Toby stayed next to Nico, half way through the night Masky came to sit with him. They didn't say much but it was nice to not feel alone. Nico's face stayed blank; it was the first time Toby had seen him sleep without his eyes moving under his lids and his face moving a little because of some dream or another. If it weren't for the shallow rise and fall of Nico's chest and the small wheeze his breathing made, he would have looked dead.

Toby pressed close to Nico, trying to lend his warmth to Nico's unnaturally cold body. He should have noticed that even when Nico said he was feeling better his temperature never got to a normal level. He hadn't felt properly warm since the second shadow jump. He should have noticed and made Nico rest more. Nico had said they would look after each other, how could Toby have done such a bad job of looking after Nico.

Reyna came in very early in the morning, maybe five a.m. and she brought two bottles with her. She put them down on the bedside table and pressed her hand against Nico's cheek gently. When she concluded she wouldn't go through him she nodded slightly.

"Sit him up for me will you Toby? He'll get better faster if we manage to get some unicorn draught and nectar into him." She asked and Toby nodded. Masky watched on with interest as Toby propped Nico up against his own chest. Reyna slid her hand behind Nico's head and tilted it back a lit before carefully pouring a little unicorn draught into his mouth. They both watched carefully to make sure he swallowed then Reyna gave him a little more.

Slowly darkness began to seep from Nico's skin. Toby usually couldn't feel temperatures to well he had hardly realized that that meant the cold radiating from Nico couldn't just be a physical kind. Now he realized it because the places the darkness touched him his skin pimpled with goose bumps, a reaction his body had never once had before. He stared at them curiously for a moment then shrugged it off, turning his attention back to Nico.

Reyna only stopped carefully making him drink the unicorn draught when the darkness stopped seeping out of Nico's pores. Then she put the bottle back on the nightstand and grabbed the bottle that looked like it was full of apple juice. Toby had learned better. Reyna was even more careful with this one, and after a few swallows Nico started to feel a little less cold.

Reyna poured a little more into Nico's mouth, a little to much. Nico chocked a little and coughed, quickly Toby pushed Nico forward a little so the liquid could fall out of his mouth instead of chocking him farther. He felt some of it hit his arm and watched in amusement as his skin started to turn red and then blister where it had landed.

"Idiot!" Reyna snapped using the hem of her shirt to clean off the nectar.

"What just happened?" Masky asked getting up from his chair and wandering over to see. His eyes widened when he saw the, fairly bad, burn on Toby's arm.

"Some of the nectar got spilled on him." Reyna snapped, still sounding annoyed. "Go wash it off Toby. Honestly we've told you it burns mortals."

"I don't want to go." Toby protested. "I can't feel it anyway." Reyna gave him a stern look that reminded Toby too much of his sister, he flinched back a little.

"I couldn't get all the residue off with my shirt. As long as it's on your skin it'll keep burning. I don't care if you can't feel it, it's still damaging. Go wash it." She shifted Nico so he was leaning limply against her instead. Masky pulled Toby away before he could protest more.

"She's right, your arm is literally smoking. Let's go." Masky said leading him out of the room. Toby followed unhappily. "Ghost really wasn't kidding about it burning mortals huh?"

"No." Toby sighed. "I already knew that. After Nico got shot he used some of it to clean the wound. It literally smoked, I think it burned up all the little things in the cut that weren't 'of godly origin'." Toby explained as they got to the washroom and Masky started to wash the burn for Toby. It was better for someone else to look after Toby's injuries when it was possible because Toby could never be gentle enough with them.

"Then you really should have been more careful." Masky scolded half heartedly.

"It's not easy when I can't feel anything." Toby objected. "I don't have the same consequences as everyone else for not being careful, so I never learn."

"Well you need to learn Toby." Masky snapped scowling at him. "Think about it. You hold your own arms so hard you bruise them all the time. You can't feel it so it's fine but what if you accidentally hold Nico that hard? He can feel pain and you'll hurt him, even if it's by accident. You need to learn to be gentle for his sake."

"Oh." Toby said. He couldn't think of anything else to say. He remembered after Jay had punched Nico, Toby had grabbed Nico's arms and Nico had told him it hurt. Nico hadn't mentioned it since then, but how many other times had Toby held Nico too tight or touched him to roughly? "I'll work on it." Toby promised and Masky nodded approvingly.

"Good. I think that's clean enough. You can go back to him, I'll bring breakfast up to you." Masky said letting go of Toby's arm.

"Thanks." Toby slipped away and hurried back to Nico. He knew Nico probably wouldn't wake up for a while still but he wanted to be there just in case. When he got back he found that Reyna had opened the curtains wide so the sunlight spilled into the room.

"The shadows aren't good for him right now." She commented to Toby and he nodded. "It's a nice day. Maybe later we should take him outside so he can be in the full sun. It seemed to help before."

"We should ask E.J. when he comes in to check on Nico. After all Nico was kinda becoming shadows and shadows disappear in sun. It seems fine now but we don't want to accidentally make things worse." Toby suggested and Reyna's eyes widened, apparently she hadn't thought of that. "Maybe you should go check on Hedge?" Toby suggested after a minute of quiet. "There's a lot of trouble he could get into here and I haven't seen him yet."

"Good idea." Reyna sighed standing up. "Honestly how that goat was supposed to be a chaperone I have no clue. He's the one who needs watching." Toby watched her leave then dug through his bag for his pills. His watch was telling him it was time to take them and he still felt self conscious about taking them in front of strangers. It was just that there were so many of them and even though half of them were just supplements to make sure he could heal properly he was pretty sure it looked bad.

Toby swallowed his pills with a grimace, they tasted bitter and they often got stuck in his throat. Masky showed up and handed Toby a egg sandwich at about the same time that E,J. came to check on Nico. Toby ate as he watched E.J. examine Nico closely. He seemed relieved, that was a good sign.

"He's healing well." E.J. decided straightening up. "He's still weak of course, and still malnourished but he just needs time. I'll work out a proper dietary plan for him for when he wakes up." Toby breathed a sigh of relief. If it was time to start worrying about Nico's recovery in the future it meant he was in no immediate danger.

"Reyna was wondering if it might be a good idea to take Nico outside so he could be in the sun. It might chase some more of the shadows away, if they're not so attached to him that they take him with them?" Toby put in before E.J. could leave again.

"That sounds like a good idea." He agreed pausing. "I don't think it would endanger him at this point. Although I recommend someone with steadier hands carry him."

"Okay." Toby agreed, he knew that was E.J. subtly warning him not to do it and he could accept that.

"I'll carry him." Masky offered from the corner he had retreated to.

"I'll tell his friends where you've taken him. I believe I need to apologize to the goat anyway." E.J. said and then left. Masky came out of the corner and picked Nico up carefully. They decided to go to the shore of the pond because Toby could remember Nico mentioning that it had become a bit of a happy place for him.

They settled Nico in the grass and sat down on either side of him. Toby started telling Masky about the trip, after all a lot had happened. Half way through the story Reyna, Hedge and E.J. showed up. E.J brought a couple pillows so they could prop Nico up and the I.V. because he said Nico shouldn't be detached from it for to long.

"You can tell me the rest of your story later okay Toby?" Masky said. Now there were more people here he wanted to be somewhere else. Toby understood. E.J. took the spot on the other side of Nico once Nico was propt up and hooked to the I.V., Hedge started snacking on the grass and Reyna floated dandelion heads she picked on the water.

"Tell me more about Nico's condition." E.J. prompted Toby after a moment.

"Well you know his physical condition." Toby started, he could tell Reyna was listening intently even though she wasn't looking at them. "He's been having nightmares and flashbacks to Tartarus. One of the first nights I was back with him I saw him have a panic attack for the first time and I don't think it was a 'just once' sort of thing.

"He's been having phantom pains in his throat to. He says there can't be any actual damage there but it still hurts almost all the time, it's been making it hard for him to eat. He says he sometimes he can't believe he's out of Tartarus because nothing good could exist after something so bad." Toby explained and E.J. nodded frowning. Reynas face had become pinched and drawn.

"PTSD?" She asked E.J. and E.J nodded.

"It certainly sounds like it. Though I know nothing of this Tartarus place Nico went." E.J. allowed.

"It's supposed to be to horrible to imagine." Reyna replied shortly looking at Nico unhappily. "But we don't know anything about it because Nico's the first person to ever live through it and he doesn't like to talk about it. Maybe Percy and Annabeth-"

"No they won't know what he saw." Toby cut her off. "Nico explained it to me. There's a thing there called the blood mist that's like the regular mist here except instead of hiding things, it makes them look… 'only as horrible as a person can comprehend'? I think that was what Nico said at least. I don't really understand. But because he's a child of Hades the blood mist doesn't work on him. Percy and Annabeth saw just saw what they could understand. Nico saw the way it really was.

"Maybe we should ask Seed Eater? If their both willing maybe she could get into his flash backy dreams and tell us what he sees."

"I don't think that Nico would do that." Reyna said shaking her head. "Remember the way he apologized when I accidentally felt his pain? That was the worst pain I've ever felt I don't think he would let anyone into the memories of the things that caused it just in case they experienced that too."

"You've felt his pain?" E.J. asked turning to her. "What was it like."

"It was mostly loneliness." Reyna admitted. "Having no one who really understands what he's been through. I think since he got out of Tartarus he's been holding us all at a distance because he feels like a sinking ship and he doesn't want to drag us down with him.. I don't know, there was a lot of fear too but I didn't see where that came from."

"Maybe of being rejected?" Toby put in. "He's always scared about that. Or he's told me he's afraid that, cos he dreams about Tartarus almost every night, this is the dream and he's really still in Tartarus. He's scared he's just gone crazy and all of this is a dream he's made up."

"Maybe that's it." Reyna agreed nodding. "Other then that there was this sort of, aching hollowness and a burning that I'm guessing is the phantom pain since there's a lot of fire and acid in Tartarus from what I've heard."

"PTSD." E.J. sighed rubbing face and smearing the black gunk that was always coming out of his eyes. "I'll have to find a medication for him I suppose. Though I'm guessing he'll resist taking them."

"Like you're one to talk." Toby scoffed. "You're supposed to take painkillers for your eyes but you almost never do." E.J. just scowled at him.

"I don't want to dull the pain I want to actually get rid of this infection! I can't understand why none of the antibiotics seem to do anything!" E.J. snapped.

"It's really bad today isn't it? Yesterday too, you're usually not this short tempered." Toby asked softly. E.J. opened his mouth to snap something back, then he sighed and seemed to deflate.

"Yes it is." E.J. admitted rubbing his face again. "It's fucking itchy too but of course they're open wounds so I can't scratch them without it hurting like hell."

"Go take your painkillers you idiot." Toby sighed. "For the sake of everyone around you who you snap at." E.J. scowled grumpily but he did get up and trudge away.

"So he's medicated, you're medicated, Nico's going to be medicated. Are you all medicated?" Reyna asked but she didn't sound judgmental, just curious.

"Hmmph all those chemicals can not be good for you. Some good old fashioned nature magic and exercise would do you more good." Hedge put in.

"Hedge shut up." Toby snapped. "Too many people have already said things like that to me and I'm sick of it. I don't know what nature magic can do but exercise and herbal remedies don't cure the things we're medicated for. Not my ADD and schizophrenia, not Jane, Jeff and E.J's chronic pain, not Masky's personality disorder, Hoody's anxiety or Clockwork and Bloody Painters depression!

"Those sort of cures are for some poor healthy baby who's having a bad day! Not for people like us who are to broken to fucking fix. Even the pills just stick a Band-Aid over a open wound. It makes them less obvious and less painful but no less there and like E.J.'s eyes they are never going to heal no mater how many bandages we put over them or pills we take. Especially not if we exercise." Toby wanted to run, but that would have meant leaving Nico, so he just curled up into a ball and put his head on his knees trying to suppress the rising panic attack.

"Are you going to be okay?" Reyna asked softly. It seemed that Hedge had been silenced by Toby's outburst.

"I've been to busy to listen to the voices in my head the past few days." Toby laughed slightly hysterically. "Now that things are calm for a moment they all want me to listen to them. They're yelling at me I can't-" Toby had started rocking slightly. "Shut up shut up shut up." He ordered desperately hitting the side of his head with his palm with each would then fisting his hands in his own hair. He couldn't even tell what half of them were saying none of it made sense.

Some of them wanted him to die, some were saying Nico was going to die, some were telling him to kill everyone else. For whatever reason one of them was making bird noises. Someone touched him and he recoiled instantly. He didn't dare open his eyes to see what it was, probably something awful, he sobbed hoarsely. Someone was trying to talk to him but he couldn't hear what they were trying to say over the ruckus in his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry." Toby whimpered softly. He wasn't sure what he was apologizing for but he must have done something wrong for this to happen. It was like his father had always said, Toby had just been born wrong. As if on cue he was shoved into memories of his father, intrusive thoughts he couldn't get rid of. Every time he turned away from one he ran straight into another.

"Toby?" One voice cut through the noise and pictures in Toby's head. Everything fell still and quite. "Toby you're going to be okay." Nico promised, Toby took a shaky breath, Nico was asleep, this must be part of the hallucination. He opened his eyes and glanced up, Nico was smiling at him gently, eyes half lidded, still half asleep by the looks of things. "You're going to be okay." Nico promised again reaching out to Toby.

Toby took Nico's hand shakily and then lay down next to him resting his head on Nico's chest. Nico closed his eyes again and started to stroke Toby's hair as Toby cried. But the voices were quitter now, Toby focused on Nico, trying to breathe with him just like he had told Nico to do when woke up panicking after nightmares. When Nico's hand stilled on the back of Toby's head Toby knew he's fallen asleep again but that was alright, he was feeling better and Nico needed to sleep.

When he was calm he sat up fully and wiped his tears away on his sleeve, sniffled and wiped his nose as well. He looked around and saw that both Hedge and Reyna were staring at him looking a little shell-shocked.

"Sorry about that. But for the record, that's when I am medicated." He sighed and looked down at Nico again. His face looked peaceful, less dead then before and more asleep.

"I'm sorry." Hedge blurted suddenly and Toby looked up, surprised.

"It wasn't your fault." Toby after considering for a moment. "I have attacks like that sometimes. It just happens. If my anger at you hadn't triggered one now something else would have. Probably better that it was sooner rather than later. I'm just glad Nico woke up so I could get out of it sooner rather than later, sometimes they last for hours, sometimes more then a day if no ones around who can get me out of it."

"Who can get you out of it?" Reyna asked curiously. "So if it happens again, we know who to get."

"My mother and my sister used to be able to." Toby said with a shrug. "Now it's basically just Nico and Slenderman. I don't even hear the other proxies when I'm like that. I don't know how it works." He started stroking Nico's hair, more for his own comfort than Nico's watching curls flatten and then spring back up soothed him for whatever reason. "At least now we know he's going to be okay."

"Did you mean what you said about him feeling like a sinking ship?" Toby asked after a little bit, glancing over at Reyna. She seemed mildly taken aback by the abrupt change of subject but she went with it.

"Yes I did. He's never said anything of the sort to me but I think that's part of what I've felt from him." She confirmed.

"Well he doesn't need to worry about me." Toby chuckled. "I've been taking on water for years."

A/N

Okay random reminder that I do one shots for this world as well and they can be found in Nico and the Creepypasta Oneshots. And I've started doing one shots for slenderverse as well so go check those out if you like one shots.

Thanks to XxGh0stCatxX for editing this for me.