Chapter Ten: In The Wake
Anna was resting on her back, lying on the bed in her own quarters when Luke walked in. She paid no attention to him, though she knew that he was there. He stood in the doorway which she and left open a few inches so that he would be able to open the door without knocking. Her eyes were on the white ceiling above, not focusing on anything in particular. She was in a meditative state, and it took a lot to break her out of one wince she was lost within herself. Luke didn't make any sort of movement to try and break her out of her meditation, but just watched her still form as it lay in an ungraceful, sprawled position on the bed. The only hint that he had that she was alive was that her Force spirit was still very strong. Other than that, there seemed to be nothing else. Her hands were resting at her head, with her palms facing up toward the ceiling. Her black fingerless gloves were lying on the bedside table beside her, as well as her jacket. Her legs were bent at an angle that looked to be very comfortable, but in reality, it was everything but that. Her shoeless feet were pulled up toward her body slightly, and the way she was facing was making one side of her hipbone stick out. She was beautiful, in her own way.
Finally, the silence broke as she blinked her eyes a few times, as if she was returning back to reality. "How long are you going to stand there?" she asked, and Luke smiled.
"I didn't want to disturb you," he said.
"I felt your presence when you walked in," she said. "But my meditation wasn't broken. It takes a lot for me to get out of that kind of a state."
She still hadn't moved from her awkward-but-comfortable position on the bed, and Luke couldn't help but keep sneaking quick glances at her. At that point, he didn't have much of a care in the sense that she would catch him, because he already knew that she had a deep care for him. It was obvious in her presence in the Force that she held something stronger than friendship for him. He didn't swell on the thought for very long, as she slowly untangled herself and sat up on the bed, reaching for her gloves. "Did you need to talk to me about something?" she asked.
"Well, not really, but I wanted to tell you that the food is ready for us," he said. "Leia wanted me to tell you. She doesn't want you to starve."
"Why would she think that?" Anna asked, pulling her gloves on, a look of disbelief on her face as she looked through her eyelashes at Luke.
"Something about being healthy for when you go back to complete your training," he said. "Honestly, I really wasn't paying much attention. She likes to ramble sometimes."
"You're telling me," Anna said, jumping off the bed and brushing off her shirt before she grabbed her leather jacket. "I thought that I was bad."
"But you've got to see where she's coming from," Luke said as she walked over to him "She's on edge right now because of Han."
"True," she said. "I don't understand it very much, since I've never met Han, but that's probably why I wouldn't be much help on this mission."
"You'll be helpful once your abilities are sharpened," Luke said. "Ready to go eat?"
Anna shook her hair out. "Yeah, I'm ready."
Luke stood aside for her to walk by him, and she did, keeping her eyes forward as she slipped through the doorway. Luke shut the door for her, and she started to walk down the hall, not really having any idea where she was going. "Where is Leia hosting the food?" she asked, turning to look back at Luke, but was taken aback when she smacked right into his chest. Quickly, she backed off, embarrassment flooding into her cheeks. "Sorry, didn't know you'd be right there," she said, averting her eyes from his gaze.
"Don't worry about it," he said. "It's at the end of this hall." Anna turned and continued to walk, still trying to let the heat out from her face. He must've sensed her embarrassment, as he reached for her arm and grabbed it, not too forcefully, but enough to make her spin around to face him. "Really Anna, just relax," he said, and she smiled. He let his fingers trail a little bit longer on her arm before he let his hand drop.
"Alright," she said, and the two of them walked in silence for a few seconds, until it was disturbed by two certain droids. Luke grinned as they both moved out of Leia's quarters, Artoo leading the way. Threepio didn't seem to realize that the two Jedi's-in-training were there, and he reacted in his usual, surprised way when he did turn around and saw them.
"Master Luke! Miss Anna!" he called out, and walked over to them briskly, with Artoo rolling along behind him, unusually silent.
"Something wrong, Threepio?" Luke asked.
"No, but Princess Leia wants to make sure the you're going down to the hall to eat," Threepio said. "Now I can tell her that you are. At least, that's what it looks like."
Luke nodded. "And Anna is coming with me," he said. "Tell Leia that too."
Threepio nodded in an awkward fashion and walked back to the door to Leia's quarters. "Come on Artoo, we have other work to do," he said to the Astromech droid as he walked by. Artoo beeped at him and turned around to follow him. Anna smiled as she watched the two droids. She felt as though she was really developing a good relationship with both of them, and even though they hadn't talked much, she found herself caring for both of them equally.
"Aren't we going to go eat?" Anna asked, seeing that Luke was still looking at the door to Leia's quarters, where the two droids had disappeared to. He blinked and looked over at her.
"Yeah, sorry," he said. "I was just thinking about something…" He trailed off, and Anna lightly reached over to touch his shoulder.
"Are you relapsing?" she asked, keeping her voice quiet.
"No, I'm not," he said, but Anna could see that he wasn't being honest with her.
"Luke, you can tell me," she said, and looked around, seeing if anyone was watching. "Look, I'm not all that hungry right now. If you need to rest for a while, I'll let you."
"No, I need to eat," he said. "It's a vital part of my recovery that I haven't been holding up yet. Afterward, would you mind teaching me how to get into that meditate state that I've been seeing you in recently? Back on Dagobah, it looked like it helped with your recovery a lot."
They both started walking again. The doorway to the entrance of the hallway was in view now, and Anna slowed her pace slightly.
"It did," she admitted. "It helped with my Force ability too, finding a good state to rest in. It's very rejuvenating."
"Well, you certainly look a lot better than you did for the past few hours," he said, and she nodded. After she had arrived on the medical frigate, her morale had been very low. Her face looked hollow and she looked even more fragile than she already was, at first glance. In reality, there was nothing fragile about her, just the intricate barriers that she put up around her mind to block out the unwanted thoughts when she was meditating.
Both of the Jedi's-in-training walked into the room, which was, for the most part, empty, with a few of the Rebel pilots sitting around a section of the long benches. They didn't pay them any attention, as they were too busy wrapped up in their own conversation, whatever that may be.
Luke directed her over to the place where she would be able to get the food by placing his fingers on her back, as he stood behind her, and angled her so that she could walk straight.
"You know," she said as she picked up a plate. "I can walk just fine on my own. It should be your own well-being that you should be worried about."
"And you know that I can't do that," he responded as she began to dish out her food. "It's a Jedi quality, being selfless like that."
"That's something that I need to work on, big time," she said, partially to herself, keeping her voice hushed.
"You don't strike me as the type of person who would be selfish," he said.
"I believe that the correct word that you're looking for is self-absorbed," she said, turning around to look at him while he dished out his food.
"No, that was the perfect word to describe Han when I met him though," he said, keeping his gaze directed at the food. "Only cared about money and his own skin."
"Sounds like he had a change of heart when he joined the Rebellion," Anna said as Luke finished dishing out and walked with her over to the opposite end of the bench where the other Rebels were sitting.
"He did, it was after we rescued Leia from the Death Star," he said. "The assault would've failed if he wouldn't have arrived." Luke paused. "I would've been killed if it wasn't for him."
"Is this why you're going after him," Anna s=asked as she began to eat. "Is it because you feel like you have a debt to repay him?"
"I guess you could say that, but that's not the whole reason. Han and I have actually bonded as friends. Maybe not as close as my friendship with Leia, but still strong nevertheless."
"I'm starting to have that friendship with Leia now too. Maybe it's because we're part of only a handful of women in the Rebellion, but she has a Force presence. I can feel it."
"And I thought that I was the only one that could feel that."
"I don't think that she knows, though."
"She doesn't, that much is true. If she did, she'd probably be training it like you are."
"I'm not sure if she would be that willing to accept it right away. After all, I was shocked to hear about it at first. It's not something that you take lightly at first."
"But you're happy that you trained."
"Of course I am."
They both ate in silence for a couple minutes, and Anna's mind trailed off to the mission that she would be embarking on soon. She hoped that she as able to get a ship like her old one that had crashed on Dagobah, as X-wing ships made her feel a little bit claustrophobic. Her old ship had been trustworthy until the crash, but it had still saved her life. The crash seemed so distant now that her near-death experience was no longer nagging at her. Still, she knew that she was in constant danger to relapse at any point in time, just as Luke was. He had lived through a much more traumatic event though, and it was still very recently. Anna looked up at the ceiling for a moment, promising that she would make sure to use her short amount of time left on the medical frigate to protect him from his own memories. Nothing was more dangerous than falling victim to you own mind, in Anna's view. The thought of having your own thoughts consume you, no matter for how long it was, was a terrifying feeling and thought, and she didn't want to have it anywhere near her. The best way to do that was to eliminate the risk in Luke.
"Are you almost done?" she asked, breaking the silence between them. "I can teach you how to meditate once you're ready."
"Just about," he answered with a smile. "We've got time right now, don't worry."