~Ouroboros~
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1st – 17. Mirrors of the Soul
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Climbing down into the cove was easier than he had thought, even with a half filled basket of fish hanging off his shoulders. The tree roots that he had had to climb down offered much more in the way of hand- and foot- holds than he had expected and were rough enough to provide a good grip. Of course now that he was standing here in the actual cove, the apprehension he had felt returned with a vengeance. The boulders along the wall that he was currently using as impromptu hiding places seemed woefully inadequate – as was the wooden shield he pilfered from a pile of fixed shields back at Gobber's.
"Come on Hiccup – this is what you wanted right? All you have to do is feed the dragon and run before it eats you…" he muttered to himself before taking a few steadying breaths. Quite unsurprisingly his words did little in the way of calming his nervousness.
Unhooking his shield and gripping it with his hand, Hiccup dug into his basket and took out a single cod, roughly the size of his arm. Pausing just as he was about to tie the lid back on he instead untied the other side and carefully placed the lid on the ground. If he had to make a run for it he would drop the basket behind him and pray that the Nightfury went after the fish littering the ground instead of after him.
Please let everything work out alright – or at least for me to get out of this alive…
Putting the basket back on his back Hiccup took a few more deep breaths and cautiously made his way towards the only opening in the rocks surrounding him – the opening leading into the center of the cove.
When his shield got wedged between the two boulders, Hiccup could really not bring himself to be surprised. Of course his shield would get stuck – how could he possibly be allowed an advantage, no matter how small, when facing against a dragon? What if he accidentally bruised its throat on the way down or Hel forbid chipped a tooth or two?
With another futile tug he looked down at the fish in his hands and threw it clean over his shield and perhaps ten paces into the cove, futilely hoping that he would not have to get out into the middle of the clearing where the chances of his survival would be even lower than the abysmal level they were at now.
When a minute passed without the appearance of the Nightfury, Hiccup began to worry. Well, ok – he was worried before, but now instead of being worried about his short life expectancy he was starting to worry about the dragon itself. He didn't think that it could have succumbed to hunger this fast – it was after all only the fourth day since it crashed; on the other hand, if its previous attempts were any indication, he doubted it could have left the cove by itself…
Considering that the dragon wasn't coming, and he couldn't spot it from the location he was at, there was only one thing left to do.
Searching for a dragon… Last time I did this the dragon was tied up and at my mercy, and yet I still managed to almost get killed by it. You would think I would've learned from that.
Well, second-last time really, but it wasn't as if that made it much better.
Giving his shield its last tug – more out of exasperation than anything else, Hiccup ducked underneath it before pulling the fish basket after him. Hanging it off his shoulder he proceeded to make his way to where he threw the fish.
Picking the cod back up Hiccup slowly made his way further into the cove. Uncontrollable shivers raced up his spine as his anxiety grew – whether for the dragon's wellbeing or his own, he really couldn't tell; and frankly, that scared him worse still.
Now where in Odin's name could that Nightfury be hiding?
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It's certainly funny how much of an impact simple things can have on our lives.
It was a single sound that awoke me from the meditation like state I was in – just a simple sound of something landing on the grass not too far from where I lay.
I would have disregarded it completely had not the wind picked up a bit and brought the smell of fish to me. For a moment I hovered in indecision as I wondered if I should wake myself up and see what was going on or just remain lying here and wait out the remainder of my life.
Of course my inexperience betrayed me here – I couldn't hold myself in a state of detachment while simultaneously allowing myself to think; the state of detachment is by its very definition a state without time and thought.
As my body's heart rate increased from 'barely noticeable' back to acceptable levels and it took a deep breath of fresh air, bringing with it another dose of that fresh fish smell; I let my eyes open back up and waited as they cleared up.
Trying hard to ignore the prickling, tingling sensation as my nerves started to provide me with the feeling of my body again I tried to move my paws, and after succeeding at that tried to stand up.
I had once before gone into a deep hibernation like sleep similar to this under the guidance of my sire, so I knew that all the strangeness I was experiencing was just the normal part of my body waking up – as blood once more flowed quickly along my veins and the cells of my body started consuming energy again. It was of course worse than before – I had been dangerously close to passing the point when my mind could no longer rise back, and as if sensing that my body had come closer to death than simple hibernation as well.
Several false starts later, as my legs refused to hold me, I finally succeeded in getting up. Quietly making my way over to the surrounding rock formation I started to climb it. I had originally picked this spot as it was surrounded by the sheer cliff wall along one side and half-wingspan high rocks along the other sides – meaning that I would have been undisturbed until the smell of my decomposing bo –
I closed off my thoughts there and instead focused on not making any sound as I scaled over the decently sized boulder back into the main part of the cove, idly wondering just who and for what reason decided to bring fresh fish into my cove, thoughts of death and insanity having been pushed away for a while.
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The first thing Hiccup noticed was a feeling of being watched – a feeling which he promptly ignored as nothing more than his own nerves. The second thing was however much more difficult to ignore, as it was composed of a faint sound of claws grating against stone.
Whirling around he felt his breath hitch in his throat as he finally spotted the dragon, which had noticed him noticing it and proceeded to jump down off the boulder he had first spotted it on, never once taking its eyes off him. Something inside his mind noted that in the position the Nightfury was now in it had effectively blocked his only route back to safety.
Gathering what little courage remained inside him, Hiccup dropped the basket and taking a few hesitant steps towards the dragon held out the single cod he had initially thrown into the cove. Standing still he watched as the dragon strafed along, slowly coming closer while simultaneously putting itself even further between him and the only way out.
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I could not say I was surprised to see the human hatchling. Surprised that he had come back, yes – but not that it was him. He was, after all, the only one that I knew of that knew about this cove, and more specifically of me being in it. His reasons for coming here however were just as much a mystery to me as the last time I saw him.
I decided to get closer.
No, this decision was not in any way influenced by the (mind-numbingly delicious) smell of the fish coming from his general direction combined with the ravenous hunger clouding my mind…
Fine, the (insanely appetizing) smell coming off the fish in the hatchlings claws could have possibly impacted my decision a tiny bit.
My stomach growled in response to the smell of cod in the air and I tried to force it to be quiet without alerting the hatchling. If it wasn't for my knowledge that I was nearly dead on my feet I would have died of embarrassment at such a show of lust towards another's food. As it was, I still felt slightly embarrassed – nothing justified lusting for someone's food.
Pushing the smell of the fish and its taste upon the air off to the side I took another cautious step closer. The entire situation looked all too much like a standard greeting, and I was interested to know if the human hatchling was really initiating one with me. Sure I considered the cove as mine – but I think we both knew that this island belonged to the human tribe of which he must have been a part of, meaning that if anyone was to take initiative to start a greeting between our two races it should have been me – just as I had planned to when I had first arrived at this island, before the situation escalated to… this.
I had it all planned out after all – following my mother's explanations of proper etiquette when meeting with other tribes (including human ones), I was going to catch a healthy deer and present it to the human tribe. Following this the most common response was for the CoiraRei (or elder in human tribes) to greet me and accept my offering, giving a portion of it back to me to signify that I was allowed to hunt within their zone of influence. Any negotiations for me to stay near their tribe until wanderlust exerted its pull once more would be taken care of next.
In the highly unlikely case of them not accepting my offering, I would try again twice more before leaving early. There were after all multiple reasons why they would not accept – drought or very sparse hunting grounds could very well make it impossible for the location to support another dragon, and some human tribes may not want to have a dragon living close by (for whatever reason). Of course in the case of OiraRae most dragon tribes (or so I was told) wouldn't deny the offering as it was only a single dragon whose stay was guaranteed to be temporary, lasting only a few Cycles before moving on.
Food was food after all – and matters of it and any hunting grounds were serious business. If I wanted to stay on the island for a day and leave, well that was my decision. If I wanted to hunt here… well that was another matter altogether.
Of course with this particular tribe of humans, I was particularly lucky to not have gotten around to initiating a greeting with them. From what I saw they were more likely to try and shoot me out of the sky than make any attempts at communication – something that I would not have believed possible had not the sight of them killing dragons been woven into the weave of memories surrounding my soul.
Which is what made the hatchling holding a (-nice, -large, -fresh…) cod out towards me so perplexing.
I was less than a single wingspan away from him when the wind picked up again, delivering a nearly imperceptible smell of iron and dragon blood to me. Nearly instinctually my body moved into a semi-crouching position from which I could attack or jump away with equal ease, while at the same time releasing a low growl as a warning.
The hatching flinched, jerking his paws along with the fish back closer to himself before slowly reaching into his furs to withdraw a blade and dropping it on the floor. My breath hitched for a moment as I wondered if I had not completely misread the situation – it did not take me even a moment to recognize the blade, the dried blood along its length and a dull aching in my side merely confirmed that it had been this exact blade that had come so close to taking my life.
If the hatchling was indeed here to initiate a greeting with me, then what could have possessed him to bring a weapon it had used against me along? By the twin goddesses, he didn't even bother to wash my blood off it!
:: Get rid of it! :: I accented my thought with another snarl and a shake of my head off to the side as I highly doubted the human could hear me.
Surprisingly either my thought or my actions were understood as I watched him nudge the blade with one of his bottom paws and balancing it on the paw throw it to the side where it sunk into the lake. Making a mental note that contrary to my teachings about the way different soul-carriers hunted, a human's lower paws could potentially be as dangerous as the upper paws they most commonly used; I allowed myself to relax from my position which seemed to lower the amount of fear I could feel emanating from the hatchling.
I waited for a moment for the hatchling to put the fish down and back away, but for some reason that I could not understand he instead held it out in his claws towards me instead. A few more moments passed and I realized that he was waiting for me to make a move, so cautiously I approached him, my eyes darting every now and then towards the fish which looked more and more appetizing by the second.
Perhaps the greeting was slightly different among the humans – I could not after all expect them to perform it exactly the same way my mother taught me…
When I was close enough to swipe at him with my claws if I wanted to I opened my mouth slightly, taking care to keep my fangs retracted as if I was about to shoot a plasma bolt – my own way of showing that I meant the hatchling no harm. Seeing how the hatchling was still standing in front of me instead of bolting away, I assumed that my intentions were clear.
Although half my mind was probably clouded by the intoxicating smell of fish by now, I still had the presence of mind to carefully check on the position of the hatchling's paws – one of the primary reasons why the offering was placed down on the ground in a proper ceremony was to prevent anyone from taking a bite of more than just the offering. The hatchling just did not seem to realize that the way he was holding the fish could easily lead to him missing a claw or two from the paws he was using to hold the cod towards me if I was not careful enough.
"What do you know – toothless. I was quite sure you had – "
I didn't quite pay attention to whatever the hatchling was saying as I extended my fangs and shot my head forward to bite down on the fish, tearing it away from the his paws and raising my head upwards to swallow the offered fish in three quick bites. Sure it barely counted as a snack and only accomplished in making my stomach grumble for more, but it was really the thought that counted here.
" – Teeth."
Turning back towards the hatchling I tried to remember the next step before my eyes widened as I realized my blunder. Whether it was because the offering was that small (I mean a fish, really) or because I really was that hungry; but in any case I had completely forgotten to leave a portion to give back to him. I thought of perhaps catching another fish or taking another one from those the hatchling brought with him, but ultimately decided against either plan as I would have to break off the meeting to catch some fish (which may be badly misinterpreted by the hatchling), and as for the second plan, it would be beyond rude to offer him his own fish in return to say nothing of taking his fish from him.
The only option left to me was slightly frowned upon, but hopefully acceptable considering the circumstances. Making my way closer to the hatchling I watched with amusement as he took several steps back away from me before stumbling and falling on his back – a position that humans seemed to be only slightly more mobile in than dragons.
"No no no – I don't have any more. The rest is all in the basket over there…"
I let off a snort – as if I would be inconsiderate enough to take away his catch. I would much rather give another try at catching my own lunch some time later. Food was sacred after all – I would rather starve to death than steal food, as would any dragon. My second winter taught me that much at least.
A few more steps on my part and rather funny scrambling on the part of the hatchling brought him against one of the boulders littering the cove, with my head extremely close to his. This close I could actually feel his mind without diving back into the river of souls as I looked into his eyes – a perfectly round sphere of ice with barely any imperfections on it. Breaking my gaze away from his I heaved a few times and regurgitated the tail end of the fish onto his chest before taking a few steps back and lying to the side, my tail gently flicking as I waited for him to accept his portion.
I lay there, gazing with patience at him.
The hatchling, having drawn himself up into what I guessed constituted a sitting position amongst humans, sat there looking with confusion at both me and the fish.
As the awkward silence stretched I wondered if he was rejecting my offer or simply did not know what to do. Deciding finally to give him a nudge just in case this really was just a case of miscommunication, I proceeded to use my head to point first at the fish tail and then back at him. From the widening eyes and several rapid glances shared between me and the fish tail I surmised that he understood what to do. Now all that was left was for him to –
His look of disbelief and mild horror made me pause for a second and wonder if I had perchance forgotten something. I was quite sure that humans could eat fish, after all the hatchling had brought a large amount of them with him, so that could not be the problem, and nothing else really came to mind that could explain why he would not eat the fish tail…
Perhaps the human greeting did not include this part? But then again it had been mostly the same until now so why would it differ here? Besides – this was the most important part of a greeting, the sharing of hunting rights – why even have one without it?
Seeing him take a bite out of the tail I calmed down. Apparently I had been nervous for no real reason and it simply took longer than I expected for him to remember what he needed to do. He was quite young, and probably didn't think he would actually participate in a greeting until many Cycles later.
Still, it seemed to be taking him longer to swallow even a single bite – I knew of the differences between humans and dragons enough to understand the need for humans to chew things (rather inefficient, I always thought), but even so he should have finished by now.
Gesturing for him to swallow I watched as it took him several attempts to do just that. I was really starting to worry about the hatchling – he should know better than to bite off a larger chunk that he could not easily swallow – his sire should have taught him that at the very least! Seeing as how he put the rest of the fish tail aside and baring his fangs started to grin at me, I wondered if he had simply already eaten before focusing back on the hatchling and trying to decipher just why he would pick this moment to grin at me.
It didn't take long to remember that unlike virtually all other beings in the world humans showed their fangs to express friendliness as opposed to aggression, and with that thought came the question of how to reply to it. I was already lying in a relaxed position with my pupils in their non-aggressive circular state, so the only thing I could think of was to try and mimic his grin.
It was more difficult that I would have imagined to pull off a convincing imitation (at least I hoped it was convincing as I couldn't see myself to form an honest opinion), mostly because I have never used those muscles in quite this way before. Still, from the gobsmacked expression on the hatchling's face I could honestly say it was worth it.
Then I noticed him standing up and approaching me across the half-wingspan distance separating us, stretching out his front paw towards me. I was just in the process of wondering if this was some strange human continuation of the greeting when I noticed that it was not only his paw that was coming closer, but his mind as well.
Distances in the physical world and in the sea of souls are only loosely related – it was possible for someone to be several minutes flight away from you and yet close enough in the sea of souls for your minds to touch, and the reverse was true as well; so the fact that the hatchling's mind was coming closer along with his physical body was unexpected.
I clearly saw the hatchling's sphere of ice approaching me, and an irrational fear of my mind actually touching another rose up within me. I could not really explain it except that my time in the darkness had left some scars on my mind that would take much longer to heal than any wounds on my physical body. I was afraid of approaching other minds – afraid that they would ensnare me and take away what little freedom I had left, no matter how irrational that was.
The wind sensors on my head dropped down along with my ears to lie flush against my neck as my eyes narrowed with their pupils tightening into slits and my expression turned back into a snarl. Even as the hatchling took a step back from me I bolted – flinching away from the human hatchling as I pushed myself to my feet. I didn't even notice knocking the wind out of him with my tail as I whirled away before jumping up into the air and gliding to the other side of the cove. Now sufficiently far away I burned a circle of ash into the ground and curled myself on it, my heart rate only now starting to return to normal along with the gradual widening of my pupils back to their relaxed circular state.
I was nowhere close to being ready to accept such intimate contact. Perhaps if we have met earlier – before my mind had been tainted by that accursed darkness – perhaps then I could have readily accepted the human hatchling's offer. Not now though. In a sun cycle or two I would be willing to try again, assuming of course that the hatchling returned once more – but not right now.
Right now I doubted I would have accepted contact from my mother and sire.
I will just have to give it some time…
Bird song pierced through the air and I involuntarily looked up towards it. But I don't have any time, do I? With my tailfin taken away from me and the sky forever closed off to me, it does not matter how corrupted my mind is – I will be dead or worse, insane within a moon cycle at most…
I have never thought I could possibly come to envy any soul-less creature – any being really, for how could I want to be anything but a dragon? But as I look at the birds flying freely through the air I cannot help but think just how perfect their lives are.
Perfect at least, in comparison to mine.
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As Hiccup lay sprawled on the ground wondering what the Hel just happened, he took the time to thank any and all gods that have been watching over him this day for his continued survival. Somehow – he wasn't quite sure how – he had managed to infuriate the Nightfury which resulted in his current state. Still, some reason he was not instantly killed for his transgressions, whatever they have been.
Since trying to get up would be pointless – what with the world going in and out of focus and his lungs attempting to get back some of the air that had been knocked out of him – Hiccup instead attempted to make sense of this most recent meeting with the Nightfury. The entire… ritual, for he could not find a better name for it, just further drove in the point that dragons (or at least this particular Nightfury) were closer to humans than the Vikings thought. No matter how nauseating the taste and feel of raw fish was, the fact that the Nightfury had shared it with him when it was clearly hungry and furthermore made him eat it clearly showed its intelligence.
And yet the dragons still raid our village…
If the dragons truly were intelligent then the raids were less like the wolf pack raids far south that traders told about which occurred simply because the caravans were the easiest source of food; instead the dragon raids would be more like… a war? But no, everyone knew that the dragons were not quite interested in actually killing the Vikings and were instead focused more on stealing sheep and dried meat – lending credence to them being mindless beasts that attacked only due to the concentration of food within the village.
So did that mean that the Nightfury was the only dragon that was intelligent? It did make some sort of sense – after all the Nightfury was the only dragon that never tried to steal food, probably knowing that its chances of survival were much better in the air, and probably attacked the village because it wanted to decrease the number of dragons that were killed during the raids.
Hiccup felt a shiver go up his spine as he wondered what it would be like to be the only intelligent being in your tribe – alone with no one to talk to, thrust into the position of protecting the others from their stupid instinctual drive to collect food no matter the danger from what could possibly be the easiest or closest food source. If he remembered correctly the Nightfury (for really, no one has ever seen more than one) must have arrived at the dragon nest roughly twelve years ago and having realized the state of affairs decided to protect them in the only way it can.
Everything fit – the reason why the Nightfury had not killed him when it had him at its mercy even though any other dragons that he had encountered before had tried their hardest to no matter the situation; the ritual they had just conducted; everything fit in perfectly! Even when it attacked during the dragon raids it usually targeted the catapult towers and houses so as to take the attention of the Vikings away from the other dragons!
Wow – that means that I brought down and crippled the only intelligent dragon. And that thought brought Hiccup to a halt as he remembered a question he had asked himself earlier that day – would the Nightfury have released him back there in the clearing if it had known that the human it was holding down was the same one who so callously shot it down and crippled it?
For a moment he toyed with the idea of coming clean – of just telling the Nightfury that he was the one that crippled it and accept whatever came afterwards – but he couldn't. If he died here, then who would bring it food until it somehow managed to get out of the cove? Besides which, no matter what he told himself, he really was scared of death.
Speaking of food, the Nightfury seemed inclined to leave the fish he brought with him alone (further proof that it was intelligent, not that he needed any more), but perhaps it would accept some if he offered it some more.
Sitting up now that the world had stopped spinning around him, Hiccup glanced around to see if he could spot the Nightfury. It did not take long to find it considering that it was lying in plain view on the opposite side of the cove. Climbing back up to his feet he walked over to where he had left his basket of fish, and picking it up turned towards the dragon.
The first few cautious steps soon transformed into a hurried walk as the dragon did not make any sign of being angry at his approach, and soon enough Hiccup found himself no more than four steps away from the Nightfury which looked strangely peaceful curled up on a circle of ash that he guessed it must have burned into the ground with its flames. Curled up tightly as it was, it reminded Hiccup of the way foxes slept, just with the fins along its tail (fin – just one, he reminded himself) spread open and covering its eyes.
Depositing the basket of sigh on the ground Hiccup sat down cross-legged and pondered what to do next. A moment later his stubbornness won out over his sense of self preservation and he proceeded to shuffle himself closer to the Nightfury with the well thought out and completely not suicidal plan of shaking it awake. This fortunately for his survival turned out to be unnecessarily as the tail lifted up allowing him to look into the open and slightly annoyed eyes of the dragon. Gulping down the remnants of fear that spiked through him from the glare he pointed to the basket that was now slightly behind him.
"You didn't eat any, but I just thought I'd let you know that I brought the basket of fish for you – so if you want any you can eat some. Consider it a… gift? Offering? An… Anyway, I'll just be going over there now."
The glare was gone by the time he finished, but he still thought it would be prudent of him to retreat before he made another blunder and made it angry again. Now that he thought about it, if it had been that angry at his attempt at approaching it, he did not really want to know what it would have done if he had completed his plan and tried to shake it awake.
Even as he took his time walking away he could hear the sounds of shuffling followed by chomps and growls of what to him sounded like contentment. When he reached the exit from the cove where his trusty shield was still stuck between two rock outcroppings, Hiccup looked back towards the Nightfury and felt his heart rise into his throat as he noticed it no more than a few steps behind him. His heart dropped back down almost as fast when he saw its pupils were open into wide circles and its earflaps standing outwards – altogether looking so completely different from the Nightfury that held him down in the clearing that if he did not know better he would have assumed they were two completely different creatures.
Blinking away at how… peaceful (if that could ever be used to describe a fire breathing monster) the Nightfury looked Hiccup noticed the now empty fish basket it was carefully holding in its teeth. Seeing as he had its attention, the dragon lowered the basket to the ground, and releasing it gave off a croon before looking at Hiccup expectedly.
"Ah – yes, um… Hope you liked it."
There was a nigh irresistible need within him to attempt to approach and touch the Nightfury again, and for a moment Hiccup wondered if the Nightfury felt the same way as it did nothing to move away, but his memories of what happened last time held him back. Still, he was completely unafraid to approach the dragon and look away from it as he picked up the basket and hooked it over his shoulders. Hearing another croon coming from it he turned back around and saw it walk away, back to its recently made nest. He didn't look away until the Nightfury was starting to curl up in its center once more, but once it did he turned around and threw his weight at the shield in a last ditch attempt to get it out.
A single deep growl roused Hiccup from his rapidly losing battle, and turning around he noticed that the Nightfury had not gone back to sleep as he had thought. Instead it was looking back at him expectedly. Not knowing exactly what it wanted he decided to just come back to it and see if he could figure it out. It wasn't even ten steps along the elliptical path around the lake that would bring him to the dragon when he felt a warm wind pass within less than a foot from his face followed by an explosion behind him.
Whirling around and instinctually dropping down into a crouch Hiccup took in the quickly dispersing ball of smoke – one that was much smaller than he would have expected from the Nightfury that had destroyed towers with one or two shots. His heart beating at almost double its regular speed he whirled back around to face the dragon who had not moved even an inch from its position. It was really only the memory of the dragon manual where it said that a Nightfury absolutely never missed that kept him from running away screaming in the hopes of putting at least some distance between him and the dragon – after all, if he was alive then that meant that he had not been the target the Nightfury had aimed at.
Of course the same dragon manual also said that a Nightfury did not need to eat, so it wasn't as if it was that reliable…
When several moments passed without any perceptible movement from either of them, Hiccup gathered enough courage to look away and glanced behind him. The smoke had long since dispersed itself so he could now see the black charred boulders through which he had entered the cove and the surprising lack of a shield between them – the explosion having likely jarred it out. Turning back to the Nightfury Hiccup could not help but wonder if that had been the purpose of the fireball in the first place.
"Well… thanks for that… I guess."
The Nightfury nodded and turned away. This time Hiccup did not look away until it was completely finished comfortably curling up. Looking back at the place he last saw the shield he wondered if it had even survived the explosion – and even if it did how he could possibly explain the charred and paint stripped shield that had less than a day ago been carefully repaired by Gobber.
With a sigh he walked off to search for it, thankful that he had not taken off the basket when he started tugging at the shield as if he had it would have most likely been destroyed in the explosion – and unlike shields its disappearance was much more likely to have been noticed.
The shield was in pretty much the state Hiccup had envisioned it to be. The blast had by all looks originated right from the central metal bulb, further proving the accuracy Nightfuries possessed, and burned away at the painted wyvern surrounding it, leaving behind scorched wood.
It was truly a showmanship of Viking construction or perhaps Gobber's skill that the shield was even in one piece, but there was simply no way he was going to be returning to the Village with it. Even if it would fit in perfectly with the other shields slated for repair-work, it would be impossible for him to avoid awkward questions if he was caught carrying it.
Deciding to just dump it over the bridge on his way back to the Village, Hiccup paused in the process of picking it up and looked back into the cove. There really was not much for him to do back at Gobber's, and considering that he was now quite sure the Nightfury was not going to eat him the moment he turned away from it (or before that) this was a good chance for him to just sit down and sketch the cove as he had planned to do when he had first found it. Feeling safe in the presence of the only dragon to be placed in the 'legendary' classification… All the hits on the head during dragon training must have done more damage than I thought.
Oh well.
Throwing the basket off his shoulders to roll along and lie next to the blackened shield, Hiccup turned back to the entranceway and walked in. Not wanting to disturb the Nightfury he sat down with his back next to the rock he had crawled up against what felt like only moments ago, and picking up the remainders of the fish tail threw it off to the side. The noise it made when it landed in the water caused him to glance over to the dragon lying several hundred feet away, but there wasn't even a flicker of movement from it.
Taking out his sketchpad, Hiccup relaxed and started to sketch out a general outline of the Nightfury slumbering further down the cove from him. Perhaps later he could come closer to get something more detailed, but for now this was enough. He had already been close enough to fix some of the errors of his earlier sketches – namely that there were actually two earflaps below and one above the dragon's ears along both sides of its head, six in total as opposed to four that he had initially drawn.
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It was almost sunset when I woke up and the world was bathed in a dark red, almost purplish light – the shadows stretched far along the walls of the cove, but not far enough to completely thrust the bottom of it into darkness. Standing up I spread my wings and stretched in a typical draconic fashion – wings extended fully, back paws stretching backwards while the front paws and neck forced my head as far into the sky as possible. A few swings of my tail released the kinks along its length and I felt my body responding as it should once more – several moonfull of fish had been more than enough to bring my body back to an acceptable condition.
Looking around I let off a startled warble when I noticed the human hatchling resting against a rock across the cove. Being on the opposite side he was bathed in the red glow of sunlight that still reached down into the cove, whereas I was lying within the shadows. I am sure there was some sort of higher spiritual meaning that I could make from this, but at the moment I was just pleasantly surprised that the hatchling was still here.
He had not yet noticed that I was awake, being engrossed in whatever he was doing enough that even my startled warble did not break his concentration – and neither did my slow walk towards him. I had been careful not to let him notice me (or at least as careful as you could be when there was nowhere to hide that even a brief glance around would not have resulted in him seeing me), and it wasn't until my shadow fell on him that he tensed for a moment before relaxing. It felt… good to know that he trusted me enough to not even turn around when he noticed me approaching.
A few more steps and I was able to look down to see what he was doing. It took a second for me to realize that the strange lines he had placed on what smelled like a strangely shaped piece of wood was actually depicting the cove with me curled up in the center and beams of sunlight shining through the air; the waters of the lake drawn in as well, and with surprising detail.
I remember being taught something like this – unlike dragons who could share images and experiences between each other, humans were chained down into the physical world and so had to find alternate ways of showing the beauty of what they had experienced. What I was seeing now was something that had piqued my interest from the moment I was told about it – a physical memory.
I had to admit that it was just as mesmerising as I had imagined it to be.
"So what do you think?"
::Simply beautiful:: I replied, and then remembering that he could not hear my thoughts gave off a soft croon within which even the hatchling should have been able to hear my awe.
"You started me you know – I was just finishing off the water when your shadow covered me. Always found water to be difficult to draw."
I assumed that drawing is what humans called the process of making a physical memory. Looking back at his memory I traced out with my eyes the carefully placed lines and compared them with my own memory of the cove as seen from this position. There were differences that I could easily pick out – the branches of the tree were slightly different, the rocks of the wall following a slightly more complex pattern… I naturally disregarded the dragon on the physical memory, but even so such mistakes were impossible within the weave of memories surrounding my mind.
To some the discrepancies may have been off-putting, but to me they seemed to just add a sort of mystical quality to the physical memory that simply did not exist in my mind. Interesting how the physical memory wasn't perfect; and that in a way gave it a sort of beauty that did not exist in the reality surrounding us.
The sense of wonder condensed itself within me into something more tangible, and I realized that I too wanted to experience the creation of a physical memory – Something within me wanted to try drawing a physical memory of my own.
Searching through my mind I tried to come up with something that could compare to the memory before me that the hatchling shared with me. Something just as beautiful, and hopefully involving the hatchling as well since he had been so kind as to… draw (still a foreign word to me) me on his memory.
Several images flashed through my mind before I settled on one that seemed to perfectly fit the situation.
Turning back around I searched for something I could use to draw – the wooden stick he was using was way too small for me to pick up, as was the tiny piece of wood he was drawing on. I needed something much bigger.
In the end I pranced over to a young sapling, and giving it a twist after grabbing it with my jaw easily snapped the trunk, leaving me with a larger version of the stick the hatchling had used. As for something to draw on – well there really wasn't anything large enough except for the relatively flat grass covered ground.
Making the first few gashes along the ground I turned to look at the hatchling and preened when I noticed him staring in wonder at what I was doing. A few more strokes, and then a few more… and then I settled into an almost hypnotic rhythm as I layered more and more detail on the memory taking shape on the ground around me. I was so lost in what I was doing that I did not even notice as I smacked the hatchling several times with the tree top when I came too close to him.
In a moment, I was done. Sitting down on my back paws I dropped the used sapling and admired my first physical memory. It may not have been drawn as well as the hatchling's memory, but I have to say it was good for a first attempt. Idly watching as the hatchling took in my physical memory I wondered if he would even understand just what he was looking at.
It was drastically different from the physical memory of the cove that the hatchling drew, but that was to be expected as it was not a memory of the physical world. It was instead my memory of the hatchling's mind within the sea of souls as I had seen scant moments before panic took over. The physical memory was a reproduction of that – depicting the beautifully layered crystal clear sphere of ice that was his mind, memories, and soul along with the unfrozen clear waters within the shell of ice that seemed to almost wish to break its way out.
It may have lost some of its beauty as I tried to transition not only the sight of it but also the feelings extruding from it into a more physical view. Still, even if it did not turn out exactly as I envisioned it, it was definitely recognisable and beautiful in its own way, or at least it was to me.
I could only hope that the hatchling felt the same way.
I watched with barely concealed pride as the hatchling walked partway around the memory – pride that quickly turned into not so concealed shock when he stepped right on top of it. I let out a growl of warning which caused him to swiftly take his paw off my memory. Really, with how hard he had worked to draw his own physical memories I expected more respect from him for the memories of others.
I growled again, this time standing up and lowering myself into an attack pose, as the hatchling stepped on the line of my memory once more, stopping once he stepped off it. When he placed his paw on the line a third time, I was very close to snapping. My growl was much louder this time and it was with some satisfaction that I watched him flinch away and take a step back.
I really could not understand him. Back when I myself had been little more than a hatchling it did not take more than two rebukes from my sire to learn my lesson, and here was a human hatchling that was already approaching for his fourth!
I promised myself that this time I would let off a plasma bolt as a warning. Oh I would make sure it was the smallest size I could make – completely safe unless you aimed it into someone's uncovered eye – but if he did not learn from that, well there was little I could do then.
I didn't need to worry though, this time the hatchling carefully stepped over the line of my memory and freezing in place glanced up at me. I pondered briefly about it before letting off a croon to let him know that was alright. It wasn't as if he was messing up the memory after all.
As I stood there watching, the hatchling took a step, and then another – slowly picking up speed and with a few more steps began to twirl across the physical memory of his soul. In a word, I was captivated. The twirling movements of the hatchling seemed random and yet at the same time it was as if they were a part of an intricate pattern – almost like the flickering dance of emotions through his mind, and I guess my own as well. Faster and faster the hatchling moved, adding slight smudges to grass – making the roughly drawn memory more real.
The next thing I knew, we were in the middle, me looking at him from just above his head and him with his back facing me. I do not know why, but somewhere through his dance I joined in, trying my hardest not to step all over my own memory, and yet unable to prevent my tail or my paws from dragging along every now and then – carving out a line, and then another. We twirled around, spiraling all over the memory, almost imperceptibly altering it until it no longer resembled the original, but instead forming into something else… something greater.
Closer and closer we came, our spirals closing in on the center even though neither of us truly understood what was driving us to do this. We stopped when we were less than a paw-length away from each other. With a snort I blew air into the hatchlings hair, and he turned around to face me. The two of us, painted red in the light setting sun, just stood there; doing nothing but looking into each other's eyes – vibrant green staring deep into vibrant green.
I felt a longing deep within my mind that I could not explain, and wondered if perhaps the human hatchling felt the same.
When the hatchling cautiously extended his paw out towards me – so much like he had done moments after the greeting – so similar and yet so different at the same time – I wondered if this time I would be able to accept the contact between our minds. Once more I could feel his soul approaching mine at the same time as the distance between my snout and his paw decreased. I flinched slightly and subconsciously growled at the human.
His paw drew back slightly, as did his mind – and I felt a pang of regret along with anger at my own irrational fear – the same fear that was the only thing standing between us now, for we have broken our way through everything else. I thought that it was over, that the human would break away and leave, but no – turning his head away from me he extended his paw again, stopping his movements when his paw was close enough for him to probably feel the air coming out of my nostrils as I breathed; his mind stopping just outside of mine as well. I widened my eyes as I understood what he was doing – he could feel my own insecurity and was letting me make the final move.
Thank you hatchling; thank you for understanding.
It was all up to me – even as I stood rock still, the distance between us almost imperceptible (and yet at the same time an infinitely deep chasm that I was afraid of crossing), I knew that the hatchling would remain standing the way he was until either I reached out to him… or turned away.
And for giving me this choice, I thanked him.
The first try stopped before I could even begin it, as did the second. The third attempt pushed me closer before my irrational fear drove me back. It was only on the fourth attempt that my mind finally brushed past his.
It was only a single touch – barely even that – but it was enough. I did not even realize that Hiccup's paw was lying on my snout, as it was all I could do to not loose myself in the connection between our minds as they whirled around each other – a deep sky blue flame of my mind, and a deep oceanic blue water sphere of his; the fire and water meeting together in between our minds and mixing to form the connection.
A feeling of safety passes through me and makes me forget all the terror that I may have felt earlier. I do not even notice that both of our bodies vibrate in tune with the crooning I am involuntarily releasing, but even if I did I would not stop it.
For what feels like an eternity I drown myself in the emotions between us – both of us sharing the feeling of wonder and childish excitement. For the both of us it is our first true connection between minds, and both of us are loath to release it.
A moment later the feeling passes and the connection dissolves as our minds float further away from each other. The blissful moment that had lasted for only a moment and yet took an eternity to end is over, fluttering away like a daydream. I withdraw my snout from Hiccup's paw and turn away. There is nothing more to say or do.
I opened my wings and took off, gliding towards the other side of the cove where I had recently (or perhaps a lifetime ago) burned a circle of ash into the ground. The last time I took this glide, I felt terror, anger, and defeat. Now? Now there was only contentment.
I didn't even notice that my mind – so… tainted by the darkness within which it had lived most of its life, so close to shattering, was clearer. The cut off tendrils of darkness stuck deep within my mind and partially encircling my very soul that I felt I would have to live with for the rest of my life were no longer as real as they were, some even disintegrating and burning away into fine ash to disperse into the infinite expanses of the river of souls.
What's more, throughout the entire day I had not even once thought about the insanity that I had been so close to plunging into. Whereas before it was always there – always impossible to forget, just like the missing tailfin that had brought it about; now it was nearly unnoticeable – requiring me to actually think about it to be able to feel the imperceptible itch of it upon my mind.
Considering that I had nearly forgotten about it, I did not feel it at all.
.
.
Hiccup stood still in a daze, his hand cradled against his chest – not in a protective gesture, but instead to try and preserve that indescribable feeling that had passed through him for the brief but nigh infinite moment when the Nightfury reached down and allowed him to touch it. No matter how he tried to hide it, when he had lowered his head and reached out, he felt a stab of fear that he would not be getting his arm back (or at least not in one piece). When they touched though, all of his fear was gone as if it had never been – gone and replaced by a feeling of safety and belonging. It felt like he had been frozen in ice for his entire life and only when the waters around him thawed did he notice just how close he had been to freezing.
Subconsciously he noticed that the Nightfury had flown back to its nest, but it really did not matter. There was nothing more for them to say between each other. Turning around Hiccup proceeded back to the entranceway where he picked up the empty basked and hoisted up the shield before grabbing at the tree roots and beginning his climb out of the cove. Even when he passed into the dried up overflow cut into the side of the wall, Hiccup did not glance back.
There was no need after all – both of them knew he would be back, and it really felt to him that if he caught a glance of the Nightfury right now, he would not be able to leave.
.
.
As the two of them walked off along their own paths away from the cut up floor, neither of them noticed how the image that Nightwing had so meticulously drawn into the ground had changed – looking almost like two spheres, one over the other. Two spheres that were so different, and yet at the same time, so alike.
The cascades of rain that night washed relentlessly over the memories carved into the grass, washing away more and more details until all that was left were some deep trenches that could not be easily covered up – deep trenches that no longer represented anything, for anything that could be seen within them had been destroyed.
The magic was gone, the beauty erased – the memory no more than a series of random lines.
Physical memories are always like that – lasting some time, but easily washed away, with none of them ever lasting for even a single fraction of forever. Not only physical memories really – all memories degraded with time until they stopped being memories at all.
And yet, it did not matter that the memory drawn on the ground was destroyed – after all, the experience that had spawned this memory was there, and there was nothing that could destroy that. One after the other, the ripples caused by the events that have transpired to spawn the now destroyed memory widened, catching others and causing them to form more ripples – for that is the way the world works.
Who knows what would have happened if a different choice was made on that day – perhaps there would have been no change… Or perhaps everything would be unrecognizably different. But all of that does not matter, for a single choice was made, and the path decided upon.
Although she could not see any of this, she could still feel the path settling down within the pattern of her soul.
Just a bit longer – and everything would be over. She thought with a pang of sadness;
But that's what you wanted, wasn't it? – To end it all – To rest… - To die. - … Her other selves replied.
She smiled and the sadness turned to amusement.
Perhaps, or perhaps not.
It didn't matter in any case – after all, they were all paper figures to her…
As real as the wind she had last felt across her barred soul countless Cycles ago…
As real as the world around her.
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A/N
Yes, I had planned to make this all one chapter. Its size forced me to think long and hard about dividing it into two (probably around the episode with the shield, as there is a several hour long break between that and the next part), however as I had written in my personal summary before I even came close to writing this chapter, the 'forbidden friendship' episode simply MUST be done in one go. So here you go at a whopping 9.7k (whopping for me at least, I know there are some writers out there that consider 20k+ words per chapter as completely acceptable, but I consider most of those as each chapter being more of an story/arc in and of itself) – the longest chapter yet (and possibly the longest in the story, though who can really tell. The first few as of yet unpublished chapters I had written for this story are all 1.5-2.5k words each…).
Also, any variations that you find were done to simply make the story flow better. I thought about keeping this section exactly the same as in the movie (because let's face it – this scene in the movie was done so perfectly there is no way of making it better), but considering the differences in characters and setting between the movie and my story I simply had to change it to the way you just read. Hope you agree that even if it was not as good a scene as in the movie, I have done a good job of placing its spirit into the confines of my story.
As for the ending… I will let you think about who 'she' is.
Incidentally this marks the end of part 1 of the story (or part 1 of the 1st cycle really) which comes in at roughly 100k words (quite a lot considering that my original plan was to finish the story in 75k words. I never expected to enlarge it into something of epic proportions). The next chapter will be a somewhat short interlude before we continue onwards to part 2 of the 1st cycle (out of a grand total of 3). Then and only then will the second cycle begin which will be two parts in and of itself. The third cycle following that will be all 1 part, and is (funnily enough) the actual story that I had come up with when I first started writing. So if you really think about it I am going to have a 200-300k word 'prologue' to the original story I wanted to write…
E – as you do not have an account, I will leave a reply for your review here: Thank you. That means a lot.
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Saienai