„Hope is a dangerous thing to live with, Piper, it can be your best friend until it turns on you, rips out your heart and leaves you bleeding on the floor."
That was the last sentence that Piper had ever heard from the only other friend she ever had had next to Polly. They had been fourteen the last time she had seen her and it was one of her most precious but devastating memories.
She hadn't thought about Rory in months, had pushed the thoughts to the very back of her head, what hadn't been too hard, considering all the devastating new memories high school created for her every day. But as soon as she lay in bed that evening, Rory's words came to her mind and with them their whole story.
Hope is a dangerous thing to live with, Piper.
They had been lying in bed all morning, it was the first day of summer and the smell of holidays and free time had them silent and reverent.
Facing each other, their knees touching under the light blanket, they had been talking for hours, about their plans for the summer, about the lakes they wanted to visit, about the tours they wanted to do. They had talked and talked until their mouths were dry and they were running out of topics, then they just lay there in silence, enjoying the sun, that shined through Piper's bedroom windows and the fact that they didn't have to go to school.
Rory had her eyes closed, her brown shiny hair shimmered in the morning sunlight and Piper couldn't take her eyes off her. She always had admired and envied her friend, ever since kindergarden, she honestly thought that Rory was the most beautiful person in the world and in that very second she looked the most beautiful she had ever looked.
Piper took a flick of those hair between her fingers, playing with them until Rory opened her green eyes and looked right into Piper's heart. And silly fourteen year old Piper did the most stupid thing in her life, out of a impulse she bend her head forward, pressing her lips onto Rory's.
She felt the soft skin, that was warmer than the sunlight and it radiated through her whole body like a hot shower in cold winter.
Rory had opened her lips slightly, leaning in, bringing her body closer to her best friend, and for a second Piper's world stood still, she felt like the earth had lost it's gravity and all the clocks had stopped ticking.
And then, as if the clocks had to catch up the lost time, everything happened so fast, with a look of fright Rory pulled back and the gravity pulled harder on Piper than ever before.
They hadn't spoken for a whole week afterwards until Rory suddenly stood in front of Piper's door again and everything was like that one kiss never happened.
Well, at least they pretended like this one kiss never happened.
It took exactly 9 days for Rory to become the normal Rory again, joking around, being all bubbly and looking at Piper with her intriguing green eyes. And it took exactly 9 seconds for Piper to fall for her even deeper.
Piper was not gay, she repeated that line every night before going to sleep, but every day when the summersun shined through those amazing hair she couldn't think of anything else but the feel of Rory's soft lips. And every time Rory took her hand and smiled her beautiful smile that was only meant for Piper, it was like a shock through her whole body, that got her awake for the whole night.
Hope is a dangerous thing to live with, Piper.
And then there was this afternoon, Piper had watched Rory all day, had watched her swimming, had watched her reading, had watched her while she was laying on her back, eyes closed and the sun in her face and all the time she had just wanted to kiss her.
The whole way home Piper hadn't been able to concentrate on a single one of Rory's bubbly stories, instead she had been all focused on Rory's hand, dangling right next to her's, touching her's now and then.
After dinner with her family it had rang on the door and Piper had opened to find Rory standing outside in the rain that had started as if it wanted to emphasize the whole moment of Piper's devastation.
Piper knew the second she saw Rory's face.
Sitting on her bed, knees pulled under her chin, hugging herself to prevent falling apart, she had watched her best friend walk up and down in her room.
„Pipes" Rory started and her voice was close to crying, she was so different from the girl Piper knew so well and when she sat down on the bed facing Piper, the waterdrops that fell out of her hair couldn't really hide the tears that rolled down her face.
„We can't be friends anymore!" Rory whispered, breaking Piper's heart into a million pieces.
„But I love you" Piper whispered, saying what had been in her teenage head for weeks and Rory nodded, because she knew. „You're my best friend!" Piper was desperate.
„I'm not gay. I can't be!" Rory had still been crying but she had tried hard to gain back her composure.
„I'm not gay either!" Piper's face was covered in tears now and the pain inside her heart got nearly unbearable „I'm sorry I kissed you!" she grabbed Rory's hand „Please stay!"
But Rory pulled her hand away slowly „I can't, Piper" she said under tears.
„But I love you" Piper cried once more, as if only that would be enough.
„What do you expect from me Piper? Being gay is a sin! It's against god!" Rory's parents had never made it a secret how little they thought of Piper's non-religious family, but Rory had never cared about that, so this excuse hit Piper only harder.
„I'm not gay!" Piper cried out once more „Why can't we just be friends? Please!"
Rory was fighting back her tears.
„I can't be friends with you anymore Piper!" she whispered, not able to look her in the eye.
„But we've been through everything together! I've hoped that we could survive a kiss!"
„Hope is a dangerous thing to live with, Piper, it can be your best friend until it turns on you, rips out your heart and leaves you bleeding on the floor."
And that was it, Piper hadn't seen Rory again, she hadn't come back to school afer summer, instead Piper had heard that her parents had sent her to a boarding school.
Piper had never felt more alone as in the time after that and it had took her a year until she was able to spend a day without crying about her best friend.
Piper wasn't gay. That was what she had always told herself.
She never had had feelings for another girl than Rory, to be specific, she had never had feelings for anyone other that Rory, boy or girl!
But now there was this dangerous spark of hope in her heart and a even more dangerous spark of desire.
She had spent just one hour with Alex but even before that she had felt that something awful would happen to her. And here she was with those awful feelings. She had lied when she had said she had never been confused by a girl. There was a girl who confused her more than every boy could ever do. Herself.
That night Piper cried herself to sleep, she cried over herself, over Rory, over their friendship and over her whole miserable life.
Only when Cal snuggled in, she was finally able to find some sleep.
The next day school was a disaster, she had to try so hard not to fall asleep during lessons and while the rare occassions she was awake enough for her brain to be working, all her thoughts kept revolving around Rory.
It had been three years and now it all felt like yesterday.
The only good thing this day was that Alex wasn't there to stare wholes into her neck. She was probably skipping school but Piper really hoped she was sick. Of course it was bad wishing someone else to be sick but Piper felt so vulnerable right now that she wasn't sure if she could survive seeing her today.
On the other hand, Piper liked to believe that maybe Alex would have intervened, as Nichols had pushed her against her own locker in the break, pressing her face into the cold metall until Piper had fumbled two 20 dollar notes out of her pocket, giving it to her.
Her nose had been bleeding into the toilet boil, while she was sticking her finger down her throat to get rid of the humiliated feeling inside her chest.
Her whole body felt like somebody had ripped her skin off and cut deeply into her flesh. Her whole body consisted of pain.
The last lesson she spent crying in her car, for the first time she had skipped class but right now she couldn't care any less.
She still sat in her red Ford Escape, when the school was already over, she just couldn't bring herself to drive home, she couldn't face her mother today.
She would stay in her car for the rest of her life and wait for death.
Just when she had made this life changing decision, her phone made the awful sound of reality and what was left of her heart crumbled into a billion pieces in the size of atoms.
She looked on her phone as if it was her death sentence and was disappointed that it wasn't.
From: Alex
Where are you? Letting me wait again?
Her death sentence would have been less gruelsome. At least it would have set an end to her misery.
Like the last time she considered leaving again, running of, but she had no idea where she should run to.
At home was her mother and the ghost of Rory in every corner of the house.
So maybe Alex was the lesser evil.
She typed an answer into her phone, before locking her car and hurrying towards the prop room, while her inner self was trying to run in the opposite direction.
When she climbed over the wall board she already heard Alex walking up and down, and the picture of Rory walking to and fro in her room flashed her mind, she pushed it away and attempted a smile as a hello.
„Hi!" Alex smiled back at her while keeping to look through the row of costumes hanging on the clothes rail.
„I thought you were sick!" Piper let herself sink on the couch, pulling her knees under her chin. She watched Alex trace her fingers over a dark heavy velvet-dress.
„Nah. Just was not in the mood for school!" Alex said casually.
„I get that!" Piper mumbled, not taking her eyes off the dark haired girl. It looked nearly tenderly how Alex let the fabric run through her fingers and when she beamed a smile towards the blonde girl, Piper felt something like warmth inside for the first time that day.
„So. History?" Piper asked, pulling the book out of her bag „Should we start?"
Alex smiled again and nodded towards Piper, going on looking through the dresses and costumes.
„What's the topic? Second world war?"
Piper nodded back at Alex, she actually felt better since she was up there in the familiar surrounding, together with Alex.
She opened the book as Alex took the velvet-dress of the hook and disappeared behind the row of clothes.
„What are you doing?"
„Just start the lesson, I'm totally listening! Ask me anything" Alex muffled voice came from the back of the room.
Piper couldn't help herself she just had to laugh at Alex's challenging tone.
„Ok! So second World War, when did it start?"
„September 1939" Alex voice was still huffed, as she were rustling around with the dress.
„And the end?"
„Germany officially capitulated at the eighth of May in 1945. Hitler had killed himself at the 30th of April and his successor killed himself a day later. The last troops in Berlin capitulated second of May after the troops of the Allies had freed Paris in 1944 and had invaded Germany by crossing the Rhine in March 1945. How do I look?" Alex appeared from behind the clothes rail again, wearing the red velvet-dress, that fit her like it had been made for her.
Piper sat there opened mouthed. She knew how dumb she must look right know but she just couldn't help herself. She didn't know what shocked her more: Alex's knowledge about second world war or her stunning look in that dress.
„So bad?" Alex's eyes were insecure and Piper couldn't help but notice how cute that was.
She circled her finger in the air signaling Alex to turn around and to her surprise Alex actually did so.
It looked stunning how the dress swirled around Alex long legs as she circled around on her black white striped socks. Piper couldn't help laughing, and it was like medicine to her soul.
„Gorgeous!" she laughed „Especially if you wear your combat boots to it!"
Alex showed her her middle finger and disappeared again.
„Who were the Allies?" Piper were still grinning from ear to ear, a feeling she had nearly forgotten about.
„Oh come on, seriously? UK, USA, USSR, France, though they only joined in 1944, and China. At least they were the main Allies. The original Allies from 1939 were France, UK and Commonwealth and Poland. Though the occupation forces and therefore the Allies YOU wanna know from me were UK, USA, France and USSR!"
Alex let herself fall on the couch next to Piper, wearing her black Jeans again along with the white long sleeve shirt and a black jeans jacket.
Piper turned around to face Alex, looking at her curiously.
„What?" Pushing her glasses to the top of her head, Alex rised her eyebrows, piercing Piper with those green eyes.
„Why do you know all that? I thought you weren't good at school"
Alex shrugged her right shoulder, smirking at the blue eyed blonde „I read a lot" she stated in her dark raspy voice, sending shivers down Piper's spine.
„Then why do you need tutoring?" Piper felt insecure by how close Alex was sitting to her, she only would have to outstretch her arm to touch the other girl, so she fastly pushed her hands under her own legs to prevent herself from doing somehing stupid.
Alex looked at her with those Rory-like eyes „You really wanna know?"
Gee, I think I grew fond of those "Cliffhanger"-like Chapter endings :D
Please tell me what you think of this Chapter, tell me what you think about Rory! Should I try to write more flashbacks scenes including her?
And of course thanks for your reviews, I love reading all of those, it's kind of a reward for my writing and you really make me smile with them :) So thank you guys XXX