Chapter: 24
Ichigo opened his eyes and found himself on the ground. Mordere was standing over him.
"You are something else." Mordere kicked him in the ribs. Ichigo was rolled onto his side but he didn't have the strength to double over from the pain in his rib. He couldn't move. Mordere kicked him again and Ichigo had no choice but to take it.
The pain wasn't too bad. Most of his body had gone numb. Maybe he was in too much pain to feel anything.
"Get up." Mordere picked Ichigo up by his hair. "Get up," he ordered again.
Ichigo hung limply. He couldn't even throw a punch at the Quincy holding him off the ground.
Mordere threw him forward and Ichigo landed on his face. Mordere kicked him, causing him to roll a few feet in the dirt. Mordere kicked him again and Ichigo rolled a little further. "On your feet. Get a move on." Mordere kicked him again. "Get to the Seireitei already. I haven't got all day."
Even if he could, Ichigo wouldn't do as Mordere wished. He wasn't going to the Seireitei. He knew they wanted him to attack the Soul Reapers and take out as many of them as possible. They wanted the Soul Reapers to kill him.
Mordere kicked him again and Ichigo rolled onto his side without making a sound. He didn't even grunt from being kicked or whimper from the pain. He was empty. Empty of sound and strength. He felt like he had nothing left.
"So pathetic." Mordere knelt down to look at him. "Why are you doing this? Are you resisting still? What's the point? Look what's become of you by doing that. You can no longer move. All your strength is going into fighting off the transformation. Just think if you had the strength you would have had by not resisting, you would be able to do something to me right now. See how stupid you are? You should have just let the change happen and not bother fighting back. You've only succeeded in wearing yourself out. Now you have nothing."
Ichigo couldn't get his eyes to focus. He stared straight ahead at Mordere's shoe. He could hear him talking but had no idea what expression he was wearing. It sounded smug. Even a little annoyed.
"Quincies are better. Better than you, better than everyone. Especially Soul Reapers. We are kings among lowly humans. We're just treated like crap to keep us down. To make us feel like we're not as good as we are. They fear us."
Ichigo tried to speak. "How... would you... know that?"
"Because my foster parents were that way," said Mordere. "I lost my real parents somehow. No one explained how it happened. I was put in foster care and given to a new family. I was young. They raised me as one of them. Only I wasn't."
Ichigo could hear the emotion in his voice. Mordere was upset. There was resentment in his voice. Anger.
"I discovered my Quincy abilities while I was playing. I was even able to see things no one else could. Like ghosts and I spoke with them often. When my foster parents saw this, they grew afraid. When I showed them what I could do, they grew even more frightened. Since I never knew my real parents, I had no idea what a Quincy was and had no idea I was one. I was raised by simple humans. And those humans took me away to a facility to be cured. As if I were sick. Like I was crazy. Like I was different from how I should be."
"They were just concerned about you," said Ichigo weakly. "They didn't know about Quincies either. You can't blame them for not understanding something they know nothing about."
"Their solution was to send me away to be cured. I'm not the bad guy here."
"They didn't know what was going on. They thought they were helping you. They cared enough to-"
"If they cared at all, they wouldn't have done that!" Mordere snapped. "I wasn't at that place for long, but I was frightened every single day. The way I was treated, I thought there was something wrong with me. That these powers were a curse. I was scared. I tried to hide my powers so I would be normal and so I could leave that place. But I still saw ghosts and I couldn't tell if they were real people or not. What I went through... I ran away from that place. I couldn't take it anymore and I ran. I wanted to go back home and beg my foster parents to take me back and promise them that I wouldn't do anything again. I would never use my abilities again. I was ashamed of my powers. I felt like a freak."
Ichigo could understand that. Sometimes he felt like his ability to see ghosts was a curse that labeled him as weird. He even partly blamed himself for what happened to his mother. If only he hadn't seen what he saw, he would have never run off which prompted his mother to chase him. It was his fault. He was ashamed and angry with himself. He worked through it, but there were times when he had those feelings still, usually around the anniversary of her death. He would always have scars. He would never be completely over it.
"But I was afraid they wouldn't take me back," continued Mordere. "I thought they would be too afraid of me and not let me in. Or even worse, take me back to that horrible place. I had nowhere to go. So I stayed in different places. I hid in a neighbor's tree house and slept there at night. Or in the park in one of those colorful tunnels next to the swings. I stole candy from the store or sneaked back home when I knew my foster parents were working. That lasted a week. I started to wonder if people were even looking for me. If anyone cared."
Linnette had also lived on the street when she ran away from one orphanage when she was little. She lived on the street for one full year before people took notice and brought her to a new orphanage. Ichigo was sure Mordere and Linnette had a few things in common they could talk about. Maybe she could get through to him and have him change his mind about what he was doing. There was always a chance.
"Then one day I was being attacked my a Hollow in the park and I was all alone. I was sure I'd die but then someone shot the Hollow with an arrow and saved me. I saw him using powers similar to mine and was amazed. I thought I was the only one. I couldn't make arrows like he could, but the light he was using was just like mine. He told me that he was a Quincy and so was I. I told him I knew nothing about being a Quincy and had no idea there were others. He said I could come with him and live with my own kind. He said they would teach me. I was so happy and had nothing to lose. I joined them and my life got so much better. They showed me what to do. They trained me. I learned so much. Quincy tools and everything. I finally felt like I was part of a real family. I was happy."
Ichigo tried to turn his head but it wouldn't move. He wanted to look at Mordere when he spoke to him.
"I think I get it," said Ichigo. "That's why you're doing this. Why you're the way you are. Because they took you in and made you feel like you were part of their family, you sided with them on everything. No matter what, you're going to stick with your own kind. You'll always side with Quincies. On everything."
"Why wouldn't I?" said Mordere. "I'm a Quincy, so whatever a Quincy does, I will do, too. It's only right. Whatever a Quincy does, says or believes is right. I was told that Quincies are strong, so I will be strong. Quincies are better, therefore everyone else is scum. And after what I went through with my foster family and those other human beings at that medical facility, it only confirms what I already believe. They treated me like I was the freak. That I was different and therefore the one who had to change. Well, I am different but that doesn't make me wrong. That I am the one who has to change. I'm different and I'm better."
Ichigo was able to look away from Mordere's shoe and lifted his gaze as far as he could take it. "What you are doesn't make you bad or the one who's in the wrong. Just because you're a Quincy, that doesn't mean that you're automatically wrong on everything and can't do anything right. That's not true and I'm sorry people made you feel that way. But the choices you make are what define such things. Being a Quincy doesn't make you great. It's what you do that decides that. Your actions make you great, not your kind."
Mordere looked down at him. Ichigo's words seemed to have no effect on him. "Quincies are superior. We're better. We're great. I'm a Quincy so of course I believe that."
"You have pride in your own kind. I get that," said Ichigo. "But your foster parents took care of you. Welcomed you into their home. They only did what they did because they didn't know what else to do. They were worried about you. Not scared of you, but of what you could do. They didn't know what to think. They thought they were helping you. For all they knew, it was something that could cause you harm. They thought they were protecting you. They were trying to be good parents."
"Don't defend them," snapped Mordere. "If they were good parents, they would have let me do as I pleased. They would have encouraged me rather than send me away to be 'cured'. A good parent lets you do what you want."
"So if you want to hurt people, a good parent would let you? If you want to kill innocent people, they should encourage you? Think about it, Mordere! If a parent did that, you would never learn anything! You wouldn't be a good person at all. A parent has to give you limitations and can't let you do whatever you please. Especially if it's going to hurt people."
"Only those who are not Quincies deserve it. I could never expect them to understand. A human could never."
"They still took care of you. They were you're parents."
"They were not! They weren't blood! They weren't Quincies! They were foster parents! I was raised by strangers who knew nothing! If I had stayed with them, I would have never discovered who I truly was. I would have never become great. I would have been forced to live as a human and live a lie! Squeezing me to fit a certain mold." Mordere was seething. He was angry. "They wanted to cage me. They weren't Quincies so they would never understand. They were unfit to raise me. A Quincy can only be raised properly by his own kind. Any other way would be wrong. A lie. A human could never do that. I belong with Quincies. They are my family. They understand me and can take proper care of me. They know what I need. My foster parents... Never. Just a couple of strangers who could never understand. Who would try to change me into something I'm not. I would never reach my full potential with them. I would be limited. Held back. Forced to live the life of a lowly, worthless human. It was proof enough when they sent me away to be cured! It shows that they were always unfit. That's why once I had my training and learned how to use my arrows, I came back and killed them both!"
Ichigo felt frozen. Even his spine had gone cold. "You... killed them?"
"That's right. I killed them both with the very power they feared."
Ichigo managed to turn his head just enough to see Mordere's face. He was proud of what he did. There was no remorse in his eyes. Mordere was happy. He was pleased with himself. He believed he had done the right thing.
"Don't give me that look, Ichigo," he said. "It's only what they deserved."
Mordere was beyond saving at this point. He truly believed he was in the right. There was no getting through to him. No changing his mind. This was how he was. No matter what, he would always side with his own kind.
Purely because they were Quincies, he felt that everything they did was justified. No matter how horrible, a Quincy could do no wrong.
Mordere grabbed a fistful of Ichigo's hair again. "No matter what, I will always choose the side of a Quincy." He lifted Ichigo painfully off the ground. "And my Quincy leader told me to bring you to the Seireitei so some heads can roll. So that's what I'm going to do."
He threw Ichigo in the direction he wanted him to go. Ichigo fell on his face again, this time, letting a moan escape from his throat. It hurt. Everything hurt.
"Get up." Mordere kicked him in the back. "Get up!"
Why couldn't they just leave him alone?
Mordere grabbed the back of Ichigo's clothing and picked him off the ground. He dragged Ichigo a short distance and threw him again. "On your feet!"
Ichigo couldn't feel his legs. How was he supposed to walk? Mordere was just plain cruel. Was this how the Quincies raised him to be? Was he this way because it was how he felt a Quincy should be? He was cruel because a Quincy could be? He could do anything and be anything he wanted?
Mordere picked him up again and dragged him across the dirt by his collar. The fabric cut into Ichigo's neck but there was little he could do about it. He was dragged for a distance in the direction of the Seireitei.
There was nothing he could do about it. He was helpless.
Sharif and Yagi stared at each other for a full minute. Neither could understand what had happened.
Shinji blinked and his eyes returned to normal. "How long was I out?"
"Not long," said Rukia. "But you were right. Linnette's voice had some sort of effect on him."
"Really? How much?"
"He's not fully tame but she ordered him to turn around and he did. But his Hollow self isn't in control. His actions seemed to be involuntary."
Shinji looked at Sharif who was still baffled by what had happened. "He's not the same as a Vizard, but I figured the principals were about the same. Because he's not exactly the same, things must be more complicated. I'm not sure how to figure him."
Yagi looked at the group and frowned. He was certain Linnette wasn't controlling him. Sharif's eyes never changed. He wasn't acting the way the Vizards did when they were under her command. This must have been a fluke.
"Never mind. Sharif, try it again. Attack them."
"Yes, sir." Brushing it off, Sharif turned back to finish the job. He opened his mouth and quickly fired another cero before Linnette could say anything.
The group retreated. Rukia kept Linnette close and Shinji broke away to attack from a different angle.
"Sharif, stop!" Linnette ordered him. "Stop!"
He didn't obey.
Pleased with this, Yagi smiled. This was enough to prove to him that it was just a fluke. Linnette had no control over him.
Linnette was at a loss for what to do next. Sharif wasn't listening to her. Maybe if she made herself bait it would work. Maybe he only listened to her if her life was in danger.
She pushed away from Rukia and ran to catch up with Sharif. It might have been foolish to put herself in danger like this, but it was the only thing she could come up with.
Rukia knew what she was doing and didn't approve. She watched, tense, as Linnette ran to the Quincy. She was trying to get his attention. Rukia knew Linnette didn't want to be scooped up and carried to safety so she stayed back.
"Sharif!" Linnette called as she ran. "Sharif!"
He looked down and saw her running alongside him. "Out of my way," he ordered and took a swing at her. The swing was wide and was never meant to reach her. He was trying to scare her away.
"Please stop! I don't want Shinji or any of my friends to get hurt! Please stop!"
"I said to get out of my way." Sharif stepped around her and went after Shinji.
Linnette couldn't keep up and fell. She watched Sharif attack Shinji and knew he wasn't going to listen to her.
This whole thing seemed pointless.
Shinji saw him coming and blocked with his sword. Sharif wrapped his clawed hands around Shinji, sword and all, and pulled him down. He slammed Shinji into the ground, over and over. When he felt Shinji go limp, he opened his hand and looked at him. Shinji was still conscious but his whole body was sore and battered.
Sharif took hold of each arm and lifted Shinji up. He started pulling in opposite directions, intending to rip Shinji in half.
Shinji groaned and tried to pull back to keep his shoulders from popping out. His Zanpakuto was on the ground well out of reach.
Sharif was still pulling but he wasn't pulling any harder, though he was more than capable. He was pulling Shinji tight, but not enough to pull him apart.
"Finish him," Yagi ordered.
Sharif didn't pull any harder. He kept Shinji's arms straight but refused to pull any tighter. He didn't go in for the kill. He didn't blast him with a cero. He just held him there.
"Why aren't you killing him?" Yagi asked, losing patience.
"Because..."
"Because why?"
Sharif and Shinji made eye contact. Nothing in his eyes had changed. Sharif was still in control.
"Because why?" Yagi pressed.
"Because if I do, she'll be sad."
Sharif spoke in perfect monotone. His eyes never changed, but something inside him was trying to gain control.
Sharif shook his head. "Why did I say that?" He was speaking in his normal voice.
Yagi was very disturbed by Sharif's response.
Sharif continued to hold Shinji but couldn't bring himself to kill him for reasons he could not understand.
He was starting to get frightened. Something was wrong with him. He didn't know what, but he didn't like it. Something didn't feel right.
"Leader, I don't know what's wrong with me. My body won't listen."
Yagi didn't answer him. He stared at him like a machine out of control. No matter how many times he pressed the button, something else would happen. He couldn't understand.
It couldn't have been Linnette, could it? That was impossible. He did his research. He knew her powers and abilities. Sharif wasn't being controlled by her. This was something else. Something was wrong with his body. Sharif had something wrong with his Hollow body. That had to be it.
This form was strictly experimental so Yagi couldn't call it perfect. There must have been a few kinks to work out.
"Leader, please help. I don't know what's wrong with me."
Yagi cast a disappointed eye on Sharif and sighed. "I suppose you're not as perfect as I pegged you, Sharif."
Sharif grew worried. The last time he was thought to be less than perfect, Yagi locked him in a cage to be feasted on by Ichigo.
"Leader, please don't discard me!" he begged. "I can do it. Really. I'll just try harder. Leader, please give me a chance to prove myself to you. Your efforts to rebuild me were not in vain. I'm still useful."
"Enough." Yagi held up his hand and Sharif was silent. "You are powerful and without that annoying part of you no one liked. You are still useful to me."
Sharif was overjoyed.
"I have another idea instead."
Once again, Ichigo was back in his inner world. What was left of it, at least. Even more buildings had fallen and water was rising fast. Ichigo couldn't catch sight of his Hollow but he was too weak to look. He could feel himself slipping away again.
He shut his eyes.
When he opened them, he was back in his bedroom. A familiar and comforting place. His room looked slightly different from when he had seen it last.
There were pictures of teddy bears on the wall and children's drawing taped to the door of his closet. He didn't have a desk. In its place was a toy bin and a pile of coloring books. There were so many stuffed animals on the floor and a small child's red T-shirt on the floor near the toys.
Ichigo wasn't feeling well at all. His body was aching and he felt hot. His throat was scratchy and sore.
His father was sitting beside his bed flipping through a medical book in his lap. When Ichigo coughed, his father looked up and stroked his chest through the blanket. "It's ok, son. Easy does it, Ichigo. You'll be ok."
His mother was standing in the doorway with a concerned but amused look on her face. "What are you doing, honey? I thought you were giving him medicine."
"I am, I am..." His father read one of the pages in the book.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to find out the best way to treat this."
His mother laughed and entered the room. "We have a clinic, silly. And you're going to tell me you have no idea how to diagnose our son?"
"It's different when it's strangers off the street. If I make a mistake with them, I don't know them that well. If I screw up with my only son..." He looked worried. "I just want to make sure I get this right."
"Does he have a fever?"
"No, no fever."
"Then there isn't too much you can screw up. He'll be fine."
His father looked worried. "It's just hard, you know. I've never seen him sick like this before. I'm his father. I'm worried about him."
"And I'm his mother. I worry, too, but he'll be fine. It's just a little cough and some soreness. Ichigo said he had a headache, so the best thing for him now is sleep."
"But what else can I do for him?" he asked her. "I wish I could make him better now."
"Time, my dear. Just hang in there." She smiled at her son. "You, too, Ichigo."
Ichigo coughed into the blanket. He nodded his head.
His father was still flipping through the book for answers.
"I'm pretty sure it's just a cough," his mother said.
"Yeah... Unless it's a tricky illness and could be much worse. What if it's not a cough at all and we foolishly think it is? We let our guard down and by the time we find out the truth of what it is, it's too late."
"Honey, you're scaring him."
Ichigo was worried. Was he going to get better? He felt awful.
"Sorry, son." His father patted his head. "You'll be fine. I'm just being worried for nothing. You know dads. Always freaking out over nothing. Your old man loves you which is why he worries so much. I don't like seeing you sick."
Ichigo heard his father's regular tone of voice and was reassured. There was nothing to worry about.
"Daddy's a scardy-pants," he said hoarsely. His giggling turned to coughing and he pulled the blanket up to his nose.
"Yeah, your daddy sure is."
"He sure is." His parents kissed and his mother started to leave the room. "Make sure he gets some rest. He needs some sleep to feel better."
"Sure thing. I'll just stay with him for a little while longer."
"Love you sweetie." His mother blew him a kiss. "Feel better." She went into the hallway to check on the babies in the next room.
"Ok, where were we?"
Ichigo watched his father read from the medical book in his lap again. Occasionally, he would look up to check on Ichigo. Sometimes, he would stroke Ichigo's head or rub his chest through the blanket and mutter reassuring words to him.
His father didn't leave for some time. Soon Ichigo grew tired and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of his father flipping through pages.
Ichigo opened his eyes and found himself back in his inner world. Not much had changed, leading him to believe that he had only been out a few short minutes.
"It happened again."
"What did?" came the voice of his Hollow. He was nearby but Ichigo couldn't turn his head to see where he was.
"I just fell back into a memory. I know it's my memory and not a dream." Ichigo sighed to the skyscraper above him. "I just want to know why this keeps happening. Why do I keep seeing clips from my past?"
His Hollow had a simple explanation. "They say before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes."
"You think that's it?"
"We are dying, King. That serum is slowly killing us."
"Then why am I only seeing clips? One at a time?"
"Because it's a slow death. So your memories must be slow in coming as well. That's the way I see it."
Ichigo looked at the sky reflected in the skyscraper. He knew he must have blacked out again in the real world which was why he was here. He didn't want to pass out and become a Hollow again, but being here gave him relief from Mordere's abuse.
He couldn't even lift his hand to swing at him. He could only hang there limply and take it. Whatever Mordere chose to do, Ichigo was helpless to stop it from happening.
He never felt more miserable or weak in his life.
Frequently he wished he could go home and see his family and friends. Part of him wondered why he had such thoughts. He should have been thinking about other things, like ways to defeat the Quincies. Instead, he was thinking like a homesick child longing to see his family.
"What are you thinking about, King?"
"I want to go home."
"You're pathetic."
Ichigo shrugged. "I guess I am."
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