Summary: Patsy and Delia's relationship is tested.
Disclaimer: Call The Midwife belongs to the BBC and others - I am simply borrowing their beautiful characters.
Author's note: Your lovely feedback has, as ever, spurred me to update. Thank you.
Trixie was really rather perplexed by the whole situation. She had stepped in at the clinic so that she could work with Dr Parker and hopefully see what it was that had Delia so discombobulated. What she had discovered so far, was that the Doctor was genial and polite, professional to the core and had an almost crusader-type fixation with wanting to improve sanitary standards and living conditions for the people of the East End.
The blonde nurse could easily see why Patsy got on so well with her; their attitude to work was identical. Perhaps it really was a case of Delia simply feeling a bit displaced by a new arrival and, if Trixie was right about their relationship, jealous of Patsy's connection with the doctor. Trixie wasn't convinced that Delia would irrationally be jealous however. The Welsh woman had overcome a whole host of hurdles to end up living under the same roof as Patsy. There was steely strength within that girl, despite her best attempts to hide behind cheeky grins and audacious comments. The midwife had a real fondness for the woman, especially as she made Patsy so happy. Added to that was Delia's innate ability to get on with everyone. She just always seemed to see the positive in people and focused on that.
So that left Dr Parker's private life to delve into. Trixie was finding this a rather harder nut to crack. She was used to Patsy clamming up and divulging nothing, but Dr Parker could give a master class in being taciturn. Trixie had tried subtly inquiring about whether there was a Mr or indeed another Dr Parker on the scene, but she had deflected the questions with practised ease.
That was the one thing that made Trixie truly suspicious. Only someone with something deep to hide was that good at avoiding. She knew that through bitter experience. Unfortunately, Trixie only had the moments between patients to take her opportunities to make enquiries, which meant very little time to develop a conversation that could lead to a more detailed line of questioning. It didn't help that the clinic was so busy. There had been a number of unplanned visits that needed to be squeezed in that had reduced downtime to minimal levels.
Trixie was nothing if not persistent however. Now that her own interest had been piqued, she would have to find a way to get Dr Parker to open up but it would have to be away from the clinic when it was too easy to hide behind the next appointment.
Patsy was grateful the clinic had been busy during the day. It had made the time fly by and, other than a brief conversation with Dr Parker, she really hadn't had time to think about the situation with Delia. Patsy was determined to get things back on an even keel with her lover. She hated that Delia was hurting, even if she couldn't understand why. Dr Parker had been solicitous during the day, but other than a general enquiry as to how she was, had left her alone. Patsy certainly hadn't detected anything more than a worried query. Neither did she sense or see the woman looking at her in an inappropriate or overly interested way.
Patsy just couldn't see what Delia's problem was with her. She had no problem with Trixie or Barbara. Why was the doctor anathema to her?
As she helped clear the table after dinner, Patsy glanced at the clock. She was on call tonight, and Delia wasn't home yet. She just hoped the phone didn't ring before they had a chance to speak. Patsy carefully selected a plateful of leftovers and put them in the fridge. She knew that Delia's shift would mean it unlikely that she had eaten much at work, and after seeing her not bother with breakfast, she was anxious that she did not skip another meal. She explained as much to Barbara when she looked at her questioningly.
"How thoughtful of you," Barbara commended. "Just make sure you let sister Monica Joan know there's no cake under that plate or I'm certain it will go missing."
Patsy grinned. "Already ahead of you." The grin turned into an affectionate smile. "Actually, once I told sister Monica Joan that it was for Delia, I rather got the impression she was going to guard it against anyone else's interests."
Barbara giggled. "Yes, she does have a soft spot for Delia." They finished kitchen duties before the younger nurse excused herself so that she could get ready for an evening out with Tom. Patsy made herself busy by checking the kit bags in the clinical room and once she was satisfied that everything was to her exacting standards, she made herself a cup of tea and continued to clock watch, knowing that Delia should be home some time after 8pm.
Unfortunately, the mothers-to-be of Poplar did not want to comply with Patsy's wishes and she found herself out on a house call just before Delia was due to return. She dashed upstairs and left a short note on Delia's pillow apologising for her absence but there was little more she could do.
When she returned to the convent much later that night, she replenished her bag and dealt with her used kit, making sure she was ready to go again if necessary, before creeping upstairs. The convent was quiet as it was so late, so Patsy decided it was probably worth the risk to see if Delia was still awake. She would be able to hear the phone from her room if it rang.
The tall midwife looked down the corridor and noticed a bar of light at the base of Delia's door so tapped lightly before opening it. Delia was hunched up at the head end of the bed, resting a book on bent knees. She looked up and smiled hesitantly.
Patsy looked at the brunette for a moment and took note of the almost visceral reaction she had whenever she saw her. Delia really did make her heart pound sometimes. She looked totally adorable in a pair of oversize pyjamas; ones she realised belonged to her. Patsy raised an eyebrow. "When did you steal them?"
Delia blushed and looked down at her night attire guiltily. "After I saw you when I finished my night shift the other week. I did have them tucked under my pillow, but I felt like wearing them tonight."
Patsy smiled and came over to sit on the bed. "Did you at least eat tonight?"
Delia shrugged. "A bit. I wasn't really that hungry."
Patsy wanted to scold Delia, and remind her that she needed to eat, but the brunette looked so forlorn, she didn't have the heart to talk about anything that could make her feel worse.
"How do I make this better, Deels?" She asked softly.
Delia didn't answer, her book bouncing to the floor, forgotten as she launched herself to fiercely hug the taller woman. Patsy instantly reciprocated, and the two women sat clinging to each other for some moments before finally pulling apart.
Patsy played with Delia's hair, before tucking it behind her shoulder. "I hate seeing you like this Deels. What do I do to make you feel better?"
Delia shook her head. "I know it's my own stupid insecurities Patsy." At the red-head's raised eyebrow she huffed. "You're not the only one who has them you know."
"Delia, I've never seen you waver when talking about us. It's the thing you've always been so strong about."
Delia looked down and picked at the bedspread nervously. "That's not exactly true, Pats. Look how I was when my mother insisted I go home to Wales."
Patsy winced. "That was a difficult situation, but I never doubted how you felt about me. I still don't," she hurriedly continued, seeing Delia's eyes snap up.
"I don't doubt you either, Pats. I promise you that." She sighed, wondering how to explain her irrational thoughts. "This is where my insecurities come in." She shrugged slightly. "I guess I keep thinking that you are completely out of my league and I'm waiting for you to realise that."
Patsy looked genuinely shocked. She opened her mouth to respond and then closed it again as she tried to comprehend what Delia had just said and then barked out an exasperated laugh. "Delia Busby, you are an idiot. I don't want anyone else. There is no league to be in. And the truth is, I feel exactly the same way. Why on earth would someone as vibrant, confident and outwardly loving as you, ever want to be trapped in a relationship with someone who second guesses every move, touch or comment, just in case it could give our feelings away."
Delia stared at the taller woman for a moment before shaking her head again. "I think we're both idiots in that case." She paused again and then returned to worrying the bedspread as she continued in a small voice. "Hearing you talk about Dr Parker with such admiration and enthusiasm got to me," she admitted. "I'm not a doctor. I've not had boarding school education, or ever lived in those sort of circles. I'm just a nurse from the country." She huffed. "How do I compete with that?"
Patsy shifted position so that she could wrap her arms round the younger woman. She waited until Delia burrowed in slightly, getting comfortable before kissing the top of her head. "You don't have to compete Delia. I detest those circles. It's all superficiality and oneupmanship. I couldn't bear it when I had to endure it, and I can't bear it now." She kissed Delia again. "You however, are honest, and open, and have absolutely no interest in scoring points or artificially competing with anyone." She shuddered slightly. "Going back to the carping and endless politics of those social circles abhors me. So please don't think you have anything to prove, and please, please don't change."
Delia revelled in the comfort of Patsy's arms, while paradoxically feeling a fool again. She could feel the love radiating from her, and felt a wry smile tug at her lips. No wonder Patsy sought her out whenever she needed comfort; she felt secure and safe in her arms. "I hate jealousy," she murmured, with feeling. "It turns me into a horrible person."
Patsy shook her head before bestowing another kiss on Delia. "Have you ever been jealous before?" She asked, unsure where this curiosity sprang from.
"No, never." She looked up and pecked Patsy's lips quickly before snuggling back into her safe cocoon. "I've never felt so strongly about anyone else before." She thought a bit longer. "I've never had someone I couldn't bear to lose." There was more to it, but Delia's mind was befuddled through lack of sleep and she was finding it hard to grasp the right words.
"You won't lose me," Patsy vowed quietly.
The two women held each other for long moments, revelling in each other's nearness and finding long-needed comfort. Eventually, Patsy could feel Delia sag into her. Patsy moved back slightly and lifted Delia's chin so they could see each other. "You're exhausted. I know we've got more to talk about, but I don't want to do this when we're both tired and I can guarantee that we'll get interrupted by the phone so how about we lay down for a while and make sure we set some time to really go through what's bothering us both?"
Delia nodded and shuffled down the bed making room so that Patsy could lie down with her. The midwife hesitated for a second, and then lay down on top of the covers, like they used to do back at the nurses home.
Delia threw an arm across Patsy's waist and snuggled in behind her. "You promise we'll talk?" She mumbled, feeling the pull of sleep already drawing her in.
Patsy clasped the younger woman's hand in her own. "Yes. But I want some proper time to do this, so we can get everything out." She sighed as she felt her own body relaxing. "And I thought the hardest part of our relationship was trying to keep it secret." She heard Delia chuckle softly at that as she closed her eyes to rest, just for a moment.
To be continued...
Author's note 2: I hope this appeases all those lovely reviewers who just wanted Deels to get a hug!