~Ouroboros~

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1st - 6. Wish of a Lonely Soul

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The memories started to speed up, not that I noticed that. The memories were… heavier… if you could call them that. My mind was slowly darkening, unused as it was to working at this pace, but I did not pay any attention to it – Couldn't, for I was stuck in the flow of my memories.

I remembered the feelings of anguish that slowly grew over those two sun cycles as my frenzied attempts to find my parents somewhere on my island yielded no results. I had expected them to leave – for even within my own mind the seeds of wanderlust have already started to sprout – but this was too sudden! I simply could not believe that they had left without seeing me one last time!

Without at least a final goodbye…

Why?

Why would they do this to me?

Didn't I mean anything to them!?

Were all those feelings of love, acceptance, and pride; those feelings of contentment when we fell asleep curled around each other as a family – nothing but a false vision?

Was I really just a duty for them to complete, and then leave behind without a second glance!?

I had unknowingly switched to a human dialect in my mind – for while the draconic mind language relies on growls and body language to pass on feelings and emotions as the mind passes on memories and experiences, the human dialects meshing feelings and experiences together were not thus constricted. During the entire time I searched for them I expressed myself in the colorful language of humans in the hopes of numbing my pain, of blunting the feelings of loss.

I remembered the two sun cycles that I spend sprawled on the floor of my cave and staring at the entrance – hoping beyond hope that they would come through that opening. At the end I had to leave – I simply could not ignore the pangs of hunger any longer.

After catching enough fish in the waters surrounding the island, I slept. In my mind it was no longer my island, just another one among countless others. When I woke up, I watched the sunset while eating enough fish to last me for the journey I knew I must take. Then I let the wanderlust take me as I spread my wings and flew away, never looking back.

There was nothing left for me there.

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For an entire sun cycle I glided over the immeasurable expanse of water below me – with no sign of land in any direction I cared to look.

From my memories I remember that I felt no fear throughout this voyage – I let my wanderlust guide me, and it took me to my next destination.

It was under the soft glow of the goddess of the night that I compared my wings to the darkness surrounding me and learned my true name – Nightwing. The name brought shivers to me as it reverberated with my soul, and replaced the temporary birth name that my parents have always called me by.

I was no longer a hatchling, dependent on my mother and sire for survival – no, I was a young OiraRae whose life was in my own claws. If I lived to see a single moonfull of cycles I would be considered an adult, and after f0r3 more perhaps an elder.

And so my last link to my parents was broken as I, for the second time in my life, forgot my birth name.

On the second sun cycle of my flight, as the sun rose from the waters to my left in a beautiful collaboration of colors, I spotted land. This was to be my next step on this journey called life.

I would have collapsed upon arrival if some instinct did not make me hunt for food. Several cod later I circled the island I found myself on and spotted a cave in one of the cliffs along its side.

I have found my new home.

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Even as I flew through the stream of memories that seemed to threaten to consume me – or perhaps push me out of the flow and prevent me from ever regaining them – I could feel my strength rapidly ebbing away. By now I had already regained enough memories to realise the momentous stupidity of attempting this with my mind's flame at barely half its normal size – I simply did not have enough strength to see the procedure through to its completion…

My flame had now shrunk to one third of its full size, and I knew that I could only hold on for two or three more Cycles before my mind shut itself down into a deep sleep. Since my recent check of my body told me that I was already at full length, I knew that I had experienced at least ten Cycles of growth…

For a brief moment I lamented my rash decision – I could have at least slept until sunset and dived into my memories at night under the guidance of the goddess of the moon – when, being mostly nocturnal as part of the OiraRae race, I felt most awake…

Still, there was nothing I could do about that. I could only try and persevere for as long as I could and hope that I would not lose too many of my memories by the time I was forced to shut down.

I refocused on the life I had already lived – and was now living again.

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My second stop on my wanderlust fueled journey was upon this island; which was somewhat similar in size to the one I was born on.

I remember flying over it and finding it to be several miles across and filled with lush greenery, pierced in the middle by a fire mountain that had long ago passed through its final flames. This was already my third Cycle, but it was the first Cycle that I would have to face alone.

Truly alone.

It was quite uncommon for there to not be at least one dragon roosting on such islands – but in yet another similarity with my birth island this one was not inhabited by either dragon or human clans.

The summer moon cycles passed by almost as quickly in my memories as the memories did themselves. Life itself settled down into a monotonous cycle of hunting, eating, sleeping, and flying. During those stale moments when I lay within my cave waiting for night to come around so I could hunt and simply did not feel like going outside to fly, I practiced with my mind skills. Already I was capable of strengthening my muscles and bones with almost no conscious effort – a necessary skill to know to be able to complete those high speed screeching dives that I found so intoxicatingly enrapturing. It was also during that summer that I learned to focus my mind enough to allow myself to think faster – effectively slowing down my perception of time and thus increasing my reflexes.

And so, almost without me noticing the passage of time, my third summer ended and the first true snowstorm covered the island with a white blanket that would only be removed when summer came around again.

I had the fortune to experience the third winter of my life on this island – as thankfully the winter storms seemed to pass it by, and there seemed to be plenty of animal life in the forest and plenty of fish in the ocean surrounding the island; meaning that I did not have to go without food nearly as many times as I did during my second winter.

It also helped that I was steadily getting better at hunting.

When my fourth summer arrived I was surprised to notice that I had not lost weight as I had during my second winter, and as I have been taught to expect to happen from the natural decrease in available food. As it was, I did not have to spend nearly as much time rebuilding my muscles after winter as I did when I first arrived on this island – that time the weight lost during my first winter fending for myself was further compounded by the two sun cycles spent traveling between islands, leaving me with a woefully weak body.

With the end of the last true blizzard of winter my life once again fell into an unchanging cycle of hunting, eating, sleeping, and flying. Once again catching prey became simpler and the number of free hours increased enough to decrease their value from 'precious few to not be wasted' into the 'way too many to know what to do with' range.

Unsurprisingly I filled those hours with more meditation to practice my current mental abilities, and to learn new ones.

It truly took all of my willpower not to end the flow of memories right then and there – not just from the exhaustion I felt, but also due to the double dose of boredom from living through these memories a second time and remembering them as I relived them. Still, I would brave far worse than this for my memories – and likely would have to for the next few minutes / Cycles.

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It was only a single moon cycle before the snow storms returned that I perfected my aim with my plasma bolts. From what I knew of the other dragon races, my kin was unique among them for not having a set limit to the number of shots – but we paid for that with many Cycles worth of grueling training to increase our accuracy, speed of fire, strength of the explosion, and stamina.

The results though, were definitely worth it – sure, I was still nowhere close to the accuracy and range that MaegNur managed to reach with their quills if they took the time to aim properly; but without mental enhancement I have already surpassed the destructiveness of the fire blasts of all the other races.

Naturally I knew that with the stunning proficiency that the elder dragons have in mental abilities, my plasma bolts were more like the little flames of the AiRei in comparison – when I was forced to leave my home for the first time, my sire had literally burned a new cave for me with his fire – completely incinerating the solid rock that made up that part of the cliff's face.

Still, I was content with myself – I knew I had uncountable Cycles ahead of me to perfect my mental abilities to my sire's levels; at the very least my body was now in prime condition and would remain that way until my descent into the Abyss if I took diligent care of it.

And on that high note I entered my fourth winter. It was mild considering what I had experienced on my birth island, but still worse than my last winter on this island. It was in the middle of the winter that I started to feel wanderlust gnawing in the back of my mind again. I knew that it would be near suicide to leave the island in the middle of the winter for someone as inexperienced as me –

Unlike my parents…

That thought sent a pang of pain and a wave of depression through me – I had tried not to think too much about them ever since I found out that they had left me… I shook off these thoughts and focused instead on burying my wanderlust and ignoring it until the end of winter – if I could hold off that long then the next flight of my journey would be much easier.

Wanderlust truly sets us apart from the other dragon races – for unlike the others who only have to worry about insanity setting in from skylust if they have been away from the skies for too long (or worse, know that they can never return to them again), me and the other OiraRae also have to worry about becoming insane from fighting against our instincts to move on. In either case fighting too long would result in a birth of a NaaiNe.

It is because of our wanderlust that we are considered the hermits of the dragon races – for it is impossible to stay in a group when you could begin to feel the need to move at any time – it may be Cycles upon Cycles before you feel it; or it could come back within a single moon cycle of your arrival.

It was just my bad luck that my sense of wanderlust came almost two full Cycles after my arrival at this island – during the heart of winter.

Fortunately my hunting skills were up to scratch and I made it through the winter while maintaining most of my body weight even with the steadily increasing impatience and mood swings that came with ignoring wanderlust for too long – I would have made a piss poor companion if I had someone to share this existence with, but fortunately I was alone and no one had to live with my increasingly foul mood.

Well, no one but me – and it nearly drove me insane.

By the time winter ended with the melting of the last piles of snow, I was barely capable of sleeping from the jitters passing through my mind and body – it was truly a wonder that I was still sane enough to go fishing one last time before setting off, even more so that I actually managed to catch any fish in the state of mind I was in.

I didn't even bother sleeping before I spread my wings and took off – It wouldn't have been possible in any case with the knowledge that I would be leaving the next day – I was too high strung, and my mind too close to shattering.

The moment I was in the air again and heading away from the island that had been my home for two Cycles, I felt relief wash over me – washing away all the anxiety brought about by the wanderlust; leaving behind only a deep sense of satisfaction. In a way I could compare it to taking a deep breath of much needed air after swimming deep in the waters of the ocean for who knows how long – the breath coming just as you are about to drown.

Truly the sense of relief at that moment is indescribable.

As my wings took me to my next destination I reflected on the fact that throughout my entire stay on that island I have not once seen another dragon – either an Eternal Wanderer like me or any other kind.

I remember hoping that my next stop will have at least some dragons or humans – to relieve my boredom if for no other reason.

Unfortunately for me – my wish came true, for on my next stop there was an overabundance of both. Not that I knew that yet.

My next stop was the island of Berk.

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A/N

Short, I know.

I do like my chapters to be around the 4-6k range, but some like this one just have to be shorter and I don't feel like padding them up as that would detract from the story flow. Besides, the –

Wait! Don't go – I just wanted to say that the next chapter will be out –

SLAM

… Tomorrow…

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Thank you all who read / review / glance at my story.

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Saienai