I'm not sure what time it is but I know it's still quite early, and Tobias isn't in bed with me. For a split second after I pry my heavy eyelids open, I panic until I see the wound on my left hand and realize that this is indeed reality and not a simulation or another horrible dream my night has been plagued by. I take a few deep, cleansing breath but it takes me a while to calm myself down, which makes me wonder how long he's been gone because I usually don't have that many nightmares with him beside me.
Faint crying reaches my ears, and I immediately recognize a very distressed Peanut. She's been put through so much these past few days, I think she deserves a break this morning. I take the stiff, lightweight blanket off me and swing my legs over the edge of the bed then slip my feet onto the floor. I take a tentative step and pain shoots through my hip and down my left leg. Instead of trying to make it out the door and across the hallway, I make it to the wheelchair, which Tobias wheeled out of the way after taking the kids to their room last night and sit down. Relief immediately washes over me. I wheel myself up to the door and push my way through it. Peanut's cries are louder in the hallway even though that door is shut also. After trying to get the door open, I softly rap on the doorframe then back up a few feet.
"Beatrice!" Dad says in a hushed voce, surprised to see me. He steps aside and allows me to enter. "What are you doing out of bed?"
"I couldn't sleep, and then I heard Teagan crying," I say. I glance in my Mom's direction and find that she has a haggard look about her. She's in desperate need of a break today. "How long has she been up?"
"I've been trying to give her a bottle for over 45 minutes," she says. "She's being very stubborn this morning. She's nearly woken up her brother and sister twice now."
"I'm going to nurse her," I say. "You all need a break. Why don't you go up to our apartment and get some sleep?"
"We couldn't possibly do that," Mom says.
"Please. I insist. You both have done so much for me and Four these past few days and you are exhausted. His keys are right there." I point at the tray table against the wall. "Take them. Go get some rest."
"Okay," she finally relents. "Thank you, Beatrice."
"No, thank you both," I say. "Can you help me into bed with Tyler and Tessa then you can give me Teagan."
"Of course," Dad says. He carefully moves Tyler and then Tessa over, making room for me then wheels me to the bed. I stand up, turn, and sit down just like in the other room. Once I get situated, Mom hands me Peanut who is crying loudly. I stick my knuckle in her mouth, quieting her but I know it won't last long.
"Thank you," I say. "What time is it anyway?"
"A little after 4 a.m.," Mom says as she looks at the clock on the wall behind me.
"Do you know where Four is?" I ask.
"The last we knew he was helping get the auditorium ready for the interrogations," Dad says. "I think he has a lot of nervous energy following Drew's interview." Normally we work off that excess, uneasy energy with each other so I know how he's feeling right now.
"Okay," I say. "Can you close the door behind you? I don't want my precious girl waking up the entire infirmary."
"We will," they say then exit the room, doing as I ask and securing the door behind them. I unhook the cup on my nursing cami and put Peanut to my full breast. She latches on easily, and I swear I see her smile as she suckles. She obviously doesn't like a bottle, and I'm not sure how to remedy that. I remain quiet so I don't disturb Tyler and Tessa while Peanut eats. I just gaze at my very hungry baby girl, caressing her head and face as she nurses. Just as I put her to my shoulder to burp, Tobias rushes into the room, his eyes wild with worry. My heart starts slamming against my ribcage wondering why he looks the way he does.
"What's wrong?" I whisper when he reaches my side. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and runs his hand through his messy hair.
"I couldn't find you," he finally says. "I started to panic."
"I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep and heard Peanut so I decided to nurse her," I say. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"Where are your parents?" he quietly asks.
"I sent them to our apartment to get some rest. They're both exhausted."
"I'm surprised they went," he says as he pulls a chair up next to me. "I've been trying to get them to take a break for days."
"Our sweet baby girl has them both stressed out," I say. "She was stubbornly refusing the bottle and beyond pissed off. I swear she smiled when I put her to my breast."
"She's been very obstinate since you were hurt," he says. "Earlier when you gave her the bottle was the easiest time anyone's had and I could tell it frustrated you. I guess that's why I'm surprised you're nursing her."
"She needed a break, too, and if I didn't get to nurse I was going to have to pump soon anyway," I say as I put her to my other breast. "This has been very stressful for her, too. I didn't mean to introduce the bottle in this way. The minute she latched on she calmed right down."
"She looks more content than I've seen her in days," he says as he runs his hand over her head.
"I agree and I haven't spent as much time with her as you have," I say. "Mom and Dad told me you couldn't sleep."
"I tried but it was impossible. I'd close my eyes and see that bastard's smug face." I knit my brows together wondering who he was picturing. We unfortunately have come to know too many smug bastards. "Porter Hayes," he spits and Tyler groans then rolls over. "Sorry. Why couldn't you sleep?"
"Bad dreams," I say.
"They must have started after I got up," he says. "You were sleeping quietly, a little smile on your face. I watched for a while, wondering what put that look on your face."
"You did," I say, bits and pieces of an erotic dream about Tobias making me flush.
"That good, huh?" he says with his cocky grin. He likes that I have sex dreams about him.
"Always," I say as I lean over and kiss him then I groan as I right myself.
"Do you need more pain medication? I could go look for Isobel. Zander went home after he checked on you around midnight."
"It probably wouldn't hurt," I say. "Is there enough room in this bed for all of us? I'd like for you to stay also. You need some rest just like Mom and Dad. You're pushing yourself too much. I'm worried about you."
"I think there's more than enough room for us all," he says. "You shouldn't worry about me."
"How can I not worry, Tobias?" I ask as I reach out and caress his face. "You know how I feel about you. Take care of yourself … please."
"Nothing is going to happen to me," he says as he covers my hand with his. "You concentrate on getting better."
"Alright," I say. We're quiet as I finish nursing Peanut who eats more than she ever has before. It's almost as if she knows her next feeding will more than likely come from a bottle and she's storing milk up for the long fight. After her final burp she lies her head on my shoulder and falls asleep. Tobias takes her and puts her in the baby bed then he goes and retrieves Isobel who gives me something to take care of the pain and within minutes I surrender to a dreamless sleep.
Rustling of fabric and hushed voices wake me up. I know that it's hours later because I finally feel refreshed. I slide my eyes open unnoticed and observe my family getting ready for the day. Mom is helping Tyler get dressed, Dad is rocking Tessa who is taking a bottle, and Tobias is changing Peanut's diaper on the end of the bed.
"Good morning," I say, bringing it to everyone's attention that I'm awake.
"Oh, we waked Mommy up," Tyler says with a pout. "Sowwy, Mommy."
"I was ready to get up," I say. "You didn't wake me." His forlorn look turns sunny as he smiles brightly.
"I was happy when I waked up and you was with me," he says. "I was 'prised."
"It was a nice surprise for me as well to wake up with my whole family here," I say. "How did you sleep, Mom, Dad?"
"Good. Thank you very much for the use of your apartment," she says. "Your father and I both feel grateful for the break."
"You guys can go home if you want," I say.
"No!" Tyler whines. "I like Gwamma and Gwampa with me."
"We aren't going anywhere, not until you get to go home, Beatrice," Dad says. Hearing this makes Tyler grin from ear to ear. "We don't want to be anywhere else but here with you and the kids right now."
"Okay," I say. "But if you need a break, please take it."
"We will," Mom says.
"Tyler and Tessa are going to daycare today," Tobias says. "Teagan will be staying with your mom."
"Has she eaten yet?" I ask.
"No, we haven't even tried," he says as he finishes dressing her. I hold my hands out and he gently places him in my arms.
"Hey, pretty girl, are you going to be good for you grandma today?" I ask as she grins at me. "I think I get you. You are the opposite of Tessa. She's my stress eating baby and you don't want as much."
"I never thought of it that way," Mom says. "But you're right about Tessa. I think she's gained at least a pound since Sunday."
"My poor girls," I say. I watch Peanut and know that she is in fact hungry so I ask Tobias for a blanket so I can nurse her.
"I was going to take Tyler to the cafeteria for breakfast," Tobias says. "Would you like me to change our plans?"
"No. I'm sure you haven't had a lot of one-on-one time these last few days. You go ahead and go. After Peanut finishes, I'm going to have someone help me with a shower."
"Would you like me to get you some breakfast?"
"That would be nice," I say. "Something light. Maybe a bran muffin and some fruit."
"I swear you are the only one who actually likes those bran muffins," Tobias says, turning up his nose.
"I think they're rather tasty," I say.
"Okay," he says as he leans down and gives me a tender kiss. I run my hand down his cheek as he kisses me. "I love you, Tris."
"I love you, too," I say as he moves the blanket away from Peanut and kisses her head then replaces it.
"Are you ready to go, buddy?" he asks.
"Yeah!" Tyler excitedly says. "Bye, Gwamma. I love you. I see you latew! Bye, Gwampa. I love you. I see you latew! Bye, Mommy. I love you. I see you latew!" He gives each of my parents a hug and kiss then has Tobias lift him so he can hug and kiss me.
"I love you, too, buddy," I say. "I'll see you later. You be good."
"I will! Bye!" He waves at everyone as Tobias carries him out into the hallway after kissing Tessa on the head. I chat with Mom and Dad about a little bit of everything while I finish nursing Peanut then hold Tessa until Isobel comes in to help me with a shower and getting dressed. I kiss the girls, hug my parents, then let Isobel wheel me across the hall and into my room.
"Do you think I'll be transferred to a regular room soon or will I be getting to go home soon?" I ask as I sit down on the thin mattress after I'm showered and dressed for the day in loose fitting clothes and a robe.
"Dr. Parrish and I have discussed it but a decision hasn't been made yet," she says. "It's handy to have your family directly across the hall."
"I know it probably doesn't seem fair that we are using two rooms but I wouldn't know what to do without knowing that they're safe just feet away."
"I totally understand," she says as she checks my hand wound. "I don't know what I would do if a lunatic threatened my entire family."
"It's not easy knowing that my kids were three of their targets," I say, gritting my teeth in anger. "That's unforgivable."
"Yes, it is," she says. A knock sounds on the door and Tobias sticks his head in the room.
"Are you decent?" he asks.
"You tell me," I tease in a flirtatious tone. He comes up to my bedside carrying a tray and leans over and gives me a quick, loving kiss.
"On that note, I will leave you two alone," Isobel chuckles as she walks out of the room.
"Well you know how to clear a room," he laughs. "Breakfast is served, love." He moves the tray table across my lap and puts down a plate with a bran muffin, a cup of yogurt, and a bowl of fruit and a bottle of milk.
"Thank you. This looks delicious. How was your breakfast with Tyler?" I ask as I take a bite of the moist muffin. I close my eyes and moan, it tastes divine.
"It was entertaining," he says as he opens my bottle of milk for me. "Of course, he wanted to sit with Uriah in case I forgot it was morning just this once and let him eat cake." He chuckles. "I didn't but he was happy to be with everyone. He missed you though. So did I. All our friends missed you, too. If you're feeling up to it, how would you like to have supper in the cafeteria?"
"It sounds like a wonderful idea but I'm not sure I'm up for that yet," I say. "The interrogation yesterday took a lot out of me. I hope I make it through all three today. What time is it anyway?"
"It's a little past 9:30. When you finish your breakfast we'll leave. Tyler and Tessa have both been taken to daycare. Your mom took Peanut to our apartment. I thought maybe the familiar surroundings would be good for her. Your father is in the auditorium greeting the different faction members. It's already filling up and not just with Dauntless members. I really didn't think there would be a big crowd but I was wrong. I think people are more curious to see the inside of the compound than the interrogations though. You should have seen the gawkers. It reminded me of visitation day, all the people walking around, mouth agape, staring at their surroundings."
"Just like every new initiate when they take in the understated beauty that is the Pit," I say as I push the tray of half eaten food away from me.
"Is that all you are going to eat?" he asks, worry creasing his forehead.
"I'm full," I say. "I already don't feel the greatest. I don't want to add a stomachache to the list."
"Did Isobel give you something for the pain?" he asks.
"She gave me a couple acetaminophen," I say. "It's taken the edge off the pain. I didn't want to sleep through the interviews so I didn't want anything stronger." He looks less than pleased with me. "For now."
"Alright," he finally says. "I know harping on you will only make matters worse but promise me one thing, Tris, if you get to feeling poorly you'll forget about the interrogations. I need you to get better." I sigh as I look at him.
"Okay," I say. "If I get to feeling worse, I'll come back to the infirmary." He moves the tray table out of the way and sits down next to me.
"I love you. It kills me that Olivia and Drew were able to get close enough to hurt you, and all I could do was stand there and watch them do it. I should have been able to protect you. That's my job."
"You take care of me every single day, Tobias Eaton," I say, running my fingertips down his cheek. "And if I'm not mistaken, you shot Drew … twice. If that's not protecting me then I don't know what is."
"They should both be dead," he says under his breath after he wraps his arms tightly around me. I run my arms up his back and into his hair, moving my mouth to his.
"I love you," I breathlessly murmur against his lips when we're both in desperate need of air.
"I love you, too," he says, tightening his grip on me, running his hands up and down my back.
"Yeah, yeah. We all love each other," Zeke says from just inside the door. Tobias groans but doesn't move away from me. He gives me a final kiss then turns toward his best friend with a steely glare. Instead of being intimidated, Zeke laughs.
"At least you have all your clothes on this time," he chuckles. My face goes red at the comment, and I hear a growl emanate from Tobias' chest. "Just kidding. Geez. Always so serious. You need to lighten up, my friend."
"What do you want?" I ask, sensing that Tobias isn't in the mood for Zeke's jokes.
"It's almost time for the interrogations," he says. "Everyone is there but you two." Tobias pulls his phone out of his pocket then looks at the clock on the wall.
"Well, shit," he mutters. "That clock is slow. We've got to go, love."
"Okay," I say. He pushes the wheelchair up beside the bed, and I lower myself into it then he quickly wheels me out of the infirmary, across the Pit floor, and into the auditorium. My eyes widen as I take in the number of people in the room, whose eyes all seem to be on me. I've never seen it this full.
"I'm sorry we're late," Tobias says. "The clock in Tris' room is slow."
"No worries," Jack says, reaching out to shake his hand. "Lauren has been brought in and is waiting preparation. I've talked it over with my fellow leaders and we would like to recruit you to help with the interrogations. I'll do the basic questioning and you will ask any questions about Porter's plan and Molly, Drew, Olivia, and Lauren's actions. If I have any additional questions, I will ask them at that time. Do you have any questions for me?"
"No, I don't but thank you for the opportunity to ask the questions. I appreciate it," he says. "Let me get Tris situated then I'll join you on stage."
"I'll go ahead and get her prepped for the interrogation so we can keep to our schedule." Tobias wheels me over next to an empty chair, which is meant for him. Dad slides over to fill it, and I'm thankful for his presence.
"I'll check on you in between interrogations," Tobias says. "Remember your promise."
"I will," I say. "You get us some answers."