Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shokugeki no Soma
Author's Note:
Thanks you all for your reviews and feedback!
Guess who has two thumbs and loves crack-shipping? *pointing at myself* This Guuuuuuy~!
Santa's Little Helper.
Step 1. The wish to create Christmas magic.
Step 2. One unlucky guy.
Step 3. One lucky coincidence.
Think the recipe is simple? Think again!
December is the month of snow and magic of changes. Every kid on the planet with even the piece of belief in magic is waiting for the most magical night of the year. But while Christmas night is still ten days away, some people are already aiming for the top spot on the Naughty List...
Terunori Kuga was often teased for his height. When other kids were already hitting their puberty, he still could be mistaken for a grade schooler. And over the years, as teasing coninued, he learnt how to channel his frustration into cooking and shut the idiots up. Not that he didn't get extra angry whenever some four-eyed b*tches made fun of him! But still he didn't think about his height that much nowadays. Until he was made fun of in the most insulting way...
And who was to blame?
Well, at least the answer for this question the Master of Chinese Cuisine knew for bloody sure.
"Yukihira, come out!" The majority of students looked confused as the third year, not even caring to wear a coat and scarf, walk around the campus... with the butcher knife?! All of them backed away, fearing that he could slaughter them in his fit of rage. The aura around him was just as murderous as his cooking was hot and spicy. His eyes were filled with uncontrollable rage and intent to kill. His voice was more of animal growling than human speech. "Come out, Yukihirachii... so I can strangle YOU!"
"With a butcher knife?" Soma shot up from the nearest snow-covered bush. He instantly realized his mistake as Kuga launched at him. The son of Asura leapt out of the way and dashed forward.
"Get back! I will kill you!" His roar completely destroyed the peaceful atmosphere of snowy day.
"How is that supposed to make me stop?"
"Aaaaarrr!" Yukihira increased his pace, seeing that Terunori was no longer capable of actual conversation.
Fortunately, the duo ended up running in circles, which meant that students could just pass them and not get stabbed. And that also meant that a certain group of people could peacefully watch the ongoing scene.
"Remind me how this all started?" Alice asked casually, watching the show. Her loyal aide was holding the cup of hot chocolate in case his milady wanted to get warm.
"Long story short?" Akira asked back. He seemed completely unfazed by the ongoing. "Yukihira decided to brew some 'special' rice juice himself and offered Kuga-senpai to taste it."
"I guess, it didn't go too well, right?" Alice was well aware of how terrible some of his experiments could be. Well, luckily not from personal experience. But the expression of horror and pain on Kurokiba's face the other day spoke volumes about it.
"On the contrary, it was way too good for Kuga-senpai not to drink ten more cups." Akira sighed. When those two spent time together, something bad was bound to happen. "And as a result he got too drunk to think about what he did next."
"What is this?" Alice's eyes lit up.
"He-"
"GUYS, HELP!" Yukihira exclaimed, apparently losing strength in his legs.
"Like Hell you will get away, Yukihira! I will strangle you and burn you alive!"
"Once again, what is the butcher knife for then?!"
The group of students continued watching.
"... Wow!" Alice exclaimed. "So that is why Kuga-senpai is chasing Yukihira-kun?"
"Pretty childish, if you ask me." Akira added casually. He turned to the left and his eyes shot wide open in shock. Beside them sat Eizan. And he was... smiling? And not in some creepy maniacal way. It was, in all honesty, the happy smile of a child who got the desired toy. "When did you get here?"
"Isshiki texted me." The yankee chef pointed at the current first seat. His smile was still present. "I couldn't just sit in my office, knowing what is going on here."
The other members of the group looked at him surprised. Did he really come here to help his fellow Elite Ten members? Maybe, after all, he learnt to care about other people more than-
"Now," He interrupted their thoughts and clapped his hands. Two guys appeared out of nowhere with an armchair and placed it behind Eizan. He snapped his fingers and they handed him a camera and a bowl of popcorn. Grinning pleased as Terunori started getting closer to Yukihira, Eizan switched on the device and started recording. The others looked at him incredulously. "What? If all cards play out right, I might get rid of both headaches! And I can just here and enjoy the view!"
Nah... It was still the same Eizan etsuya. That greedy son of a-
"YUKIHIRA!" Terunori roared, doubling his pace. "Stay still and I'll chop off that useless head of yours!"
"See?" Yukihira exclaimed in triumph. "Now you have got the right idea of what to do with the butcher knife!"
"DIIIIIIIE!"
In the end Eizan didn't get his so-anticipated murder and imprisonment. (Kami-sama, he would enjoy it even more than money!) Not because of both Yukihira and Terunori reasoning and talking like high school students should. (Not thay tgey would be able to have one under normal circumstances.) But because... Well...
"Can you believe that they fainted from exhaustion?" Akira said with his eyebrow raised.
"Nothing surprising." Nene said calmly. "They have been running for five hours staright."
Yukihira smiled cheekily. Not because of the fact that he was actually alive, though.
"You bastard." Kuga muttered angrily. You could practically see the aura of bloodlust floating above him.
"Still..." Yukihira's grin widened. "You have signed the contract willingly, remember?"
"You got me drunk!"
"The only thing I can hear right is 'Blah-Blah-I will work as Santa's Little Helper-Blah'. Don't you think that this is perfect opportunity for you to be adored and loved for being short?" It was not secret that ever since joining the Elite Ten Yukihira and Terunori quickly became somewhat rivaling friends with each one of them often pranking another one. Just recently Kuga had Yukihira's half-naked pictures distributed in their school newspaper but Yukihira...
"If only I could reach you now, you would be dead..." The master of spicy food glared at Yukihira menacingly. Only think about this: his underclassman actually got him. And in such a classic way! To say that you admit defeat and then strike the opponent! Honestly, Soma turned out to be much more of a strategist than he originally gave him credit for. And now he would have to work as one of those elves! ELVES!
He turned his head towards the door. Eizan was smirking. No, scratch that. He was having one of those horrifying smiles of his. And Nene was smiling. Not so wide and brightly but way more than all her smiles combined during the last year. Damn it!
Now, dear readers let's just quickly run through the whole Santa's Little Helper job which our dear character is going to do for the following week.
Due to not the best aftertaste of last year's events, the New Elite Ten decided to hold this activity in order to boost student body's spirit and enhale some Christmas Spirit into Tootsuki. There was no problem with eggnog, numerous desserts and gingerbread houses and men. But still there was something missing... And what was it? Right, the pleasure of getting money (Damn it, Eizan!) -scratch that- giving gifts! And of course, what is the better way to do it with such big amount of students than having "Secret Santa"?
Right now, Terunori Kuga, dressed in ridiculous green and red suit could think of so many more ways to do this! And those methods would never involve dressing one of the Elite Ten as those stupid creatures! Right now Terunori has also come up with more than hundred ideas about how he would torture Yukihira and Eizan for what they did! Why Eizan, you ask? Well, guess who used his vast connections to find the best elf suit for him? Yeah, now you know why he wants him dead.
As to add insult to injury, he was not just tasked with delivering present from student to student!Noooo! He was also required to do so all the while hopping and singing that stupid carol about jingling bells! Oh and yeah, he had to smile brightly!
And that was only the part of his responsibilities...
"Jingle bells, my life sucks!" Kuga muttered in a grumbling sing-song tone. The exchange of presents was over, and thank Kami-sama for this. But right now he had to do the work of supposedly existing Santa. You see, dear readers, as Erina gives her best to whatever she does, she decided to make another step in creating the Christmas Atmosphere. At the thought of Nakiri, Kuga started thinking about things which would permanently put him at the top of the Naughty List. "Screw them all the way!"
He hated paperwork. He, however, couldn't hand it over to Eizan as easily as Rindo did. And right now he could swear he developed the deep hatred for these letters on his desk! There was supposed to be a "Santa"... From what he heard, they would just hire an accountant and number of specialists for the task. This Santa was supposed to read all the letters of all students and grant them their wsihes as long as they were grantable! Sounds easy at first and even cute...
Oh yeah, like Hell it was...
Turns out, too many of the specialists were either too busy with much more important projects or busy with their families... Guess who was the lcuky guy to be promoted? Yup, before Kuga could even protest and without anyone knowing (Erina said that using student as a Santa would severely damage the holiday spirit), he was appointed as unofficial (Kuga: You couldn't even make me an official one?!) Santa! Well, the task didn't sound too bad, right? It was going to be easy to write down whatever people wished... Right? RIGHT?
Nope. Nah. No, it wasn't...
You see, many kids in Tootsuki were from very rich and influential families and, of course, they had very different ideas about what was easy and simple. But while greedy little kids were a bigger part, there were even more of students who decided to take advantage of this and wished various things realted to club funds, shokugeki scores and arrangements and even the position in the Elite Ten. (Kuga made sure to write down those guys and later crush them into paprica!) And for each of those ungrantable wishes, he would have to fill in forms, which would include his reasons for rejecting it (which also meant he would be required to write all the data about finances, potential consequences on student activity and so on. And Kami-sama knows, Kuga had to fight the urge to write "This is f****ing stupid wish" on each and every one of such.) and, of course, suggested alternative to it. (here, he had to fight the urge to write "An actual brain.")
However, there was a small fraction of people who had pretty reasonable wishes, which actually fitted the holiday mood.
"So..." Kuga muttered, reading the letter from none other than Tadokoro Megumi, one of the dormmates of Yukihira. And while he would like to get to Yukihira via one of his friends, he has already gone through 128 stupid requests and 24 normal ones. Plus, that girl didn't look that spoiled during the Autumn Elections... So he gave it a try. "Let's see... Dear Santa, even though I don't think you are reading this... Ha, she is quite smart, isn't she?" Kuga chuckled before continuing reading. "... I have great friends and loving family... so I don't really have anything to wish from you... Then why waste paper and ink? And even more importantly, my time?" He groaned. "Ahem.. But I have one friend. She is a pretty scary at first glance but when you get to know her, she is a great person with kind heart. So here I would like to ask something from you. I know she wouldn't do it herself... Please make a certain guy notice her... Sincerely, Tadokoro Megumi."
Kuga's eye twitched slightly as he didn't find the name of the supposed guy. How in the name of Kami-sama would he get two completely unknown to him people go on a date? It was a waste of time after all. Just a second later he tossed the letter into the "TRASH" pile, not caring if it crushed the whole construction. He had several hundreds more of those...
It was going to be a long night.
It was the third day of the Christmas Week in Tootsuki. Many people were happy with the whole ordeal, practising more and more recipes. Very many students were so excited with the upcoming holiday that even the constant fear of expulsion was not as concentrated in the air. Overall, it was a success. And it was not even a Christmas. That meant that he would spend the following week reading the rest of the letters. Oh, you could practically see Kuga slowly but surely turning into Grinch...
"Hey, are you alright?" Someone asked from behind. The gentle smell of hot chocolate touched his nose and a realxed smile formed on his face. He never told anyone but this drink was his weakness. One of the minimally few, just to be clear. Turning around, the first thing he saw was the the chest of the woman. Now, he was not a pervert, alright? She was just too tall and naturally, he had to look up to see...
"Miyoko-chin?" He asked surprised. She held out the cup and he took it with his trademark smirk. "I guess you are not here to join my Research Society, huh?"
The purple haired girl sighed and said firmly: "No." Not thta he expected any other answer from the only student who actually said no to his offer on more than one occasion. Call him stubborn but he would eventually get her to join the RS and without changing his ways!
"Then what brings you here?" He aske, taking a sip of hot chocolate. It was home-made. With a slight hint of cinnamon. For one second, he was back at his home with two annoying siblings. The cold days his family would spend by playing in the snow and then, covered in sheets, sipping the hot chocolate. Kuga quickly shook the feeling off. "Not in the mood for big companies?"
"Just don't feel like talking about nonsense." She said simply. She looked at the groups of students not far away. "They do understand that this whole thing is just temporary. They know that very soon they will once again be at each other's throats. And yet they are all trying to be as friendly and happy as possible..." She said unsurely. She was asking herself if it was the right thing to do? To try and forget about the pressure of this school just for one week? "... I wish I could do the same."
She said it quietly, not wanting to show her weakness and self-doubt. And Terunori pretended he didn't hear. After all, it was not his business. Right?
"You know..." Who knows what made him speak? Maybe the all so famous Christmas Spirit? Or maybe he just needed to have the last word for himself? Or he just wanted to have a good excuse to be late for the whole Santa routine... Helping someone's emotional dilemma was a good reason to be late, right?
"... I think, you should enjoy it while you can." Ouch, that sounded harsh, didn't it? The girl raised her eyebrow.
"I-I mean, this is a holiday for crying out loud! Yes, in just a week everyone will once again have to fight for your survival in this school! B-But the girl as talented and smart as you shouldn't even worry about it in the first place!"
Okay, now that was unexpected. Did she just blush? Her cheeks turned slightly pink either from cold or his words. For some reason, Kuga hoped it was the latter. As he found some unknown resolve to speak out, he continued. With every word, it seemed much easier.
"Look at yourself." He said with a slight hint of jealousy in his eyes. "You are not just a chef! You are amazing at sports and your grades are awlays high! It's like whatever you do you are always aiming for the top! Or, at least, trying to beat every guy in whatever you can." He smiled awkwardly. What? He never said such things! Stupid heart-melting hot chocolate! "I-I mean... If anything, they should be worried and depressed..." That sounded a bit cruel, yeah? "And you, with such skills and smarts, should have your fun out there!"
The talk ended with awkward silence. Both students were pretty red in the face by this point. As Kuga's eyes got glued to the floor, he couldn't help but count seconds until hojo left. It was way too embarassing to stand here with her after saying all those things. Strangely, she was staying still. Just as he was about to turn around and run like the man on fire, he heard light snickering. It held not even a hint of mock or wickedness.
On the contrary, as the snickering transformed into light laughter, Kuga could feel something grow in his chest. It was some warm feeling, not the one his dishes caused. It was not hot or spicy, it didn't heat you up but instead it kept you warm in completely another sense. As he loooked up from the ground, he saw Miyoko's face in trhe way noone probably did. With her cheeks bright red and eyes closed, she was smiling at him.
"I think I am fine with the way I am right now." She said with the same kind and warm smile. She breathed out and turned to him. "You know, Kuga-senpai... A friend of mine-"
"Hey, what's this?" Kuga shifted his attention to a small piece of green plant with three red berries and two silver bells tied together with bright red ribbon right above them. "Wait, is it?" He looked nervously at the Chinese cuisine chef. "Miyoko, you don't have to-"
"Well, I guess I am not the one to change rules, am I?" She shrugged. The slight blush on her cheeks intensified, turning bright red. She lowered her face and closed her eyes.
And you know what? Right now Kuga was actually happy with his short stature... Because he got to look up and see the most beatiful woman in his life. He closed his eyes. They sealed their lips together...
Not so far from them stood a group of students.
Shoji and Daido were trying to bury each other under were playing, of course. Right?
Ibusaki was sitting silently with his hand playing with Urara's smooth black hair as she kept talking to other girls about her favourite while he knew that she was lying, he let it be. After all, it would be way funnier later when they found out. For now, he would just enjoy her sweet side with friends.
Akira was standing by Alice's side to make sure she didn't "accidentally" let something embarassing about him slip off her how much she has learnt during the short period of time they were dating, he wished he had God's Ears instead of Nose...
Yukihira, after getting under 35 mistletoes in a row (Completely and utterly by accidental route his beloved chose), had his hands wrapped around Nao. Her smile was warm and relaxed as she could feel his heart beat faster whenever she would tighten her grip around his arms.
"Is everything alright, Tadokoro-chan?" Takumi asked his girlfriend. She has been staring off somewhere for quite some time.
"A-Ah, yeah." She snapped out of somewhat surprised state and smiled warmly at the Italian student. She smiled at the memory of what she just saw. Even an innocent girl like Tadokoro long time ago has lost most of her faith in wonders and magic. But this very moment helped the child in her soul be reborn. "I guess..."
She looked at the kissing couple and smiled warmly, wrapping her arm around Takumi's and resting her head on his shoulder.
"... I just got my Christmas gift earlier than I expected."
So, guys, here is the deal! I am really terrible with specials, alright? I am not sure if I will make one for Christmas itself!
So that's why I am presenting you one of several oneshots which have pre-Christmas theme to them. Maybe I will manage to come up with Christmas Special but I am not sure.
By the way, in this chapter I could accidentally ruin some Christmas carols (Purely for fun. No ill will, honestly.) so please don't be angry with me. Also, I hope I portrayed your favourite characters right. I hope I didn't make Kuga too much of a jerk and Miyoko too soft. I tried to imagine people with their personalities in the written situations.
So...
Until the 25th of december there will be some more of these, guys. I am not sure how many, though. I can write two more. I can write nine more. I don't know. Who knows maybe you will give me some inspiration with your suggested couples? Have any idea about possible AU or setting for Christmas theme? Write it in comments!