Everyone was already at the table and eating. I didn't think we'd talked to Maka long enough to be late, but it didn't really matter either way. We sat and talked, mainly discussing the plan for tonight.
"Are we hanging out after?" Liz asks.
"Anywhere but my place, please. My father is redecorating some of the rooms and I can't stand the mess." Kid begs. I laugh as he shoots me an angry look.
"I don't think I can, my mom really wanted me home right after." Tsubaki said.
"M-me neither." Crona stutters, her hands resting on her chin.
I shrug. "It's okay. Maybe we can all get together at some point this weekend." I said, smiling.
"ANYWHERE BUT MY HOUSE!" Kid yells again. We all laugh at his outburst, and even he grins a little.
The rest of the day went by quickly. Before I knew it, I was walking out of Mr. Stein's class with Kid and Tsubaki.
"Did the balloon company get back to you?" Kid demands. He reminded me probably 18 times yesterday to call the balloon company. When I did, they told me they'd get back to me later. Kid had been a wreck the rest of the day, muttering about how much of a failure he was for only getting 799 balloons. I'd totally forgotten to tell him they'd called me back last night.
"Yeah, they apologized for the mistake. And after much begging to send one balloon to even the number, they finally agreed. It'll be here by Tuesday." I said.
Kid closes his eyes and breathes a loud sigh of relief. He puts his hand on his chest. I roll my eyes; leave it to Kid to be extremely over dramatic. "You are amazing. Thank you." He said. I laugh.
The parking lot was filled with people pulling recklessly out of their spots, nearly running us over. Kid separated from us, walking towards his car, leaving Tsubaki and I.
We chat as we walk, and I find myself looking to where Soul's car was parked. The car was still there, with the black door open. Soul's tall frame was leaning into the car, scrambling around for something. I shake my head; so disorganized.
Tsubaki notices me watching and stops walking. I look away from the car and at her stopped frame, raising an eyebrow.
"Want to go say hi?" She asks, motioning towards Soul.
"I uh, I don't care." I stutter, averting my eyes to the ground. Tsubaki gives me a look, making me blush. She opens her mouth to say more, but thankfully someone interrupts.
"You guys should probably get out of the road, they won't hesitate to run you down." Soul calls, closing the door to the car. He's grinning like always. He walks over to where we're standing, stopping to my right.
"Hi, Soul." Tsubaki said kindly.
"Hey Tsubaki. Hey." He said, nudging my shoulder. Tsubaki gives me a knowing look. I roll my eyes at her and look over to Soul.
"Shouldn't you be getting to the stadium?" I ask. Soul groans, running his hands through his hair.
"Don't make me." He complains. I laugh, and Tsubaki raises an eyebrow.
"Do you not want to play?" She asks. Soul shrugs, hoisting his bag further up his shoulder.
"I'm just lazy." He said, smiling. Tsubaki laughs, but I can tell his smile is forced. The truth is she's exactly right. His eyes rest on my face, and I give him a sympathetic smile.
"We'll see you later." I said softly. We wave goodbye as he walks slowly towards the stadium, dragging out the trip. We arrive at Tsubaki's small white car and get in.
"Is he okay?" Tsubaki asks.
I don't give Tsubaki as much as credit as she deserves. She can practically see through anyone. She can pick up on even the slightest facial change or action that might tell something is amiss. I don't think I've ever met anyone that could do that.
I sigh. "He's just stressed. With everything." I said, figuring that's as far as I should go. Tsubaki doesn't pry, letting the conversation drop. Or so I thought.
"You like him, don't you." It's not even a question. She doesn't look to me for confirmation. She just knows. Because she's Tsubaki, and she picks up on everything. Damn.
I want to argue. I want to roll my eyes and cross my arms and deny it to the ends of the earth. Because the truth is, I don't want to like Soul. But for some reason my heart disagrees with my brain, constantly pulling me the wrong direction. When Tsubaki looks at me with her kind eyes, I sigh and sit back.
"I don't even know anymore. I shouldn't." I said.
"But why?! I don't understand why you think it's such a bad thing to like Soul." She exclaims, throwing a hand in the air. I recoil slightly at her change in tone, and she relaxes her shoulders slightly.
"I-I don't know. He's my friend and..." I said, fading off. The rest of the car ride to Tsubaki's house is quiet. I could tell Tsubaki was trying to decipher why I didn't want to admit my feelings for Soul. But truth was, there wasn't really a reason. He was my friend; practically my brother.
She parks the car in her driveway, not unlocking the doors. I get deja vu, reminding me of when Soul wouldn't let me get out of the car a few days ago.
"Tell me exactly how you feel." She said, softly. I look into her deep blue eyes, her calm and delicate features making all hesitation melt away. I found myself saying words I didn't even know I felt.
"I can't explain it. Sometimes when I'm with him, all I want is to hold his hand and kiss his cheek and all that mushy stuff, and other times I'm content with punching his arm and messing around. I can't tell how I feel about Soul.
"And it's not like it matters, anyway. Because everybody in school finds Soul attractive. And if he had to settle for one of them, he'd never settle for me. He wouldn't think to. Because to him I'm just his friend." I finish. I feel hollowness in my chest, as if the confession finally cleared away the emotional blockage.
My throat constricts as I realize how much I'd just poured out to Tsubaki. She looks shocked, as if she never knew I felt like that.
"You feel insignificant to Soul's friends?" She asks. I nod, realizing how pathetic I was sounding. I always told everyone to be themselves, and here I was complaining that myself wasn't good enough for Soul.
I'm such a hypocrite. And a baby.
Tsubaki wraps an arm around my shoulders, patting my back. After trying so hard, the dam finally broke. I collapsed into her arms and cried.
"I-I just don't know what's happening! I didn't ha-have these feelings for him a month or so a-ago and now when I see him wi-with Maka I just get so angry and so sad an-and..." I sob, holding onto her tightly. She softly shushes me, gently stroking my back.
We sit like this for a few minutes, me sobbing into her shirt while she holds me. I can't even remember the last time I cried like this; it was probably when Kilik Rung asked Liz to prom last year, going against his promise of asking me. Soul had been the Tsubaki of that night; holding me against his strong chest while I cried. The only difference was while Tsubaki held me silently, Soul cursed like a sailor in my ear as to how badly he was going to kick Kilik's ass.
The thought of Soul just made me cry harder. Tsubaki gently pushes me off of her shoulder and unlocks the car.
"C'mon. Let's talk inside." She said, getting out. I collect myself enough so that I don't exit the car wailing. She meets me at my door and takes my hand, guiding me the familiar way up her steps and into her house.
Her house was impeccable, as always. While Kid was the neat freak of the group, Tsubaki had a quiet liking for things being in order. Despite having a younger brother who left messes everywhere he went, Tsubaki still managed to keep her family's house in order. Her parents didn't know how lucky they were to have her for a daughter.
She leads me down the hall to her room, the lavender walls of it somewhat soothing me. I'd stopped sobbing now, silent tears occasionally rolling down my cheeks and a sniffle here and there. I sat on Tsubaki's bed and she sat in the chair across from me.
She gave my hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it, placing hers back in her lap. "Wanna know what I think?" She asks. I nod, still too choked up to speak.
"Well, to start off with, I think if Soul found out you feel insignificant compared to his friends, he'd be mortified. You know Soul cares about you a lot, don't tell yourself otherwise. And there's nothing wrong with liking him, Allie. Believe me. God, I've liked Black Star since 8th grade?! And I still do! I don't have any shame in it!" She said.
"I just don't understand why, Tsubaki. I've been friends with him for what- 14 years? And just recently I've started feeling weird around him."
"Perhaps it has something to do with Maka." She guesses. I sigh and lay back on the bed, giving up. Was it Maka? Was the thought of a new girl in Soul's life making me feel threatened?
I groan, putting my hands over my face. My eyes were puffy and my face was hot. I knew I looked terrible; I'd have to freshen up before the game. "So now I'm confused and jealous." I said, groaning. Tsubaki laughs, joining me on the bed.
"That's how it feels to have a crush. Come on, let's get you freshened up. I told Crona we'd be at her house at 6."
I hate when you can't decipher how you feel about a boy _ hope you enjoyed!
~Greenybean