I'm sorry it's taken so long to post another chapter, life kinda sucks at the moment. I have been working up to my eyeballs for the last couple of weeks, and I unfortunately had to attend 2 funerals in 2 weeks, both family members, so yeah life kinda sucks at the moment. :(

But hey, here is my latest chapter, and I hope to get things evened out a bit now. I have my official days off at work sorted, and *fingers crossed* I won't be attending any more funerals anytime in the future.

Chapter 4

Severus entered his quarters after spending the remainder of the afternoon with his extended family. The children had insisted on having their uncle with them for dinner, since there was very few people left in the castle there was no reason for a formal dinner in the great hall, so they simply had dinner in the Potter family's quarters. As was the norm whenever they got together, the evening was filled with laughter and stories. The group told Severus stories from their holiday, and in turn Severus told them all the stories from the castle while they had been away. It was around 10 when they children began to get sleepy. Ava had been yawning of a few hours, but the thought of spending time with her favourite uncle, gave her the will power to stop from closing her eyes and falling asleep. But once the others started yawning their parents decided to call it a night. Picking up his present Severus said goodnight to everyone, and after telling the children one last story, he left and headed back to the dungeons.

His quarters were cold and dark when he returned. Unlike the decorated quarters of the Potter's, Black's, Lupin's and Longbottom's; Severus's quarters were very bare. The walls were not painted still having their grey brickwork colour, the floors were covered in a very dark wooden floor boards, and his furniture was a dark chocolate colour, again almost black. He had numerous book shelves lining the walls all covered in books of varying sizes and colours. His bedroom however was another story. Although his bed covers were still dark in their colouring, his walls were lined with pictures both moving and still images. Most were of all over the group at various stages of their lives, but in nearly all of the picture was Rachel in one way or another. Severus's bedside table was covered with images of the young witch.

Sighing he shrugged off his cloak and hung it back up in his wardrobe, and slipped out of his shoes leaving them by the wardrobe as he normally did. Shrugging off the rest if his clothes he slipped into his en-suite and showered. Once clean he slipped on his pyjamas and entered his living quarters again, and lit the fire. Settling down into one of the comfortable chairs, he poured himself a small fire whiskey and settled down with a book.

Severus could have been reading for only half an hour when he heard a noise. A small sound which normally wouldn't have bothered a soul, but since Rachel's disappearance Severus had been on his guard at all times. His eyes suddenly widened and his reached for his wand. Once he had a firm grip on the wooden object he continued to read trying to act as if he wasn't aware of the intruder in case they tried the element of surprise on him. After another minute Severus could hear the noise getting closer and closer until it was almost directly behind his chair. Quicker than a flash Severus had risen from his chair and turned pointing his wand at the intruder. His eyed widened with shock when he caught sight of who it was. The book he had been reading dropped to the floor with a bang, which seemed to echo around the quite room.

"Ra... Ra... Rachel?" Severus managed to stutter. He caught sight of the woman in front of him. Her long black hair fell to the middle of her back tied in a loose plait, tied with her signature blood red hairband. Her blue eyes shone out over the room gazing lovingly at him. She wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a simple grey t-shirt which helped to show off her curves and highlight the woman she had become. She smiled at Severus.

"Hello my darling, I've come home."

For a moment Severus couldn't move, his eyes were transfixed on the woman in front of him daring himself to believe she was actually standing in front of him. As if she was reading his mind she moved to hug the man, to which Severus quickly responded, by hugging her close and holding her so tightly he was sure he must have been cutting off her ability to breathe.

"I've missed you so much." He said trying and failing to fight off the tears which were now pooling from his eyes. Rachel simply smiled.

"I've missed you too sweetheart, but I'm back now and I'm never going away again." Severus's lips soon found hers and covered them, drawing all the passion he could and forcing it into he kiss. Suddenly he felt something in the back of his mind.

He pulled away from the kiss to look directly into the eyes of the woman he loved.

"Show me your arm." He said. Rachel looked confused.

"Darling why on earth would you ask that? I'm here after being gone for so long; surely you might want to see something more than my arm?" She said with a suggestive smirk. Severus simply grabbed her arm and lifted it to the light.

"Just as I thought, no mark, you're not her, you are not my Rachel!"

The woman pulled her arm away, her whole body language changing. Her original warm and kind feeling left, and was replaced by a cold and hardened stare.

"And whose fault it that?" Severus's grip tighten.

"Who are you?" The woman smiled.

"You let me down. You claimed to love me, yet you let me get captured, you let me get taken away." She said her voice rising higher and more angry with each word. Severus felt his sub conscience agreeing with the poisonous words spilling from the woman's mouth.

"I tried to find you." He tried to reason with the woman but she interrupted him.

"And yet I am still missing! You obviously didn't try hard enough." She began to advance on him, causing Severus to retreat.

"You promised me you would always have my back, and that nothing could ever harm me while you were around, and look what happened to me, I have been gone for nearly 10 years and you have all forgotten about me!"

"That's not true!"

"Oh yeah, you may have searched for me once, but when was the last time you went to find me, properly searched for me, hey Severus. Well answer me!" The woman shouted. Severus found himself backed into he corner of his living quarters his back to the wall, his eyes transfixed on the woman how with her face almost pressing against his.

"I...I..." Severus found he couldn't answer her.

"Your pathetic you know that. I can't believe that I ever though I could care about you. You are a waste of space; you don't deserve to breathe the same air as those who have accomplished something great in their lives. If you were an animal they would have put you down the day you were born. No wonder your own father hated you!" Severus felt each word cut deeper into his already crumbling soul.

"You deserve nothing from anyone, the rest of the group don't care about you, the only reason they put up with you in the first place was because I took pity on you. Now they have no reason to keep hanging out with you, you are simply a waste, a lost puppy clinging onto anyone who will throw him a scrap of food. They have no reason to like you, and I know they hate you, just as much as I do." Severus felt himself sliding down the wall, until he felt his bum hit the cold and hard floor.

"I never loved you, you were simply a charity case I chose to help, but even I know a lost cause when I see one." She pulled back away from Severus.

"Maybe I should finally put you out of you misery." She smiled a horrific smile as she reached for her wand.

"Avada Kedavra!" She screeched pointing her wand at Severus who closed his eyes awaiting his death.

Severus suddenly jolted awake. He took in his surroundings. He was alone in his living room, the fire was dying down and his book had slipped to the floor.

"It was a dream." He said aloud as he ran a hand over his sweat covered face. "Just a dream." It wasn't the first time he had dreamt that Rachel had appeared in his dreams and accused him of not trying hard enough to find her. Each time she appeared she would hurl abuse at him till she was blue in the face, and they she would end each dream with an attempt to kill him, or as she sometimes put it "to make you feel a fraction of the pain you have caused me." Severus bent down and picked up his book. He knew that there would be no way he would be able to get back into a good nights sleep now. Rising from he chair he placed the book back on the shelf and extinguished the fire, leaving the room in darkness. Muttering a spell he found the whole quarters were now bathed in a soft glow. He headed towards his bathroom, where he spent a few minutes splashing cold water onto his face, to try and sort himself out. Removing his head from the sink, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His pale skin seemed paler; his black eyes seemed to be cold and hurt. He could still hear Rachel's accusing voice playing over and over in his head. "You are a waste of space. Your own father hated you. I took pit on you. A charity case. I never loved you." He opened his bathroom cabinet and took out a vial of dreamless potion which he downed in one. Putting the vial back in the cabinet, he slowly walked back to his bed before getting comfortable under the covers. He turned to stare at the pictures of Rachel.

"I will find you Rachel. Or I will die trying, I love you my soul mate." And with that he fell into an uneasy sleep.

And there we go another chapter. Again sorry for the length of time it's taken to post. We will be introducing Jenny to two very familiar magical people next chapter *hint hint*, and hopefully we will all be back at Hogwarts together soon :)

As always please read and review, and enjoy the chapter.

Beth xxx