Hiya! I'll be replying to your lovely reviews at the end of each chapter from now on, and I'll make sure to PM you if you review after I've posted the following chapter. Without further ado...
He wasn't sure if it was the pale bare arm dangling off the top bunk, swaying back in forth in a near hypnotic manner. Or the onslaught of heat brought upon by the broken air conditioning, causing waterfalls of sweat down his backside. Or maybe it was the faint dripping of rain residue outside his window in a neat one, and two, and three beat. But for once in all his years, Ciel had failed in forcing himself to sleep.
Of course, he'd never been a very pleasant sight at nightfall- insomniac even, if the diagnose had been up to him. Never had the boy felt sleepy. Ciel Phantomhive could have been exhausted- tired to the point of falling into a priceless heap of skin and bones. But he still wouldn't have been sleepy. And oh, the difference. One that he'd learned at a very young age.
Tired was when he'd spend thirteen hours rotting in hell, yet again unprepared to close his eyes, knowing he'd only open them and be forced to rinse and repeat. How boring. In fact, Ciel liked the comfort of the darkness and the shift of security that came with it. He supposed it was more or less because nobody was there to probe and pick at him when they couldn't see him. And he needed to keep it that way as long as he could.
Tired was when every night came the same. He'd start off by shoving himself under bleached covers and attempting to close his eyes, but feel the burn of yearning thrill and curiosity behind them moments later. The little lullaby he'd begun at the escape of light had stopped long ago, replaced by the hum of dreading any time remotely near dawn.
Tonight, Ciel had never been more than just that. Exhausted.
Somewhere deep inside, there'd probably be a fraction of himself that wanted to doze off and feel the greet of sunlight on pale eyelids for once without harboring any violent thoughts towards the morning. But what fun was mental peace in the early hours, anyway?
There was a crave of rest, certainly. But his mind always remained clouded with impending thoughts, a whirlpool of carelessness, if you will. In the end, Ciel was just tired. Bored. Unamused. Annoyed. But never sleepy.
Sleepy. That was something Ciel couldn't describe. Or rather, didn't know how.
Even right then, as he gazed intently at the graceful swing of Alois's left forearm, feeling the wetness trickle down his back, and the rhythmic pitter patter of rainfall, he couldn't very well understand what the purpose of slumber was. It just seemed so unnecessary. So pathetic. So weak. So human.
With a hushed snort of irony and shake of his head, Ciel shifted to his side with tightly shut lids, away from his roommate's suspended limb. He could've at least tried.
In fact, he'd used a variety of different methods to wear himself out.
First, he'd repeated the alphabet forwards and backwards, five times each. And then twice in Greek. When that failed, he moved on to counting the threads of his sheets, and stopped somewhere around four thousand seven hundred.
Slowly but surely, midnight turned to one, and one into two, as the shadows shifted and puddled into a mass of darkness that could scarcely be made out.
By the time three managed to roll around, Ciel had gone through a good hundred of Roman Numerals, reached negative sixty four buckets of milk on the wall, and memorized the little hairs on Alois' arm (which had retreated somewhere around two thirty).
But the more effort there was, the more restless he became. The louder the drips were, the more vivid the absence of light and sight, the hotter his neck was. Everything grew extremely lucid, and soon, all he could feel was the tumble of his feet as he slid across the chilling linoleum floor.
With an uncertain glance at his roommate, Ciel latched onto the door handle, giving it a slight jiggle, quiet enough to not wake Alois. He wasn't really sure what he was expecting, but he needed to at least attempt to get out before he suffocated and lost his grip on himself. With a defeated mumble, he looked back at his roommate, eyelids drooping, but not in the way he wanted them to.
Of course, Ciel knew the door'd be locked. Those foolish security guards, Abberline and Randall, as strictly slap-happy as they were, would always double check each unit for loose cells in case an inmate would try and escape. The doorknobs were forever rigid past 9:30, and the halls more silent than the abandoned farm back near Ciel's old home.
He cringed at the reminder, and shuffled forward with a drowsy gaze and blurry eyes. Almost immediately afterwards, Ciel felt his left foot slip on top of the waxy tile, sending him straight forward into the seemingly locked door.
He reflexively clasped onto the cold metal knob, face planting into the wood with a faint clomp as the door was pulled from its latch, shining the same stiff fluorescent light into the darkness of Cell 0076.
Ciel wheezed silently, eyes wide as he made another look at the blond inmate in the room, who had begun shifting, but back still facing Ciel- thank God. With a flushed face and mouth agape, he tentatively stuck his head out the door, careful not to alert anyone who might've been passing.
Oh my god, he thought, quickly shutting the door in a fit of panic. Shit.
He felt his breath hitch as worry clouded his thoughts. Dammit, the cameras must have caught him. Or worse, one of the guards. Then they'd place him in confinement for attempted escape- alone. As much as he hated that sex-addict on the top bunk, the thought of spending any time isolated in a place he loathed was more frightening by a longshot.
Yet underneath all the paranoia he so regularly experienced, Ciel felt this un-welcomed gush, as if someone had just knocked open a dam in his lungs. For once in his life, his escalated lack of breathing felt... good. The extreme beating of his heart almost addicting.
But Ciel waited. Ten seconds. Then thirty. Then a whole three minutes. That's when the ringing of his ears in echoing silence ceased, and the thundering of his heart faded into a pitter patter within.
When Ciel was sure he could feel the stillness of his room welcome him once more, he decided it was probably best to leave the door be, and just sleep it off and ignore the blossoming curiosity in his chest.
Then he paused, fingers frozen as he fisted cotton sheets.
Maybe just this once...
No. He squinted, sliding into the safe-zone of his bottom bunk with a shaky sigh.
It was probably best to leave everything be.
Besides, he was too tired for adventure.
A sickly pale nose wrinkled in offense at the gust of wind rushing from the outside world, whipping around dark strands of hair along with it. Two dull blue eyes opened to face the gated gardens of Hatfield Prison, followed by grumbling about the blinding rays of morning glazing the scene with an untouchable kind of warmth. A thick barb-wired fence surrounded the greenery, an eyesore amongst nature. If not for the sharp wires and cameras surrounding, it would have been far too easy to just climb over and run.
Something bitter and light wove its way through the breeze, one so dainty many might have mistaken it for the regular billows of smog from the nearby cities. It was, after all, a nice spring afternoon just like any other. But Ciel knew better than many.
The boy allowed a single mumble to slip out at the slippery mud caking his shoes once stepping forth, lips pursing in distaste as he tried to wipe it off on the dewy grass. That's when he'd fallen arse over tits across the entire field, knees planted what felt like meters deep within the gushing dirt.
For a second, he'd forgotten why he decided to visit the blasted outdoors in the first place. Had he not had his pride and everything to uphold, he probably would have started screaming bloody murder until his lungs gave out, but he was a gentleman after all, opting for a set of gritted teeth and impatient yanking of grass as the leather notebook slid out of nimble fingers and into the wetted soil. Never mind those manky pillocks on the inside of that hell hole, but now it seemed as if even escaping the main pits of the underworld weren't enough to put him out his misery.
Kill me now.
"Ciel? Is that you?"
A head of slate whipped around, breath hitching when he was met with a face full of straw-blonde hair barely five centimeters away. With a swallow and sharp intake, he dropped the fistful of weeds and grass blades, letting them float away wordlessly in the billowing air.
"Oh," Ciel frowned awkwardly with a shrug and flutter of mud-ridden fingers, "Finny."
Shit. Considering his previous luck, Ciel almost expected that. The other inmate only gave him a wide-eye cheshire at the still-seated boy, one that Ciel was sure had been permanently etched on at some point long before they'd met.
Finnian, or Finny as most referred, was one of the few inmates Ciel could withhold an actual conversation with without the wanting to slit his own throat. Ciel only had few scribbles about Finny, both of them being about his glowing demeanor that could be a tad overwhelming at times. From what little Ciel knew of this guy, he couldn't fathom how someone like Finny ended up at Her Majesty's Pleasure.
Swamping joy. Strong hugs.
The first time they'd met was a bit fuzzy in Ciel's memory, but he could barely recall accidentally walked into the garden and stepping on a patch of baby tomatoes while somebody fretted oh-so-dearly in the corner. That had been his first and last trip to the outdoors.
All in all, the two weren't very close. Finny spent most of his lunch break with one of the inmates on kitchen duty, and all of his other time tending to the garden. And Ciel. Well, he spent his lunches being harassed, and his other time moping in his cell and playing therapist. It wasn't difficult to see how their paths had never crossed.
"What're you doing here?" Finny inquired as he picked at a nonexistent speck of dirt on his uniform, "You normally don't come out at all."
Ciel blanched at his frankness, lips parted with shallow breaths and a genuinely amused cock of his eyebrow. How wonderfully subtle of him.
"I was beginning to worry if I didn't get out much sooner that I'd stop growing," Ciel stated simply, having stood up crossing the path of dirt to inspect a budding tulip. Had it not been for the strange glances he was receiving periodically from the other inmate, Ciel would have gladly slapped himself for that poor fabrication. As if he gave a damn about how tall he was.
He'd only come out of his hiding hole to hide, ironically, from those 'Welcome Back' enthusiasts within the walls, bellowing in the cafeteria. Just as Ciel had expected, everyone had gone bezerk because of this blooming 'Sebastian' and his awaited return, plonkers screaming to assemble and deliver, cards thrown about in a frenzy of signing. Then there was a swarm of inmates requesting extra lunch time to discuss about how they'd greet him. It was chaos within chaos.
It wasn't really the mayhem that bothered Ciel, though. After all, what would Hell be without disorder? No, he didn't really pay attention for whatever schemes the others were plotting, as long as they left him out of it. He much more liked watching than partaking.
Unfortunately, nobody seemed to get the memo, so to say he was a tad bit agitated when they burst into his cell was probably the understatement of the century. He wasn't even sure if anyone other than Alois was allowed in his room.
Furthermore had been a calm exchange of threats, mostly from his part, until the last of them left his room, still yelping about the get together for Sebastian.
Ciel thought the entire idea was absolute bollocks. The officials would catch all of them sooner or later and throw them all in confinement- not that he was complaining. He wouldn't mind if some particular people went. Actually, he thought with a drunken smile, maybe the plan wasn't so bad. They could all go rot in isolation for all he cared.
"Well 'at's better than wallowing alone in your cell, right?" Finny admitted, snapping Ciel out of his day dream, while yanking a wild weed from a patch of squash near the entrance of the place.
The boy stayed silent for a second, not exactly confident in an appropriate answer to the insinuated jab.
"I guess."
There was a pause in between as Finny shifted behind Ciel to look at the tulips as well.
"D'you like the garden?" Finny yapped, leaning on a shovel.
The boy had to fight the urge to snort.
"I guess," he repeated.
Truth was, Ciel didn't very much like anything pertaining to the outdoors. Nature seemed to have every ounce of hate against him, and he couldn't say that he didn't reciprocate. Everything about the outdoors was so primal, messy, animalistic, and to be quite honest, it all frightened him. But whatever his issue be with the outdoors, Ciel had to shove it down if he wanted to find any peace that day.
Finny frowned, picking up a fallen pot of bat orchids up with a gaze like that of a mother looking at her child who scraped their knees on the sidewalk. His eyes flitted upwards at Ciel, who was too busy faking an examination of tulips to notice.
"Ciel," the other began, gesturing at the pot in his hands, "could you please care for these while I'm off on my lunch break? They're for Sebastian, and I'd hate to see them ruined."
Ciel nodded dryly, taking the pot with ease while Finny retreated into the building with a wave of his hands at that unbearable grin of his. With a glare at the plant, he set them on the ground, shuddering and shaking when a pill bug crawled up his thumb.
Sebastian this, Sebastian that. Blah, blah, blah.
The man was probably a household name, golly.
Actually, Ciel was dying to meet him. Maybe then he'd finally assure himself that this 'Sebastian' was just some filthy criminal he'd hate just like the rest of them, and not some god shrouded in gold and a pair of dove wings.
Ciel glanced at the notebook laced in his fingers, smeared with dirt and pen ink. There were two possibilities. Either Ciel would absolutely despise this man, enough for him to have chapters upon chapters of bitching, flourishing in vocabulary that was sure to dwarf Dumas. Or Ciel would completely hate him with a passion, enough that there wouldn't be a single letter about him.
That weird curiosity had come back, crawling up his spine as he ignored it in favor for the dark flower on the ground. It had to have been the most terrifying thing of nature he'd ever come in contact with. More so than all the wasps and spiders, more so than the drifting pollen.
He never did see the point in flowers. Vibrant and basking in this utterly glorified version of themselves, wrapped in expensive bouquets and delectable ribbons before being handed off to die at the manicured hands of some ungrateful lady. Kind of meaningless to gift if you asked him.
In Ciel's eyes, flowers were the closest things to compare to humans.
Worshipped and sought after by all, claiming to have some profound meaning, but roots only reaching so shallow in the world.
While young in its prime, gorgeous and priceless. But nearing the end, never uglier.
The nice pitter-patter of rain had not greeted Ciel's awaiting ears that night. Instead, a flurry of silence that probed at his every angle floated throughout the cell, making it even more difficult than usual to force himself into slumberland.
Whatever wonders of the mysterious man's return had been masked by the impending wonder of the room door, and whether or not it was still unlocked like the night before.
Ciel felt his stomach lurch as he moved to lie on his front side, having skipped dinner so he wouldn't have to deal with those crazed fools and their reuniting with Sebastian- who apparently, according to Alois, didn't even show up at his own get together. How lovely.
Speaking of his roommate, he was still sound asleep on the top, light snoring the sure indication. Ciel groaned, ripping the white sheets off his frame with an iron-grip. The air conditioning had yet to be fixed, despite all the complaints he knew he had filed to the commissary that day.
A defining click of his tongue in the heat confirmed his own thought. Tonight, there would be no dreams to dream and no morning greetings. That much was evident with all those swirling thoughts in his mind. Instead of trying to sleep, maybe he'd just try and leave. That way, he might actually get something accomplished.
Ciel wasn't sure what exactly prompted this abrupt declaration of departure, but sooner than later, he felt himself moving towards the door, soles of his feet tingling at the spotless tiles once more.
Could it have been the desperate hunger clawing at his gut? Most likely. Or the lack of coherency because of his exhaustion? Even more so.
Thin fingers wrapped around the metal knob, tugging drowsily in the shadows of Cell 0076.
The only difference was that this time, he knew all the things he was expecting.
The whispering click of an opening cell door was not one of them.
Neither was the welcoming blast of air, and the stunning glow of cold fluorescence as he stepped into the brightly lit hallway.
And a large pair of calloused hands squeezing tightly around his arms definitely was not.
"You must be the new kid."
bordoroloroy: Oh my freaking gosh. That has to be one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me online (lmaooo you should see the jerks on my tumblr). I'm beyond happy you liked it, and I'm far beyond ecstatic that you enjoy my writing! Thank you so much!
promocat: I hope different is good ;) But yeah, Sebastian makes everything more interesting. Thank you!
A/N
I'm sorry this chapter was so messy and short, but at least Ciel finally met Sebby. Kind of.
Am I the only one that finds Monochrome No Kiss extremely depressing? So I re-watch the last episode of Kuroshitsuji II over and over and over again 'cause I both hate it and like (not love) it so darn much. But I have this habit of listening to the song right after watching the season two finale (do not attempt this at home), and I always feel the need to burst into hysterics because the lyrics literally are about what I imagine Sebastian and Ciel's relationship could have been.
Whether it'd have been romantic at all, I don't really give a flying fairy (yes I flipping do), but the connection they'd built within three years seemed to have completely been outdone by the eternal 'curse'. And they were on their way to so much more. Anyhow, sorry, I just feel really unsatisfied whenever I splurge like that, with them disappearing into a field with no explanation (or perhaps they went to Hell, I don't know).Whatever, now I'm gonna silently cry in a corner and do some satanic ritual to summon a hottie and not screw up and waste my opportunities like Ciel.
Thanks again for putting up with me!
With love,
Yellerumbrellas.