Author's Note: These next two chapters were harder to write then I thought they would be, but I finally got them done with much help from my lovely beta BMG. The next chapter IS written but I am going through polishing off some rather rough edges on it as I am not as familiar with things in the UK. I hope to have that up in the next day or two at the most! Thank you all for sticking with this as long as you have, things are finally starting to wrap up for this story.
The nightmares had returned.
It really should have been no surprise to either of them, but Donna especially had been startled awake that first night by the faint cries of anguish echoing through her mind.
She had lain beside the Doctor as he had clutched her tightly to him; his voice hoarse as he sometimes begged and pleaded with faceless people to choose another way. She caught faint flashes of his planet burning and the screams of his people as they were condemned to the void by his own hand. He was lost in the hell of his own terribly long life, and nothing she could do seemed to stir him from the clutches of his demons.
The Doctor stood on the precipice of that most terrible choice and though he frantically searched for any other way to counter Rassilon's madness, he knew that there was none. His people had gone completely insane; the universe was going to pay the ultimate price for that insanity and as he had done countless times before, he made the decision to end it all.
He raged in his own mind, screaming in defiance of the end that was nigh and yet knowing that if he had it to do all over again, he would change nothing. People would die for him and his continued good fortune, and there was nothing he could do to change it. A part of him was filled with guilt when he realized that he could no longer even regret the chance that he had been given. For once in his life, he was allowing himself to be incredibly selfish and cling to the boon that the universe had seen fit to grant him.
Donna was lying in bed on the morning of their final day on Bellatrix Prime while her fingers lightly stroked through the Doctor's sleep tousled hair; her thoughts strangely unable to connect with the his even though she could feel him sometimes shouting angrily in his dreams. It was like he had retreated into a hell of his own creation, where the memories of all the blood that he had been forced to shed in the name of the higher good was rising swiftly to drown him. She could feel him calling out to her when it seemed that the tide would be too much; his mind reaching out and connecting with hers briefly so that he could wrestle some control back before he would slip into slumber once more.
She had been awakened from a quiet slumber several hours earlier by the rough caresses of the Doctor's hands, his eyes had been slightly wild as he had been whispering to her in disjointed Gallifreyan. He had not seemed to be completely aware of where he was or even that he was fully awake; he had only known that he could find comfort in her embrace and so he had blindly sought to lose himself in her.
She had held tightly to him, her body opening willingly even as her hands soothed the savage intensity from his touch so that he was able to look at her through love darkened eyes. His mind reached out to hers with a softly whispered confession of love before he was yanked back into the clutches of his nightmares.
The planet would not release him from its embrace easily, and so Donna continued to lay with him as he struggled to fight the demons that the augers had knowingly awakened within him. She found that she couldn't even be angry at them, though she had soundly cursed their timing. The Doctor, of course, would never sit still with the possibility that out there someone was suffering because of him.
They had spent two more days on Bellatrix Prime to try to make sense of the words of the augers and though the Doctor was fairly certain who the Phoenix was referring to, it was the others that had been mentioned that concerned him the most. He hated not having all the answers, and he especially hated depending on people who for the moment were an unknown quantity to him.
Donna he trusted without question. Jack, Martha, Mickey and even Daniel had all proven themselves to be trustworthy, but something told him that the prophecy had not been referring to them. He had been running the words over and over in his mind, mulling over the different possibilities until he thought he would go mad.
Donna and he had spent hours sitting and talking together about what those words actually meant and to see if either of them had missed anything, but it was like talking around circles with nothing ever coming to light.
He had spent hours each day deeply immersed in the consciousness of the Tardis, the both of them running through countless calculations to try to find areas of instability that might herald the coming storm. She continued to scan through the timelines, knowing that time at this moment was in total flux and that anything might be the spark needed to start the blaze.
So far the Tardis had been unable to find anything definitive, but she continued to scan the universe in the hopes of finding something before it was too late. She hadn't liked the effects that the augers words had had on her thief; the pain in his mind was too reminiscent of those days of madness when Donna had been lost to him.
Donna for her part had stayed quietly in the back of his mind, lending her strength where she could but otherwise letting the two of them fly through all the realms of possibility. She could tell that at this time he was feeling the constraints of prophecy even more than when he had been running from that near certain death and unfortunately it did not seem likely that he would be given another chance to side step fate.
The pulsing of the Nexus was relatively quiet this morning and had been for the last two days while they had been left alone in their rooms. It seemed as if the whole planet had been aware of the words of the augers and so it had waited with baited breath to see how fast and how far the Doctor would try to run.
Donna continued to stroke the Doctor's temples, though it seemed like he had finally settled into a quieter and mercifully dreamless slumber. His desperate hold on her had loosened and his breath slowly evened out into the quiet rhythm that she had come to associate with his deeper sleep.
She breathed out a sigh of relief that it seemed the worst of the storm had passed for the time being and so she turned her gaze towards the large bay window that overlooked the canyon below. The gentle pulsing of power through the walls no longer distracted her, and so she was able to see that something had changed in the sky over the canyon.
Hardly daring to believe what she was seeing, Donna carefully disentangled herself from the Doctor's embrace, chuckling softly when he grumbled at the loss of her warmth before she pulled the blankets up over him and made her way to the window for a better look.
The dance of energy in the canyon seemed to have shifted from its regular patterns and was swirling and surging in a way she hadn't seen before, but it was the soft bluish glow on the far horizon that caused her to gasp in sweet surprise. The energy of the canyon seemed to be dancing towards that faint glow, little fingers of power licking off the mountaintops to be lost in the emptiness of the sky above.
The inky black of the sky was suddenly broken with the gentle blush of light that was steadily growing stronger as it seemed the long forgotten sun was finally returning to these frigid climes. The smudge of color slowly spread through the lower quarter of the sky, momentarily overpowering the rosy glow of the nebula overhead.
Donna didn't even realize that she had tears streaming down her cheeks as she watched the light hover so beautifully in the darkness. Soft lines of white shot out from the growing brightness, piercing the wispy clouds overhead before she noticed the lines were already beginning to fade again. Her eyes slid closed as she remembered everything that the Doctor had told her of the arctic twilight on this world; the faint blush would grow stronger day by day as the sun slowly made its way back to the north, before finally one glorious day it would break over the horizon again in glorious promise.
She didn't realize how much she had missed the sunlight and how the strange day and night cycle of the planet had seemed to trap her in an endless loop of joy and despair. She turned to look back at the Doctor, jumping slightly when she saw his sleepy eyes staring right at her. She hadn't bothered with a robe when she had gone to investigate the strange sight at the window and for the first time in a while, she felt a rosy flush stealing over her body as he stared at her with rapt adoration.
"I didn't feel you wake up, Doctor."
He smiled softly as, heedless of his own nakedness, he threw the blankets aside and came to join her at the window. He wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her back to his chest while he took in the breathtaking sight before them. "I felt you leave the bed, but I wasn't ready to wake up just yet." Truthfully, he had taken advantage of the chance to watch her stand framed in the window, her body lit by the glow of the Nexus surging around her. He felt like a man reborn after a walk through the deepest pits of hell and it was thanks to her unwavering support that he knew he would be able to move forward with his head held high.
Donna reached up to him, her hands sliding over his arms to hold him close to her before she leaned her head back against her shoulder. "It's beautiful, Doctor. You had described it to me, but I didn't think that we would be able to see it before we left."
He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss into the crook of her neck, his arms tightening for a brief moment before he looked back out towards the fading twilight. "It feels almost like a promise after a long and terrible night. It is always darkest before the dawn, isn't it?"
She nodded softly, her head falling to the side to give him better access before she murmured. "You seem refreshed finally, Doctor. Have you beaten the nightmares for now?"
The Doctor nodded softly, his eyes sliding closed as a shudder ran through his body before he clutched her tighter against him. "For now, Donna, I have. Not to say that they won't return, but for the time being I have found my focus again and will do what I must to make sure that as few people as possible suffer because of me."
Donna turned around in his arms, her arms reaching up to slide around his neck before she rose on tiptoes to look him straight in the eye. "I will stand beside you through it all, Doctor. Don't forget that you are never alone again so long as I'm alive."
He grinned in response to her words, the shadows for the time being melting from his eyes as he held her close against him. "I'm counting on that, Donna. I've done all that I can within the confines of their damn prophecy and now I just have to wait and see what the universe will throw at us." His arms tightened briefly before he murmured. "It may not be easy but I've come to realize that we can't live our lives in fear of what might be coming. I made that mistake too many times in the past and it nearly cost me everything. It's time to seize the moment and prepare as best we can."
Donna just nodded at his words, her fingers stroking along the nape of his neck in a soothing caress before looking back up into the turbulent depths of his eyes. "Let's go face that future, Doctor. We've got Christmas coming and I for one think we have something to celebrate."
The Doctor just groaned at the reminder, his forehead falling to rest against hers while he quipped. "Only you would think Christmas with your family would be something to celebrate."
She reared back in mock indignation, her sparkling eyes locking with his as she saw with relief that the last of the darkness had finally faded from his gaze. "You've been looking forward to seeing my Granddad, don't try to deny it for a second, Doctor!"
He nodded most emphatically and carefully turned her back about in his arms so that they could watch the promise of daylight as it slowly faded from the sky once more. "I have indeed been looking forward to it, Donna. I also think after all these parties you're so keen on dragging me to, it's time for that little trip with him to the stars."
Donna squealed happily when she heard that promise, her eyes sliding briefly closed as she thought of the wonder on her granddad's face when he stepped foot on a new world. "I can't wait for it, Doctor."
"Neither can I, Donna. Neither can I." The Doctor had wanted to share an adventure with Wilf even before Donna had been returned to him; now it would be made all the more precious because the three of them would be able to share it together.
The Doctor stood with Donna as slowly the twilight melted from the sky, the both of them reveling in the promise from that faint blush of sunlight. He had not realized how hopeless he had felt after the words of the augers had once more reminded him that his life was not his own. Donna had been his lifeline in the madness, reminding him of all the good that he had done for all of reality and in the end, he had pulled himself back from the abyss because of her calm presence.
She had stood as a beacon to him even when he had been lost in the insanity of the never ending screams and he knew that he would always be able to find solace in her loving embrace. For the first time in his terribly long life, he finally knew what it meant to no longer be alone.
For a being such as himself, there could be no greater comfort.
The rest of the morning was spent in a flurry of activity as the Doctor and Donna prepared to leave Bellatrix Prime and continue on to their next destination before finally making their way to earth for the Christmas festivities.
Their time on the planet had been filled with many discoveries about themselves and about the nature of their relationship, though it had definitely ended on a decidedly discordant note. The prophecy of the augers hung over their heads like the fabled sword of Damocles, promising that soon enough everything that they held dear would be sorely tested.
The Doctor especially was preparing the Tardis to begin another set of scans once they were safely back in the vortex as he couldn't be sure that the readings were not being inhibited by the power of the Nexus. He hadn't been lying when he had told Donna that he had come to peace with the nightmares, but that didn't mean that he was just prepared to sit back and let the universe have its way with him without a fight.
Donna was a quiet presence in the back of his mind, letting her concern be felt but making sure that she didn't overwhelm him with her fears. She had seen him in the depths of rage before and this was something that was altogether new and far colder than anything she had felt before. He had been changing since they had been reunited; his manic need to run headlong through the universe had been curbed and a new desire had grown in its stead. His love of simple traveling was reborn and it seemed even the Tardis was sharing in that desire. She had been flying far more true then she had in recent memory and they had only missed a few of their destinations in the last few months.
Donna knew it was because the universe was unusually quiescent because of the events in Kasterborous and as the augers had foretold dangerous times were brewing on the horizon. She let her senses flare out in for a brief moment, her eyes sliding closed while she immersed herself completely in the currents of the Nexus.
She was still learning to control this power, but she had finally found her center and the planet had shown her ways of understanding time that she knew even the Doctor couldn't quite grasp. The living force of the planet spoke to her with a lover's soft whisper; the ethereal touch along hidden pathways guiding her essence towards the path of discovery.
Donna gasped softly when her touch ghosted along a faintly glowing strand that seemed to eddy through the larger weave of time's new tapestry; a jarring note from the old order that was struggling to be felt once more. She tried to focus more clearly on that golden thread and follow its passage through the universe, but all too quickly it faded away to become lost in the chaos of chance.
A pair of cool hands fell on to her shoulders, causing her to jump in surprise before she realized it was the Doctor that had come up behind her. "Easy, Donna. It's been months since I've been able to sneak up on you like that. Are you alright?"
The Doctor frowned when he felt the scrabbling of her mind along the eddies of the Nexus, the frantic searching for something before she pulled her mind back and was able to turn her attention fully to him. "I'm fine, Doctor. It was just… something strange that I felt for a moment there."
His hands tightened on her shoulders for a brief, painful moment before he quickly turned her to face him, his eyes burning into hers with an intensity that had at one point been utterly terrifying and wholly alien. "What did you feel, Donna? Was it something to do with the auger's visit?"
The tension was nearly palpable in his body, his mind twining gently with hers to try to make sense of what she had felt but only finding faint impressions that made no sense to him. He couldn't have been more proud of all that she had achieved during their visit, but it still surprised him to realize that her perceptions of time could be so radically different from his own even though that perception came from the same Time Lord DNA that was now woven through her body. She had truly blossomed on this planet and the Doctor could not have been happier to see her finally find that balance and her own amazing spirit rise to its own full potential.
Donna shrugged in response to the Doctor's question, her gaze somewhat distant while her mind floundered to remember just where she had felt that sensation before. "I felt something in the Nexus, Doctor. It was a brief flash but there was something familiar. It looked like a timeline similar to the one that you saw on the Oodsphere, but this one was different. It… tasted like the old order did. It didn't have the same tang that our reality seems to have now." She looked up at him in confusion, her eyes trying to convey what she meant in a way that he would understand and not think that she was absolutely crazy. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that he had taken her words as serious as she had meant them, though he was at a loss to explain them.
The Doctor cocked a singleeyebrow at her words, the fact that she felt she could taste time meant that her skills had grown even more rapidly than he had imagined. The fact that she could tell the difference in the old timelines and the new was something that he had not expected, but also made him realize that there were even bigger forces at work in the universe. "Were you able to tell where you'd felt that timeline before? Any idea where you might've come into contact with it?"
Donna shook her head in frustration, her gaze suddenly turning cold and hard as she growled. "No, Doctor. None at all, though I know I'll recognize it again if we ever came across it. It felt important though, more important than almost anything I've ever encountered before." She sighed softly, her hands sliding down over his chest before she was able to finally raise her eyes to him. "I just don't know, Doctor. It's still all so new to me that I'm having trouble making sense of some of the things that I feel, but I can't shake the feeling that this is important."
He slid his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly against him before tilting her face up to his. "Don't blame yourself, Donna. I truly have never had as much warning as I have right now. I can only continue to do what I can to prepare us for what's coming, but you were so right when you said we can't live in fear of what that future might bring. I know that your skills have grown exponentially in the last two weeks and that you are still struggling to make sense of everything that you can now perceive, but that understanding will take time. In the interim, I don't blame you for not having every answer right away. Rassilon knows I rarely have all the answers and have to wing it with a hope and a prayer."
The lines around his eyes crinkled with his smile when he saw her roll her eyes in response to that comment, her mind opening up fully to his once more so that he could share in the strange feeling she had gotten when she first sensed that timeline before she leaned close and just rested her head against his chest. "I just wish it'd make more sense, Doctor. I wish that there was something that would point us in the right direction."
There was a soft knock on the door to their rooms that startled them apart; the Doctor's eyes narrowing when he made out the softly glowing shapes through the Nexus that were standing on the other side of the wooden barrier. "We will find it in time or we won't, Donna. Either way, we'll be facing it together."
She beamed up at him, her hand sliding down to grasp his as they made their way to the door just as another series of knocks sounded followed by a voice softly calling. "Doctor? We've come to wish you a fair journey."
The Doctor laughed softly when he recognized Nishtano's voice, his spirit joyous as he turned the handle on the door and threw it wide. Nishtano, Largana and Turano stood on the other side of the door; the latter two with nervous expressions though they didn't hesitate to meet the Doctor's gaze with calm certainty. Turano carried a wooden chest in his hands, the handles lovingly worked with intricate carvings while the wood of the box itself was polished to a brilliant luster. The Doctor knew exactly what was in that chest, and he smiled because Turano had personally delivered it to them. He had been half expecting to have to chase the talented lens maker down before they left the planet.
"Come in, Nish! We're just about ready to head out now, but I'm glad you were able to stop by before we made the jump into the Vortex."
Donna playfully slapped at the Doctor's arm when she saw the look of alarm on Nish's face, her eyes dancing with mirth before she responded. "Don't worry, Nishtano. I had no intention of letting him leave before we bid you all a proper farewell."
The Doctor just laughed softly at Donna's admonition, his arm extending to invite them all into the now empty room before he carefully pushed the door closed behind them. He was not eager for any more surprises and so made sure that anyone approaching the room would not be able to do so without first announcing their presence and intentions. "Please come in, all of you. We can visit for a little while longer before we must depart."
The Doctor and Donna led the way to the small seating area; the two of them settling onto a small settee while Nishtano, Largana and Turano all settled in chairs across from them. There was a tension in the three of them that the Doctor couldn't fail to miss; though he was not quite ready to leap right into what he knew they would most like to talk about. He focused his attention instead on the chest in Turano's hands; his eyes shining with curiosity before he blurted out. "Are those your lenses, Turano? I was getting worried that they wouldn't be ready before we had to leave!"
The lensmaker glanced to Nishtano, his tufted ears twitching nervously at the obvious ploy from the Doctor to change the subject before they could really broach it. He had wanted to come see the Doctor and Donna personally before the augers had visited them, but afterwards all of their people had very carefully steered clear of their chambers.
They did not know exactly what had been spoken to the Doctor, but it had been obvious by the waves of rage that had been echoing through the Nexus that the Doctor had not been well pleased with their visit. So, Turano had waited calmly until he would be called to visit with them so that he could show the Doctor just how well the lenses had indeed been formed.
Nishtano nodded imperceptibly to Turano, though Donna and the Doctor couldn't help but notice the undercurrent that passed between the males; Turano's ears standing straight once more when he turned his gaze back to the Doctor. "Yes, Doctor, these are the finished lenses. It was quite difficult to match the specifications that you gave me as that viewing scope is obviously ancient compared to the technology we possess on this planet, but I do believe that I managed to succeed within the required parameters." He held the wooden chest out to the Doctor, his clawed hands clutching the handles as he offered the box for the Doctor's inspection.
The Doctor sat up excitedly, his mind babbling senselessly in Donna's head until she could barely think straight while he reached out to reverently take the chest in his hands. She smiled softly at the gentle caress of his hand over the darkened, carved wood before he deftly worked the latch and lifted the lid to reveal its contents.
The inside of the chest was filled with a dark blue velvet like material that had been reinforced with some sort of rigid material into which slots had been cut and fitted. Four larger slots were obviously filled with the larger lenses as their bulbous shape filled the spaces perfectly. There was a pair of gloves in the same fabric as the lining that was nestled in the top of the lid and it was obvious that the gloves had been cut specifically for the hand of a humanoid. Nestled in five different shaped cut-outs were what looked to be various eyepieces made of different lengths and widths all cut to the same specifications as the lenses. The eyepieces were meant to work in concert with the upgraded lenses as they would take into account the change in focal length that such powerful lenses would be subjected to.
He looked up at Turano with a boyish grin; his fingers trembling as he carefully pulled the gloves onto his long, slender hands and carefully lifted the first convex lens into his hand. The lens seemed to flash with its own inner fire; the complex surface was completely free of any imperfections and the light that the lens caught was instantly refracted into its constituent colors.
Donna gasped as a bright rainbow of light arced across her chest, the color so richly vibrant that she almost thought that it wasn't real. She looked up at the Doctor with a soft smile, her eyes shining into his when she realized just how much her grandfather would love the gift that the Doctor had bought for him.
"Oh, Turano. It's absolutely perfect! There are no imperfections whatsoever in the glass, and I can feel its living energy humming through my fingertips." He carefully placed the lens back in its slot before he pulled out a concave lens and was once more taken aback by its utter perfection.
"What will this do to the magnification of the instrument that these are to be mounted in? You saw the specification of its size and shape so you must have some idea of what effect it will have."
Turano just smiled that slightly alien smile that still set Donna's nerves on edge; his eyes darting back and forth over the currents of energy that raced between the Doctor and Donna before he was able to respond. "It will not be as substantial as a scope even twice its size would be, but don't be surprised if the magnification is around 15 to 20 times what it is now. These eyepieces actually are the focus of that magnification as they allow the eye of the viewer to witness the light before it would otherwise naturally bend. These lenses are by far my best work so far." He couldn't help but laugh lightly when he saw the absolute wonder on the Doctor's face.
The Time Lord just grinned like a lunatic when he set the second lens back into its place before he nodded without thinking. "I can easily say that these are some of the best lenses that I've ever seen and they will be absolutely perfect for what we had in mind."
The Doctor stripped the gloves from his hands before he flipped the lid of the chest closed and latched it. Setting the chest aside, he smiled his gratitude and bowed formally from his waist. "I thank you, Turano, honored lensmaker, for these amazing lenses. I know that the recipient will get many pleasurable years out of their use."
Turano could only smile with satisfaction with the Doctor's words, his eyes sliding closed for a brief moment before he forced himself to meet the Doctor's darkly troubled eyes. "It was a challenge and an honor, Doctor. Thank you for allowing me to work on this project for you."
The tension between the three visitors seemed to rise in leaps and bounds once the Doctor and Turano were finished speaking; Largana especially was particularly tense as she remembered how the Doctor and the Seeress had been locked in a titanic battle of wills before she had managed to slip out of the room.
The tension that suddenly seemed to flow between the three Bellatraxians caused sadness to eddy through his mind before he fell back against the cushions of the sofa with a soft sigh. "You know then?"
It was Turano that nodded softly in response, even though he had not been in the room when the augers had come to visit, there had been no mistaking the power that had surged through the Nexus from the prophecy that had been spoken. The planet had tolled like a bell; the deep sonorous sound echoing of the changes in destiny that had just been heralded. "All Bellatraxians know that a new prophecy has been spoken, Doctor. There is no way to hide such an event from those of us that are so intimately bound to the energy of the planet."
Nishtano then turned to the Doctor; his alien eyes softening when he saw the shadows that haunted the Doctor's gaze. "We just came to see if you were alright after what happened, Doctor. The head Seeress does not come out of seclusion very often."
The Doctor just laughed mirthlessly, the tension in his body belying the very real urge he had to suddenly run for all he was worth. "Well, I guess I'm just a special kind of man. She made sure that I knew some things were coming and that I would be an integral part to those events. Nothing that I'm not used to by now, Nish. You know what my life has been like, that at least hasn't changed during all these long centuries."
Donna's head snapped around when she heard the Doctor's self-deprecating comment; the sarcasm dripping from his words caused her fingers to tighten in the cradle of his hand before she felt his other hand reach over and pat hers lightly in a motion meant to soothe. His words had been utterly polite, but there was no mistaking the hard, cynical bite to them. Once again, that armor was being pulled tightly around his soul before he got too close to anything.
Nishtano nodded softly, his gaze slicing to his two companions to quell any further questions they might have before he continued. "You came to this planet in peace and in search of healing and a place to teach and grow. I only wish that the events of the last few days have not tainted the love that you once had for this planet."
The Doctor leaned forward, his hands reaching out to grab Nishtano's in a tight grip through which he tried to convey all that he was feeling. "You and your planet have been a haven to me for more centuries then I care to count right now. Donna has also come to love this planet just as I have during my time here. I knew that I ran the risk of being burned by time when I came to a Nexus world, and not just any Nexus world but one that has been so inextricably bound to my life throughout the eons. Trust me when I say that we will most definitely be returning, Nish. It is not your fault that the universe used your augers to point the way." He laughed somewhat mirthlessly before continuing. "If it hadn't been your augers, it would've been visionaries on any of a hundred worlds across the universe. When a warning needs to be spoken, the vessel for that warning will manifest."
Donna looked to him with a soft look of utter sorrow, her mind quivering beneath the onslaught of his remorse over all the twists and turns his long life had taken. He knew well enough that he would not have been able to escape this destiny and at least with the Bellatraxians he knew that the words they spoke would be heeded. She turned to the three who were sitting across from her, her eyes shining as she murmured. "I can't thank all of you enough for the warm welcome that you gave to us and to me when I first arrived. I don't know if I told you, but these new abilities had been completely overwhelming and terrifying to me. I didn't know how I would ever cope or if I would go mad before I ever found the chance, but it was seeing how you connected so easily to the amazing power of this planet I knew that I had to try."
Largana leaned forward and took Donna's hands within hers, her fingers stroking softly along the energy that always wreathed her body before she looked up at Donna with a soft, alien smile. "You have found peace on our world, Donna Noble. You have been granted the gift of time from your mate and our world has helped you find the balance with that gift. Please know that you and your mate will always be welcome as equals and family on this world."
Donna barely heard the gasp from the Doctor at the formal words that tumbled from Largana's lips; his gaze flashed from Nishtano to Turano to see the same conviction mirrored on their faces before they rose to their feet once more. "Doctor, Donna Noble. May the winds blow gently across your soul and may the lines ever shine with promise." The three Bellatraxians then bowed in unison to Donna and the Doctor, their heads held low while they waited to see how their parting words would be received.
The Doctor especially seemed to be taken aback by the invocation that was usually spoken only to augers as a person's leave was requested; he couldn't help the shaking in his limbs as he rose to his feet and bowed in return. He was pleased to see Donna rising and doing the same. "Go into the mist with warmth and light. We thank you all for your amazing gifts for those that we hold dear and we will indeed return to visit soon."
The three smaller humanoids straightened up at the Doctor's words and rushed around the table to hug the two travelers tightly; whispered well wishes murmured into hair or softly rippling fur before the three diminutive creatures took their leave and bid them a final farewell.
The Doctor and Donna stood still for a moment, trying to make sense of the events that had just transpired but unable to do more than just shake their heads in bewilderment. "Doctor, what just happened?"
He shrugged though there was no denying the look of pleasure that had crossed his face. "I'm not quite sure, Donna. Suffice it to say that it will make future visits to this world very interesting!"
She just laughed softly at the note of excitement in his voice, his eyes were shining with all the possible timelines that were suddenly flaring bright to his senses before he whispered. "Are you ready to finally get on our way, Donna?"
"I was born ready, Spaceman." Donna couldn't help but snort when she felt the thrill race through the consciousness of the Tardis even before the words were out of her mouth. The ship was ready to stretch her legs once more, and the light was already beginning to flash atop her blue shell.
The Doctor just grinned that slightly manic grin that she had so come to love; the shadows in his eyes banished for just a moment before he took her hand and together they raced back into the confines of the Tardis. "Well then, Allons y!"
The wheezing groan of dematerialization began to sound as the wild breeze of its passing raced through the halls of the room before fading to silence once more. The Nexus tolled briefly as the energy of the Time Lord and his mate faded from its embrace; the sonorous sound already singing of the future to come.
The Doctor raced to the control console as the Tardis made the jump into the Vortex, his hands flying over the controls to set the temporal coordinates and physical location from memory. He lifted his head as he realized Donna had not followed him up the ramp, her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes narrowed as she watched him dance around the console.
He paused for a telling moment, his lips parted so that he could press his tongue to the back of his teeth while he tried to gauge the sudden shift in her mood. She was completely still within his mind, her eyes the only thing that betrayed any emotion and he for the first time in months was unable to identify what that emotion was.
Donna slowly made her way up the ramp, her eyes never leaving the Doctor's as he warily watched her approach his side. She had felt a brief flash in his mind when he had set the coordinates in to the controls, his mind whispering lightly through hers with a single minded focus that suddenly set her heart to pounding.
"Alright, Spaceman. Spill it. I'm not stepping foot outside until I know just where and when we are going."
The Doctor's eyes widened momentarily before a dark look of something flashed through them; the emotion barely registering before it vanished behind the manic façade that he maintained when trying to deflect too much inquiry into his plans. "We'll be there in just a short while, Donna. I really want it to be a surprise. Besides it'll be something that might just help when we break the news about us to your family."
Donna shook her head, her ponytail swinging back and forth in response to the motion before her hands rose to fiddle with the knot in his blue paisley tie. Her fingers tapped lightly against the perfect shape, nails ghosting lightly across the adam's apple that bobbed uncertainly above it before she pulled him down to her level. "You've been planning this for a while then?"
The Doctor gulped audibly when she pulled him down to her level, his eyes locking with hers so that she couldn't mistake the hungry look that prowled through his gaze before it too was quickly banished. "I've been planning it since before Cardiff really, but I only really got the proper idea when we had dinner with your family."
He stayed bent over as her fingers fiddled with the satin fabric in her hands, though the pressure that she was exerting on his tie was now nothing more than a light caress. Her mind suddenly moved within his though she did not try to dig into his motives anymore; her thoughts flicking through his with a feather light caress that sent delicious shivers dancing through him that he knew she couldn't help but notice. The ghost of a smile tilted one corner of her mouth, her eyes locked with his before she released her hold on his tie and allowed him to straighten back up. "It's important to you for some reason, but you're worried that I might get upset about it. Why, Doctor? You know I trust you with my life."
He sighed softly, his hands rising to run through his hair in a brief show of agitation before he turned away and stalked back around the control console. If she didn't know better, she would think that he was deliberately putting distance between them before he felt he could continue.
As it was she just stood there, watching his nervous movements as he fiddled with knobs and dials before his tortured gaze rose to meet hers. "I waltzed back into your life in truly spectacular fashion, Donna, after I had so spectacularly walked out of it. Your mother had finally begun to come to terms with everything that had happened to you because of me, and now we're going to show up and set her world upside down again."
Donna's head cocked at that odd turn of phrase, her eyes narrowing when she realized that he was stalling for time. "How are we going to turn her world upside down, Doctor? I thought we had come to an understanding with her about my choice to travel with you again, it's hardly going to be a surprise to her I think. Besides, you know that gramps already knows and he's thrilled with it."
The Doctor blew out a frustrated breath, the sharp bite of discomfort jiggling painfully in his belly before he forced himself to really look at her. He knew the feel of her timelines intimately, he had spent the last several months drowning himself happily in being able to feel them once more. There was however something that was missing, something that he had felt in Sylvia Noble's mind when their hands had brushed over old photo albums. A sorrow that had echoed through her mother's mind in a way that he knew he could no longer deny.
Donna was with him now, they would have centuries to love and grow together and they would be able to see all of time unfold in its majesty around them. Yes, there would be mad capped mayhem along the way, but he knew that at least for the foreseeable future he would finally not have to be so desperately alone. There was one thing though that he was worried might drive her away from him and he finally couldn't keep himself from facing that fear head on.
"I know Wilf's thrilled with the idea of us being together, and I know that your mother already suspects the truth though we were careful to deny it to her, but the fact of the matter is there's one thing that's missing and I don't know if I can ever manage to give it to you."
Donna's belly fluttered with apprehension when she saw the naked longing and pain writ on his face; his gaze was distant as he stared at her and she knew that he was seeing all the future possibilities that were swirling around her. She sighed softly, wanting to close the distance between them but for some reason staying put while she carefully considered how to respond to the longing she heard in his voice. "Mum will get used to the idea of us being a couple, Doctor. Personally I think that was part of the reason that she was angry with you to begin with, because she worried that as long as I traveled with you I would never have the chance to find someone and settle down." She laughed softly when she realized what she had said, her eyes sliding towards the time rotor before she barked. "Blimey, I can't believe I'm actually defending my mother."
The Doctor's answering smile was somewhat sad at her observation, before he sobered once more. "I know you want children and a family, Donna. How could I not have felt that yearning even before we became… what we've become. I felt it when I buried all your memories, and I'd hoped that you would be able to go on to find that dream that you've held dear for so long."
Donna gasped softly when she heard that admission from the Doctor, her eyes widening when she realized what had him so worried. She suddenly realized with stunning clarity that he was worried she would one day grow tired of being alone and childless and that she would leave him in search of that family that she had dreamed about for so long.
She closed the distance between them so fast she didn't even remember moving, her hand rose to cup his cheek and turn those tortured eyes down to hers. She opened her mind to his fully, letting him feel everything that she felt for him and all the hope that their future would be brilliant no matter what happened. "Doctor, that is one dream that I have had yes, but it is just that a dream. I don't even know if children are possible between us, but that doesn't mean that I would ever simply walk away because we never had a family bigger than the three of us." The soft hum of approval from the Tardis was barely noticed as Donna struggled to get through the layers of sorrow she felt in the Doctor's mind.
She could see the confusion and doubt in his eyes, his tongue darting out to moisten bone-dry lips before he was able to swallow convulsively. "I honestly haven't even thought that far ahead in our relationship, not when we had so many other issues that we had to address before even thinking about if children would even be a possibility. I wasn't sure if that was even something that you'd want with me." With an alien. She heard the last whispered forlornly in the Doctor's mind, the sorrow was almost more than she could bear.
"Hey, I'm not completely human now either am I, Doctor? You've never been just an "alien" to me. You've been my best mate, my partner in crime and the love of my life even when I was too stubborn to admit it. Didn't you just tell me that I now had Time Lord DNA running through my veins, and that would be the reason for my extended lifespan?"
The Doctor nodded, his eyes softening as he realized that she was not pushing him away as he had feared she might do when he broached this difficult subject. He had to admit that the thought of a family with Donna Noble was an intoxicating one; he could almost picture children with gorgeous ginger hair and flashing blue eyes running through the halls of the Tardis and he found himself longing for that possibility.
"You're right, Donna. The possibility is there, I guess I just wasn't sure how you would feel about it and I didn't know the best way to bring it up because I'm sure your mother will at some point. It'd be almost criminal if she didn't."
Donna chuckled at those words, her hand sliding down to rest over his right heart that even now she could feel pounding beneath her hand. The adrenaline that had surged through his body seemed to be draining away, but she could still feel the tension coiled within the lean frame. "You just let me handle my mum, Doctor. We're the ones to decide what we do with our lives and if we are so blessed as to one day have children, then I know that they will be loved utterly and completely."
She swallowed softly, her hands twining with his in order to bring it down to rest against her belly. She could feel his fingers twitching nervously in her grasp, but the gentle caress of his hand against the soft skin told her all she needed to know. "We've made a promise to each other, Doctor. We're growing together and just as I'm learning more about you and your world, you're moving more into my world as well. You don't think I know you don't do domestic, and yet for the first time in centuries you are contemplating doing just that with me."
The Doctor's eyes flew up to hers, though his hand stayed pressed lightly against her belly; the long fingers lightly stroking as he truly let himself dream of that possible someday. "It's not the same with you, Donna. I don't know, maybe it's because our bond is already so strong and only growing stronger by the day. I'd do anything for you, and I know you would for me as well. You're my life and my anchor, Donna Noble. I didn't like who I became when I lost you, I couldn't stop myself and frankly I didn't want to. I finally saw that I'm not a very nice man, and that I do the right thing only because the people I surround myself with make me strive to be a better person."
Donna could tell that his thoughts were drifting back to his reaction to the words of the augers, the instant, screaming rise of the Time Lord Victorious in his manic thoughts as he, for a brief moment, thought about trying to change the events that were foretold to come. He had pulled himself back from that intoxicating insanity only when he had felt the touch of Donna's hand in his, the soft whisper of her love drawing him away from the jaws of madness. He truly believed that he was the sum of all that was dark and destructive, he truly believed that he had no control over himself and that it was only because of those who loved him that he even gave a damn about what might happen. She shook her head with an angry growl, her hand rising up to swat at his arm to snap him about of his melancholy thoughts.
Her gesture had the desired effect as he reared back, his hand flying to hold the offended spot before he snapped. "Oi! What was that for?" His breath stuttered to a halt when he saw that anger snapping in her eyes, the sudden flash through her thoughts was nearly blinding.
"You think you're so bad, Doctor. You think that you would blithely run through the universe destroying anything and everything and that it's only us little humans that hold you in line?"
He opened his mouth to protest and she raised a finger to stop him before he could start. "NOT finished, Spaceman! Yes, you fell into a dark place, we've already discussed just why that happened and people do crazy things when they are overrun with grief. Especially when their big genius brains don't even let them realize WHY they are grieving so very much." The Doctor winced at that insult, though he had to admit she had a point there.
"The fact that you seek out companionship to hold yourself in line just goes to show that there is a steel core of goodness in you. You know that you have the ability to go too far, you know it because you've done it time and again. You did sometimes have the wrong companions that would encourage that recklessness." The Doctor was forcibly reminded of all the adventures he had shared with Rose, how she had so often egged him on just because it was a thrill. He remembered bleakly the thrill of power that had run through him when he would see her looking at him through adoring eyes. It had been an addiction, one that he hadn't even realized was heading straight for his ultimate destruction.
Donna paused when she saw the look on his face, her eyes softening for a moment before she leaned closer to him once more. "You're the protector of this universe, Doctor. Even though you've stumbled and fallen so very hard, you continue to pick yourself up and go on because to not go on is not an option. You continue when so many others would have given up in the past. You continue to carry a burden that no one can even imagine because there is no one else left to carry that burden. I'm sorry, but those are hardly the actions of a monster." The Doctor leaned back on his heels, unused to anyone defending him so vehemently even against himself. He couldn't help but admire the fire that he felt quivering within her mind and body, the anger was turned not on himself but on the fact that he couldn't see what she did when she looked at him. He was forcibly reminded of the same arguments that they had all the time when she would belittle herself and he would defend her against herself.
He blinked at that realization, his eyes widening in wonder when he realized that he was just as broken as she was and he didn't even have a harping mother to blame for his own abysmal self-worth. He was looking at her with wonder plain in his gaze, his lips quirked in an absolutely goofy smile before he pulled her close and brushed a soft, wondering kiss to her temple. "Oh, Donna Noble. You amazing, amazing woman. Only you would stand up to me in such spectacular fashion and make me realize what a complete idiot I'd been."
She squawked when he pulled her close, the unexpected motion setting her to stumbling into him hard before she felt his arms tighten around her and that feather light caress against her temples. She smiled up at him, her hand rising to brush a shock of hair off his forehead. "Someone has to do it, Doctor. You're the fire that we're all drawn to, you're the reason why so many of us have joined in the fight against chaos and destruction. Of course you've been beaten down and tortured and forced to endure things that would've driven lesser beings insane; but it's okay if it becomes too much sometimes, Doctor. I'm here for you, as is Jack and Martha and a host of others who all have travelled with you in the past." Her eyes were soft and pleading as those fingers drifted down over his lips, one nail lightly tracing the smile that curved their shape. "You have the biggest family in the universe, Doctor and we're all here for you whether you're broken or not."
He felt like he could barely catch a breath, the emotions that were churning in his belly were enough to cause the tears to burn embarrassingly behind his eyes. He clutched her tightly to him, her words for once soothing the savage bite of self-derision and showing him just how much she really did love him. As did most of his former companions if he really let himself think about it, even Jack had forgiven him for what should have been completely unforgivable. "I guess I never realized just how many lives I have affected over the centuries, I keep expecting them to hate me if I ever cross their paths again but they continue to amaze me with their ready love and forgiveness."
Donna just smiled slightly as she pulled back from his tight embrace, her lungs gasping gratefully for the much needed oxygen before her smile turned slightly impish. "Prawn. You really are incredibly dense sometimes."
The Doctor laughed and broke away from her, his eyes dancing merrily while he scampered around the control console. "Oh that's rich coming from you, Earthgirl!"
"Oi! Watch it, Spaceman!"
He just grinned back at her through a fringe of hair, the look he knew that would drive her especially to distraction. His hands were dancing across buttons and levers once more, piloting the Tardis out of the vortex and to a remarkably smooth and silent landing.
Donna looked up at the Doctor when she felt their landing, her head cocking as she glanced at the closed doors of the Tardis. "We're there then?"
The Doctor gulped softly before he tapped the console and a small drawer popped open next to his hand. He reached into the drawer and drew something out before he pushed it closed and applied the parking brake; his steps were oddly hesitant as he walked back to her side.
Donna's gaze flicked down to his hand, though it was clenched closed so that she couldn't see what he was holding. All traces of humor had fled from his gaze when they had landed and his mind was calm and focused solely on her. "Donna, I'm the luckiest man in the whole universe and I know that your family means the world to you even though you sometimes wish they could be a little more understanding."
She snorted softly at that, rolling her eyes as she thought of the truly spectacular rows that seemed to be an everyday occurrence with her mother. "That's the understatement of the century, Doctor!"
A brief smile quirked the corners of his mouth before it fell away to once more be replaced with complete focus. "There is one person in the whole of creation that I know you wish could see your happiness right now, but we missed our chance with that one when we went our separate ways that first time."
Donna's hands flew to her mouth with a soft gasp, her eyes darting to the monitor where she could just make out the supply closet that the Tardis was now standing in. She couldn't make out the date or the time on the display, but by the gentle whispers of the Tardis in her mind she knew exactly where it was that the Doctor had taken her. "But, Doctor, won't that cause a paradox? I thought we weren't supposed to cross our own timelines."
He shook his head, his hand reaching out to take hers so that he could slip the golden biodamper back into place. His finger lightly tapping it before he whispered. "With this ring, I thee biodamp."
Donna burst into tears when she heard those words, and though he had said several hurtful things on that rooftop all those months ago, she still thought of that time with him with fondness. Even though he had said that she was not special or connected at the time, she knew that he hadn't meant anything of the sort. He had still been hurting from losing his former companion so suddenly, and he had lashed out at the tugging of the universe that had not seen fit to give him the time to grieve properly.
He had since more than made up for those thoughtless words and continually helped her fight against her own demons and feelings of inadequacy. He had apologized so many times for unwittingly feeding into the vicious cycle of recrimination that was a constant in her life, and he had gone on to show her just how truly amazing she could be.
Donna threw her arms around his neck, surprised at how perfect it felt to have that ring back in place. She hadn't even realized how much she had missed it before he had slid it back on, though this time the wealth of love and devotion that had blazed through their bond made the moment absolutely perfect. "For better or for worse, Doctor. Through hell and back, I'll always be yours."
He squeezed her tightly, burying his face against her neck before he pulled back. "You told me back when you first started travelling with me again, that your father had been remarkably peaceful in the last weeks of his life. You said he'd had a smile on his face when before there had been none and that he'd asked you a lot of questions about why you were drifting and what you were looking for."
Donna nodded softly as she remembered those long conversations she and the Doctor would have in the library or arboretum as they simply walked and talked together, laughing and getting to know each other while the bond of friendship had grown so quickly into something more. She thought back on all the times she had cried herself to sleep, missing her dad so much and knowing somehow that he would have been so proud of her for finally having the courage to chase her dreams. The Doctor had listened and he had remembered every single time. "He just suddenly changed one day, Doctor. It was the eeriest thing. The doctors all said that he had finally come to terms with the fact that he didn't have long to live, but I always felt that there was something more to it than that. I would catch him looking at me with the strangest expression on his face and when I asked him about it he simply said that he was remembering something."
The Doctor just grinned impishly, his eyes flicking to the control console before he murmured. "Well, when I made the decision to bring you to see him one last time so that he could see that you were indeed happy it was like everything clicked into place. I knew that this would be the right thing to do because we had already done it. Alternate timeline or not, you had gotten to see your father one last time before he died and he knew that you were finally happy."
Donna reared back, her eyes going wide when all the implications of his words came crashing down. "So, you mean we would've done this at some point in our travels?"
The Doctor just nodded, his fingers still lightly rubbing over the ring that was now back in its proper place while he struggled to put his thoughts into words. "I think not coming here would've actually created the paradox, Donna."
She chewed her lip thoughtfully, her eyes drifting down to how their fingers were clasped tightly together and the unconscious caress of his fingers. "But why give me the ring now, Doctor? Won't that just make him ask questions? Especially when I come back in with you, the man that he believed had destroyed his daughter's wedding?"
The Doctor chuckled and began to tug her towards the door, his nerves already starting to become frazzled the longer they waited. He wanted to do things properly by Donna, but more importantly he needed Geoffrey Noble to know that his daughter was loved completely and that he would do everything in his power to always let her know just how much. "I'm giving it back to you now, Donna, because it belongs there. I never realized how right it felt when I first put it on your finger and just instinctively chose your ring finger. Looking back, I know that that was the timelines being manipulated to get you into just the right place at the right time, but I could have chosen any other finger of yours and I didn't. Maybe I was staking a claim even back then, the fact that no one noticed that you had a strange ring on your hand when we returned to your reception was rather telling."
Donna stopped dead at that thought, her eyes widening when she realized that she had moved her engagement ring to her right ring finger because she had wanted the wedding band to slide into place with no resistance. When she had been yanked up to the Tardis, she had never bothered to move that engagement ring back into its proper place. When he had slid that ring onto her finger it felt like she had finally been compete and it had irked her that it hadn't been her fiancé that had made her feel like she finally belonged. Well, the whole being primed to be fed to a giant spider had kind of put a damper on that, but she had cherished the Doctor's ring during the whole year that she had been searching for him.
She had worn it on a chain around her neck so that her mother wouldn't ask too many questions, even though she hadn't hesitated to hock Lance's ring the first chance she had gotten. The Doctor's ring had been a tie to him, a reminder that she wasn't completely crazy as she had delved deeper and deeper into the conspiracy theories that abounded on the internet.
"Everyone was too busy yelling at me about having to make a spectacle even when all of the attention would have been focused on me anyways. They were too busy trying to figure out just how I had vanished and who you were to bother noticing something so silly as a strange ring."
The Doctor shrugged, stopping by the Tardis doors and turning her to face him before he whispered. "Perhaps they were, but either way don't think that your father didn't notice it. You're my wife now in every way, in a bond far more profound than any human ritual could ever hope to imitate. I want your father to know in no uncertain terms that I mean to stay with you no matter what may happen to us. He may not understand the circumstances of our marriage, and I would rather NOT get into the metacrisis with him as that would be polluting the timeline with far too much foreknowledge, but I want him to know that you finally did find some happiness and that happiness happened to be with me."
She cocked a brow at that strange comment, her eyes narrowing when she saw how he was nervously shifting on the balls of his feet. "You're actually nervous about meeting him again, aren't you?"
His head jerked back down to look at her, his eyes darting nervously to the doors before he guffawed. "Don't be silly, Donna. Nervous of meeting a human? Why would I ever be….?"
His denials were cut off mid thought by Donna's fingers pressing lightly to his lips, her eyes were shining when she leaned forward and replaced her finger with her lips. She could feel the tension thrumming through him and she knew that she had hit the nail on the head with his sudden vehement denials. "Don't worry, Doctor. When he sees how happy I am with you and how much I have changed in the last three years, he will have no choice but to love you." Her eyes misted for a moment before she continued. "You never got the chance to truly know my father, but he was far more like Gramps then my mother. He loved adventure and he always encouraged me to pursue my dreams. When he sees that I have done just that, everything will be fine."
The Doctor was distracted by a brief flare around Donna, a turning point had suddenly been reached with her words and a new twist had flared into being in her already complex timeline. He couldn't stop the grin when he suddenly knew without a doubt that everything would be just fine in the end.
"Let's go get your father's blessing, Donna. I want him to know just how happy you make me!"
Donna smiled softly though she couldn't stop the shiver of foreboding that raced through her, and for a panicked moment she realized that they were on their way to seek Time's blessing.
The Doctor paused when he felt the shudder race through her body, his hand resting against the worn wood of the Tardis doors while he looked down at her with a question in his eyes.
Donna blinked back up at him, shaking her head as her fingers gripped his hand tightly. "I'm sure it's nothing, Doctor. But I just couldn't help but hear the auger's words once again when you said that."
The Doctor's gaze darkened for just a moment as he let himself delve into the timelines around them, his eyes sliding closed briefly before he clenched his jaw and nodded. "Nothing to be done but carry on, Donna. We already know there's nothing we can do to change those events. Let's not let the fear of what might be coming take away from the moments we have now."
The Doctor pulled the doors of the Tardis open and with Donna's hand held tightly in his, led the way out into that uncertain future.
It looked like the fulfilling of the prophecy had just begun.