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for some reason, we didn't get our prompt today. at least, not yet... so i just wrote this anyway.

Charlie and I sit across from one another, on the carpet in her room, criss-cross-applesauce, having a breakfast picnic. It was her idea. We do this from time to time, where I let her pick where we will have our picnic and what we will eat- today it's a late breakfast of jam on toast, hot cocoa with whipped cream, and turkey cold cuts. Rolos for dessert.

She wanted the Frozen soundtrack, too, which I vetoed in favor of John Coltrane. I mean, a girl's got limits.

Today seemed like a good day for Charlie's picnic because I want to tell her about my weekend trip to Los Angeles. Generally, even though I try to be firm with Charlie, she's a bit spoiled because she's never had to share me with anybody. Lucky for me she loves Edward, so, I'm hoping this isn't going to be too much for her.

And if it is, well, she's just going to have to adjust. I'm sorry.

"Blackberry or strawberry?" she asks, mimicking me, plastic butter knife poised above two jam jars.

"Strawberry, please. But I can do it, baby."

"I can do it," she argues, dipping the knife carefully inside. I watch her for awhile, vaguely reminded of Edward's stubbornness with the carseat. Right when I'm about to just do it myself, she manages to smear a blob of jam across a triangle of bread. Puffed with pride, she hands it to me.

"Thanks, Charlie."

"Okay Mom."

"You're welcome," I prompt.

"You're welcome."

We smile at each other. Sometimes she looks like Tyler...certain expressions. I don't mind. He was - is - a handsome guy, and he gave me the most precious gift I ever could have asked for. It's hard to imagine having more children; I can't possibly love another kid the way I love this one.

I watch her work on a piece of toast, painstakingly spreading jam to every corner before cramming it in her mouth.

"Char-lie," I say. "Smaller bites, babe. Come on."

"Sorry Mom," she mumbles, crumbs flying.

"So, listen. I'm going to go with Edward on a little trip soon."

"A little trip?"

"Yup."

"Where you going?"

"Los Angeles. It's another city, kind of like this one. I'm going to watch Edward play another game."

"I like games," she replies automatically, just as I knew she would.

"I know, baby, but you're going to stay with Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett again, okay?"

She draws a finger through the whipped cream on her hot chocolate, quickly putting it in her mouth. "But."

I wait, but nothing else comes. "But what?"

"But. I love Edward."

"I love Edward, too."

She smiles, disturbingly sly. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"What?"

"Makenna said."

Looks like I might have to have a little chat with my niece about discretion and what is appropriate for an almost-four year old.

"Well. Yes. Edward is my boyfriend."

"He's my boyfriend, too," she confides.

"Oh, really? That's nice." I bite my lip, trying not to laugh.

"Yes. I'm going to marry Edward."

"But what about Harry?"

"No, Mom." She looks grimly at her toast. "I don't like Harry anymore."

"Okay." She might be as boy crazy as I was...I just didn't think it would start so young. "Well, anyway, I guess we can share Edward."

"No, Mom."

"Yes."

She stares at me, licking jam off of her lips.

"Charlie, Edward is going to be in our lives, okay? He wants to hang out with us a lot."

"Okay."

"And sometimes we're going to go on trips together. Sometimes you'll come, but other times you'll stay."

She nods, looking at the plastic Peppa mug Edward got her to match mine.

"So this weekend I'm going to go away with him and that's it," I repeat, knowing how selective she is with what she wants to hear. "You'll stay with your cousins."

"Can we watch Peppa?"

"What, now?"

"Yah!" She jumps up, almost knocking over what's left of her cocoa.

"Can we finish eating first?"

"But."

"Come sit. You want to sit on my lap?"

"No Mom."

But she plops down on me anyway.

The Sounders don't always use charter flights, but they've arranged to for their trip to L.A. They'll be in Portland after that, and then back in Seattle. That's where things get a little rough: eight days on the road, doing games around the northwest, followed by a flight east to play in Boston and New York, respectively. And then Texas to play FC Dallas...and then back to Seattle. The next couple of months are going to be trying for me, but for Edward they're going to be absolutely nuts.

He says he's used to it, though. He thrives.

We had our first almost-argument when he assumed that my hotels and flights would automatically be paid for - by him.

"I'm...not sure I'm comfortable with that," I said, staring at him from across the table. I hadn't really thought about all of the details, I supposed.

"What's the big deal?" He shrugged, twirling pasta around his fork. "Would you rather pay for it?"

"You know I can't afford that. Not that many games."

"Right. So what's the problem?"

It was a perfect example of how differently we saw money. He'd been raised in a hard working, but very privileged family, and had gone straight into professional soccer, where he continued to make money by the boat load. I, on the other hand, had never been destitute, but every dollar was hard won and accounted for. He saw money as a tool to get things done, I saw it as something that had to be handled carefully and doled out sparingly.

Jet setting around the country to watch my boyfriend play seemed frivolous.

"The time will probably come when you'd rather just stay home, to be honest. It's not as glamorous as it sounds. But right now, while it's still new, just come when you can and let me deal with the cost." The waiter stopped by with our second bottle of wine. "I can pour it; thank you."

"You're welcome, Sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?"

"No, thanks. This is great."

Giving a brief nod, the waiter smiled and left.

"Fine," I said finally.

"Why do you still sound unsure?" He topped my wine off. "I'm the one inviting you, right? I should cover it."

He arched his eyebrow, like he was challenging me. The more time we spent together, the closer we got, the more comfortable we were being direct. No more fluff, no more sugarcoating. It had been gradual change, but a natural one and I liked that we knew one another well enough to be real.

"I'm just used to taking care of myself. It's fine. I also just...never want anyone to think I'm...taking advantage."

"Forget what everyone thinks. You'll have to, especially in this world. People talk shit and spread rumors no matter how nice you try to be. Besides, if anyone's taking advantage...it's me."

How could I argue with logic like that?

"I feel like a kept woman," I teased.

"You'll get over it."

I'm not allowed to fly with Edward, not even when they take regular flights. I can't stay in his hotel, either, so he's booked me a suite in the nearby Marriott.

"Probably should've gone to bed earlier," I say as we pull up to SeaTac the morning of our flights. I leave an hour earlier than him, so he's dropping me at the curb before heading off to meet his team.

"Hm." He smiles, distracted by the traffic whizzing by. "Okay. Gotta go. I'll call you when we land."

"Whenever you can is fine; don't worry about it."

"Oh, and Garrett's wife, Kate, will pick you up."

"Really?" A deep sense of relief washes over me; I didn't realize how anxious I still was.

"Yeah. She's pretty excited you're coming...shit." Rubbing his face, he sighs. "I'm sorry. I should've asked if that was okay with you."

"No, it's totally fine. I liked Kate a lot."

Smiling softly, he reaches out, curving his hand around the back if my neck. "She really liked you, too. You sure it's okay?"

Even at five a.m., he's so heartbreakingly handsome. My heart skips randomly, reminding me of how affected I am by him...still. "I'm positive. Thank you."

Pulling me closer, he kisses me soundly. "Thank you."

It's a good time to be at the airport; not too hectic yet. After grabbing coffee and a fruit salad, I settle in at my gate to FaceTime Charlie on Rose's phone. She giggles her way through a conversation, at one point wandering away from Rose and holding the phone hostage in what looks like a closet. Eventually Rose catches up to her, and we chat for a moment before hanging up. On the other side of the glass, the rising sun grows in brilliance, reflecting against the planes waiting on the tarmac, making them look silvery. I watch absently for awhile wondering where exactly Edward's plane takes off from, if he's anxious about this game.

He says he gets nervous before every game, that the day he doesn't he'll be nervous that he's not nervous because that's what helps him play as well as he does.

A text comes through - Edward sending Kate's number, with an assurance she'll meet me in arrivals at LAX.

thanks. have a good flight. love you.

love you too.

Kate is just as stunning as I remember. Her hair is a little longer, pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of her neck. Grinning from behind her oversized sunglasses, she gives me a hug.

"No extra bags, right?" she asks.

"Nope. Just this."

"Perfect. Let's go."

She's easy to talk to, just like the night of Edward's birthday, babbling about everything from the heat wave the city's been having to tonight's game.

"You know...this might sound dumb, but I didn't realize before now Garrett played for LA Galaxy. You're the friends Edward came to visit that one time, aren't you?"

She nods, using her key fob to unlock her car. A luxury SUV, natch. "Yeah. It'll be a little crazy watching them compete. They used to play on the same team...feels like a lifetime ago."

"It's good they're still close."

"It is. They've been through a lot together." She smiles, turning the a/c up. "Okay, well, I don't know about you, but I seriously need more coffee."

"Sounds good," I say, sending quick texts to Edward and then Rose, letting them know I landed safely.

Despite the coffee, though, by the time Kate drops me off at my hotel, I'm sleepy again. I check in to my room, kick my shoes off and drop into bed, grateful I have a few hours to relax before the game. I'll be sitting pitch side again, with Kate this time. Edward made sure I wouldn't be alone, and I can't even deal with how much that means to me.

I'm awoken by hands and kisses.

Edward is beside me, half naked already.

"What...how did you get in here?"

"It's my room, too," he laughs, pulling my zipper down.

"But I thought you had to stay with the team." I yawn, disoriented.

"I do. I can't stay here. I just...needed to have access to you."

Our eyes meet. The need in his is so naked I swear I can feel it.

I'm his. I lift my hips so he can get my jeans off.

*Harry Styles. Charlie shares a 1D obsession with her older cousin Makenna. ;)

thanks for reading!

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