Chapter 2
Here Is the second chapter…. Hah…. Here it is, these chapters are coming out a bit shorter than I had originally planned but I have shortened this due to where I have placed major scene/time changes so that each change is the beginning of a chapter. What would readers like to see though? Longer chapters? I'm worried that this beginning will be dragging out too much though, input would be much appreciated since as a writer, I want my readers to be entertained to the fullest! Thank you!
Ichiro laid upon his bed, he listened to voices, voices of children making their way back to their rooms for quiet time, voices of staff members laughing and joking, voices of being that seemingly called out to him only. Ichiro closed his eyes. The dead, he presumed, was the whole reason he was in this mess. Undoubtedly he had a dysfunctional brain. He got dizzy spells, constantly felt an aching in his chest, and saw people and creatures that were blind to a normal, non crazy person's eye.
He was crazy. Crazy. Crazy. The words repeated in his head and his thin brows furrowed and the thought. It often got to him, his lack of school and normal education, his inability to get a job, have a home of his own, be normal was all because of this. He had spent the last 10 years of his life in different wards for the mentally ill, taking multiple medications and going through the same routine every single day without change. Other kids had visitors, he did too, just not normal ones. Just not visitors that would make him at least somewhat normal in comparison to everyone else at the ward even. He knew he was the odd one out. Late nights hearing children call their parents, events and holidays where family visited and brought treats. Ichiro hadn't known a single person from his life, and not one had come to visit him like the others.
Seeing ghosts was what he hated the most. In many facts, it made him cynical about lots of things, himself especially. It wasn't just the ghosts faults, after all they weren't even real. It was his. His fault for being messed up, his fault for having odd thoughts, his fault for living in a whole other world by himself. It was an incredibly lonely world and he often saw himself as if standing on a border, though no one else was on the other side with him. He was alone, and he couldn't help but think that perhaps even this view was unreal, as he was crazy. He trusted himself with nothing, when it came to feelings, to sights, he had himself convinced that whatever he heard, felt, saw, was all of imagination. He began to numb himself to certain things, but the aching realizations were still there, and his sane mind knew subconsciously that he couldn't just escape.
Honing into one of the voices, he recognized a young, dead girl he once acquainted himself with.
"Ayu" His mind supplied. It was a hospital so why wouldn't ghosts haunt it? Because he was a crazy idiot, that's what he told himself. He was able to visualize the small transparent girl, both her hair and eyes were a shade of lifeless brown that carried no reflection of anything, bleed still seeped down her body like her head wound was one of eternal trouble. Her mouth was running, discussing and describing things to Ichiro, though with his racing thoughts her words came to deaf ears. He gazed right through her to the blank wall, specs of filling spewed across in attempt to fix whatever damage previous occupants had left.
"Oi.. Ayu, what's the news for today?" Ichiro asked quietly. Somehow these dead figures had great gossip and connection to their surroundings, and he often amused himself with asking for their thoughts and seeing if perhaps they were right, which they usually were.
"All the doctors are gone for a health meeting this mornin! They're gon cut out all their meetins' for today. It's S'pose to rain too but the psych techs still want to have an outin day! How fun!" Ayu laughed, her form coming to a comfortable sitting position in the air and hands coming out infront of her in a sort of exaggerated explanation.
Ichiro hadn't taken into consideration that today may have been an outing day, he hadn't gotten many of them, especially because besides the times of random dizzy spells, he'd also get very cramped and claustrophobic in the hospital and would lash out. His mischievous side got the best of him and already he found himself grinning in excitement. His head filled with different sensations that he couldn't grasp, but knew existed. The smells of outside, the wind, the noises, everything would be different, to have the sky as his ceiling instead of multiple floors of concrete and medicine... He felt a bit of a shiver at the feeling. He didn't hesitate to finish his chore sheet, as his conformity to the system would be the thing to allow his trip.
He had four hours left until it was time to go out to the gazing yard, where he could interact with nature and be somewhat part of the world. He sat on his bed and began to crumple under the pressure of his thoughts once again. Just because he was obedient did not give him much reason to be allowed to outside for the time. He had very minimal experiences being outside, more so were when he was younger and in the orphanage before they deemed him mentally ill. His shoulders slumped as he thought about his one and only life gone and spent in locked, guarded walls. What would it have been like to play at a park? To have gone birthday shopping, or running through snow. What had snow even felt like? What did things like pizza taste like? Things other kids gushed about in their excitement, things he never experienced.
The clock turned 1:25pm. Ichiro glanced up with heavy eye lids, it would be time where his newly assigned nurse would bring him his medication, just like everyday. The shade on his door flipped and eyes peered in before the door itself opened slowly and silently. In came a new nurse, she wasn't one he had seen before and he quickly assumed she came from another unit.
"I have your medications for this morning, Mr. Kurosaki." The nurse stated softly, slowly closing the door behind her before making any move to approach him.
It was the nurse's first time attending to the boy, coming from the adult ward she had taken up the chance to work with some of the children from the adolescent units. She wanted older children, as younger children were still a lot to deal with, but she was new with nursing and she seemed intimidated by the younger occupants of the hospital. She took in Ichiro's appearance, one of the adolescents she was given watch over for the week. He seemed innocent and harmless enough, his overall presence was not as large as his file had made him out to be. Like many of the occupants, his small frame was dejected and broken.
"Okay." Was the simple, monotone reply he gave. His face was set in a neutral expression but his large, doe-like violet eyes were filled with constant changing emotion. The nurse let out a sigh, the last thing she wanted was a battle. She was not fond of codes. Carefully shuffling to Ichiro's desk, she places down two identical paper cups, one with water, another with pills. The nurse pulled out a large bottle of liquid and a syringe, placing the syringe on the table to open the bottle's cap.
Ichiro captured her attention immediately when a sour scowl formed on his face and he visibly tensed.
"I don't want it!" He gasped out. He pressed his back up against the wall as if begging for entrance into the wall. His small body clung to the bed and he held a determined stare at the nurse, his brows furrowed. The nurse had worked with other patients before, but this was her first with a child, someone who looked so vulnerable. She wavered for a few moments, wishing she had a colder heart for the job. Ichiro had hated that particular medicine and it's side effects. He could clearly recall all that had happened while on the medication, his mind was almost completely clear. He could remember things but no thoughts occurred during the process, it was like he was watching from outside his body; especially because his body wouldn't move or respond at all.
Everything was grey and blurry in Ichiro's world under the influence of the liquid. His limbs would tingle and feel heavy, he knew they were all there but it was as if he was paralyzed. During these moments he could recall lights, colourful lights and orbs, noises and beeping sounds that made him feel sick and dizzy- like one big feverish dream... He felt stupid watching the faces of nurses attempt to making small talk to him despite reducing him to a vegetable. He was mentally ill.
Ichiro placed a pillow inbetween him and the nurse. He happened to look close to screaming.
"Hey, hey it's good for you, I promise. It'll only be a bit, you know these injections only happen once in a while." She approached him slowly with a hand out, as if trying to reason with a dog, not that he knew. In a swift motion he raised his arm, pillow in hand, as if ready to throw. The nurse quickly reacted, her arms flying up in defense and the syringe falling with a smash on the ground. The hit never came, she found. She slowly opened her eyes from her defensive position to peer at her patient, his hand was visibly lowered and his whole body slouched, but his gaze was straight out the window.
"It doesn't matter what I do.. Does it? I've been here for years... I just want to go outside." He muttered, the nurse strained to hear what he had said but could clearly see the sadness bubbling up into his eyes. Silent tears found their way down his face and he quickly hugged his arms.
"I'll take the medication." He said quietly. The nurse nodded her head and smiled.
"Thank you. I'll remember your act of self control. Logical thinking is a good sign." She said, though her expression remained stoic. Ichiro nodded his head, he knew this was bound to happen, his heart hurt and his chest began to enclose on itself, he hated himself. He hated himself for being him.