**To prevent some confusion, this chapter is from Evil!Merlin's point of view, and set in Good!Merlin's world. **
It did not take long before the young warlock fell asleep, sleeping more deeply than he had in a long while.
And then the visions returned.
"Gaius!" A familiar voice shouted from the side, rapid footsteps rushing forwards, accompanied by metallic footsteps as well. "Guinevere! Get away!" barked the old man, his voice strained, each word clearly shooting a wave of pain through his body. Merlin's head turned, eyes now laid upon Guinevere and the knights that were escorting her as the came to a halt. "If it isn't the Queen.."
Guinevere's facial expression was filled with confusion and shock. The knights that had accompanied her shuffled in front of her, keeping their weapons raised defensively. Word must've reached her about what he had done, for it seemed that way from her facial expression.
"Where's Arthur, Gwen?" Merlin questioned, rising fully up to his feet and straightening himself up, his gaze now set firmly upon the woman that stood before him.
"I don't understand, Merlin.. Arthur's not here, he was with you, headed for Lake Avalon." Guinevere let out in response. He furrowed his brows in response to that. He had been at Lake Avalon, though there had been no Arthur there, only a dead Morgana not too far away from the lake.
"I understand that you love him, Gwen, but if you protect him.." He paused "I don't want this any more than you, but his actions left me with no choice" he stated, his brows remaining furrowed and his expression much darker than it usually was.
"I am telling you the truth, Merlin. You were bringing him to The Lake of Avalon after he was injured at the battle of Camlann. You were trying to save him.. Gaius told me of his condition, about the fragment from the blade, traveling towards his heart.. If he's not with you, then.. Then I fear that he is no longer with us.." Guinevere let out, seeming to fight back the tears that threatened to appear.
"I don't understand.." He begun, hesitant to accept what Guinevere had just said. "What battle? And why would I be helping him, after all that he has done? You are speaking nonsense, Gwen. There was never a battle of Camlann" He objected, confusion appearing in his heart, where it blended together with the anger and hatred that he had felt as he marched upon Camelot. It dulled the two negative emotions somewhat, as the sincerity of Guinevere's voice made him uncertain.
"Merlin.. The battle of Camlann, you must remember.. Morgana led her army towards Camelot, so we rode out to meet her before she could reach the citadel. I know what you did for us, Merlin, at the battle.. I know that you used magic to help us.. The battle would have been lost if not for you.. I don't understand why you are doing this.. This is not like you.. What happened, Merlin?" Guinevere choked out in response.
He felt his facial expression darken even further.
"Morgana? She would never do anything to harm Camelot, she adored this place. She made me promise to leave Camelot be, she promised that she would do everything in her power to make sure that the Sanctuary and Camelot could co-exist.. How dare you accuse her of something like that? Arthur brought this upon himself when he slaughtered her, and now he is hiding in Camelot like a coward, refusing to face punishment for his sins" He barked out in response at Guinevere's statement, anger boiling in his chest once again.
"Sanctuary.. Slaughtered.. Sins?" Guinevere spoke in utter confusion.
"He.. is not.. the Merlin we know.." Gaius managed to press forth with a weak voice, having been conscious enough to listen to the ongoing exchange between the two. He still seemed to be in a great deal of pain, straining for each breath he drew. Seeing the old physician like that caused a guilty feeling to wash over the young warlock, for even if he had betrayed his own kind, like he had betrayed his mother, he had still been like a father to him, at one point. Even with his cowardly nature, Gaius wouldn't lie to him, not even now.. Nor would Guinevere.
And then it struck him like a hammer. They truly did not know what he was talking about. Guinevere and Gaius wouldn't feign ignorance at what Arthur had done, whether or not they believed his actions to be right or wrong. They seemed convinced that a battle had taken place at Camlann, and that he had been their friend and ally. They all seemed convinced that Morgana had been an enemy of Camelot, and from the sounds of it, it didn't seem like she had been in Camelot for a long while. And it didn't seem like they knew of the sanctuary..
The way he had been let into Camelot with open arms.. He hadn't offered it much thought in his rage.. The way the knights hadn't tried to strike him down immediately, not to mention the confusion that he has seen on their faces.. They hadn't expected him to strike them down and they hadn't been prepared for his magic.
"You.. don't know?" He pressed forth as he felt all color disappear from his face, a sinking feeling in his gut as the reality of what he had done begun to hit him. "What of Morgause? She's at the Sanctuary, keeping an eye on the place whilst I'm gone.. You must know what I am talking about! You can't pretend like you don't!" He let out, instinctively taking a step back from Gaius and Guinevere both.
"Morgause?"Guinevere responded, sounding confused at his question.
"Morgause.. is gone.. died.. long time ago.." Gaius strained forth once again. He seemed to be struggling more and more for each passing minute. He feared briefly for the man's life, that he may pass away due to his injuries. The fear was quickly replaced with an unexplainable blur of emotions.
"And.. what of my mother? She was executed, because Uther found out about my magic, right?" He questioned, grasping for straws, for anything to be as he remembered.
"What? No! That never happened, and even if it had, Arthur would never have allowed it. You mother is alive and well. She's still in Ealdor." Guinevere revealed.
He found himself going numb. Were they lying to him? If they were, then this was all twisted and evil, but if they weren't.. Oh god, if they weren't lying, then what had he done? All those people that he had harmed in his rage.. The things he had done to Gaius.. He didn't want to think about it, he needed to find something to justify what he had done, something that would make his actions right.. This Arthur must have hated magic as intensely as the Arthur he knew.
"What about Arthur? He.. He has been persecuting magic just as his father, has he not? He has been hunting sorcerers and druids alike, burning them at the pyre, even only for the suspicion of magic, right?" He questioned in desperation, desperately needing this to be true, or else he couldn't bear the thought of what he had done.
"Arthur had not persecuted druids for a long time. He didn't persecute Sorcerers to the same extent as his father, but it is true that Magic was and still is outlawed.."Guinevere cautiously stated. That wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to justify what he had done.. If what Guinevere said was true, then this Arthur was more lenient towards magic.. He didn't even persecute the druids any longer, if this was true.
He took another step backwards, staring at Guinevere and Gaius both with wide eyes. "You are lying.. You are just trying to mess with my head.. I don't believe you.." He practically shouted. 'What have I done? What have I done?!' were the thoughts that rushed through his head. He needed to know if they were telling the truth or not.. He needed to confirm that they were lying, that what they were saying was false, that he had done the only right thing..
He needed to leave.. He needed to go to the Sanctuary, and he needed to travel to Ealdor. He begged to the gods that none of what they had said was true, but their faces and their voices. They all seemed so sincere.
He took several steps away, his gaze landing on Gaius ever so briefly, before he turned around, heading away from Guinevere and Gaius both, sprinting down the hallway. He needed Morgause, he needed her to set his thoughts straight, to help him work through everything. He needed her support and her counsel. He needed a friend, and someone he could trust.
Merlin awoke as the sun shone through the window, the light hitting him straight in the face. He had slept until the next morning. The emotions of the other Merlin stuck with him for quite a while after waking up. It felt as if he had actually been there himself, that he himself had just experienced everything that had happened. Before, the visions had felt distant, like dreaming, or like reading a book. But this time, it had felt real. It had felt like it had been him, he had felt what his counterpart had felt, he had shared the same thoughts and reasoning. He couldn't help but to feel pity and understanding at the situation his counterpart was in, but he could never accept what his counterpart had done, and he could never accept all the pain he had brought upon Camelot.
His home hadn't been destroyed, but lives had been lost, and Gaius' condition greatly worried him. He feared that the old man may die from his injuries, and the thought of losing him was almost unbearable. Guinevere was safe, but he did not know what would happen to Gaius and the injured knights. He felt relieved, yet frustrated at the fact that there was nothing he could do to help them. All he could do was watch, and he hated that.