Author's Notes: Today—September 28, 2005—is the one-year anniversary of the day Freyja and I first got the idea for this fic. This chapter deals with one of the first things we ever got the idea for—the "Ranger parade." Where did we get the creative inspiration for this? …I have no idea. Hope y'all like it.
Chapter Ten
Mr. Billy's Wild Ride
"What's with all the chatter?" Zack demanded, dropping down onto the blanket next to Trini. Jason, Kimberly and Conner followed him. "You two plotting my demise?" Zack added, sounding a bit more serious than he'd intended.
"No more than usual," Trini said casually, grinning teasingly at him.
"Trini," Kimberly said sharply, giving her a penetrating look.
Trini looked up at her, and Kimberly's eyes flicked almost imperceptibly towards Tommy before returning to Trini's, her question obvious. Trini shook her head slightly. "I didn't do it," she said in a joking tone, making it sound like they were simply sharing some unknown inside joke.
"Okay, then," Kimberly said, looking relieved.
"What?" Jason asked suspiciously, looking from Kimberly to Tommy to Trini in askance, having spotted Kimberly's glance at Tommy.
"Guys!" Billy called, coming out of the water with Ethan. "Are you coming in?"
"Soon," Jason said absently, staring suspiciously at his wife.
"I'll wait," Billy said, sitting down beside Tommy but looking out covetously at the water.
Kira and Trent wandered over just then and plopped down with the others. "Hey, can I ask you guys something?" Trent asked.
"What?" several people replied.
"What's this Ranger's Parade we keep hearing about?"
"Yeah," Conner added. "Was it a part of Power Rangers Day?"
"No," Kimberly said, smiling slightly. "It was… well, it was a really strange day gone bad."
"Like last night?" Kira asked.
"Er… no," Tommy said, sighing heavily. "It was a whole lot worse."
"What was so bad about last night?" Billy inquired, but Jason, who had started laughing at Tommy's comment, didn't hear him and interrupted before anyone could give an excuse not to explain.
"One little mob just spoiled your day, didn't it?" Jason teased Tommy.
"Shut up," Tommy retorted.
"So what happened?" Trent pressed.
"Well," Jason said slowly, "it all started with Billy."
"It all started with Goldar," Billy argued, obviously picking up a previous fight. The others ignored him.
"That's right," Zack said. "It never would have happened if Billy hadn't gotten that job at Kinko's."
Flashback
Billy smiled wearily at the elderly woman who'd been holding up the line for the last fifteen minutes with stories of her grandchildren while businessmen and women huffed impatiently behind her. "Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, relieved when she hobbled out the door, leaving him to deal with a long line of angry people whose reports were going to be late.
The door bells chimed, and Billy turned as was mandatory, planning to greet the new customer before returning to the line. However, all thoughts of the line disappeared at the sight of the newest "customer."
Goldar stood in the doorway, looking freakish and frightening with his dark blue skin and gold armor. Everyone gasped, staring in shock, waiting for the monster to make the first move.
Goldar looked around uncertainly and held up a small, flat silver disk. "I need to use the copy machine."
Well, there was only one thing anyone could say to that.
"AHHHHHHH! RUN!"
There was a stampede for the other door, the one Goldar wasn't standing in front of. Billy dropped to his knees, praying Goldar hadn't seen him, as Billy's manager hit the deck as well and all of the customers ran faster than Road Runner. Billy crawled around the corner behind the L-shaped counter, desperate to contact the rest of the gang without compromising his secret identity. Goldar was pretty tough, tough enough to have nearly killed Jason when fighting one-on-one; Billy would fight if he had to, but he doubted he could take on Goldar alone. The moment he was out of sight of his cowering manager, he hit the send button on his communicator.
Back at the Youth Center, Zack was regaling Angela with a very funny story (she was, of course, feigning boredom, which was something she often did with his most interesting stories) when he heard his communicator chime.
"Your watch is beeping," Angela said, pretending to look relieved. She had taken to looking relieved every time it went off, which was a tactic she'd adopted shortly after they'd gotten into a fight about how he had to run off every time it beeped (which was freakishly often).
"Oh, yeah… I have… a gynecologist appointment," Zack lied, rushing from the room. The moment he was out of sight, he lifted his communicator to his mouth. "Zordon?"
"Billy, actually."
"Billy?"
"Yes. Tommy? Kim? Jason? Trini? You there?"
Over in Angel Grove Park, Tommy and Kimberly halted their make-out session on a pink-and-white-checkered picnic blanket and stared at their communicators in dismay. "Remind me why we brought these again?" Kimberly asked grumpily as Tommy activated his.
"Tommy here."
"And Kimberly."
"What is it, Zordon?" Jason's voice asked through the communicator. He sounded very winded and tired, perhaps annoyed.
"Billy's the one who called us, actually," Zack said.
"Billy?" Kimberly repeated in confusion. "What's wrong?"
"Goldar just showed up."
"What? Where?" Tommy demanded, standing up. Kimberly sighed and got to her feet as well. Goldar usually showed up after or with a group of Putties, and his arrival always seemed to herald some major catastrophe.
"At the Kinko's I'm working at."
"Why's he there?" Zack asked.
Good question, Billy thought, and carefully peered over the countertop. He expected to see Goldar tearing the place apart… but Goldar was simply standing by the copy machine, staring at it as if trying to figure out how it worked.
"He… uh… appears to be attempting to utilize the copier."
"Um… he what?" Zack said blankly.
"He's trying to use the copier," Billy repeated.
"That makes no sense," Jason said.
"Why would he do that?" Trini asked at the same time.
The others paused. Both Jason and Trini sounded short of breath, and they hadn't heard Trini come online, which meant she was using someone else's communicator. They were designed so that only one person could talk into them at any time, like walkie-talkies, so they had to be sharing a communicator.
"Jason? Trini? Are you guys at the same place?" Tommy asked suspiciously.
"Uh… yeah," Jason said a little guiltily.
"Did you guys just work out or something? You sound beat," Zack said.
"Yes! Yes… we uh… we were working out. Yep," Trini said.
"Can we get back to more important matters?" Jason demanded quickly, sounding downright panicky.
"He's still trying to use the copier," Billy reported, still spying over the counter. Goldar had discovered Billy's manager's hiding spot and was now forcing the manager to make the copy. "Paul is copying something for him."
"Copying what?" Kimberly wondered, frowning. It seemed rather insignificant to her.
Billy started to say something, but just then Goldar started shouting, drowning Billy out. "I thought this was a copy machine! All it's doing is drawing the medallion on paper! What good is that?"
"Please don't hurt me!" the manager whimpered.
"I'll try and stall him," Billy hissed into his communicator. "Hurry, guys."
Billy turned off his communicator and grabbed his morpher. "It's morphin' time," he whispered. "Triceratops!"
A moment later, Billy leaped out from behind the counter. "All right, Goldar!" he yelled, striking a tough-guy pose.
"Ack!" his manager shrieked. Startled, Paul whirled around, nearly wetting himself from shock. His eyes fell on Billy. "The Blue Ranger!" he breathed, relieved.
"I'm gonna take you down, you—where'd he go?" Billy demanded, disappointed.
"That way!" the manager said quickly, pointing at the door.
"Thanks, Paul," Billy said absently, rushing off.
"He knows my name!" the manager whispered in awe, staring after him.
The door flew open and suddenly Goldar rushed back in. "Almost forgot," he growled as the manager screamed in terror. Goldar ignored him, marching over to the copy machine and lifting the lid to retrieve his medallion before leaving again.
Billy rushed outside. The street was in total chaos; everyone was running and screaming. He scanned the crowd for Goldar but saw nothing.
"Where'd he go?" Billy wondered just as something slammed into him from behind. He stumbled and turned; Goldar had somehow gotten behind him and in between him and the door to Kinko's.
"You!" Goldar snarled.
"Prepare to be… beat up!" Billy exclaimed, unused to throwing out insults; most of the time the others yelled that sort of stuff, and most of the time the others were beside him.
"I don't have time for this right now," Goldar replied, and, to Billy's complete surprise, he turned and ran.
"Come back here!" Billy shouted, giving chase.
Goldar saw him following and darted down the driveway between Kinko's and the Burger King next door. Billy followed, ordering him to stop, pumping his arms for speed. Goldar turned the corner, trying to ditch Billy, ran along the parking lot, turned up the driveway in between Kinko's and Blockbuster and then pelted along the sidewalk in front of the store. There he paused, waiting to see if Billy was still behind him; Billy skidded around the corner a moment later.
"Grr, that's it!" Goldar shouted, realizing he'd have to fight. He charged at Billy.
"AHH!" Billy yelped, racing back around the building a few times before remembering quite suddenly that he was the good guy, and as such he was supposed to do the pursuing, not the running.
"Stand and fight!" Billy yelled, running back at Goldar.
Goldar took off, once again trying to escape.
Meanwhile, Zack was running up the street, dodging panicky pedestrians as he ran towards Kinko's, already morphed. Two buildings from Kinko's, he found a crowd of people who were blocking the sidewalk and half the street, watching the most recent Ranger event. Giving a frustrated growl, he leaped up onto the roof of a nearby Blockbuster and hopped onto the Kinko's roof, scanning the ground for Billy.
It took him a moment to figure out that Billy was chasing Goldar valiantly around and around Kinko's. Just as he prepared to jump down to help, Goldar changed direction, waving his arms over his head and screaming as he hurtled at Billy, who spun and ran off, only to let out a battle cry and turn the tables on Goldar a few seconds later. This continued for quite a while.
Zack couldn't help it; he burst out laughing. First Billy would chase Goldar and yell like a Roman gladiator, then he'd start yelling in fright as Goldar came after him with a boogeyman sort of shriek. Zack roared with laughter and the crowd below watched with interest.
Goldar finally realized during one of the moments that Billy was chasing him that Goldar had a mission and therefore better things to do than endlessly circle a Kinko's. When he reached the sidewalk again, he turned right instead of left and ran off past the Burger King. He glanced over his shoulder; Billy came around the corner and kept circling the building, apparently thinking Goldar was just really far ahead.
"Ha!" Goldar yelled triumphantly, only to give a cry of pain a few seconds later as he bounced off something large that was talking about Whoppers and fries.
"Skull! It's one of Rita Repulsa's minions!"
"Let's get him!"
Goldar looked up just in time to see Bulk and Skull lunging at him as he lay sprawled on the sidewalk. Startled, Goldar teleported away.
Billy, meanwhile, had realized he'd lost Goldar. The monster was just too fast, and the gang was still nowhere in sight. Billy stopped, thinking hard. He couldn't let Goldar get away; who knew what Goldar might do and who he might hurt? There was only one way he was ever going to catch Goldar.
"Triceratops Unicorn Thunderzord Power!"
A few moments later, his zord had arrived. Billy leaped in his cockpit and took off.
Unfortunately, he was completely unused to piloting his zord in a tight circle around a building. On the first turn, he knocked a huge crack in the Blockbuster wall with the back of the zord; on the second, he nearly hit a Burger King drive-thru customer.
Jason and Trini, also morphed, arrived just then, hopping onto the Kinko's roof, having been forced to take to the roofs after the crowd got too thick. They found Zack laughing hysterically; he was flat on the roof, clutching his stomach.
"Zack… what…?"
"Jason, look!" Trini pointed at the Unicorn Thunderzord below.
"He's called his zord; we better get ours."
"Um… yeah. But… where's Goldar?"
Jason frowned, searching the area but seeing absolutely no sign of Goldar and his armor. "Uh, good question. Zack, stop laughing! Zack!"
"I don't like this," Trini muttered. "Where's Kim? And Tommy?"
Jason hit his communicator's button. "Tommy? Kimberly?"
"We're on our way, Jase!" Tommy replied.
"Yeah. We got… uh… held up."
"In other words, they were making out," Jason said in disgust.
Trini gave him as pointed a look as she could with her helmet on. "Um… for which we should probably forgive them, all things considered. Now let's get in there and help Billy. Tyrannosaurus Red Dragon Thunderzord Power!"
"Saber-toothed Tiger Griffin Thunderzord Power!"
"Zack, get up! Billy needs us!"
"Mastodon… haha… Lion… hahahahaha!… Thunder—ha!—zord… haha… P-power! Mwahahaha!"
The three of them mounted their zords, Jason converting his to battle mode, as he wouldn't be able to fit between the buildings while flying without risking a crash and he had no desire to take out a Burger King.
"Zack! Why aren't you moving?"
"S-sorry," Zack choked out, still laughing hard. Trini tried to slip past him, but she had to go slow to avoid him and scraped along the side of him.
"Look out!" Jason called down, jumping over them as gently as he could and continuing after Billy.
"Good to see you, guys!" Billy called, then screeched to a halt as Goldar appeared in front of him. "Ha! I've got—argh!"
Goldar ran right at him. Billy, fearing Goldar would leap into the cockpit where there would be no room for a fight, threw the zord into reverse and nearly crashed into Jason.
"Are you crazy?" Jason demanded, jumping forward over Billy and landing in the street, just barely able to keep his footing. By the time he turned around, Billy had swung the zord about until it was facing the right way and gone all the way behind Kinko's and towards the parking lot.
"He's back here! Help!" Billy shouted.
"Where?" Jason asked, having missed seeing Goldar in his haste to avoid being tripped by the Unicorn.
"Here! Trini, Zack, get out of the way!"
"Zack! Quit it!"
Zack was attempting to drive, but he was laughing so hard that he kept jerking about erratically and crashing into Trini's zord, who was trying and failing to get around him. At last, they'd made it to the parking lot in the back, where they had room to maneuver, and Billy zipped past them.
Trini whipped her head around to look. "Billy, where—"
"He's after me!"
Trini frowned. That made no sense; Goldar was no match for a zord.
Suddenly the Red Dragon Thunderzord stomped into the parking lot and turned to go up the other driveway after Billy. "Jason, why are you chasing Billy?" Trini demanded as Zack smashed into her again.
"I'm not! I'm trying to help him!"
"ZACK!" Trini roared as he hit her again. In a rage she spun her zord at him and charged.
"AHH!" Zack screamed, then promptly went back to laughing. Still furious, Trini slammed into him again.
"Okay… what the hell are you guys doing?" came Kimberly's voice. They all glanced up to find her on the Kinko's roof with Tommy.
"Billy claims Goldar's after him," Jason said shortly, beginning to doubt Goldar's presence as he tried to carefully follow Billy. Unbeknownst to him, Goldar had retreated once more, and was now watching safely from the moon.
Kimberly and Tommy looked at each other and shrugged. "Pterodactyl Firebird Thunderzord Power!"
"White Tiger Thunderzord Power, now!"
"We're right behind you!" Kimberly yelled.
"Where is Goldar, anyway?" Tommy asked after converting to Warrior Mode.
"In Billy's head," Jason muttered darkly.
"What?"
"Should we go Megazord?" Kimberly asked.
"DIE, ZACK!"
"Trini! Stop!"
"Uh… maybe later," Tommy said, frowning at the sight of Trini and Zack's vicious bumper-car-like fight.
Kimberly swooped around Jason, attempting to spot Goldar. "I don't see Goldar, Billy," she said.
"He's right behind me!" Billy turned his head to look, only to find that Goldar had teleported away again.
"I don't see him," Kimberly repeated.
"I'll scope out the back," Tommy said, pausing in the parking lot, figuring that if the lot of them were going to keep circling, Goldar would eventually run right into him.
"Billy, I swear, if this is just a… a hallucination…" Jason let the threat hang.
"It is not! He must have gotten ahead of me." Billy increased his speed to an almost dangerous level, given the tight turns he kept having to make.
"Trini! I'm sorry!"
"I'll teach you, you idiot!"
"ARGH!"
"LOOK OUT!" Tommy shouted.
Zack, in an attempt to get away from Trini, had driven into the area between Burger King and Kinko's, Trini ramming him all the while. Neither of them noticed that Billy and the other zords were headed right for them.
"Zack, watch out!" Billy yelled, throwing his zord into reverse again.
Big mistake.
The Unicorn smashed into the foot of the Red Dragon, tripping it. Kimberly banked a hard left, trying to get out from under the Red Dragon as it fell forward, but was too low and was forced to turn back to the right or risk leveling Burger King. Jason and Kimberly screamed as the Firebird collided with the Red Dragon and they fell down toward the Unicorn, Lion, and Griffin.
"ABANDON SHIP!" someone shouted.
Trini, Zack and Jason leaped out of their zords, but Kimberly was smashed under the Red Dragon's chest and Billy's cockpit was nearly crushed under its leg.
The noise was deafening. The ground seemed to shake as the Red Dragon fell, and then there was complete and utter silence. Not one of the onlookers moved.
"Zordon's gonna be maaaaad," Zack whispered after a long pause.
"This is all your fault!" Trini yelled at him, picking herself up off the Burger King roof where she and Zack had landed and rounding on him.
"KIM!" Tommy roared suddenly, making them all jump. He leaped out of his zord and practically flew towards the wreck, scrambling onto Billy's zord (startling poor Billy, who was relatively unharmed within the cockpit, half to death) and heading for the Firebird.
"I'm okay!" Kimberly called. "I'm stuck, but I'm okay!"
"Calm down, Romeo," Zack said, shaking his head.
"How, exactly, are we going to fix this?" Trini moaned, preparing to jump down and help, but a little boy's voice—the only person other than the Rangers who had spoken yet—interrupted by shouting, "Look, Mommy! The Red Ranger's okay!"
Several onlookers gasped. Trini, Zack, and Tommy looked around and spotted Jason, standing on top of the K in the Kinko's sign, his hands on his hips in a very classic superhero pose, his face turned in their direction. Even with his helmet on, there was no questioning the fact that he had a murderous look on his face.
"Uh… Jason," Trini said sweetly, "now is the time to fix this and get out of here. There's gotta be a hundred people watching us."
"Fix this? Fix this! How are we going to fix this?" Jason shouted.
"Um…"
"I'm open for suggestions," Zack said with a shrug.
"Perhaps the White Tigerzord could be strong enough to remove the Red Dragon," Billy suggested.
"Hey! I actually understood that," Zack said in surprise.
Tommy rushed off; he was close to having a fit about his trapped girlfriend. A few minutes later, Tommy's zord was lifting Jason's (though not without a good deal of effort. "Are you all right, Beautiful?" Tommy asked anxiously.
"I'm fine, Tommy," Kimberly repeated in exasperation, sliding out of her badly dented zord.
"Jason, get back in," Tommy said, carefully setting the zord on its feet and holding it steady, just in case. He was itching to go to Kimberly. "It seems like it can stand up just fine."
"Can someone come pry my door open?" Billy asked with a sigh.
"I'm on it," Trini said, hopping down from the roof and pulling out one of her Power Daggers, which she used like a crowbar to jimmy Billy's door open.
"Thanks," Billy said, climbing outside gratefully.
"This place looks wrecked," Jason groaned from inside his cockpit. "Everything's fried."
"Can you walk?" Tommy asked.
Jason lifted up a foot and the zord promptly toppled over. The Red Dragon Thunderzord landed with its butt in a dumpster, much like a nerd shoved into a trashcan by bullies; everyone winced at the scream of metal bending before the zord settled and the dumpster held with the zord's legs and torso stuck straight up into the air. It was folded almost in half, but it still reached higher than the Kinko's roof.
"On second thought, maybe you shouldn't try moving," Tommy suggested, cringing.
Jason's zord's head turned to look at the White Tigerzord with what was unmistakably a glare.
Zack snorted, obviously finding it funny. "If you laugh one more time, I'm going to throw my Power Daggers at you!" Trini shouted at him. Zack promptly shut up.
"Hey, I've got an idea!" Tommy exclaimed. "Megatigerzord transformation, now!"
Rather than combining as usual, none of the zords moved save Billy's, which gave a feeble lurch before sitting still.
"Okay, never mind," Tommy said with a sigh.
"Um… Initiate Thunder Megazord sequence now?" Jason asked hopefully. Again, the Unicorn twitched, but that was about it.
"Now what?" Trini asked wearily.
"We can't just stay here," Kimberly said worriedly, looking at the crowd. "But we can't just leave our zords, either."
"I kind of want to," Zack said. "I'm not looking forward to facing Zordon."
"Especially since this was your fault," Trini said dryly. "But I don't want to make him mad, either."
"What do you suggest? We have them towed to a mechanic?" Kimberly asked. "We try and fix them up ourselves in Billy's garage?"
"Calm down, guys. We don't even know if we can move them. Everybody hop in and see if anything works," Tommy said.
Kimberly, Trini and Billy got back in with difficulty. The Unicorn and Griffin would drive, but that was it. The Lion had been under the Firebird, and between its weight and the Red Dragon's, the cockpit too smashed to enter. Nothing at all responded on the Firebird; Kimberly could barely get back inside, and the control panel was almost totally crushed.
"We're so screwed," Kimberly moaned as she crawled back out again, watching the onlookers warily. No one had gotten up the guts to approach them, but people were crowding all around at a respectful distance, chattering loudly now.
"Any ideas?" Jason asked, still inside his zord.
"I've got a really crazy one," Billy said quietly.
"Does it involve hallucinating another of Rita's monsters?" Jason said sulkily.
"I wasn't hallucinating! And no, it doesn't. It just might work… but no one's going to like it."
End Flashback
"And that's how it started," Zack finished with relish. He was the only one of the six Rangers who'd been there who enjoyed telling the story. Sure, Trini had nearly killed him several times that day, but the others had fared far worse.
"Wow," Trent gasped through his laughter.
"I'll never forget that day," Kimberly muttered.
"Me either," Jason, Tommy, Billy, and Trini echoed.
"Yeah," Zack said. "It was the first time I suspected Jason and Trini were together."
"Ha, ha," Jason said, chucking the Frisbee at him.
"You guys kept it a secret?" Kira asked Trini.
"For a while. At first, we just couldn't find the time to tell them," Trini replied. "Between monster attacks and school and all the martial arts classes and so on, it was difficult to get the gang all together. By the time we finally did, we were having fun with the secret. All six of us were so close that it was kind of cool to have something that was just ours, you know?"
"And then it became, 'oh, god, the guys are going to kill us when they find out we've been keeping it from them,'" Jason finished.
"But the 'parade…' that was the day that kind of solidified the suspicions for me," Tommy said.
"Yeah, right," Jason said derisively. "You were completely oblivious until the day I got married."
"Hey, I was not," Tommy protested.
"Yeah—he was only oblivious until you asked him to be the best man, remember?" Zack reminded Jason. "He was all excited about getting to plan the bachelor party."
"Shut up," Tommy growled.
"Yeah," Jason teased. "Not in front of the children, Zack."
"I would ask," Trini muttered, "but I think that's best left alone."
"Especially given what happened at the bachelorette party," Kimberly said reminiscently, smiling. Jason and Trini had both had their parties about a week before the wedding. Kimberly had been able to attend Trini's, before heading of to France for what she'd hoped would be a few days (that of course became a very long time; the passport thing had been really difficult to sort out) to visit family; her stepfather had fallen ill. Kimberly had insisted that Trini not reschedule the wedding to wait for Kimberly, mostly because a lot of the already-paid-for things were non-refundable, like the honeymoon plane tickets and the reception hall.
Kimberly allowed herself to get lost in the memories for the moment until realizing that Jason was staring at her. "What bachelorette party?" he demanded.
"Honey, she's confused," Trini said a little too quickly. "I didn't have one, remember?"
"Oh, that must have been someone else I'm thinking of," Kimberly said, wide-eyed. "That's right. You and I just looked over the wedding floral arrangements… or the China pattern… or some other such thing. Um, right?" She looked at Trini for help, no longer able to remember the excuse they'd given Jason.
"That's what she said you two were doing during my party," Jason said suspiciously. "Trini said she was just going to be hanging around the house."
"And that's what we were doing," Trini said defensively.
Wildly, Kimberly tried to change the subject. Zack looked entertained by it. Billy had that look on his face that meant he was filing away information for later. Trini was glaring at her. Panicking slightly, Kimberly turned to Tommy. "I kept insisting Jason and Trini were together back then, remember?" Kimberly asked him. "You wouldn't believe me at first."
Tommy nodded. "I thought you were imagining it," he said hurriedly, trying to stave off a Jason/Trini argument. He'd always been suspicious of what Trini was really doing during Jason's bachelor party, but due to the knowledge that Kimberly would be with Trini he hadn't asked too many questions; he had also been a lot more concerned with Jason's party, since he was actually going to be attending it.
"So… you two used to go out?" Trent inquired of Tommy and Kimberly, looking rather queasy at the thought of Dr. O having a social life, as did Conner, Ethan, and especially Kira. Conner, Ethan and Trent had been very wide-eyed since the moment one of the older ex-Rangers had mentioned that Tommy and Kimberly had been together when Billy had alerted them to Goldar's presence. However, realization suddenly seemed to dawn on Conner.
"So that's why you glared at me yesterday when I—"
Tommy looked straight at him with a frightening glare so reminiscent of the one from the picnic that Conner instantly changed direction.
"—when I promised that I wouldn't ever mention what you glared at me for," he finished lamely.
"What's with the sudden Terminator look, Dr. O?" Ethan asked curiously.
"Nothing," he replied calmly, the spookiness evaporating into a cheerful smile.
"Nothing at all," Conner added, nodding vigorously.
Trent shook his head, deciding to move on, as everyone was now exchanging funny looks or else staring at Tommy in confusion, save Jason, who was still looking at Trini through narrowed eyes. "So… you two were a couple?" Trent asked.
"For a few years, yeah," Kimberly said lightly.
"Yep," Tommy said. Both of them looked away, and an awkward pause ensued.
Kira cleared her throat; knowing that their relationship wasn't a good topic, she decided to change the subject. "What happened to your zords?" Kira asked quickly.
"Well, they had to be fixed," Tommy said, seizing hold of the new conversation quickly. "And Billy had figured out how to get them to the Command Center."
"Problem was, no one was too anxious to go to the Command Center," Billy said.
"Yeah. Zordon hadn't communicated all through the… um… event, so we figured there was a good chance he didn't know," Jason added, finally turning away from Trini.
"And we wanted to keep it that way," Kimberly said with a smile.
"Why?" Ethan asked. "Wasn't Zordon like a father to you guys?"
"Think about it," Trini said. "If you'd just crashed five of your father's very expensive cars—never mind the fact that these were zords that were very important in defending the entire city—would you want to face him?"
Flashback
"This has got to be the most unbelievable thing we've ever done."
"Chill, man, this is hysterical. Think of all those bystanders on the street, staring up at us and wondering just what the hell is going on.
"Zack, one more word out of you, and they're going to be wondering why the hell Yellow Ranger is trying to kill Black Ranger."
"…Sorry."
"I can't believe we're doing this."
"I know! And it's never going to work."
"Hey, the guy at the hardware store gave us all those chains and pulleys and things for free. Maybe the mechanic will be that nice. And if he isn't, we'll… just have to work something out."
"Guys, I orchestrated this event in order to return us safely to Zordon. Altering the parameters could produce inauspicious results."
"Uh…"
"He doesn't think this will work as well if that we're not going back to the Command Center."
"Oh!"
"Come on, Billy. It's worth a shot."
"Well, if the desired objective is not achieved, we'll have to revert to the original procedure."
"Trini?"
"If it doesn't work, we do it Billy's way."
"Ah."
"Dude, you guys are like Artoo-Detoo and See-Threepio."
"I do not believe that Trini and I are comparable to—"
"Billy, I'm tired."
"Sorry. Never mind."
"Hey, it looks like they're clearing the streets now."
"Yes, Jason, they are. Unfortunately, they're lining the sidewalks instead."
"…At least we can move a bit more freely.
"Yeah, that idiot going fifteen miles an hour finally turned."
People were, indeed, gathering on the sidewalks and pointing and whispering and laughing at them. But then, who could blame them. They made a very odd procession.
The White Tigerzord, converted back to the Tiger Mode, was stomping slowly down the streets. Chains connected it to a large blue Dumpster, in which the Red Dragon Thunderzord was sitting with the Firebird Thunderzord in its lap. The Red Dragon's legs were bent over the lip of the dumpster—and had been ever since they'd almost taken out a power cable—and Jason had done his best to get the zord to lie so that the torso and head were sticking straight back; he now took up only a little more space than a semi-truck. Behind the dumpster, side by side, were the Griffin and Unicorn Thunderzords, with the Black Ranger sitting astride the latter; they were towing the very battered Lion with chains of their own. Another chain connected the Griffin and Unicorn; something was wrong with the Unicorn's navigation system, and every so often it would try to wander off and crash into something.
"This is like a parade," Zack said cheerfully, grinning as they paused at a traffic light. He raised his arm to wave at the crowd as if he were on a float instead of Billy's zord.
"Yes, exactly like a parade," Jason said irritably, toying with the controls of his zord in a vain attempt to figure out what was wrong. "Zack? Be quiet. Before I get Trini to tear you apart."
"My poor zord," Kimberly moaned, which she had been doing periodically for quite some time now. Tommy gave her a one-armed hug; he had brought her into the Tigerzord's cockpit with him.
"Don't worry, Kim," he said. "We're going to fix this. I promise."
It was a slow day at Mike's Auto Repair, and most of the mechanics were lounging in the office, watching a football game. All of them groaned when the phone rang, annoyed at the interruption of their peaceful day. The mechanic nearest the phone reached over and answered it. "Mike's Auto."
A young man's voice filtered through the phone over a bad connection, possibly caused by a pay phone. "Hi, um… this is a… well, okay, I happen to be the leader of the Power Rangers, and there was an incident this morning in the pursuit of a monster… could I get an estimate on five Thunderzords?"
The mechanic started laughing. The Power Rangers. Yeah, right.
"Try Hillcrest," he said with a derisive snort, and hung up.
Meanwhile, at Hillcrest Collision Shop, the line was rather long. The clerk behind the counter smiled tiredly at the elderly man who'd caused a three-car pileup because of his need for new glasses and asked him to wait in the lounge. The clerk looked up at his next customer… and his jaw promptly dropped. Standing in front of him was none other than the Pink Power Ranger.
"Hi," she said in a very feminine voice, which was somewhat muffled by her helmet. "Mike's Auto said you might be able to help me—at least, we think that's what they said; they were laughing scornfully at the time…"
Before the young woman could explain any further, however, the White Ranger appeared at her side. "Um… K—I mean, Pink Ranger? The garage here wouldn't be able to fit even the smallest zord. Bi—er, Blue Ranger just got done… saying a bunch of stuff that only Yellow understood, and she translated that there's no way this place will fit our zords. We better try somewhere else."
The Pink Ranger sighed. "This is the fourth shop, T—White Ranger!" She turned back to the clerk. "Excuse me, but do you know of anyone in town with a garage big enough to hold a Red Dragon Thunderzord?"
The clerk continued to stare in shock, as did most of the customers. The door clanged open and the rest of the Power Rangers piled in. "I'm telling you, the statistical probability of finding an auto body repair shop that will not only hold but possess the capability to service our Thunderzords is phenomenally unfavorable," the Blue Ranger said, sounding rather exasperated.
The other Power Rangers turned immediately to the Yellow. "He doesn't think there's a place that can do the job," she explained, sighing.
"Hey, do you want to explain this to Zordon?" the Black Ranger said. "He may not have arms, but I still don't want to see him mad."
"Guys, there are only so many collision shops left in the phone book," said the Red Ranger, reaching into a Kinko's bag and pulling out a few sheets of yellow paper, which appeared to be photocopies of mechanic ads from the Yellow Pages. "And we've already gone to the biggest ones."
"And the crowd following us is getting dangerously large," White Ranger added. "We should probably head back."
The Pink Ranger sighed again and turned to the clerk. "Well, never mind," she said politely. "Sorry to have bothered you."
End Flashback
"You guys seriously went to mechanics trying to get your zords fixed?" Ethan asked incredulously.
"I told them it was fruitless," Billy said. "But no one would listen to me."
"Come on, Billy," Jason said. "You'd just dragged us all to Kinko's because you thought you saw Goldar."
"I told you, I wasn't hallucinating," Billy insisted.
"Right."
"Jason, give it up, man," Zack said. "The psychotic breakdown joke is old. We all saw Goldar too."
"None of us saw Goldar," Tommy argued. He, too, had been of the opinion that Billy was just overworked and had gone a little crazy.
"I assure you, he was present," Billy said stubbornly.
"Yeah, I saw him too."
Trini, Billy, Jason, Tommy and Kimberly turned to stare at Zack in disbelief. "You knew Goldar was really there and you never said anything?" Trini exclaimed.
"I thought you guys saw him too," Zack said, surprised. "You really didn't see him?"
"Of course not! I really thought Billy had lost it!" Jason said.
"We all did," Kimberly added. "None of us ever thought he was actually there."
"You mean to tell me that for the past decade, you all thought I was crazy?" Billy demanded.
"Not… crazy," Trini told him, smiling apologetically. "Just… um… mistaken."
"Why didn't you say anything?" Kimberly demanded of Zack.
"I thought it was a running joke!" Zack exclaimed. "You know, because he got away, we decided to turn it into something funny…?"
"You laughed enough that day," Trini muttered darkly.
"Yeah," Jason said with an evil grin. "Let's get back to the story, shall we? We didn't even get to the part where Trini tries to strangle Zack."
"Or the part where you and Trini traded T-shirts!" Zack shot back.
"That was hysterical!" Tommy burst out laughing.
"Not half as hysterical as when we threw you to the fans!" Trini retorted.
Jason was quick to jump in. "Remember how, when we finally rescued him, he was covered in lipstick kisses?"
Jason, Trini, Billy, Kimberly and Zack dissolved into downright hysterical laughter while Tommy glared balefully around at them all and his students waited eagerly for the story to resume. Then Tommy smiled smugly at Jason and cleared his throat.
"All right, guys," Tommy said slyly, "let me tell you a little story about Jason, his imaginary friends, and his gig as the Kinko's spokesperson."