Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any related characters
"What's up with you?" Sirius asked through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. He frowned down at his fingers, as he licked ketchup from them. He was eating his usual evening meal of bangers and mash. Since leaving Hogwarts his dinners were definitely less elaborate and he developed a love of frying sausages for every meal. Lily insisted on showing him something a tad bit more nutritious, but he was having none of it.
"Nothing is wrong."
"Why d'you look so mad then... Potato?" Sirius asked generously, pushing his bowl towards Remus, who answered the question with a grimace. He didn't want any of Sirius' potato, whether he had played with it or not. He was getting tired of Sirius' endless supply of mashed potato. "Seriously, you look rough... I didn't think the full moon was for another two weeks-"
"Ssshh!" Remus placed a finger to his lips, looking outraged. "Don't talk so loud!"
"There's no one even here, Moony."
Remus didn't respond. He had never been so jumpy about his condition before. Sure he had always urged his friends to keep it on the down low, but he had never lost his cool in an empty house before, as if there could be someone lurking behind the curtains. He let out a low sigh and tried to relax. He stood up from Sirius' little kitchen table and began to pace the dining room.
Sirius had recently moved into his own flat, which he was very proud of. So proud, in fact, that he insisted that everyone take off their shoes at the front door, you couldn't leave a glass of juice on a table without sitting it on top of a coaster. James bet Peter one galleon that he'd be over it in a week, however, it was nearly a month now, and he was still going strong.
"You're not worried about Constance, are you?"
Remus instantly stopped pacing. "Why would you say that?"
"Because you've been unnaturally happy these last six months. I can't imagine anything else upsetting you."
"Well... I ..." Remus paused, he wanted to trust Sirius with this. But he was hardly the most sensitive person when it came to romance. James would be a better bet, even Peter. Peter took the time to listen, out of all the Marauders, he was possibly the most emotionally intuitive.
"C'mon, tell me what's up." Sirius said impatiently, before eyeing Remus' feet that had just stopped parading up and down his tiled floor. "Those socks are clean, right?"
"Yes, Sirius, for Merlin sake, my socks are clean. I distinctly remember you were planning to get through fourth year with only two pairs of boxer shorts-"
"Ah, the folly of youth."
"Sirius, you're only nineteen."
"I can grow a beard."
"Yea, a patchy one." Remus rubbed his head. As usual, Sirius was tedious to deal with.
"Whatever, a beards a beard. Anyway, what did Constance do to get you so twitchy?"
"She didn't do anything... I..." Remus paused and bit his lip. This was going to be the first time he ever spoke these words aloud, and he was dreading it. "I think... I think she knows I'm a werewolf."
"Oh?" Sirius looked questioningly at him. "Why would you say that? Ah, did she notice you like having behind your ears scratched-?"
"-I've known her for six months, right?" Remus spoke loudly over Sirius' comment. "Every full moon I tell her that we have this guys night in-"
"You what?" Sirius choked out. He doubled over laughing at his excuse.
"What else could I say?" Remus asked indignantly. He had very little options for excuses. Constance knew his mother had died recently, and that while he was on speaking terms with his dad, he never went to visit. He always told her that his dad was too busy to see him.
"Sorry... I can just imagine the four of us sitting in, listening to Celestina Warbeck and talking about our love lives... Never mind, go on... Why would you say she knows?"
"Well... That's it." Remus said exasperatedly, throwing his hands in the air. Sirius was failing to see the seriousness of this situation.
"So she hasn't said anything to you?"
"No."
"Or asked any questions?"
Remus shook his head once more.
"So... She probably doesn't know..."
"She does, Sirius, I'm telling you." Remus reached up and ran his hands through his hair. Since meeting Constance his life had taken an unexpected turn for the better. It was amazing to have a loving, physical connection to someone. It was something he never thought he would ever experience in his life. But here she was, and not only was she his perfect soul mate, she was also the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. It was perfection.
"How?" Sirius pressed impatiently.
"She... She said we should move in together."
"Well, it has been half a year." Sirius said evenly.
"That's hardly long enough to commit to sharing a living space-"
"Well, just think of it this way, for all the bad things, at least you'll be guaranteed a girl in your bed every night-"
"Sirius, that's not the point!" Remus tried to remain calm, but it was really difficult when trying to have an adult conversation with Sirius. He was very caring, and loyal, but emotional, he was not. "The point is, she's already suspicious about me. If we live together how do I hide it?"
Sirius looked blankly at him. "Why don't you just tell her?"
There was a pause, where Remus gaped at Sirius. He was unable to find the words. It took him a while to form a coherent sentence. "Padfoot. I can't tell her. She'd hate me!"
"You said she already suspects."
"So?"
"So, if she asked if she could move in with you, and she already suspects, she hardly cares, right?" Sirius shrugged as if it were really that simple. "Plus, I met her. I had to listen to her bang on about minority rights for a good hour before Lily came to save me."
"What is your point?"
Sirius sighed. "My point is, she is probably the most tolerant person I have ever met, alongside Lily of course. But Constance has this way of looking at you... You can tell she really loves you...She adores you."
Again, Remus was lost for words. He had never heard something more honest and thoughtful come from Sirius' mouth. Perhaps his best friend was right. Perhaps Constance was more tolerant than what Remus was giving her credit for.
While Remus may have been anxious about speaking to Constance, he knew he couldn't avoid it forever. It had been a couple of weeks since they spoke, which was unusual for them. They owled back and forth constantly, and without fail, every Sunday, they met for ice-cream, or more recently, hot chocolate. He had made excuses for the last two Sundays, stating he was ill, but he couldn't hold it off much longer. He needed to speak to her, and soon.
He made his way through the thick snow which lay on the streets of Diagon Alley. He had forgot to bring suitable walking shoes, and now his socks were drenched, but when he turned the corner to Florean Fortesque's ice-cream parlour, he saw Constance sitting inside, near the entrance. The window was all fogged up, but he could make out her form. She was wearing a lilac winter cloak, with a fur collar. Her hair was a little frizzy, from walking in the snow, but to Remus, she never looked better. When she caught sight of him, she gave him a toothy grin, and waved frantically. Remus smiled back, hoping that this wouldn't be the last Sunday he would be meeting her.
He entered the little shop, and the bell rang above his head. He made his way to the counter and ordered two hot chocolates with marshmallows, as usual. He carried both drinks as steadily as he could, as Constance waved him over to their usual seat at the front of the shop, with a beautiful view of the white, snowy street. The shop was relatively empty, with a small group of middle-aged women drinking their hot chocolate towards the rear of the shop. They were laden with shopping bags, and seemed to be taking a small break.
"Remus, how are you feeling?" She asked serenely, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.
"Great, why?"
"You were feeling sick the last two Sunday's... And you've been too poorly to write everyday." She reminded him lightly, as if forgetting your illness was a usual thing.
"Oh... Er, right... Yea, I'm good now. It's great to see you again... I've missed you."
"I've missed you too!" She said as she drank deeply from her glass cup. "And I've missed this hot chocolate! I think Florean has the best in Diagon... I couldn't bring myself to have it without you."
Remus smiled at her kindness. Even when he was pretending to be sick to avoid her, she thought of saving any hot chocolate drinks until when he was well again. It was tremendously selfless of her.
"Have you given any thought to what I asked?" She looked up at him curiously, and he wondered if she could see the lump in his throat as he swallowed hard. She must have, as she quickly added. "I'm not trying to pressure you... But... But..." She took a deep breath in and out before she spoke again. "I know it's early days... But I... I think I... I love you..." She whispered this last part, so that Remus only barely caught it. "I just want you to know, okay?"
"I...I love you too Connie..." He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze, as he did his best to avoid eye contact with her. Love her, he may, but was this fair to do to her when he knew what kind of a monster he really was. "I actually think it's a great idea."
"Wow, really! I'm so excited." She smiled earnestly, allowing Remus to continue to squeeze her hand gently. "I have a few curtain patterns I want you to look at-"
"But..."
"But what?" Constance's face fell.
"I need to tell you something."
"Oh..." He had released her hand and she took it back to rest beside her glass mug. It was now half empty, and the marshmallows on top had fully dissolved into it.
"I'm actually..." Remus began, but then stopped, he couldn't outright say it, that was mental. And in an ice-cream parlour? Insanity! "You know the way, every month I go hang out with my friends?"
"Yes?"
"I'm not really... Well, I am, in a way. But... It's not what you think."
"It's every full moon." She stated evenly, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.
"Y-yes... Yes, it is..." Remus said quietly, and he looked down into his lap. He couldn't face her. This was confirmation that his suspicions were correct. She knew. Of course she knew if she made the connection with the full moon. "I suppose you already know."
"Of course I know!"
"But... Honestly, what gave it away?" Remus replied, trying to keep his voice as level as he possibly could. If this was the end of Constance, he could at least use this experience to fix his mistakes, learn how to hide it better.
"Well... It was probably the first day I met you, when you showed interest in the wolfsbane potion... Honestly, who shows interest in a wolfsbane potion?"
"Well, someone who likes potions for one." Remus tried to reason with her. "You did."
Constance shook her head. "You were excited about it, not just interested. I figured it was a friend of yours... But when you went off every month to be with your friends on the full moon, it was pretty obvious."
They were both whispering now, so as not to draw any attention towards them. At least Constance was kind enough to keep her voice down. Remus knew she probably thought he was a horrible person, but she was decent, so much that she didn't want anyone else in the shop to know.
"I'm really sorry for lying like this." Remus said timidly, keeping his head bent low. He was ashamed. He was ashamed of who he was, and how he had to lie to keep company.
"It was hardly a lie... It was just... An avoidance of the truth." Constance shrugged.
"B-before I go... I'd just like to thank you though. These last six months were fun... Here's a tip for the waitress too." He placed a few sickles on the table beside his nearly full glass of hot chocolate, and went to stand up.
He had only just raised himself from his chair before Constance grabbed his arm, looking alarmed. "These last six months were fun? Is that a good-bye or something?"
"Yea... I mean... I'm a... I'm a monster. We both know that-"
Remus didn't have the chance to finish his sentence. In all his years of play fighting with his Marauder friends, he had never been pulled so hard. Constance yanked hard on his arms, almost making him loose his footing. He fell back down into the chair, and glanced around making sure no one saw that.
"Remus Lupin you are far from a monster...You leave a measly tip, I'll say that." She eyed the few sickles he left on the table. "But you're not a monster. You're the kindest, most sweetest man I've ever met... Admittedly, I haven't met many people, but I reckon you're a good one... Stay, please?" She placed a hand on his cheek, a stark contrast to her painful tug just moments previous.
Her hand was warm on his cheek, and he wasn't sure if he was flushing or not. He felt many things in this moment, he felt relieved, he felt loved, accepted, but he also felt angry and foolish. He had made out in his own head that Constance could never love him, and here she was, admitting she had known from day one of his lycantrophy, but she loved him regardless. How could he think so little of her? Hadn't he spent enough time around James, Sirius and Peter to know that good people did exist? He just had to take his time to find them.
"Did... Did you really mean what you said?"
"About moving in?" She asked in a loud whisper, staring directly into his eyes.
Remus swallowed. "Um... No... About... About loving me."
"Of course... I never thought I could love anyone until I met you... I'd love you even if you were a werewolf every second of the day."
Remus reached up and put his hand on top of hers as she continued to caress his cheek, and he whispered. "I thought you could never love me if you knew... So I kept it quiet."
"You're much better than what you realise. Those friends of yours, I hope they know just how lucky they are to know you."
"I'm the lucky one-"
"No... Trust me. It's them. And me... If you had never come to get that magazine in Diagon six months ago... I'd have never met you, and every evening I'd go home, read a bit, then go to bed and get up to do the same thing all over again." Constance was pursing her lips now, trying to keep her voice even, and desperately trying to keep a tear from slipping, though Remus could see her eyes well up slightly.
He had never known, that while Constance had broken his routine and he was grateful for it, he had never realised that he had broken her cycle of loneliness. She had been starved of friendship for years. She was just as relieved as Remus was, to have found love, and he suddenly understood that.