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Shizuo sighed as he marked off another day on the calendar laying on his desk. It was the first day of March. Roughly two months since Izaya stormed out of the house and disappeared.

Shizuo still remembered every detail about that day. The sex, the fight, the desperate attempts to find him. The pain that still lingered in his heart. Shinra had called later that week to wish Shizuo a happy birthday, and asked how he was doing. Still deep in a depression, the blonde had spilled his emotions out in a very angry tone, cursing and ranting about Izaya being a dick.

Shinra instantly sent Celty to try and find him. Shizuo assumed that Shinra was honestly worried about Izaya - the doctor was the flea's only real friend back in high school.

Either way, Shinra was on a mission to get Izaya back to Shizuo, and it kinda pissed him off. He didn't need the louse to survive. He wasn't useless. So he barked at Shinra, telling him that he could handle himself.

Although he knew that was kind of a white lie. After all, he wasn't 100% better. More like…70%.

Ever since Izaya left him high and dry, and Shinra gave him to ok to try to find another job, Shizuo had been having a hard time maintaining a normal life. He quickly ran out of the money Izaya had left him. Food was scarce again, the bills were piling up, and his utilities were bound to be shut off any day now. To make it worse, he was struggling to keep jobs.

Just like in the past, his temper would flare up and he'd act out and get fired. Although, he managed to hold onto a job for a little longer. But he was getting used to job hunting again. And luckily, he knew where to start.

The first job he went for was a bartender. He already had the clothes, and he still remembered how to mix up drinks, though he was a bit rusty. At first, things were fine. It was a part time job for the first week. He only worked in the afternoons - so it was slow. It gave him plenty of time to practice and brush up on his skills.

Things went to hell when he was bumped up to full time, and his hours switched from the afternoon drag to the hustle and bustle of late nights. He didn't last long. The club was constantly filled up with horny teens and adults who were constantly dancing and grinding up against each other as if they were alone. It was sickening to him and he found that he was breaking more glasses in his hand from squeezing them too hard.

Luckily, the owner of the club didn't want to let Shizuo go just yet for a few broken glasses. So he made him the bouncer. Too many underage kids were getting in, and Shizuo seemed intimidating enough to scare them off. But this job instantly got him fired when a certain promiscuous and bratty kid tried to weasel his way in. Shizuo had thrown him across the street and managed to break his arm. Oops.

The next job he managed to get was a janitor job back at Raira. It was strangely nostalgic for him to be walking to halls where he used to run and chase the flea. Normally, those kinds of memories would piss him off. But now they only brought him pain.

Izaya…when had things changed so drastically? Where did all that hatred go? He wondered this as he cleaned up trash and moved boxes of books from one classroom to another. He knew deep down that he probably never hated the flea. They had gotten along a few times even as teenagers. Sometimes, he even sought comfort in knowing the flea wouldn't run away from him like everyone else. He knew that Izaya would always come to him - even if it was to piss him off.

He had hated being there again - being surrounded by the constant memories. They haunted him, making him want to go back and change everything. Maybe…just maybe if he hadn't tried to punch Izaya when they first met. Maybe this wouldn't have happened.

One late afternoon, he was washing the windows in the hall when he heard sounds coming from behind the stairwell. When he went to investigate, he saw a rather good looking kid making out with some whore of a girl. Things were escalating fast from the looks of it, and Shizuo wasn't going to tolerate that kind of shit. He sprayed them with the cleaner, effectively making them stop and dart away angrily.

That was his first strike.

News spread like wildfire, and soon those brats started making a game out of "who could piss off the janitor and get away".

It's obvious how he lost that job.

By this time, a month had passed, and he was desperate to find a job. He walked around from home to home, offering to clean houses for a small pay. Luckily, high class homes often hired housekeepers. Unfortunately, most hired women, so he didn't even get a chance to explain himself before he was shut down.

One cold day in late February, he was lucky and managed to get a job cleaning a penthouse in downtown Ikebukuro. The owner was there for business, and often had to keep it spotless. He had never met the man face to face, only speaking through an intercom. Regardless, he was happy to land a job that promised to pay well.

His first day, the owner was gone. He had left a note, telling him to wash the windows, sweep the floor and dust. Signed along the bottom was a name Shizuo didn't bother remembering. Hachimeblahblahblah. Too long and annoying.

He had started with washing all the windows. God damn, the place had tons of windows. It reminded him a bit of Izaya's apartment, and he had to shove the thought out of his mind by raiding the fridge. At least Hachiblahblah had said he was allowed to do that - his only note was to NOT touch the ginger cookies. He stayed far away from that and ate a cheese stick with a glass of milk.

After his snack, he went back to sweeping the floor and washing down the counters for good measure. He wanted to leave a good impression and show he was a hard worker. He had lifted the furniture to sweep underneath, and found it was much easier to pick heavy loads now. His arms didn't seize up, and his back didn't hurt. Although his chest did when a flash of a memory made him drop it back onto the floor.

He continued dusting off the shelves and appliances. He had hated how he kept thinking about Izaya. It had been over a month. Why couldn't he seem to forget about him?

Lost in his thoughts, he had accidentally knocked over a small glass dragon. He cursed and scooped up the broken pieces, and struggled to try and glue them back together. When that failed, he decided it'd be best to simply tell his employer what happened.

When he returned home, Shizuo was shocked to see someone who reminded him of the flea far too much. Although, if there was one redeeming quality about Izaya, he wasn't nearly as vicious in temper as this man clad in black and red. He was scolded and yelled at for breaking a "one of a kind gift he received from someone very important to him" before he was shooed from the home. He suspected he wasn't allowed to come back.

Deciding that housekeeping wasn't his best achievement, he looked for a calmer job that required less work with his hands. He didn't want to break more things. He was soon hired as a part time librarian at the public library.

Unfortunately, he was hired to watch over the Romance and Drama section.