Summary: Patsy and Delia's relationship is tested.
Disclaimer: Call The Midwife belongs to the BBC and others - I am simply borrowing their beautiful characters.
Author's note: I have had a total nightmare with my electronic devices and as a result have lost my updates for Convergence and the next part of MoT. Fortunately I managed to salvage an email jlynsca sent me with her edited version of this part so I still have this - but I am really gutted that I've lost my work. I'll be scouring my cloud later to see if there is anything on there I can use, but in the meantime there will definitely be a bit of a longer gap between updates. I hope this keeps you going in the meantime. Big thanks to jlynsca as always.
Delia was helping clear the table when the front doorbell chimed. Sister Winifred obligingly opened the door to let their visitor in.
Delia looked down the corridor, knowing that it was Dr. Parker, but unable to completely isolate herself from what was going on. She bristled immediately. The brunette doctor was dressed in a bright red dress and impossibly high heels. "Meeting, my arse," the Welsh woman growled, unconsciously standing up straighter and stepping out into the hall. It was about time someone wiped the smug smile off the woman's face.
Delia managed just two steps before her arm was gripped in a steely vice by Nurse Crane, stopping her progress instantly. Delia spun round to face the older nurse, eyes blazing. "Let go," she demanded coldly.
Phyllis didn't bat an eye. "Nurse Busby, I understand you've completed the archives in the attic. Would you care to give me a grand tour?"
"I'll be happy to do that Nurse Crane, once I've finished attending to some more important matters," Delia replied through gritted teeth.
Nurse Crane remained unperturbed, and did not remove her hand. "Nurse Busby, I have always been an advocate for people seizing their chances and making the most of their opportunities," she continued confidently.
"Good. Then let me go and take the opportunity to do something I should have done days ago," the younger nurse replied hotly.
"Think about the consequences, Nurse Busby," Nurse Crane cautioned, her voice still mild.
The brunette stared balefully at the doctor, and made no attempt to stand down. Enough was enough. "Nurse Crane, you don't understand. She needs..."
"I'm sure she does, Delia," Nurse Crane interrupted softly.
The use of her first name surprised Delia and she whipped her head round to look properly at Nurse Crane. Concerned understanding was etched across the northern nurse's face.
"Now is not the time," Phyllis commented. "Please, show me the archives." She smiled softly, seeing that she was finally getting through to the Welsh woman.
"This isn't the end of it, you know," Delia pointed out gruffly, allowing her ire to dissipate slightly.
"Nurse Busby, when the time is right, I will be holding your coat for you. But right here, right now, is not the time."
To say Delia was shocked was an understatement, but it was quite clear that Phyllis was absolutely on her side. It was also somewhat disconcerting that she appeared to be supporting her eventual taking of action. She narrowed her eyes at the midwife before smiling a tight-lipped smile. "You know we're going to have to walk right past her in order to get to the attic."
"Yes, and you're going to treat her politely or possibly disdainfully, but most definitely not give her the satisfaction of letting her know that she's got to you," Phyllis advised in a measured tone.
"You know what's going on, don't you?"
"I've been a nurse for longer than I care to remember, Nurse Busby. Let's just say that there's very little I haven't seen or been aware of in my time." She raised her eyebrows knowingly before nodding her head towards the staircase. "Come on. Show her what you're made of."
"You just told me not to do that," Delia muttered as she stepped in front of Nurse Crane.
"I meant your grace and decorum, Nurse Busby. Not your right hook. Save that for another time."
Delia couldn't help but grin, feeling heartened that someone else was aware of what was going on. She was astonished that it was Nurse Crane, but was grateful for the older woman's presence and pragmatism.
As Delia approached the stairs, Dr. Parker turned round and raised one eyebrow. "Good evening Nurse Busby, Nurse Crane," she greeted cordially.
"Doctor," Delia managed as she stepped onto the stairs. She closed her eyes for a moment after she looked up and saw Patsy at the top of the staircase. She looked absolutely ravishing in an emerald dress, with a daring neckline. Her hair was immaculately pinned up in a fiercely controlled beehive and her make-up was heavier than normal. Delia stood to one side on the landing, allowing the taller woman to pass.
"Hello, Delia," Patsy said softly.
"You look nice," the brunette responded neutrally.
"She looks stunning," Dr. Parker interjected, a wide smile of satisfaction on her face.
Delia saw Patsy pale underneath her make-up and realised that the charade was killing her. She leaned in slightly. "I trust you," she whispered, squeezing her hand briefly before stepping round her to continue up the stairs.
Nurse Crane looked at the doctor and midwife with a raised eyebrow. "Are you two off to paint the town?" She asked, unable to resist a slight dig.
"Just dinner, Nurse Crane," Patsy explained briskly, getting in before Joanna could open her mouth. "But I was told it was a formal affair so I dusted off an old dress." She smiled tightly.
"It won't be just dinner with you as company, Nurse Mount," Dr. Parker corrected, earning a sharp stare of rebuke from the red-haired nurse. "Your company means that it won't be a chore," she hurriedly explained, realising that she was being indiscreet.
"Come on, we don't want to be late," Patsy remarked, heading towards the door. She looked back at Nurse Crane. "Don't worry, I won't be late home," she declared pointedly.
Dr. Parker grinned wolfishly as she followed the taller woman out the door. "We might be," she contradicted in a low voice that only Patsy could hear, smiling as she saw her stiffen slightly. Seeing Patsy and Delia greet each other on the stairs had been an unexpected bonus. Although she hadn't overheard what Delia had said, she had seen Patsy pale slightly and the shock on Delia's face. It was clear that Patsy had abided by her rule of not telling Delia about the date. It was just a shame that the Celtic firebrand hadn't lost her temper. Dr. Parker was certain that Nurse Crane's presence had something to do with that, but no matter. She now had Patsy to herself for the evening and she could re-introduce her to some of the more sophisticated and finer things in life; things she knew intrinsically that Delia would never be able to afford or feel comfortable with.
Patsy sat in silence on the journey to the restaurant; fretting over Delia's reaction to her when they met on the stairs. Patsy had deliberately underplayed her agreement with Dr. Parker, hoping to protect Delia from the situation when she already had so much to deal with. She should have predicted that Delia would see them both leave. She had seen the hurt plainly on Delia's face as she ascended the stairs, and yet the Welsh nurse had whispered that she trusted her. The words echoed through Patsy's head. She didn't deserve Delia. The brunette deserved someone who shared everything with her and had enough faith in her to know that she was strong enough to take it on.
"You're quiet," Dr. Parker commented as she navigated the busy roads.
Patsy sat up straighter and surveyed her surroundings, realising that she needed to have her full concentration on the night ahead. "I've got a lot to think about," she admitted neutrally.
"Well, I do hope you'll talk as well as think," the brunette continued.
Patsy shrugged. "We'll have to see," she hedged. Her eyebrows rose when she realised their intended destination. "The Dorchester?"
"Yes. I wanted to go somewhere with good food and a quiet atmosphere where we can properly talk."
Patsy shook her head slightly as they entered the hotel after Dr. Parker handed her car keys to an attendant. "I haven't been here since I was a child," she admitted, surprising herself at the revelation.
"Then you're long overdue a return visit," Joanna enthused.
"It's not exactly discreet, Joanna. I'm not sure you'll get the opportunity to talk as freely as you want to."
"Take a look around. There are several tables with just women. All out for charitable fundraising. No one will look at us twice," the doctor assured her confidently.
They were guided to a table in a quiet corner and as they threaded their way past tables, Patsy could see that Joanna was right in her assessment. Once seated, she glanced at the menu. Typically, for an establishment like this, there were no prices. The midwife sighed inwardly. Dr. Parker clearly didn't know her at all.
"The calves liver is exquisite," Dr. Parker recommended. "As is the veal."
Patsy fought to keep her face neutral. The two choices the woman had suggested were absolutely the last things she would pick herself. She smiled tightly before providing her own selections to the waiter.
"Really, Patsy, you don't have to be deliberately contrary just to prove a point," Dr. Parker commented as she sipped her wine.
"Joanna, I was rather under the impression that you liked a woman who knew her own mind and was independent," Patsy riposted gently.
The doctor raised her eyebrows in surprise. That almost sounded like banter from the red-head. She had not been expecting Patsy to warm up so readily, after the way in which she had engineered their date. Perhaps things had happened that she wasn't aware of, and life wasn't quite so rosy for Patsy and Delia anymore. "You're quite right," she nodded. "I suppose I was just trying to assure you that you can have whatever you want tonight. Dinner is on me."
"Oh, it always was," Patsy smiled back.
"Are you at least starting to feel more comfortable back in familiar surroundings?"
"I haven't frequented these sort of establishments for years. I'm far more familiar with the local fish and chip shop," Patsy returned brightly.
"You deserve much better than that," Joanna objected.
"Better in what way?" Patsy probed.
"Come on, Patsy, when was the last time you dined properly, with civilised company?" The brunette doctor was aghast.
Patsy smiled tightly. "By civilised company, do you mean a different social class?"
"I note you haven't answered the question, but yes. You're living in a convent through choice. I admire your altruism by working in Poplar. I can hardly criticise that, given that I'm doing the same thing, but it shouldn't be at the expense of your own comfort and happiness."
"Do you think I'm wearing the hair shirt of a martyr and punishing myself for some reason?" Patsy asked, almost amused by the assumption.
"I think you have ideological views and that you're neglecting the other side to life."
Patsy couldn't help herself. "What other side of life is that?" She asked innocently.
"The one where you get to be treated properly. You get courted properly and looked after. The one where you enjoy yourself with like-minded women and aren't taken for granted. The one where you are in a relationship of equals." Dr. Parker had clearly thought about it a lot.
Patsy paused for a moment to collect her thoughts, wondering how she should respond. Fortunately, where they were seated was secluded enough not to be overheard, and there was next to no chance of anyone recognising her, so for the first time in a long time, she felt she could be unfettered. "When I was growing up, I saw the best and the worst of people in conditions that no human being should ever have to endure. As a child, I learned very quickly that social status has absolutely no currency in comparison to common decency. Because I lost almost everything in my life, it took me a long time to trust again and to love again. I couldn't allow myself to love anyone or anything, because I didn't think I'd have the strength to go through traumatic loss again."
Patsy paused and looked up as the waiter returned with their starters, smiling politely as he set down their plates before leaving them alone again. She took a sip of wine before continuing. "The truth is I have to thank you, Joanna," she stated, spearing a morsel with her fork and chewing thoughtfully as the doctor looked at her in rapt attention. "Until you came along, I was doing a very good job of taking someone's happiness for granted. For projecting my own needs onto her and being incredibly inconsiderate of her feelings. I almost lost her once before. When I got her back, I was so obsessed with the need for secrecy that I neglected other needs. I also took her feelings for granted. Thanks to you, I've woken up. You've made me realise exactly what I am so privileged to have, and just how much I could lose, potentially through my own insecurities and neglect."
She levelled a piercing glare at Dr. Parker who was staring back, shocked by the declaration. "What I realised most, through your assistance, however, is just how much strength she's given me; just how much courage to face my personal demons. And my external ones. So let me be perfectly plain. I have absolutely no interest in you, or your inflated sense of ego. I detest these high society circles. I have exactly what I want and need at Nonnatus House and I will not allow anyone to damage my relationships or hurt the ones I love." She smiled coldly as she raised her glass. "So, here's to you, Dr. Parker. Thank you for giving me the focus I needed." She took a sip before loading another parcel of food onto her fork. She gestured at the other woman's untouched plate. "Do tuck in, Joanna. Or have you lost your appetite?"
To be continued...