Chapter Nine: Final Decision
"I don't know what you want me to say," Anna said, looking over at Leia, who was sitting across the table from her. The medical frigate had offered the Rebels their own rooms to rest in, which Anna was grateful for. She had requested Leia to come into her room so that the two could talk about Anna's decision. She had slept on it for a while, and truly came to the best conclusion.
"There isn't much for you to say," Leia answered. "You're leaving us, that's what's going on."
"I'm not leaving you," Anna answered with a firm and authoritative tone. "Since you weren't there, Luke told me that it would be best if I returned to Master Yoda to train as a Jedi. I'm behind in my training compared to Luke, and he wants me to be trained so that I can be stronger."
Leia sighed and looked down at the floor. "I know Luke is acting with the best intentions," she said before looking up again. "But consider what you've done for the Rebellion already."
"I've done nothing," Anna said. "I've only been there to witness Luke getting his hand severed by a Sith Lord, and buying you a few extra moments to go and rescue Han, during which, you weren't able to rescue him. I've done nothing significant."
"You're already stronger than most of us," Leia said. "The fact that you have knowledge of the Force is already a major step-up from where I, and most of the other fighters, have in terms of skills. I just want to make sure that this won't hurt us."
"I'll come back, Leia," Anna said. "I'm not leaving the Rebellion forever. I don't thank that I have it in me to do that."
"What makes you say that?" Leia asked, her tone dropping.
"It's—" Anna paused, not wanting to admit the real reason that she was staying around in the first place. Not now, when the feelings were still so raw. "Nothing. It's not important."
"No, it is," Leia said. "I can see it. Whatever you're feeling is holding you back. You can tell me, Anna."
"If I said it, you'd think that I'm insane," Anna responded, turning her head away from Leia to look at the ground. The feelings that she was feeling toward the boy that had just had a prosthetic hand constructed on his right arm were completely new to her, and she wasn't confident in sharing them with anyone. Those feelings of uncomfortableness were reflected in her Force spirit, and Leia was able to pick up on them, even though Anna was sure that they were weak.
"It's Luke, isn't it?" Leia asked, already knowing the answer. Anna's eyes flashed over to the young woman sitting across from her, expecting a look of disbelief, or even disgust, but Leia's face showed no sign of any of those emotions. "You know, I'm not that alien to those feelings," she continued. "When I met Han, I knew that I felt something for him, but I wasn't about to admit it. Now, I've accepted them."
"And now, you're hurting because he's been torn away from you," Anna said. "That's why I never got caught up in my feelings. I'll always end up hurting myself if I do. I know it's cliché, but it's true. When I was on the catwalk while Luke and Vader were fighting, I felt it when Luke's hand was severed. I didn't see it, but I knew, and at that point, I knew that my feelings were there. I've admitted to them, but only to myself. I don't think that Luke shares the same feelings for me as I do for him."
"What makes you think that? If he wants you to go back to Dagobah, then it shows that he has some sort of a care for you. Romantic, maybe not, but he wants to see you succeed as a Jedi, Anna, and I cant blame him for it. There are barely any left, and those that are left are still in hiding after that dreaded day that the Emperor said to execute Order 66."
Something flashed behind Leia's eyes, as if she was remembering one of her most painful and darkest memories. Anna forced a smile and lightly reached over the table to place her hand on Leia's arm to give her comfort. The former Princess could only smile in thanks, and Anna pulled her hand away. She didn't want to get into why Leia had those feelings, and why it had been Order 66 that had triggered it. Anna had not yet been born when it had been executed, but she was born very soon afterward.
"I've made my decision," Anna said standing up. "And Luke deserves to know. After all he was the one that suggested it."
Leia looked up and nodded, also standing up. Anna held the door to the room open for her as they both walked out into the white hallway together. Everything about the medical frigate was white, that is, except for Anna. She was wearing all black, and didn't want to change that. The idea of wearing white was not too appealing to her. She never wanted to blend into the fabric of life as most people did under the rule of the Empire.
Leia broke away from Anna, while the young Jedi-in-training kept walking. Luke was stationed in his own room, still recovering from his traumatic experience on Cloud City. He hadn't been too bad, in the sense that he wasn't constantly relapsing, but the emotions were still there, waiting to take over and weaken him. He was still trying to accept the fact that Vader was his father, and that alone seemed to be something that would take a long time to recover from.
The door to Luke's room was propped open a few feet, and she could see that he was sitting up in his bed, dressed in cream-coloured shirt and pants, and he smiled as Anna walked in. She could only return his smile weakly, her mind still thinking about Leia's masked display of emotions.
"You all right, Anna?" he asked as she approached his bed.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, and turned to look out the door, checking to see if there was anyone eavesdropping. "Mind if I close the door?"
"No, go right ahead," he responded, and sat up a little bit more on the bed so he could look at her from a better angle while she closed the door with the Force.
"I came to tell you that I made my decision," she began, walking over so that she was standing at his side. He watched her every movement, and she knew that he could sense the slight discomfort that she was giving off through the Force. "I'm going to return to Yoda, and finish my training. I thought about what you said, and as soon as I'm finished, I'll return."
Luke's ice-blue eyes light up at the sound of her words. "I'm glad you came to that choice," he said. "I know that it was difficult and I didn't want to pressure you into it."
"No, you didn't," she said, closing her eyes in an exaggerated blink before she opened them again. "I just don't want to be stuck here for the time that it will take to find Han. Besides, I don't know where he's gone, and I don't think that I could be much help."
"You'd be a lot more help if your training is complete," Luke said. "But I'm happy for you. When are you going to leave?"
"Um, I'm not sure," she responded. "I don't really have a ship to take me there, so I'm stuck here on this medical frigate until I can get one."
"I'm sure that Leia wouldn't mind getting a small ship for you to use," Luke said. "After all, we are still small in numbers, and we've lost a lot of pilots…" His voice trailed off, and she saw that same flash of sadness behind his eyes as she had seen in Leia's.
"Something wrong?" she asked, crouched down so that she was almost at an even level with the bed.
"Just thinking about one of my old friends," he said. "It was during the Death Star attack. His ship was shot down." Luke sighed, and Anna boldly reached out for his left hand, as it was closer to her, and let her small fingers rest in-between the grooves of his own. Luke looked over at her suddenly, and she made a motion to pull away, but his right hand quickly covered her hand. "Don't," he said. "It's alright."
She smiled and tried to get her heart to stop frantically beating. She never expected Luke's touch to have such a mesmerizing effect on her. The feeling under her skin wasn't uncomfortable, but it was gentle, like subtle tingles. Suddenly, she was transported back to the time not too long ago, when Luke had been a stranger to her, keeping her down by lightly pressing down on her collarbone. She had been scared of his touch then, and even slightly angered by it, but now it was the opposite.
"Stay here, for just a little longer," he said. "On this ship, I mean. Don't feel rushed to go and tell Leia that you need a ship just yet." Anna smiled at him as she stood up, lightly pulling her hand out from between his.
"Is that your brilliant plan to keep me wondering what else you might be up to?" she asked.
"Maybe," he said with a smile. "But I'm serious."
"Sure," she said with a sarcastic tone as she walked out of the room.
As she walked through the thin halls if the medical frigate, Anna's mind was functioning on overdrive. She would return to Luke as soon as she found the confidence again to face him. She had no idea why she was feeling embarrassed, or how it was even related to her current feelings, but she was still new to the feelings that came with caring for someone so deeply.
She turned a corner and nearly ran into Artoo, who had been slowly prowling around as he usually did. She threw her hands up in front of her as an apologetic signal. "Sorry Artoo," she said. "I was wrapped up in my thoughts and wasn't watching where I was going." The droid beeped, and she took it as thought he accepted her apology. "Where's Threepio?" she asked, and right on cue, the gold droid was spotted at the other end of the hall, walking in the same fashion as he usually did, with his elbows sticking out and constantly looking around in fear of something suddenly sneaking up on him. The droid didn't seem to have a particularly positive outlook on his existence in the Rebellion, and it was a humorous contrast to Artoo, who acted almost-carefree at times.
"Oh, Miss Anna!" the droid cried out as he neared her. "Is Master Luke all right?"
"Yeah, he's fine," she said. "I was just in his room making sure that he was doing okay." She didn't dare go into the details of what had happened. She didn't expect the droid to understand human emotions. "Anyway, where are you headed off to in such a hurry?"
"Princess Leia wanted us to come by her quarters," he responded.
"Some sort of a mission, I guess," Anna said absent-mindedly. "She must really miss Han."
"Oh yes, they care about each other a great deal," Threepio said, and Anna smiled at the way he said it. It was clear that he didn't have a great understanding of human emotions. Artoo once again broke her thoughts by lightly pushing at her lower legs. She quickly moved aside so that the droid could move by her.
"Where did they take him?" she asked.
"Jabba the Hutt's palace on Tatooine," Threepio said. "She wants to make sure that everything goes smoothly."
"So I figured," she said. "Alright, well, I need to go and rest again, and you should probably go to Leia."
"Bye Miss Anna," Threepio said before he shuttered off behind Artoo.
This part of the story is a little bit slow, and I apologize for that. I'm working on building up to something big, so all of the character development that's happening right now won't last for much longer.
I also edited chapters 1 and 2, since I read over them for the first time in months and realized all of the typo's and run-on sentences that were there. Nothing is more embarrassing than finding errors in something that you think is perfect...
I am writing in Camp Nanowrimo so I'll be turning my attention over to that for the month of July. However, I am writing all of the chapters for this story that will be released in July now (the last week of June), so that I can have my attention on my Camp project, and keep you awesome readers happy :)