Whispers in the Dark
- Chapter Sixteen – Behind the Mask
Cory looked between her friends as they stood in the quickly clearing main room of the fashion show.
"Guys…" She finally breathed looking at them, "I know I'm the one who put the slide show together but I swear-"
"Don't." Emily cut her off, "You don't have to say anything… we know you had nothing to do with this disaster."
"Yeah, Cor. We never thought that." Aria agreed and Hanna nodded along with her friends, also not believing for a second that their friend had anything to do with it.
Cory swallowed hard and nodded in thanks as Spencer returned to her friends with her cellphone in hand and a disappointed look on her face.
"Did you talk to Mrs. D?" Cory was the first one to speak.
"No, Jason picked up her cellphone. He said she was too upset to talk." Spencer filled them in.
"If I were her I wouldn't want to talk to us either." Cory said so quietly that her friends barely heard her.
"Yeah." Emily nodded, "Just when the spotlight is on us for doing something decent…"
"A makes sure the spotlight is extra harsh." Hanna finished, before her attention was drawn over to where Caleb was lingering just inside of the door.
After speaking to him for a little while, she returned to her friends and said she was going to walk home with Caleb.
"Maybe we should just send Ali's mom a note or something." Aria offered, with a shrug.
"I don't think there's a section of 'I'm sorry you got traumatized' cards." Spencer said, but the end of her sentence was cut off but the ear piercing squeal of microphone interference flowing through the surround sound speakers.
The large screen clicked on and the group turned to see a message scrawled; My dresses. My game. My rules. –A
"Caleb's waiting on me." Hanna said excusing herself from the group as Emily said, "Can we just get out of here?"
"I'm right behind you." Spencer agreed and Aria picked her coat up from one of the chairs as she said, "Let's go."
"I need to grab my bag, I left it backstage." Cory frowned.
"Want me to wait on you?" Aria asked, but Cory could tell by the way her friend couldn't stand still she was a ball of nerves who just wanted to get out of there as fast as humanly possible.
"I'm okay." Cory declined as she said bye to her friends and started her solo walk backstage where she saw her bag sitting up on the vanity table she'd been using.
Coming to a stop she looked around, checking her surroundings for any sign of someone lurking in the shadows. She knew she'd left her bag under the table on the floor, not on top in plain sight.
Quickly she worked on shoving all of her hair and beauty supplies she'd brought with her back into her bag so she could make a quick escape.
"Did you want this back?"
Spinning around she gasped as Noel stood just in front of her with the tribute disk in his hand.
With a smirk he added, "I'd hate to leave something lying around that could get you and your friend's into trouble."
"And here I thought that was yours." She coldly replied, feeling like the normally large room was now getting claustrophobic.
"Right." He snorted, glancing down to the disk before he said, "I've already been in enough trouble because of your friends… I don't need this too. Who's idea was this? Aria's? I bet it would look bad for all of you if this got into the wrong hands…"
"Trouble? Noel, you don't even know what being in trouble is. You screw up; mommy and daddy write a check and it all goes away. I'm guessing it wasn't a coincidence that a new computer lab showed up right around the time you came back from suspension." Cory shot back at him, her tone strong.
His eyebrows raised in amusement as he questioned, "Are you threatening me?"
"Just give me the disk." She demanded, holding out her hand. The last thing any of them needed was for him to hand that disk over to someone and say it was her's and her friend's faults.
"You're joking, right? No, I'm betting you all think it was really cute planting those test answers in my locker… now I've finally got something on you."
Her jaw tensed, it wasn't any of her friend's who'd done that –it was A. but she couldn't tell him that, and even if she did he wouldn't believe her.
"Give me that disk or I'll-"
"You'll what?" He asked, holding it in sight but just out of her reach.
She lowered her head for a moment, her eyes stopping on the elegant dress she was still wearing, before she looked back up at him looking more confident than she did before as she quietly said, "Don't forget who my best friend was, everyone has secrets and I know some things about you that your families bank account wouldn't even begin to cover up."
"Careful Cory." He spoke loudly over the end of her sentence, "Alison liked to hold things over people's heads and we all know how she ended up."
Cory opened her mouth to say something, but before she could Jason made his presence known in the room as he walked up beside her and faced Noel asking, "What's that?"
"The unplanned finale of Ali's tribute." Cory admitted.
Stepping forward Jason said, "Hand it over."
Clearly not happy about how the situation had played out, Noel handed the disk to Jason without protest letting out a heavy sigh when he started to snap the tribute disk into pieces and let it fall to the floor.
Noel opened his mouth to speak, but Jason stared him down and the teenager shook his head –giving one last glance to Cory before he turned and walked away leaving the pair alone.
Turning to face her Jason asked, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm…" Her voice trailed off and she sighed, "Honestly, I don't know right now."
With a weak smile she admitted, "About the only thing I do know is that Hanna was going to sneak behind the bar and steal a bottle earlier… and about right now, I'm really wishing she'd succeeded."
Her sentence ended with relieved breath at being able to be honest with him. If she'd made a comment like that in front of anyone else; even her friends would have looked at her through slightly judgmental eyes wondering if one drink would start a landslide.
But with him she didn't have to worry about being judged and that was one of the best feelings in the world.
Before he could say anything back, she gathered her folded up clothes from the chair and said, "I need to change."
She started to walk towards the changing stalls then stopped as she turned around and opened her mouth, but he smiled knowing what she was going to ask as he assured her, "I'll wait for you."
It wasn't until she was back in her jean shorts and one shoulder black shirt that she finally started to feel like herself again. After gathering the rest of her belongings she walked outside to find Jason sitting in one of the chairs not too far away from the bar.
Setting her stuff down on a table behind him she finished zipping the garment bag up over the dress and said, "I doubt your mom wants this back…"
Standing up, he walked over to her and saw what she was talking about.
Shaking his head he said, "No, she wanted you all to keep the dresses after the show."
"Because dressing like Ali for one day wasn't weird enough." She sighed, then looked up to him and apologized, "I'm sorry…"
"It's okay. You're right… this whole day was weird. It felt like Ali was everywhere and nowhere all at once." He confided, already wanting to erase the events from his memory but he didn't think it was even possible.
Her gaze drifted over to the bar and she swallowed hard. "How many times do we have put her away? It's like having to bury my best friend all over again. I mean every time I… any of us, starts to make peace with it someone goes and says something terrible about her death… or her life."
Looking down to the floor for a moment, Jason stepped closer blocking her view from the bar as he admitted, "Well, if I was a stranger, I'd be fascinated with the dark details."
"That's all of us, isn't it? Her brother… her friends, we're the dark details." She breathed.
"I think we always will be." He nodded.
"Can I ask you something?" She questioned, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as he nodded for her go ahead and ask him.
"Why did you move back here? To live in that house all by yourself?" she asked him, their eyes meeting as she spoke.
"I needed to try and put the pieces together, I was looking for something." He offered with a small shrug.
"But you did it… you got out of Rosewood, just like we always talked about doing someday." She softly reminded him.
"Yeah." He scoffed, "It turns out even when you leave Rosewood, this town and everything in it never really leaves you."
Cory nodded in agreement before a small gasp left her lips and she remembered, "You still don't know who wrote that note… what if it really does have something to do with the night that Ali went missing?"
"I have my answer." He asserted.
"Ian?" Cory guessed, her mind going back to the night A had revealed the rest of the video to them in the cemetery, the night it became clear that Ian wasn't the one who'd really killed Alison. "But what if-"
Not letting her finish he said, "No ifs, okay? Ian confessed."
Cory bit down on the side of her tongue, wanting to tell him she wasn't sure if it really was Ian anymore. But more than wanting to be honest she didn't want to hurt him so she stayed quiet.
"Look, everything has been such a mess lately and I need to figure out how to be happy and I'd like do that here." He explained, their eyes locking as she felt his hand find hers and he added, "And with you… as long as that's what you want too."
She wasn't able to stop the smile that spread over her lips as she admitted, "I want that too."
He smiled back at her, gently laying a hand on the side of her face before leaning down and capturing her lips in a kiss that reminded her just how much she'd missed him, missed everything about him.
She'd always felt out of place in Rosewood, a feeling he knew all too well –but somehow with one another, they didn't feel so out of place.
~(A few days later)~
After nearly an entire hour of arguing with her dad about not needing to go see a therapist, Cory was sitting on the large couch in Dr. Sullivan's office while the psychiatrist stared back at her with a warm smile.
"I'm glad you were able to make it to today's appointment…I've missed you the past few weeks." Dr. Sullivan said in a friendly tone, hoping to get the teenager to open up to her.
"Yeah, sorry about that… I wasn't feeling well." Cory lied. The only reason she'd made it to that appointment was because her dad drove her and walked her inside or else she'd have skipped the appointment to spend time with Jason or even just walk around the mall.
"Well, you're here now." She replied before asking, "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"
When Cory shrugged and absent-mindedly played with some loose unraveling fabric of her destroyed denim jeans, Dr. Sullivan said, "You were in the fashion show earlier this week, from what I hear things didn't exactly go as planned. It must have been difficult."
"Which part?" She couldn't help but scoff, "Wearing my dead best friend's dress and parading around on a stage in front of half of Rosewood with it, or the unplanned finale?"
"You seem angry."
"It was supposed to be this beautiful slideshow of her pictures and some of her favorite songs… the ending was this video that all of us had taken together at the start of freshman year. Just sort of goofing off and all, but she was happy in it. Someone completely ruined it though." She admitted, shaking her head with disdain.
"What did you do after the show?" Dr. Sullivan questioned.
"I kind of felt responsible for it all." She admitted with a heavy sigh, "So I got this really pretty card and this bouquet of flowers… I sent all of that along with the real tribute disk to Mrs. DiLaurentis."
Dr. Sullivan smiled, "That was very thoughtful of you."
The room fell silent again until the doctor adjusted in her chair and questioned, "Why don't you tell me about your friendship with Alison?"
Cory shrugged, "There's not much to say I guess, she's my best friend."
"Was."
"Right." Cory breathed, rubbing her hands over her face before tucking it behind her ear and letting out a bitter laugh, "It's been months and sometimes I still talk about Ali like she's here."
"Why do you think that is?" Dr. Sullivan asked.
"Because she is." The teenager said as she leaned back into the soft cushions of the couch and continued, "She's gone but she's still here."
"You mean in your heart?" She guessed.
"I mean in my head. When I'm shopping for clothes I can practically hear her finding the flaws in everything I buy… sometimes I'll be getting ready for school in the morning and I'll worry if she's going to make some bitchy comment about how I fixed my hair."
"From what your friends have told me, it seems you all had very… complicated relationships with Alison."
Nodding Cory let out a small laugh, "Everything was complicated with Ali."
Dr. Sullivan watched her closely. In her friend's solo sessions they'd all opened up about the ways Alison had mistreated them but when given the opportunity to talk about her late friend –Cory seemed content with just saying they were best friends and not getting into it further.
"You still feel very loyal to her, don't you?"
Swallowing hard, Cory looked around the office her eyes scanning over some books on a decorative shelf and diplomas on the wall but she didn't care enough to try and read the titles.
"You had to be loyal to her. Ali liked to gather up everyone's dirty laundry and keep it tucked it away until the right moment she could use it as weapon against them."
Dr. Sullivan's eyebrows lowered as she pointed out, "But she's no longer with us… she can't hold anything over your head."
"I know." Cory admitted, "It's just… not very many people knew her like I did. Almost everyone else only saw what she wanted them to see. How beautiful she was, how put together she was… fearless, dangerous, happy…"
Picking more at her jeans, she didn't make eye contact as she continued, "You know that saying? Something like… 'all of the world is a stage' or something like that? That's pretty much how she lived."
"But that wasn't the way you saw her? You got a glimpse behind the curtains?" Dr. Sullivan pushed, not wanting her to close back up.
"The world saw her smiling and I saw her break down behind closed doors. They saw a bully and I could see how she never really felt like she was good enough. It was an act." Cory explained, tears burning her eyes as she pulled in a deep breath and for the first time admitted, "Everyone looked at Ali and they saw perfection."
"And what did you see?" Dr. Sullivan questioned.
"A mess." Cory confessed, "The real Alison DiLaurentis was just a teenager who had to grow up too quickly and couldn't find herself along the way. She gathered everyone else's secrets because in truth, she had more than all of them put together. She wasn't perfect –she was lost… haunted."
Dr. Sullivan opened her mouth to speak, but didn't get the chance as Cory continued to finally open up to her.
"I know because I was lost too and in all honesty probably a bigger mess than her. I always wondered why Alison let me see more of who she really was than anyone else, I think it was because I was just as unhappy as she was." Cory said as she looked up at Dr. Sullivan with slightly watery eyes.
"We both hated Rosewood. I hated it because I never really fit in here, and Ali wanted more. She wanted New York or Paris… someplace big where she could reinvent herself far away from here and leave everyone –including Alison DiLaurentis behind." Cory explained. They'd talked about running away from Rosewood so many times and picking up new identities as they went.
"Is that why you were so sure she ran away when she went missing?"
Cory's gaze snapped from the expensive coffee table up to Dr. Sullivan who quickly explained, "I saw the report you gave police in your initial interview, you told them Alison ran away."
"I was so mad at her too. I thought she'd finally done it, finally had a scheme and left Rosewood behind… only her plan apparently didn't involve me like the times we'd talked about moving away after high school or even running away before then." Cory remembered, but her gaze quickly fell down to her lap.
Noticing her change in behavior Dr. Sullivan asked, "What just happened there… what did you think about?"
"I don't know… I guess just that she's still so much a part of my life that it doesn't feel like she's dead. It's stupid, but I'm still just expecting Ali to show up at my door one day with some glowing tan and stories about all the places she'd visited. It's really hard to accept that she's really gone, that I'll never see her again."
"Losing someone you're close to is never easy at any age, but you lost your best friend at such a young age and while that may be hard to accept… you do need to deal with it, for your own sake." She told the teenager as she watched her body language closely, it seemed to her like Cory wasn't willing to accept that Allison was really gone.
Looking up to the clock on the wall Cory tossed a smile at her therapist as she said with a relieved sigh, "Looks like we're done for today." Standing up she smoothed her shirt down and picked up her bag when Dr. Sullivan reminded her to schedule her next appointment at the desk before leaving.
She politely nodded and said she would, but once she was out in the waiting room she made a beeline for the exit, determined to not go back for another session. It was hard enough dealing with the loss of Alison; she didn't see how talking to someone about her dead friend was going to help anything –it wasn't going to bring her back.
A/N - I owe a huge thank you to xxXWolfsLullabyXxx, xxxRena, Lucy Greenhill, SmellYourScentForMiles, Heartless-Princess33, RHatch89, Nirvana14, Momsen-xxxx, Lends, BloomingBlueMoon85, DancingDorisDay, LittleLiar98, and Erin for reading and reviewing the last chapter.
I'd also like to thank everyone who has add this story to their favorites and/or subscribed for update alerts. ^_^ Thank you all so much for the suporrt.