Carried Off, a DreamWorks' How to Train Your Dragon fanfic by Raberba girl (rough draft)

A/N: Warning for potential squick.

IF THE OBNOXIOUS CENSORING ON FFN BOTHERS YOU, PLEASE READ THIS FIC ON AO3 OR DEVART INSTEAD. If you don't have accounts with those sites, then I can't help you; I'm done replying to complainers.

o.o.o

The next morning, Hiccup was awakened early by Valka's hungry yells and her brother's annoyed fussing at the noise. Hiccup took them back to his house, ignoring the amazement of the villagers he passed, but found only Astrid's mother home, and was told that his wife had been gone all night. "She's so shocked, H-Hiccup...she-"

Villagers were crowding around Hiccup by now, demanding his attention and causing anxiety to Finn and riling up Valka even more.

"All of you, shut up," Hiccup shouted. Then, taking quick advantage of the surprised but undoubtedly brief lull, "Someone find my wife, or anyone with useful breasts, and bring her here so my kids can get fed."

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Valka emphasized.

"I'm here," a voice called. Astrid shoved her way through the crowd and came to a stop in front of her family. She looked like she had been out in the woods throwing axes all night. She seemed to want to just stand there and stare at him, but Hiccup ignored her regard and handed over Valka.

Astrid glared around at the crowd as she adjusted her clothing to accommodate her hungry daughter. "Seriously, all of you shut up. Mom, Gobber, Hiccup, Fishlegs, inside, and someone go get Gothi and Phlegma. The rest of you, get lost, there's work to do. I'll tell you what's going on as soon as I know." Then, when most of them were slow to obey, "GET LOST."

The little group gathered around inside the chieftain's house, Astrid still feeding Valka as Hiccup comforted Finn, trying to feed the hungry boy bits of mashed up food until it was his turn to nurse.

"Talk, Hiccup."

He did, telling them what had happened to him without revealing any information they could use to find the king's nest and hurt the flock. Hiccup often spoke in croons, his words meant for the adult listeners but his tone and eyes and expression meant for his babies.

"How many new species were there?" Fishlegs asked eagerly, pencil poised over his notebook.

"Hundreds," Hiccup cooed at Valka, who was in his lap by now as Finn took his turn to feed. "Sooooo many, I couldn't keep track."

"I really do think it had to have been a different flock altogether," Fishlegs mused. "If that's true, then what Hiccup says might have some merit. Maybe there's something wrong specifically with the Helheim's Gate flock, but other dragons actually-"

"Let's not waste time with useless speculation," Astrid said, exasperated by the way Hiccup in the flesh kept not fitting with her impressions of him when he'd still been 'dead.' She could not understand why he had no interest in pursuit or vengeance. "Hiccup, I know you're not stupid. You can tell me something, at least! What direction were you headed when it flew off with you?"

"I don't know~" Hiccup sing-songed, lifting Valka up and down and up and down as she kicked her feet and laughed. "I was too scared out of my mind~ to pay attention to directions~"

"Did the Night Fury really have retractable teeth?" Fishlegs asked eagerly.

"Yup~"

"How big was this 'king' dragon?" Phlegma asked, businesslike.

Hiccup paused, finally looking directly at the adults. "Don't even think about it. It'd be like trying to kill a mountain. You can't. Physically impossible. You can't."

Astrid snorted.

"Astrid, he is HALF THE SIZE OF BERK, and he can read minds. He'd probably sense you coming and send out troops to wipe out whatever puny fleet we could muster up to send against him. That is, if he doesn't come out himself and just bat the ships to pieces. Like a kid playing bashyball, it'd be as easy for him as that."

"You don't think much of us, do you!" Astrid said angrily. "We're Vikings! We've earned our reputation, there's no one we can't take on and win!"

Hiccup stared at her silently, disgusted, wishing there was some way for him to take his children and return to the dragon king's nest forever.

"Don't give me that look," Astrid growled.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Hiccup said in a deliberate sort of way, lifting his head in challenge. He was pretty sure she wouldn't attack him in front of witnesses whose respect she most needed, especially while she and he were both holding their children.

Astrid's fist clenched as she seemed to be visibly trying to restrain herself.

"C-Could we try, maybe, an ambush of some kind?" Fishlegs tried to intervene nervously.

"Mind-reader, Legs," Hiccup reminded him.

"Ridiculous," Phlegma scoffed. "How do we know you're not just making all this up, boy?"

"Yes, I totally planned to get carried off by a Night Fury. I have totally valid reasons for lying about something like this. What are those reasons, by the way? Do tell, since I seem to have forgotten."

The woman scowled. "You've always been mad, boy. How should I know how a child of Loki thinks?"

Hiccup gritted his teeth and curled his left hand protectively.

"This is the man who spent four years trying to take down a Night Fury," Gobber growled, "who thought he could slay dragons even though he couldn't lift a hammer or swing an axe, and who would've gone through dragon training if his father hadn't been an overprotective worrier. If he says we ought to have second thoughts about taking on this dragon king of his in battle, I think we'd be stupid not to listen."

Hiccup shot him a grateful look. Finn, fussing now that he'd finished eating, was handed back to him, and he returned most of his attention to his children.

"We ought to be focusing more on our own troubles than on Hiccup's mystery flock," Astrid's mother said. "It's the dragons of Helheim's Gate that are the problem. We can't afford to waste resources attacking an entirely different flock who mostly steer clear of us, anyway."

Gothi started drawing symbols for Gobber and Fishlegs, who leaned closer to inspect them. "She says that we should be thankful for the return of our blacksmith, and that sometimes madmen are so because of the touch of the divine on their fates," Gobber translated.

"We really do need you, Hiccup," Fishlegs said, glancing a little sheepishly at Gobber. "It was starting to get pretty bad... He's got only one arm, you know; and he's...not getting any younger..."

"It's only the truth," Gobber grumbled.

"I know, I get it," Hiccup sighed. "I exist to fix your weapons and keep house for the chief. I never said I wasn't fine with that."

There was an awkward pause.

"So," Astrid's mother concluded, "now that we have Hiccup back, it doesn't really seem to matter where he's actually been or what he's been up to all this time or how he escaped."

Fishlegs looked troubled. "We're just going to keep doing what we've always been doing...?"

"What do we tell the rest of the village?" Phlegma asked. "There's no way anyone's going to give credence to this ridiculous story of his."

"Why not?" Hiccup challenged. No one answered him, and only Gobber, Fishlegs, and Gothi even bothered to glance at him.

Astrid sighed. "We'll say that when he got carried off, the Fury got shot down midflight by...I don't know, Bogs, who held Hiccup captive for breeding stock until he managed to seduce his way to freedom."

Hiccup stared at her incredulously.

Phlegma snorted. "No one would believe that - the boy couldn't seduce his way out of a barrel of mackerel. And who'd want a runt for stud, anyway?"

"My husband has already sired a healthy son and daughter," Astrid snarled, "and is quite capable of satisfying a woman in bed when he chooses to." There was another long pause.

"Outcasts," Astrid's mother finally suggested. "He wouldn't need to seduce anyone in that version."

'It's not enough that I'm secretly a woman's bed-slave in real life,' Hiccup thought angrily, 'now I also get raped by Outcasts in my publicly announced fake escape scenario? Yes, that'll do wonders for my reputation.'

Before he could settle on a strategic way to say this, Gobber gave voice to his outrage. "You can't do that to him! He's held in low enough esteem already, a story like that would completely destroy him!"

"Meatheads," Fishlegs offered. "They used to be our closest allies before...well, you know... Maybe they let him go out of respect to- Er, the last chief. Or he talked his way out of it, or tricked them. Or something."

Everyone looked at Hiccup again, who ignored them as he played with the babies.

"The boy does have a tongue on him," Phlegma commented. "He could trick a particularly stupid guard."

There was a general noise of mild assent.

"Are we done with this little 'Hiccup is a crazy liar' session?" Hiccup said. "Because I want to get back to my real work. I've missed the forge." 'Getting to craft things the way I want them, instead of having to constantly make do with scraps...'

An official announcement was made about the cover story for Hiccup's abduction and return. Despite that, it seemed like everyone in the village kept eagerly coming up to interrogate Hiccup in the forge, and he started making a game out of feeding them increasingly wild stories. "Oh, you know, it wasn't a big deal, the Night Fury was charmed by my might and charisma...I fought my way single-handed past a hundred dragons and then paddled back home on a raft I made from driftwood...Thor himself descended from Asgard and brought me to safety..."

He still couldn't bear to let the twins out of his sight even for a moment, and Gobber, smiling and whistling cheerfully, similarly stayed close to him as well. The man didn't leave Hiccup's side until late that night after supper, when Astrid gave a meaningful look to him and her mother. "Mom, Gobber...do you think I could have some time alone with my family?"

Both of them seemed very reluctant to leave, but they eventually did so. Hiccup was oblivious, wholly absorbed by the babies, looking peaceful and content.

At last, Astrid was alone with her husband and children. She watched them for a while, Finn asleep in his cradle, Valka in Hiccup's arms, babbling cheerfully at him as he crooned and murmured back.

He was unbelievably attractive. Still as skinny as ever, but that didn't seem to matter anymore. He had taken on a new light in Astrid's eyes, as a brave man who, despite his frustrating idiosyncrasies, was strong in his own way, too strong to be overcome by an iron-willed woman, too strong for a Night Fury, too strong for death. Strong and yet incredibly tender, touching and caressing his children as if they were the most precious treasures on earth.

Astrid, watching him at that moment, wanted him intensely. She craved her slender, soft-spoken husband more than any fantasy man she had ever dreamed of in the past. "Hiccup."

"Hm?"

She approached cautiously, as if he was a not-quite-tame horse. "So..." She knelt and lightly put her arms around him. "I suppose you've been through quite an ordeal..."

"I missed them sooooo much," Hiccup sighed, nuzzling Valka's cheek like a dragon. "So much...I could have been so happy there if not for them, but knowing they were here without me made me feel like I was dying inside..."

Astrid hesitated. "You're here now."

"I'm back, precious," Hiccup whispered tenderly to his daughter. "I will never, ever leave you again."

"Hiccup...as soon as she's asleep...you'll come to bed, right?"

He looked at her, finally picking up on her longing. His eyes widened.

"I missed you," she said softly.

He swallowed. "I... You didn't...you didn't find a lover when I was...away...?"

She frowned. "No."

He was staring at her so helplessly, it was a little insulting, that he seemed to have expected her to move right on to another man the instant he was gone (as if there were even any options...). "Why not?"

She tugged him close and kissed him gently. "Because I wanted you."

He kept staring at her.

"I've always wanted you, Hiccup."

"Always?" he said dubiously.

"...Well, for a long time."

Valka stirred curiously between them.

Hiccup's breath was coming a little faster, though apparently not from desire. "N-Not...not tonight, Astrid, please..."

"What?"

He leaned away, hugging Valka. "Please. It's not you, it's me, I can't...I really don't...I can't..."

She frowned.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise," he said hurriedly. "As soon as I... I just... Please, Astrid. Not tonight."

She tried so hard to be patient and understanding. "Why not?"

"I...I'm tired."

"...Fine, then, the sex can wait. But at least come sleep with me."

He turned away, still hugging Valka as if she was a child's comforting toy.

"I just want to feel your body lying beside mine, Hiccup! I just want...I need you. I need you, Hiccup."

"I need them," he pleaded. "Just one night, Astrid. Give me one night with them, and then I'll...I'll try."

She glared at him for a minute, disappointed and frustrated, as well as baffled by the genuine fear in his eyes. Why in the world was he afraid?

He was still clutching Valka, and now had the sleeping Finn cradled in his other arm. A thought occurred to Astrid. "You don't want to have sex, or you don't want to leave the kids?"

Now he was the one who looked confused. "What?"

She took hold of his shoulders and gently tugged him to his feet and over to the bed without trying to take the children away from him.

"Wha-?" She pushed him down, and he stared at her. "I- I don't want...?"

"You can hold on to them the whole time, for all I care. But you don't mind the actual sex part, right?"

He stared at her a minute longer, then burst into a quiet peal of incredulous laughter. "You are addicted!" he realized.

"Yes," she growled, sobering him instantly. "I am." She saw the protective way he clutched the children, so she tried to soften her voice. "I hate that I am, but there's nothing I can do about it, and you're here, and...I don't care if they are, too. I don't want to force you, but...you'll let me? Like this?" She tried not to let her tone sound as desperate as she felt.

"This is ridiculous," he chuckled darkly, but then said, "Whatever. Fine."

She exhaled in relief and started tugging at his clothes.

"Wait, wait-!" As his pants were being unfastened and pulled down, he hastily set the awake baby to one side and carefully laid down the sleeping one on the other. "Okay, Finn, sshh, stay asleep," he said in the softest of whispers before turning to his daughter, who was sitting up and watching curiously. "Hey, Val, hey-" He reached for her and smiled when she grasped his arm until Astrid's ministrations snatched his attention. "Aah!"

"Aah," Valka imitated.

"Okay," Hiccup panted, "okay, this is so - acgh! - awkward-"

"Stop squirming, Hiccup," Astrid complained as she tried to [*censored becaues FFN is stupid*].

"Just give me two seconds to get the kids settled!" he exclaimed, dragging the baby back up before she could crawl over to investigate. Val protested indignantly, so he distracted her by ruffling her hair, and she took the opportunity to bite his wrist.

Hiccup had never in his life had to multitask to such an extent. The sensations [*censored becaues FFN is stupid*] and his wife's soft moans were an insistent distraction as he used one hand to muffle his own noises and the other to keep Val entertained and at bay.

She seemed fascinated by the involuntary twitching and clenching of his fingers, and shifted her bite accordingly. Hiccup knew that she was simply examining something interesting in her innocent baby way, but it still made him uneasy to let his daughter suck his fingers while he was having sex, so he gently tugged his hand free and groped toward the nightstand, looking for a substitute.

Val screeched a protest at the loss of her toy, which made Finn start to fuss a little. Hiccup comforted the sleepy baby with his arm until Finn settled a little. At the same time, struggling through the unrelenting waves of physical pleasure, he made a dragonlike sound at Valka. She seemed pleased enough with the funny sound and however his face was contorted to momentarily stop her yelling.

A few moments were all he needed. His seeking fingers finally closed on something - the candle holder. He couldn't give Val the current candle, since the wax drippings would probably break off and choke her, but it did give him the idea to reach just a little farther and grab the spare candle, which had never been lit. This he offered to Val, who seemed interested enough in the new texture of her replacement chew toy that she didn't protest its inanimate nature too much.

Astrid panted, amazed, "How can you...take care of two babies...when you're doing this...at the same time...?!"

Already stretched too thin, Hiccup didn't even try to answer.

To be continued...