She doesn't say anything, but as Jane circles me she doesn't have to. My head is already filling itself with what I can only imagine are condescending thoughts. Her face is cold and calculating as it always is. She presses her fingers to her lips and stops when she comes to face me. She doesn't frown, but she doesn't smile either. Of course she wouldn't show any emotion on my least favorite activity: shopping.
Growing up, I've never liked going store to store for anything. The good thing about 2017 is that you can do it all online, but Jane insisted she come with me to look for clothes. So far, Simon has been able to figure out that Senator Francis Lloyd is the close friend of Danny Dyson, who founded Genisys. He knows that because in a not-so-distant future, Landers will announce his bid for technological exploration involving time travel. He will be ridiculed, and the project will be taken over by Skynet.
Kyle wasn't very happy with the decision to make me into the senator's assistant. He still doesn't like the idea of me being thrown into something like this without backup. Of course Pops also insisted, and he and Kyle made sure that Kyle was placed on the senator's security detail.
The dress I'm wearing is one of the many Jane has picked out in preparation for me starting as Senator Lloyd's executive assistant. It's a flowy design that sticks to me tightly to show off my curves. The fabric is a bright blue color, and it's not like anything I've ever worn. It's got an expensive price tag, but apparently Jane and Simon have been stockpiling money in places to fund their lives throughout time.
"I hate dresses," I tell Jane. I don't know if I really want her response or if I just want her to say something to make this less awkward.
"You hate anything that isn't black," she says. "Have you ever even tried to wear something with some color to it?"
I glare at her as she continues to circle me, adjusting the skirt a bit and pursing her lips together as she contemplates the outfit.
"We'll take this one, too," she says.
"That's five dresses," I tell her.
"There are five days in a work week," she points out. "And you can alternate between the pants and the dresses if it makes you feel better."
I'm in the dressing room before she starts going on again about my makeup. I've never been partial to the stuff; I consider it all a waste of time. But she insisted that I buy some and learn how to use it. She'd called it my war paint and said that this was the most used weapon of my gender during this time. She's not wrong. To have skipped over more than three decades, things weren't any better than I remember them. If anything, the world has evolved into chaos, and after catching up on the events that have transpired since the day I met Kyle it's no wonder Skynet wants to destroy humanity. I'm not even sure I want humanity to win sometimes.
On our way out, we pass by the maternity section. This makes my insides clinch, and I can't hide it. I stop there, wondering if I'm going to need anything from this section anytime soon. I see women with varying stages of pregnancy showing on their bodies, and it makes me want to cry. All I can do is think of John and how much I want him. It's an alien thought to me that I'm already in love with someone who doesn't exist yet to me.
"Are you okay?" Jane prods lightly. She's trying to be nice and sound concerned, but it still comes off a little harder than a normal person. I sigh and nod my head.
"Just thinking," I admit. "Wondering if I'll need these outfits soon."
My fingers brush against a black top. It all feels the same as any other top, but to me it's entirely different.
"You're worrying about if you aren't pregnant, if John will ever exist," she says.
"Is it that obvious?" I ask.
"Yes," she says plainly. Glancing at her, I nod and start to walk again. "But even if you aren't pregnant with him this time around, you will still give birth to him eventually."
"You can't know that," I tell her as she walks beside me.
This time, Jane stops. She has an odd look on her face, like she's trying to decipher the meaning of Shakespeare.
"I do," she says carefully. "Because I'm still here."
"I guess you're right," I tell her. "If he didn't exist, Kyle wouldn't be here either. I'm not good at the whole timeline and time travel stuff."
Like Kyle said, it makes my head hurt.