Carried Off, a DreamWorks' How to Train Your Dragon fanfic by Raberba girl (rough draft)
The flight passed in a blur. Hiccup might have dozed off a bit on the Stormcutter's broad back, and though his body shivered as they traveled farther north, he couldn't actually feel the cold.
He had a distant sense of relief, even of homecoming, when he saw the great icy spikes of the dragon nest. When Cloudjumper came to a landing and set him gently on the ground, Hiccup submitted quite willingly to being greeted and fussed over by a swarm of delighted dragons.
As soon as Hiccup laid eyes on the king, he mentally flung himself at the great dragon and poured out his heart, weeping uncontrollably as he offered up "Hurts hurts hurts hurts HURTS babies my precious Finn Val sweet small mine babies babies LOST LOST LOST pain, ripping a hole in my chest tearing out my heart squeezing all the blood out of it flinging it mangled to the ground, I want to die, I hurt too much to die, hurts SO MUCH, mine my babies my Finn Val that I love so so so so so much, lost lost LOST help me crush me please help me crush me hurts so much lost forever empty pain kill me...!"
The king thought helplessly that there could be no monsters darker or more cruel than humans. He wondered if his tiny, even more broken lost flockling was even human at all, if the poor creature was somehow a person that had inexplicably been born in a monster's body.
A small black dragon came tearing through the crowd, screeching in worry and excitement. Hiccup didn't even bother to look up - he held out his arms and braced himself just before Toothless crashed into him, covering him with dragon kisses and whining and pawing at him and marking him and loving him.
"I'm yours," Hiccup whispered. "All yours now. No human will ever own me again." When he had the strength, he climbed onto the Night Fury's back, and for a few hours he left his grief behind in the racing wind and stormy skies.
o.o.o.o.o
Flying was the only thing that really helped for a while. Otherwise, Hiccup could feel the grief as if it was an invisible extra companion, draped heavily over his shoulders and firmly gripping his mind.
During that first week, he could think of nothing but his lost children, and even after that, they were never far from his thoughts. He would wake up sobbing from nightmares, or would lie awake in the dark being slowly overwhelmed by his feelings until they came bursting out of him as screams. He couldn't lie still, he would wander out of the cave, crying out over and over again in agony, startling the nocturnal dragons and awakening the diurnal ones. If no one immediately snatched him up to fly him out of his misery, he would wander the nest wailing, sometimes tearing at his own flesh, until someone did.
He ate whatever the dragons offered him without tasting it; he flew so often that he actually wore Toothless out. He often found himself on random peaks and islands, curled for comfort into a wheezing, sprawled, exhausted Night Fury.
Toothless started trading off with Cloudjumper, flying Hiccup as if they were parents taking turns soothing a colicky infant. Sometimes they would set their human on the king's head, and Hiccup would lie there dully sharing his grief with the leviathan. The great dragon was able to soothe his human flockling with a powerful, steady love as he moved about his nest on dragon business.
It was the king who roared out orders the second time Hiccup went tumbling off a ledge and nearly broke his neck. From then on, every dragon in the nest was on the alert to rescue Hiccup from his many halfhearted suicide attempts. He never consciously planned to kill himself, but whenever he accidentally fell off a dragon's back, or realized that the plant he was about to eat was poisonous, or that he had no particular reason to watch his step around deep pools of icy water...
"Get them back," the king suggested, once Hiccup recovered enough to tell him a more coherent version of his story. "You sneak to that not-yours human nest, take your precious things your babies 'Finn Val twins,' bring them here, home safe good."
Hiccup longed for such a thing with all his heart. But his imagination, unbidden, kept coming up with horrifying scenarios...being caught and killed, Toothless being caught and killed, any Sanctuary dragons who came with him being caught and killed, the twins getting caught in the crossfire and killed... "You come with me?" he asked hopefully.
"No," the king said sadly. There was a brief, confusing impression of danger that overwhelmed Hiccup, but then the king was quiet and thoughtful. "...Repel those monsters." There was a flash of human-darkness and leviathan-darkness that Hiccup couldn't make sense of and which left a bitter aftertaste of horror in his mind. "Flock is safe. Safe flock, I will go with you. But danger still lurking? No; must PROTECT my flock."
Hiccup closed his eyes in despair. Even if he somehow miraculously managed to get his children to the Sanctuary without the king's help and without any of his allies getting hurt, Astrid would inevitably track down her stolen heir, leading a horde of Viking warriors to the Sanctuary. They would be easily defeated, but how many dragons might be hurt in the process? Even if the king himself successfully fought off the invaders without a single dragon casualty...
Even after everything, Hiccup could not bring himself to do something that would result in wiping out almost an entire generation of people he had known all his life. Blood and death waited at the end of every path. Finn and Valka had more chances of surviving life in war-torn Berk than they did of making it safely to the Sanctuary. Hiccup might as well just start thinking of them as already being dead, because one way or another, he would never see them again alive.
"Lost," he thought dully. "I am dead torn worthless. Everyone else is safe. Good. Good thing; no hurting, only for me. Only me. It's good. Safe. Protect."
The mighty dragon king was not at all accustomed to feeling awe for other creatures, but he came close to it now. Despite all the ugliness it was cloaked in, he had not fathomed that such selflessness could exist in a mortal creature, much less one that thought of itself as human. "I love you so much. I love you so very much."
It was too much for Hiccup, who wept and begged to escape and hide. The king let him, bewildered and troubled as always by this sort of thing. Such purity, and yet such filth in the same heart; great light and great darkness striving against each other in the same vessel. He felt anger at those who had wounded his little flockling so deeply, yet also curiosity and that foreign sense of awe again, wondering what this creature named 'Broken' in the dragon nest and 'Hiccup' in his own strange language would have been like if he'd been allowed to grow up whole and nurtured and unthreatened.
'He would have the heart of a king and the soul of a dragon.' The alpha pondered this for a while, the idea of one of his tiny flocklings actually being a fellow sea-king. 'This is what he has now, hidden under the grief and darkness. Someday he will heal and smile at the light and find his heart and soul again.' He watched Hiccup sitting in front of Toothless, gamely trying to imitate the Night Fury's noises. 'My precious flockling that I love.'
o.o.o.o.o
The other thing that soon started to help as well were hatchlings. Hiccup adored them, petting and playing with and crooning at and feeding any who happened to wander into his path. Perhaps this was why he soon found himself baby-sitting rather often. Dragons would walk up to him, give him a cheerful greeting, growl sternly at their offspring, then walk or fly away, and the hatchlings would eagerly swarm around Hiccup until, usually a few hours later, they would be collected again by their parents.
"Soooo, what, is this my job now? Am I officially hired?" he teased a dragon, who cocked her head in confusion at him. "Are you going to pay me in vomit-fish or something? Sorry, but that that currency is not acceptable~ What else've you got to trade?"
Despite the teasing, Hiccup loved it. Caring for babies, any babies, helped ease the pain he felt at no longer being able to care for his own. Toothless had a low tolerance for the little ones' antics, but Hiccup was endlessly patient with them and Cloudjumper seemed to enjoy the work as well, serving as Hiccup's partner and translator. (Though lacking the king's mind-reading abilities, the Stormcutter still seemed to understand humans better than any other dragon in the nest.)
Even outside his new 'job,' Hiccup started often waking up to find hatchlings snuggled into him. He learned to identify the babies' families so that he could obligingly return all the wayward children who sought him out. "Delivery for Cloverfoot! I believe these belong to you, ma'am: one male hatchling with three spots and one female hatchling with previously chipped horn, delivered promptly and in good condition. No need to thank me, ma'am! I'm just glad to be of service~"
One female hatchling in particular seemed to adopt Hiccup. She hovered over him in a motherly way, comforting him whenever he thought too strongly of what he had lost and scolding any of the other young dragons who were too rough with Hiccup or tried to steal from him. He named her Hen and accidentally taught her how to cluck like her namesake.
One evening, Hiccup noticed a mother Scuttleclaw who lay in her nest, sprawled wearily across her eggs rather than sitting on them properly. Her scales were an unhealthy pale color, and there was mucus leaking from her nose and crusted around her eyes. "Ohhh, poor mama, what's wrong...?" Hiccup cleaned her up as gently as he could, did his best to feed her, and stayed with her all night, but when he woke up in the morning, he discovered that the sick dragon was no longer breathing. Her expression in death was peaceful.
The dragons mourned their lost flockmate, after which there was the matter of who ought to adopt her two orphaned eggs. The dragon's mate had died from an injury weeks earlier, and she was too new to the nest to have yet found a close enough companion who would have automatically taken charge of her offspring.
Hiccup, oblivious to the discussion, was the first one to bury the eggs in embers and ash to simulate a parent dragon's warmth. By the time he'd been caring for the eggs for three days, it had been agreed that, human though he was, he would be permitted to display his competency as a replacement mother. Toothless, jealous and with no natural fondness for babies, was displeased at the prospect of becoming a father to eggs he hadn't even sired, though Cloudjumper was delighted.
"You be their papa, not me," Toothless insisted.
Cloudjumper expressed exasperation with the younger dragon's immaturity. "Half's Child is their mama; you are his other half, I am his friend. He belongs to you more, so you are papa to his hatchlings, not me."
"I do not like babiiiiieeesss, annoying loud take take take no give, I am JEALOUS! My human that I love! Not theirs; mine!"
"Ours," Cloudjumper said firmly. "Our human that we love, me and you and Alpha and many flockmates that love this broken gentle not-monster human!"
"ME MOST!"
"You most. But still ours."
Toothless pouted and twined himself possessively around Hiccup. "Mine mine mine mine mine."
"Move, Toothless, I'm trying to roll this thing over. You're gonna make me burn my hands."
"Mine! Half Of Me loves me?!" Toothless insisted anxiously.
Hiccup grinned, then suddenly threw his arms around Toothless and squeezed. The Night Fury's eyes widened, but he had almost gotten used to the bizarre human gesture of affection by now. "You want some love, Mr. Jealous? You want some cuddles, huh~?"
"Mine," Toothless huffed, darting out his tongue to lick the back of Hiccup's head.
o.o.o.o.o
"No Teeth," the king mused during one of their learning-more-about-each-other's-species conversations, "'Toothless.' One Who Has No Teeth. This silly name is your name for your other half?"
"Discomfort."
"Your friend/brother," the king amended, not sure why Hiccup insisted on using a different 'word' for the same thing, but gamely humoring him.
"'Toothless' is..." Hiccup had to think about it for a while before he could articulate it. "...Scary scary scary monster dragon hurt me kill me HURT ME. Scared. Dragon not hurting me, not hurting me, scared angry, call this thing, no teeth? 'Toothless.' Silly name. Silly name for scary monster...'Toothless,' amusement feel better. ...Little bit not scary anymore."
"Ah." The king understood what he was saying, but it didn't feel true, at least not anymore. "Sound-name is 'Toothless,' BUT. 'Toothless' means 'no teeth,' BUT, does not mean that anymore - same sound, same, but means something different now. You say 'Toothless,' now means friend/brother. Not 'no teeth.'"
"Huh...huh. I guess you're right," Hiccup mused aloud.
"Same with Valka and Fourwing Cloudjumper. She says 'Cloudjumper,' always always 'Cloudjumper,' meant 'one who leaps over clouds' at first but not anymore, now means 'other half of me that I love.' Same sound, different meaning."
"Same for me, too," Hiccup realized. "'Hiccup' means-" He imagined himself hiccupping, and winced at an overwhelming burst of amusement from the king.
"HICCUPS? 'Hiccup' means HAVE HICCUPS? Very much silly name!"
"Yes. Strange name scare away monsters."
"Ha ha ha ha! I love not-monster humans, so strange and crazy and interesting. Have hiccups. More silly name than even 'no teeth.'"
"Yes."
The king turned thoughtful. "Same with Valka your mother. Always, always she thinks 'Hiccup,' but does not mean have hiccups. Means 'baby tiny small child that I love miss love worry fear love.'"
"What is your name?" Hiccup asked curiously.
The king had no idea how to answer this question, at least not the way his adorably strange little flockling was asking it. "I am ALPHA."
Hiccup winced again, touching a hand to his head.
"Your human word is 'king,' yes?"
"Yes... But your name! You are born, your mother calls you something; what is it?"
The memory was so far away that the king had to think a long time before he could recall it. "Dam's name for me was Larger, because my clutchmate was smaller than me."
"?! You think my name is silly; yes but your name silly too! That can't be your name, you must have a much better name than 'Larger'!"
The king was glad that he had already been through this with Valka, otherwise he would have been very perplexed. "Different, Hiccup. I am dragon, you are human. You are 'Hiccup' ALWAYS. No dragon has a name ALWAYS, that is very strange. I am me. You are you. Your friend/brother is himself. That is enough. But you silly interesting humans can't smell, so you make these sound-names to call each other instead."
"You don't have permanent names?!" Hiccup was astonished.
"It's different, Hiccup," the king said kindly. "Dragon names are good; human names are good. Different but still good."
"Yeah...?"
"Interesting, so very much INTERESTING, I love these not-monster humans..."
o.o.o.o.o
One night, Hiccup was frightened awake by a loud bang. "What was that?! What happened?!" There was a weak cheeping sound in the darkness, and he got the impression of many dragons watching intently, though keeping their distance for some reason. Cloudjumper kept insistently poking him in the back.
Then Hiccup saw the fiery outline of eggshell cracks, realized what was happening from previous hatchings, and dove for cover. A few moments after the explosion, a second set of confused, hungry cheeps joined the first.
Hiccup crept out from behind Cloudjumper, his chest tight with excitement, accidentally crunching eggshell fragments as he moved. He gently took hold of the first newborn, a male, and tugged it into his lap; then he gathered up the female as well. He crooned at them, petting them, thinking that he should clean the birth slime off of them, but unwilling to leave them long enough to do so. He ended up pulling off his tunic and using that to sponge off the worst of the goo.
After several minutes of this, Toothless marched up, unceremoniously vomited up some fish, then plopped down at Hiccup's side in a distinctly pouting way. Both hatchlings tumbled out of Hiccup's lap and started eagerly eating the fish. "Thanks for that, buddy," Hiccup said, patting a somewhat mollified Toothless. "Good call." He took the opportunity to go fetch some cloths and a bucket of water.
Hiccup named the male hatchling Finn, and the female Valka. He knew he was never going to see the children of his flesh and blood again, so it helped to ease the still raw wound in his heart that he now had a new set of twins who were all his own.
Hours later, the hatchlings had been cleaned, fed some more, and caressed, as well as thoroughly scent-marked by their adoptive father and four-winged guardian (to make up for the deficiencies in their human mother's much vaguer scents. Hen, who had been enthusiastically doing a lot of the cleaning and playing, managed to slip in some marks of her own). The babies curled up against their mother's soft belly and quickly fell asleep.
"I love you, Finn," Hiccup murmured, shifting so he could encircle them with his arms. "I love you, Val." He smiled when Toothless lay down behind him, draped a foreleg over him, and curled his long tail around him. "You make a comfy pillow, Toothless, did you know that?" Hen bustled up to nuzzle the younger hatchlings one last time, then snuggled against Hiccup's hair. Hiccup gently pushed her paws out of his face and fell asleep safe within the boundaries of his icy home, watched over by his mother's four-winged companion, embraced by his own companion and his young dragon sister, with his children nestled in his arms. It was the first time in a long time that he felt at peace.
To be continued...
Author's Notes: Hen is one of those characters who came out of nowhere; I did not plan her at all. XD