Summary: Patsy and Delia's relationship is tested.
Disclaimer: Call The Midwife belongs to the BBC and others - I am simply borrowing their beautiful characters.
Author's note: So with the stock market in the toilet and currency at 30 year lows, a leaderless government and an opposition that's gone into meltdown, I am actually quite grateful for the escape of fanfiction. An update for you. Thank you once again jlynsca . Enjoy...
Patsy woke up in a bad mood and she had a feeling it was not going to dissipate any time soon. Last night she had been amazed to find out that Delia had been assigned to work on the Nonnatus House archives and that the hospital were happy to release her to do that. It was obviously a smoke-screen, and Patsy realised that Delia had been suspended from work. It stung that the Welsh woman hadn't told her about that, or the temporary assignment. Nearly everyone else had simply accepted Sister Julienne's information and were actually quite excited that Delia would be working at the convent. Barbara had looked a bit confused, but she had seen the look of surprise on Patsy's face and realised that they had both been kept in the dark.
After dinner, Patsy had extracted Delia out into the garden where they could talk again, and she immediately asked about what was going on.
"You've been suspended?"
"I've been tasked with an assignment at Nonnatus," Delia evaded.
"For god's sake, Delia. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Pats, we've already had this discussion. I have been told I am not allowed to talk to anyone about what's going on. That includes you."
"You could have at least told me about working here." Patsy knew that she sounded petulant, but the whole situation was frustrating and she felt helpless.
"Patsy, your look of surprise at dinner was seen by sister Julienne. There was no way you could have faked that. She knows now that I have kept my word to her."
"I'm so glad you're keeping Sister Julienne happy," Patsy shot back bitterly as she took a sharp drag of her cigarette.
Delia sighed, knowing that Patsy's words were pointed because she was hurt. "I'm sorry, Pats. You have to trust that I'm doing this for the right reasons."
"Like you're trusting me?" the red-head retorted.
"That's not fair."
Patsy winced; Delia was right. "No, it wasn't and I'm sorry," she apologised softly. "I just feel so utterly useless. I ought to be able to help and support you, and I feel like I can't even do that."
Delia sighed. It was so hard not opening up to Patsy, but Delia would not put her at risk. "All I will say is that I don't think it will take long to get resolved, one way or another. Matron has taken control of everything."
Patsy frowned. "I'm not sure that reassures me at all," she admitted candidly.
"Me neither. But having to wait is worse than dealing with whatever the outcome is," Delia asserted.
Patsy exhaled loudly. "One would think I'd be more understanding about keeping secrets," she commented flatly.
"It's not the secret keeping," Delia demurred wisely. "It's the thought that you might be able to help if only you knew what the problem was."
Patsy looked at her lover intensely. "That's exactly what it is. How do you know that?"
"It's how I felt when I heard you having nightmares. I'd ask you how you were the following day and you'd always say you were fine and that there was nothing to talk about."
Patsy smiled wanly. "You did help. Ironically, by not pushing to find out what was wrong. You were just there when I needed you."
Delia raised her eyebrows at Patsy, waiting for her to listen to her own words.
The red-head shook her head as she realised what had been said. "All right, you've made your point." She sighed again. "I don't like it though, Deels. I hate not feeling in control. I think it's worse because I'm sure I know what it's about so it feels like you should be able to tell me. I really don't think you'll end up telling me anything I haven't already guessed."
Delia tried a different tack. "I've been told not to discuss this for a reason, Pats. And I am interpreting that as part of the whole thing. If it comes to light that I have gone against an instruction from my superior and from a senior nun, it might discredit anything else I say or do."
"But don't they realise how isolated this makes you? This is exactly the sort of time where you need support."
"And Sister Julienne has offered her support. She's protecting you, too, Patsy. And Barbara and Trixie. There's an issue that needs to be investigated. The staff at Nonnatus House need to be above reproach. If none of you are involved, then the integrity of the team remains intact."
Patsy shook her head. "The integrity of Nonnatus shouldn't be at your expense."
"No, but an investigation is always a confidential matter. The limits of that confidentiality have been clearly set out." Delia shrugged. "It doesn't really matter how many different ways you phrase it, I can't confide in you."
Patsy's irritation returned. "Fine. Well, you know where I am if you do need to talk." With that, she stood up abruptly and ground her cigarette end viciously with her shoe before stalking back into the house.
After spending a restless night worrying about Delia and all the possible permutations of what an investigation could mean, Patsy was grateful that she was on house visits for the morning. It was a welcome distraction from what was going on with Delia and it also meant that she was far enough away not to be tempted to return to the convent and talk to her again. She knew that she couldn't get the brunette to change her mind regarding confiding in her, but she felt bad about how she had left things the previous evening and she wanted to make amends. However, she wanted to do that in an unrushed way.
When she returned to have lunch, she found Delia at the table looking dusty and dishevelled after spending the morning in the attic. She smiled a closed lop-sided smile at the younger woman in what she hoped would be seen as an unspoken apology and was delighted to see Delia return the smile with a bright one of her own. "Hello, Pats. You might not want to sit next to me for lunch. I know what you're like for cleanliness and I feel like I have a cloud of dust swirling round me."
"Nonsense. You're just showing the efforts of a hard morning's work." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "You have washed your hands though?"
Delia looked shocked, even though she knew Patsy was teasing. "Pats, I'm a nurse. Of course I've washed my hands." She sounded suitably offended, even though she was grinning at the red-head.
"Oh well, in that case, I will sit next to you." Patsy took up her usual position and took a moment to lean in close to Delia's ear. "I don't deserve you," she whispered fondly.
Delia shook her head and smiled, acknowledging the sentiment behind the words.
"How are you getting on with the archives?" Nurse Crane asked conversationally.
Delia grinned, knowing that the older nurse was desperate to help out and give her own opinion on how things should be organised. "All I've managed to do so far is to start separating out the records into a loose chronological order based on the contents of each box." She grimaced as she continued. "There's no guarantee that the contents of each box are all from the same year so I'm going to have to go through that, too. On the bright side, there is plenty of room up in the attic so I think I should be able to organise things in a logical way, with enough space to allow additional files to be slotted in if required."
The northern woman nodded approvingly. "Well, if you need help on how it needs to be laid out, please let me know."
"Nurse Crane, I can guarantee I'll need your help. But there's no need to get involved yet. It's really me just shifting files and boxes around, and labelling them properly so we know what we're dealing with. Once I've got that done, I'll be seeking you out."
Nurse Crane seemed pleased by that remark and lunch continued with light-hearted conversation.
After lunch, Patsy went to staff the clinic with Barbara. She asked the young nurse if she would work with Dr. Parker, as she knew her suspicions would taint any conversation she had with the woman, and thankfully Barbara happily agreed. The afternoon session was crowded and noisy which meant that the time flew by and before she knew it, Patsy was tidying her kit away.
Dr. Parker came out from her examination room and sauntered over to where Patsy was packing up bottles of rosehip syrup. "Should I be offended that you're avoiding me?" She asked without preamble.
"I'm not," Patsy refuted immediately. "Nurse Gilbert was out here this morning, so I thought she could use a break from the noise."
"Oh, well that's okay then." She paused, considering her next words. "And how is nurse Busby coping?"
Patsy froze for a second before spinning round to face the brunette. "Coping with what?" She asked pointedly.
"I was at the London at lunchtime, catching up with an old colleague. There's a rather ugly rumour going round about her. I know how close you are. I just wondered if she was okay."
Patsy controlled her temper through sheer force of will but there was no way she was simply going to walk away from the woman. She grabbed Dr. Parker by the elbow and led her back into her consultation room. "What do you mean by ugly rumour?"
Dr. Parker raised her eyebrows. "I think you know exactly what I mean by that."
Patsy pursed her lips. "And who exactly is it that's spreading this around?"
"Well, that wouldn't be fair of me to say," Dr. Parker hedged.
"I'm surprised at you Dr. Parker. If you're not prepared to cite your source, all you're doing is helping to spread gossip. Given your path through training school, I would have thought you would have been totally against doing anything like that."
Dr. Parker held up her hands in a conciliatory manner. "I'm sorry, Patsy. I didn't mean to upset you. I was simply asking after Delia as I know what it's like to be subject to gossip."
"You shouldn't know anything about it at all."
"I can't help that staff talk," Dr. Parker shrugged.
"Well, whatever they are talking about, it has to be pure speculation. I know that there is absolutely no way anyone would know about the details."
"Except you, by the sound of it."
"Actually no. Delia hasn't told me a thing about it. Which is another reason I am so surprised that you could have heard anything." Patsy was almost accusatory.
Dr Parker was astonished that Delia hadn't told the red-haired nurse. She took the opportunity to capitalise on that and raised her eyebrows dismissively. "Perhaps she's not as careful as she needs to be. Perhaps one of her prior dalliances said something."
"Don't you dare!" Patsy's eyes flashed dangerously as she felt fury build up in her. "How can you stand there and make suppositions like that? You of all people should know how damaging that could be."
"I do know, which is why I've always been so very careful about my personal life. From my short time of knowing you, I believe you have that same attitude. Can you be sure that Delia is so diligent in her discretion?"
"Yes, I can," Patsy answered hotly, determined to defend her girlfriend. Even as she said it there was a tiny kernel of doubt forming deep in her mind. Delia had always found it difficult to keep things so secret. She hated having to hide her feelings and Patsy had often had to remind her to be cautious in her actions and expressions. Was it possible that she had inadvertently slipped up?
"I'm glad that you're so confident of that," Joanna responded. "But let me give you some advice. If I can see how friendly you and Delia are after only being around you for a short time, then so can other people. I don't know exactly what's been said about her, but you don't want to be caught up in the crossfire. Your reputation could end up getting tarnished."
"Delia is my friend. The last thing I'm going to do is back away from her, just when she needs my support the most." Patsy's voice resonated with determination.
Dr. Parker nodded. "Very noble of you, Patsy. But at least think about it. If the rumour mill is correct, Delia could end up losing her job. If you spend a noticeable amount of time with her, there is every possibility that people will put two and two together. Can you seriously both afford to lose your jobs?"
"Your concern is noted, Doctor," Patsy responded through gritted teeth. "However, I have made my position very clear." She stepped closer to the brunette, her eyes blazing. "In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you gave no further voice to these rumours. I don't think there's any need to spread baseless gossip, do you?"
"Well I was going to offer to help, but if you're set on doing things by yourself..."
"What?" Patsy interrupted the doctor mid-flow. "What do you mean, offer to help?"
"I'm a doctor. I have a certain amount of influence..."
"It was you who made the complaint," Patsy interrupted assuredly. She stared at the other woman balefully before continuing. "What a despicable thing to do."
"I can also undo it. Say I made a mistake," Dr. Parker responded, remaining disturbingly calm.
"To what end? Why would you risk the reputation and livelihood of someone like that?"
"To get your attention."
"Oh, you've certainly got my attention." Patsy's voice was trembling with anger and she had to concentrate on restraining herself. "What do you want?"
"A small favour, nothing more."
"This is sounding suspiciously like blackmail, and I think we can both agree that you have just as much to lose as Delia and I."
"Not at all. I am asking one thing of you, and I'll make sure everything goes away."
Patsy did not want to ask what the doctor wanted from her. She knew that the second she asked, the doctor would take control of the conversation and she did not want to do that, but the tall midwife was at an impasse. "What do you want?" The words came out as a harsh whisper.
"An evening out with you. Dinner. That's all."
Patsy burst out laughing incredulously. "You must be deluded. You threaten someone that means everything to me so that you can get a date? Why?"
The brunette doctor shrugged her shoulders. "I think you fell in with Delia. I don't think you've ever really been out with anyone else and I think that you don't know what you're missing. The easiest way to remedy that is to take you out to dinner."
Patsy's mind was swirling. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Surely the woman was insane. "You think that if I went out to dinner with you, as a result of you trying to hurt Delia, I'll see you in a favourable light? Are you even listening to what you're saying?"
"I'm asking you to spend an evening with me and the allegations against Delia will go away. You're obviously convinced that it's a ridiculous suggestion, so surely you have nothing to lose. So?" Dr. Parker rose an eyebrow in challenge.
Patsy mulled over the permutations. Delia would be initially furious but she would understand. The sooner it was done, the sooner the doctor would get the message that Patsy really wasn't interested in her and move on. She had gone on plenty of dead-end dates in her time. This would be no different.
"Okay. As long as I have your assurance that the matter will absolutely be resolved favourably once we're done."
Dr. Parker nodded her agreement. "Absolutely," she concurred.
"Let me know when," Patsy growled as she turned on her heel.
"Oh there's just one thing," Dr. Parker called as Patsy reached the door.
The Titian-haired nurse turned round, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Go on."
"You're not allowed to tell Delia the reason for the date."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Your choice," Dr. Parker shrugged as she replied.
"What's stopping me from reporting all of this and exposing you?"
"Well, nothing when you think about it. But given that there is already an issue logged, and it's a doctor's word against a nurse's word, I would suggest that my case might be considered with more weight than yours." Joanna looked steadily at Patsy, full of confidence.
"You're stacking up the reasons why I am going to be failed to be impressed by you," Patsy pointed out.
"I'll take my chances. But shouldn't that also make your decision easier?" The doctor raised an eyebrow challengingly.
Patsy stared malevolently at the woman as she considered the implications and ramifications of her choices. She nodded sharply. "Done," she agreed curtly before yanking the door open and slamming it behind her.
To be continued...