks. I walk closer to my friends.
"I don't know," I say, trying to hold it together.
"Are you sure we can't do something for you?" Kirsten asks.
"I'm keeping the kids with me," I say. "Molly threatened their lives. But I need some things. Clothes, diapers. I don't need them now but I would appreciate it if you went to my apartment in the morning and picked up some things for us. I could buy new things but why waste the money."
"Kirsten, Ella, and I will do that first thing," Ciara says.
"Take the guys with you wherever you go until Molly, Drew, Olivia, and Lauren are caught," I say. "I don't want anything else happening because of me."
"You're her target?" Ella asks.
"Mm-hm," I mutter. "My suffering was their endgame." I look down at Tessa and she gives me a little grin. "Tessa, Tyler, and Teagan are the only things holding me together right now. I need to get back to the other two." I give one armed hugs to everyone then head back to the exam room.
"Are they still out there?" Will asks.
"No, I sent everyone home," I say. "Will, Christina, you should go home to Liam. Caleb, Cara, I'm so thankful you came over but there isn't anything here you can do."
"I'm not leaving," Caleb says.
"Why don't you come home with us?" Christina asks. "If Tris needs us, we can be back down here in no time."
"That's a great idea," I say.
"Alright," Caleb says. I give hugs and kisses and tell Will that I will keep in touch via text updates.
"You need to get some rest though," I say to him. "You just got out of the infirmary yourself. I don't want you to have a setback on my account."
"You worry too much, Tris," he says as he hugs me. "I'm fine. Let's concentrate on catching the bastards who did this."
"I agree," I say as I release him.
"If you need anything, anything at all, just let me know," Christina says.
"I will," I say. "And thank you so much for calling my parents. You have no idea how much that means." I think I embarrass her because her ears go red and she doesn't say anything. "Now go home, all of you." We share another round of hugs then I watch them leave the room.
"Beatrice, honey, why don't you send your other friends home," Mom says motioning to Avery and Callen who both look to be on the verge of passing out. "Your father and I will stay with the children."
"You don't have to do that," I say.
"You're right, we don't," Dad says. "We want too."
"Alright. Avery, Callen, go home. Be safe." I watch as they file out of the room hand-in-hand then carefully lower myself onto the thin mattress next to Tyler and Teagan who are both sleeping soundly. Tessa starts whining and rooting so I have Mom get me a blanket. I put her to my breast and tears wet my eyes. I squeeze them shut as tightly as possible trying to keep the moisture at bay.
"It's alright to cry," Dad says. "Or scream if that's what you need to do."
"I'd be a blithering idiot if it weren't for these three," I say, looking at each of my kids who are keeping me sane and strong right now. "But every once in a while I allow myself to think and when I do, the worst thoughts cross my mind. He can't leave me alone with three kids. He made promises." I sit back on the bed while Tessa nurses and stare at the closed door of Tobias' room. What the hell is going on in there? Why is it taking so long? Isobel said I would be able to see him soon but I'm still sitting here over two hours later. I finally pull my phone out and ask for an update from Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo but they have nothing to give. My heart stops then picks up double time when Zander finally walks out of that room and straight to me.
"How are you?" he asks. He picks up my hand and examines Isobel's handiwork.
"How is Four?" I ask. "When can I see him?"
"He's stable," he says. "We finally got a small amount of peace serum from Erudite and administered it to him. His vitals stabilized immediately but he's still unconscious. I'm still not ready to say that he'll make a full recovery. It's just too early to tell."
"Can I see him?" I ask. "I need to see him."
"Of course you can," he says. I kiss Tessa and lay her down beside her brother and sister.
"I'll lie with them," Mom says. "Don't worry, they'll be in good hands. Go. If we need you, we'll come get you."
"Thank you," I say. I give Mom and Dad both quick hugs then walk across the hall. I pause at his door, my heart pounding heavily in my chest. I offer up a silent prayer, asking whoever is listening to please let him pull through. I can't be a widow with three children at 17. I take a deep, cleansing breath, then push the door open.