Chapter Thirteen

Thunder Struck

"Wow," Jason muttered as he wandered over to the still-stationary Tommy. "That kid sure seems to take the hero-worship thing to an unhealthy level. Finally managed to distract him, though. I said something about sandcastles and the next thing I knew he was roping Kira and Trent into helping him build 'the mother of all fortresses.' What are you up to?"

Tommy didn't speak, still gaping numbly into the distance. Jason followed his gaze and saw only his wife dancing around Kimberly like a very hot pygmy in a yellow bikini.

"See, this is the meaning of life," Jason said happily, watching with undiluted interest. All too soon, however, Kimberly put a stop to it. Disappointed, he turned back to Tommy. "What's up? You look like you just got gut-kicked."

Tommy finally realized that Jason was speaking and tried to grasp hold of reality. "She… she just… I can't believe she said that!"

"Who said what?" Zack asked, sidling up to them with a drink in his hand. Kira had been stolen from him by Conner and he had no one to debate mid-nineties hip-hop with, so he'd decided to come see what Jason and Tommy were doing, as Billy and Ethan were discussing something to do with a secret code that made odd things happen on the Internet and throwing out abbreviations like confetti thrown during the crowning of Miss America. Zack glanced around the beach, taking stock of what everyone else was doing.

"Tommy? You okay?" Jason asked, concerned.

"Hey, check out Trini!" Zack breathed. Trini had started dancing again. All three of them watched this for a good long while, even Tommy, who had become a bit more coherent and, being a guy with a pulse, found the sight of Trini dancing around in a swimsuit far more important than something Kimberly had just said a minute ago.

The dance was once again ended by Kimberly. Zack continued to watch, hopeful for a repeat performance, while Jason looked at his wife with a distant smile and Tommy took advantage of the borrowed time to gather his wits.

What, exactly, had Kimberly meant by that? She had made a definitely suggestive comment. That was fine by Tommy, except he didn't know if she'd meant it as anything more than a joke and he wasn't sure how to find out without leading to embarrassment, awkwardness or confusion. He guessed that searching for an answer would mean talking to Trini, but he wasn't really looking forward to that, as her tendency to cause soul-searching in others was a bit too deep for him at the moment.

He and Kimberly had yet to define any sort of… parameters so far. He'd overheard her saying that she still cared about him, and that had startled and pleased him, but he hadn't let himself dwell on it yet. (There hadn't really been time, what with trying to kill Zack and sleeping last night and heading straight for the beach this morning.) As far as he could tell, they'd entered into some sort of polite understanding where they were pretending they were simply casual acquaintances. He hadn't expected her to go flirting with him two days after seeing her for the first time in years. It didn't make sense, and it confused him, and he had no idea what she wanted or he wanted… was it any wonder that he felt like he'd been hit by a brick?

Tommy sighed inwardly and forced the thoughts from his mind. He'd been having a wonderful time on the beach, and he wasn't about to ruin his day by dissecting the mess with Kimberly; that would come later, if ever.

"God, that woman is beautiful," Jason said, staring at Trini fondly. "Isn't she the most perfect woman alive?" He looked at Tommy expectantly.

Tommy shrugged. "She is very beautiful," he agreed. "As perfect as they come."

Jason seemed satisfied with this for a moment before frowning and turning to give Tommy a look that Tommy knew would soon blossom into a glare if he didn't play his cards right.

"Of course, I've always thought Kim was hotter."

Tommy cringed inwardly. While he truly felt that Kimberly was more beautiful, he didn't want to admit that he was still attracted to Kimberly (although he was certain that all of his friends knew it anyway; he'd have to be blind not to be attracted to Kimberly), especially not after this new curveball she'd just thrown at him, but he had larger problems at the moment. Literally, even.

Jason almost got over the lapse in Tommy's judgment about saying that Jason's wife was wonderful, but then he realized that Tommy had just insinuated that Jason's wife wasn't as hot as Kimberly, and that of course was cause for a full-fledged glare.

Tommy struggled to think of what to do and prayed that Trini would start dancing again, but by now she and Kimberly were chatting and wandering over to the beach blanket. Jason wasn't exactly jealous, but he was very overprotective and it didn't take a lot to get him thinking that someone had intentions on his wife. Tommy realized that the only way to correct his statement about Kim was to insist that Trini was also very hot, but that would put him back to where he'd been after the first comment, and Tommy knew he could only go in so many circles with Jason before getting knocked right out of the ring.

"I don't know," Zack said thoughtfully, oblivious to Tommy's plight. "Kim's totally gorgeous, but Trini has this whole mysterious thing going on. Still, I'd have to lean more towards Kim. Hey, Billy!"

Billy came wandering over, leaving Ethan to go make wisecracks at Conner. "What?"

"Who do you think is hotter, Kimberly or Trini?"

Billy shrugged. "Trini," he said without hesitation. He had always thought so; he was partial to the exotic look, which of course had led him into a long-lasting and happy relationship with an alien. Billy didn't see a problem with admitting his personal taste, especially not when it was a question about two of his friends that he'd never consider dating (or, in Trini's case, stealing from another friend who could easily kick Billy's ass). Therefore it took him a moment to notice that Jason was giving him a look similar to the expression Tommy had described Jason wearing when Jason had been kidnapped by Rita and forced to fight to the death with Goldar and the Green Ranger.

"Of course, it's really more of a tossup," Billy said quickly. "Kimberly is also very gorgeous. Perhaps more so than Trini."

Jason considered this while Tommy turned a glare on him automatically out of sheer habit. Realizing that he was on very dangerous ground, Billy resorted to the method he'd always used when one of his friends was about to get mad at him—confusion.

"Perhaps my decision was tempered by the fact that neither girl is an appropriate selection for one of my disposition. Having known both of them for two and a half decades, I would not give either one more than a passing thought. Kimberly and I, however, are completely incompatible while Trini and I are far too compatible, leading to the conclusion that were I forced to choose between them I would choose Trini, as she is the only one of you that can understand me one hundred percent of the time, but as it stands neither Trini nor Kimberly would ever be able to maintain an enduring relationship with my person."

Billy watched them carefully for signs that it had worked, and found them soon enough. Tommy and Jason frowned, their eyes glazed over; Zack had stopped listening a good while ago and was now examining a seashell. Billy had realized a good long time ago that his friends were usually able to understand a lot more than they tried to, but his friends had gotten into the bad habit of relying on Trini and their minds just shut off the moment they heard a big word coming out of his mouth. Therefore, Billy was free to escape, knowing that his friends would puzzle over it for a moment and then agree to change the subject.

"Hey, Ethan!" he called, deciding to stay away from the girls for a while, just in case, and headed off to go start up a talk about video games, which was a much safer topic than the hot factor of wives and ex-girlfriends.

"What the hell was he talking about?" Jason wondered, wrinkling his nose. He sighed. "I'd ask Trini, but if he was actually talking about her we might get in deep trouble, so…"

"Don't worry about it," Tommy said without thinking. "He was wrong, anyway."

"He was not! Trini is way more beautiful than Kimberly."

Tommy could have smacked himself. Here he was again, trapped on the merry-go-round of Jason's suspicion. He debated what to say, knowing that Jason would refuse to let him stay quiet, and finally decided that it was probably less of a crime to say that Trini wasn't the hottest girl on Earth than to imply that Tommy was attracted to her. Besides, Jason was wrong anyway. Kimberly was the hottest girl on Earth.

"I've got to disagree," Tommy said apologetically.

"I'm still not sure," Zack said, standing up with the seashell in one hand. He held up his hands as if balancing a scale. "Kim, Trini, Kim, Trini… I don't know. They're both pretty hot."

Tommy and Jason turned to give him murderous looks, at which point Zack finally realized that there was a subtext of say-my-girl-is-gorgeous-again-and-die. "But they're not my type!" he added wildly. "Not my type at all!"

Kimberly finally managed to get Trini to stop dancing by pointing out that Tommy, Jason and Zack were watching her like buyers at an auction. Embarrassed, Trini halted and then realized she was neglecting the Sacred Duties of the Best Friend.

"Kim," she said, leading Kimberly back over to their scattered belongings, "there's no need to be upset about this whole 'Tommy, you're hot' moment. None whatsoever. Tommy isn't the sort of guy to take it in a way you don't want him to take it. Besides, look on the bright side—you probably just took about twelve years off his life from shock."

Kimberly giggled in spite of herself. "He did look like I'd just whacked him with my Power Bow." Her smile faded quickly. "But… what if he asks what I meant? What if he tells me that I disgusted him? What if he flirts back?"

"Kim, honey, so what if he does flirt back?"

"Well…"

"Exactly. Just go with the flow, all right? Now, I can't even begin to think that Tommy would tell you that you disgust him. And if he asks what you meant, well… I doubt he will. And Tommy, bless him, has got such an ego problem that he's probably just strutting around thinking he's oh-so-cool right now. Anyway, you've always got the three most important options in bad situations on your side."

"What three options?"

"Changing the subject, running away, and saying, 'What do you think I meant?'" Trini replied, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. "They also work in combinations."

Kimberly laughed and shook her head. "God, I miss you, girl. We've got to get together more often."

"Yeah, we do," Trini said. "Although after this week I don't think Jason will let me out of the house for a couple of months."

"Oh, come on. What happened to Independent Trini?"

"I didn't mean that in a verbal, 'I forbid you to leave' sense. I mean that as in he might nail the bedroom door shut and then realize his mistake a few weeks later."

Kimberly cackled madly. "Ah, Trini… happily married at last, eh?"

Trini grinned, but she felt a small twinge of sadness for her single friend. "When are you finally going to get serious, anyway?"

"Me? Ha. I'm having fun with the single thing," Kimberly said. "Working my way through the male buffet line of L.A. Much better than marriage."

"I beg to differ. Unlike you, I have a round-the-clock housekeeper, heavy lifter, and guard dog."

"True. Why'd you even get an actual dog, anyway?"

Trini shrugged. "American dream, right? Husband, kids, house, picket fence, dog. We decided we'd start small."

"That dog is enormous."

"Yeah, well, Chihuahuas are so annoying."

Kimberly giggled and flopped down on the blanket they'd spread out early in the day, where Trini had had her talk with Tommy. Remembering that conversation, she gave Trini a serious look. "What were you and Tommy talking about earlier today?"

Trini shrugged again, reaching into the cooler casually and pulling out a pop. "Just threatening him some more."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. What, did you expect me to say that I was trying to get him to profess his love for you?"

"Something like that, yes."

"Ha! Like I'd admit it even if I was."

"I'm not looking to hook back up with Tommy," Kimberly said severely. "Let it go, okay?"

"I'm trying, Kim. But don't tell me that you don't want to hook back up with him." Seeing Kimberly's angry expression, Trini smiled and added, "Admit it. He looks too good naked to let go, right?"

Kimberly burst out laughing again. Trust Trini to make her feel better about an excruciatingly large mess. "I don't know. The haircut totally killed that whole Greek god imagery he had going on."

Trini grimaced. "Well, that's not a thought I want in my head. Can we talk about the weather now?"

Kimberly chuckled and they lapsed back into silence, watching their friends and the teens running around the beach and chattering away. "They're staring at us again," Kimberly commented, jerking her head at Jason, Zack and Tommy.

"Just like old times," Trini murmured. "Us on the beach… Tommy gazing at you while Zack and Jason try to distract him back to the realm of Guy Stuff…"

"Ha! You know Jason was probably just as love struck all those years."

"Was not. Well, according to him, he was, but he wouldn't admit it to the guys and therefore he wasn't usually blatant like Tommy."

"You know, if Zack and Jason were trying to distract Tommy, what was Billy doing?"

"Probably thinking deep thoughts that none of us could understand."

"Except you."

"Hey, not even I understand the boy all the time! He's a genius. I'm just a smart chick."

"Uh-huh."

"No, seriously. On occasion even I just pretend to know what he's talking about."

"He probably wasn't thinking deep thoughts anyway. He was probably checking you out, too."

"Oh, please. You're just saying that to induce my I-have-a-dangerous-husband paranoia."

"It's working, isn't it?"

"…Okay, new subject." Trini turned her head slightly, just enough to get a better view of the guys without being obvious. "Now I remember what was so fun about going to the beach."

"Four hot guys in swimming trunks, eh?"

Trini nodded and sighed. "Jason always was way hotter than the others, though. Mm."

"Oh, please. You always used to agree with me that Tommy was the hottest."

Trini was careful to hide her smile behind her pop can. Kimberly had taken the bait. "Yeah, but only because I didn't want you to find out that I had a crush on Jason."

"Whatever! You agreed with me that he was hot, the first time I saw him!"

"Yes, in that 'he'd be good for you' sort of way! And I never said he was hotter than Jason."

"Uh-huh, sure."

"Jason is way hotter than Tommy!" Trini insisted, just barely remembering to keep her voice down in time.

"He is not! Tommy's way better-looking. I mean, look at those abs."

"He's standing next to my husband. I don't think that's wise."

"You're just not looking because you don't want to admit I'm right!"

"I don't have to look to know I'm right!"

The two girls gazed at each other defiantly before sighing in unison. "Second opinion?" Kimberly asked. "Well, third?"

Trini nodded and they looked around before their eyes landed on Kira.

"Dude, this is so lame," Conner was saying as he, Trent and Kira sat on the sand, building a sandcastle. "I mean, this is way childish," Conner added as he carefully molded the sand on one of the towers.

"Secure enough in your maturity yet to stop pretending you think what we're doing is dumb?" Trent asked mildly, sculpting one of the battlements with an artist's eye.

"Who's pretending?" Conner demanded. Trent ignored him, wisely deciding not to point out that it had been Conner's idea to build one in the first place. Glaring at him, Conner turned back to the castle. "Kira, be careful! You almost wrecked the drawbridge."

Kira and Trent smiled at each other. They were comfortable with how mature they were, and therefore didn't feel the need to abstain from children's activities to prove themselves; Conner, however, was a bit more concerned with image.

Trent leaned in to whisper something at Conner's expense into Kira's ear, but suddenly Kira's ear vanished. Startled, he looked up to find Kimberly and Trini literally dragging his girlfriend away. "We'll be back in a second!" Kimberly called over her shoulder.

"Hey, guys," Kira said uncertainly when they finally halted and released her. "What's up?"

"Who do you think is the hottest guy?" Kimberly demanded without preamble or explanation.

"Well… I'd have to go with Trent," Kira said, confused.

"No, no, no," Trini said impatiently. "He doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"Because we're talking about from our perspective and Trent and Conner and Ethan are too young to register on our radar without it being icky," Trini explained.

"We're talking about the others," Kimberly added.

"Yes, who do you think is hottest, Kira?"

Kira frowned and looked at the four males of proper age. She had a distinct feeling that there was only one right answer to this question, but she wasn't sure what it was. It couldn't be Tommy, because after all they knew Kira was creeped out by the thought of "Dr. O" as a datable human being, and it probably wouldn't be Jason, because he was Trini's man, so of course that left Zack and Billy… and if Jason was ruled out because he was involved, then so was Billy because of Cestria…

"…Zack?" Kira asked hopefully.

Kimberly smacked her forehead. "No! We mean, is Jason or Tommy cuter?"

"Jason," Kira replied without hesitation.

"HA!" Trini roared.

"Kira! Are you blind? Tommy is way hotter than Jason! Look at those abs, will you?" Kimberly attempted to turn Kira in the right direction, but Kira squinted her eyes shut and shuddered.

"EW! Kim, he's my science teacher, remember? That's just gross. I don't ask you to check out your mentor, do I?"

Kimberly stomped her foot. "No fair! We need an impartial witness."

"I can't help it if she's not impartial!" Trini retorted. "She said Jason was hotter than Tommy. Deal with it."

"She said Zack was hotter than Jason! So there!"

"Zack is in no way hotter than Tommy, let alone Jason."

"Tommy is hotter than Jason and so is Zack!"

"No way!"

"Come on, Trini. We both know that if Kira could check out Tommy without wigging, she would totally think he was way hotter than Jason. It's just fact."

"Hey!" Zack called as he approached with Tommy and Jason. "What are you guys talking about?"

Trini, Kimberly and Kira jumped quite guiltily as the three main topics of their conversation looked at them expectantly. They looked at each other, communicating with their eyes the way only close females can.

"Trent," Kira said in response to Zack's question.

"Computers," Trini said at the same time.

"Shopping," Kimberly replied simultaneously.

It might be a good idea to note that eye communication isn't foolproof.

Three pairs of eyebrows lifted in unison. "Want to try that again?" Jason asked in amusement.

"Computers," said Kira.

"Shopping," said Trini.

"Trent," said Kimberly.

They looked at each other again.

"Shopping for computers with Trent?" Kira suggested.

"Yeah!" Kimberly and Trini chorused, impressed with her logic.

The guys crossed their arms over their chests and gave them stern looks. "Not even we're that dense," Zack said.

The girls shared another look.

This sucks, Kira said using secret eye-communicating code.

What now? Kimberly asked silently.

What else? Run away, Trini replied.

"Trent!" Kira called loudly, racing off.

"Billy!" Trini yelled, rushing over to the two blue-clad computer geeks.

"Um…" Kimberly bit her lip, realizing that she was out of available guys; if she went after Ethan, she'd be in the same place as Trini, and Jason, Tommy and Zack would follow the two of them and try to get them to talk. She was probably better off heading over towards the teens, as Tommy wouldn't want to interrogate her in front of them, but Trent was talking to Kira, so that just left…

"Conner!" Kimberly called resignedly, and darted away.

Tommy, Jason and Zack looked at each other, confused and suspicious. "What do you think that was all about?" Tommy wondered.

"Maybe they were arguing over which of us was better-looking like we were doing about them," Zack joked.

"Yeah, right," Jason laughed. "And they went to go get Kira for a second opinion."

"I doubt it," Tommy said. "I don't think Kira would really pass judgment on how good-looking her teacher and his friends were."

"…Hey, there's an idea!" Jason said thoughtfully. "She'll know which of the girls is prettiest!"

"Wouldn't one of the guys be a better judge?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, like I want one of them looking at my wife that way. Come on!"

"Trent," Kira said as she flopped down next to the sandcastle, "I have to tell you something or I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight."

Trent knocked a tower right off the castle, which thankfully Conner didn't notice, as Conner was now in an uncomfortable conversation with Kimberly (whose very presence still scared the crap out of him, as it brought to mind authority figures with glowing green eyes and twenty-plus years of martial arts experience). Trent turned to look at Kira slowly. A statement like that was never a good thing when it came from your girlfriend's mouth.

"Yes?" he said cautiously, steeling himself for the worst.

"You have wonderful abs. Better than any guy on the planet. Of any age."

Trent looked down at his stomach, slightly puzzled at this comment but flattered just the same. "Um… okay. Thanks."

"I mean it. Your abs are the only abs that are ever on my mind. They're perfect. I will never look at another guys' abs."

Trent frowned, struggling to figure out exactly what had led him into this rather odd conversation. Before he could get his mind halfway around it, Kira was yanked away once again, this time by Jason and Zack.

"I didn't do it!" Kira insisted wildly as they hauled her across the beach to a halt in front of Tommy.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jason said, waving his hand dismissively. "We just needed your help with something."

It was on the tip of Kira's tongue to tell them that if they wanted to know whether Jason, Tommy or Zack was hottest, they could forget it, but as that would have given her and Trini and Kimberly away, she bit back the comment and gave Jason an expectant look.

"Hold up!" Tommy said, thrusting his hand up like a traffic cop. "They wanted to know. I have no part of this. Just so we're clear on that."

"Whatever," Jason said impatiently. "Listen, Kira, we know this is a little, um, unusual, but we got into an argument and we were hoping you could tell us—who's prettier, Trini or Kim?"

Kira gaped at them, fully prepared to throw up her hands and storm off. It wasn't weird enough that she was kidnapped by Trini and Kimberly to get girl-to-girl opinions on guys? Now she had to have a bunch of guys ask her for an opinion about her own gender?

"Zack," Kira replied darkly, and pushed past them to rejoin Trent.

Jason, Zack, and Tommy stared after her as she sat down and firmly linked arms with Trent to anchor herself. None of the three guys were able to fathom how exactly it was that Zack was prettier than Trini and Kimberly.

"…I did say Trini or Kim, right?" Jason asked.

"She had a rough night last night," Tommy said with a shrug.

"Oh, yeah," Zack said, snorting a laugh.

"Yeah, there's no way you're prettier than my wife," Jason said, still oblivious to the events at the hotel the previous evening.

"Hey," Zack said indignantly.

"And he's definitely not prettier than Kimberly," Tommy added.

"Hey!"

"Well, I think that was sort of implied, seeing as how Trini's hotter than Kim."

"She is not!"

"She is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

Leaving them to their fight, Zack shrugged and wandered off to join the sandcastle group (as Trini, Billy and Ethan were discussing technology, and the only things Zack knew about technology were things involving the operation of televisions, cars and CD players, and that was pretty iffy itself). With a slight grin, he turned to Kimberly and said, "Hey, Kim, do you think I'm prettier than you?"

She snorted. "Of course not."

"I am too!"

"You so are not!"

Zack looked over at Kira, whom he figured would be on his side, but the moment Kira spotted him glancing at her she clamped her hands firmly over her ears while still keeping her elbow linked around Trent's. Shrugging, he turned to Conner. "Do you think Kim is prettier than me?"

Conner stared at him in horror. He couldn't say that Zack was prettier, because Conner did have a reputation to maintain. He also couldn't say that Kimberly was prettier, because then it might get back to Tommy.

"Wrong guy!" he said emphatically, waving his hands as if to ward Zack off.

Trent chuckled, looking from defiant Kira to scared Conner to nervous-embarrassed-and-yet-curious Kimberly. "Thank god I'm escaping most of the weirdness," he said cheerfully, and went to fix the demolished tower with his free arm.