Please note; this chapter was very emotional and difficult for me to write. Please be considerate when reviewing.
Anna's back story was one that she hid well, never revealing more than she wanted. Often times, she would only let a sentence slip through, and it never said much about her past, shadowing it even further. Sometimes, she would lie just to move off of the subject, and Luke had caught onto the signals that she made when she wanted to get off of her back story. Just from the way her pupils dilated and her muscles tensed whenever he asked her about her life before the crash, he knew that whatever had happened to her was not something she wanted to bring up. He had gone through a traumatic experience himself, and now he wanted to help her with overcoming her own mental barriers. She wasted at blocking him out of her mind, and he knew that she was consciously making the design to keep him out of her mind, which was both infuriating and admirable, as he wanted to know what was inside of her mind and was frustrated whenever she shut him out, but he knew that her mental strength was well-conditioned if she was able to block out his mind tricks. Nothing about her was weak now, as Yoda had trained her well and pushed her to the point of breaking, both mentally and physically, but it had helped her in ways that she had not yet realized.
The two had been practicing their Force skills when Anna suddenly shied away from him. She threw herself against the wall behind her, her back pressed to it, and she was looking at Luke like he had just tried to assault her. Luke was confused by her sudden response, and he paused, straightening up.
"Did I do something?" he asked softly, and he could see her relax physically when she heard his voice.
"No, you didn't," she said, letting her muscles relax again, and she pushed herself away from the wall. "It's nothing."
"Obviously not," he said as she turned away from him. "You shot back like I was going to punch you. Did something happen?"
"No," she said curtly. "It was an overreaction, that's all."
"I wasn't even making any movement to go toward you."
Anna sighed and looked up at the ceiling. She knew that Luke was going to push the answer out of her some way or another, and she would have to spill her mind to him. She looked over at him and sighed.
"We need to go somewhere where no one can hear us," she said.
"This place is hardly ever visited," he responded, and she sighed.
"Fine," she said, and took a deep breath before she sat down on the bench that was carved into the wall. Luke walked over to her and sat next to her. he could see the emotions in her face, and none of them seemed to be pleasant at all. They were conflicting with each other, and it looked to be killing her from the inside. He lightly resting his hand over her forearm and her eyes slowly raised to his.
"If you don't feel comfortable telling me, then don't," he said softly, but she just shook her head.
"No, someone needs to hear this," she said, and took a deep breath before she began.
"I had a very distant fifteen years," she said. "I was born on a planet that I still don't know to this day the name of, but I never want to. I don't want anything to do with my family any more. They've caused me so much pain over the years that I'm mentally scarred from it, and it will never heal. I've tried over and over to let go, but the things that happened to me were things that most people can't even begin to imagine.
"The first couple years of my life that I remember were fine in terms of my happiness. I wasn't unhappy, but there was a never an element of happiness in my childhood. My parents hardly ever socialized with me, and I never had the friends that most people my age had. I was always inside the house, not doing much. I had hardly any social skills, and to this day I still suffer from the overpowering forces that my parents placed upon me. Their marriage was not one of happiness either. Our household seemed to thrive on being stuck in limbo; neither happy or unhappy.
"When I turned eight, things started to go downhill. My parents broke out of the limbo state, and not in a good way. They would constantly yell at each other, and my life turned from one of boredom and isolation to one of pure fear. Multiple times my parents would take out their frustrations on me. They made it clear that I was not wanted in their household anymore, and I was only eight years old at this time. I had no idea why it was me, or if this lifestyle was normal. I tried my best to adapt to it, but that too hurt me in ways deeper than you can imagine. Both my father and my mother increased the intensity of which they isolated me from the galaxy. Threats were made, some of which I didn't even understand at the time. They never laid a hand on me, at that time, as it was all mental. Now, in hindsight, I know why they were trying to destroy me from the inside. They knew of my sensitivity to the Force, and they were trying to get it out of me as if it was some sort of possession. They believed in the Empire, though they never went out of their way to worship it. Still, their views on Force-Sensitivity were beyond corrupt. Their mental games that they played with me were almost as if they were trying to vote a response out of me to prove their theories. This continued until I was eleven years old, and then the physical pain started.
"Both my father and my mother began to self-medicate themselves with alcohol. It heightened the physical abuse that I went through, as well as the mental. I had no idea what I had done to deserve the punishments I was getting. I had still not been socialized with anyone, not even my neighbours, and I thought that abuse was a normal cycle of life. My father and my mother would both hit me, and I still have scars, mental and physical that prove it. It was daily that the assaults came, and it always ranged. When I was thirteen, I tried to take my own life, but one of my neighbours had been walking by at the time, and had quickly rushed me to the medical facilities."
Anna paused and looked down at the floor. She could feel her eyes threatening to burst at any moment, and Luke sensed it. He wrapped is arm around her and she leaned into him, desperate for some sort of gentle contact. It had been years since she had thought of her childhood, and now she was reliving everything in her mind. The images plagued her as she remembered when she had grabbed a knife and run into her room. She remembered the sweet pain of the blade cutting into her wrist and the dark red pouring out of the wound. She had thought that she would die that day, but she hadn't. She looked down at her left wrist and saw the faint line that would stay, forever imprinted into her skin. Luke tensed at her side as her finger ran over the scar and he ground his teeth together. No one should ever have to take their own lives, no matter how hard it was. He had realized his feelings for Anna when she had been away, and now, seeing her in this broken mental state felt as though a knife was stabbing him through the heart. He had no idea what he would do if she ever tried to kill herself now knowing how much she meant to him.
"After my suicide attempt, my neighbour tried to come to my defence and take me in to protect me," Anna continued. "I thought that my parents would oblige, but they didn't. They wanted me under their watch at all times. Now that my neighbour knew of my abuse, he was doing all he could to expose it. He was almost at the point to get my parents arrested when the Empire shot him in the head when he was stepping out of his house for a moment.
"At that moment, I knew that I had no safe haven anymore. My parents continued the mental and physical assault, and I knew that I would not be able to hold on for much longer. I was fifteen when I made my plan of attack, and executed it. I was barely able to fight through them because I was so weak. I know now how I did it, through my Force skills that I had no idea that I harboured. I left the planet as soon as I could, and I've been alone ever since."
She finished her story and sighed. The only sound in the room as the faint hum of the overhead lights and the slow beat of their hearts. Luke's feelings felt as though they were being twisted in ways that he could not understand. He didn't know why he was impacted so much by her words, but he felt as though he had lived with her in those images that she had created.
"How anyone could ever bring themselves to hurt you is heartless," he said, and she forced a weak smile. "I can't believe you lived like that for almost a decade."
Anna shifted closer to Luke so that their bodies were touching, and Luke wrapped both of his arms around her shoulders, not in a constricting way, but in a protective way. He knew that what had happened to her was done, but he couldn't help but feel that there was something he could do.
"It's been getting worse now," she said. "I know that Vader knows of my training. He's using it to control my thoughts. I've been getting flashbacks of those images constantly, and it's making me weaker."
"You are not weak," Luke said. "Don't think for a moment that you are weak. The fact that you're still grinding through this tough stretch is proof that you're not weak. If anything, you should be admired for your courage and strength."
"No one will ever know of my true back story except you," she said. "I feel as though I could share anything with you."
"Likewise," Luke said, and Ann turned her head around to look up at him straight-on. Luke's icy orbs held hers easily, and she placed one of her hands on top of his collarbone. She glanced down at his lips and slowly began to move her head forward. Luke followed suit, and the two of them reached for each other before their lips met in an instant. The rejuvenation and fire that Anna felt when their lips met was one that she would never recreate. Her hands slowly move up to his neck, and his hand held the back of her head as she shifted around so that she was fully facing him. Never had she been kissed so gently in her life before. The men that she had associated herself with during her travels were never gentle with her, and were never passionate. Luke was a stark contrast, and she loved it. No longer did the warning signs in her head flash, and she relaxed. In that moment, she forgot all about Yoda's warnings, and lost herself in ecstasy that Luke was creating for her.
She was the first one to pull away, and her eyes fluttered open. Luke was gazing down at her lovingly. Never had she felt this way with a man before, and she liked it. She rested her head on the ridge of Luke's collarbone, and let out a soft sigh. "There's more after you escaped from your parents, isn't there?" Luke asked.
"Yes," she said. "I will tell you, but not now. For now, I just want some time to enjoy that little moment we shared."
One more chapter until we move to ROTJ!