Falling Away

Chapter 1

By Voodoo Queen

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Author's Note: Hello, Dear Readers! Long time, no update! I hope you're all doing fabulously this lovely day. I finally got around to finishing this up. This chapter has been sitting lonely on my iPad for MONTHS! I'm so ashamed! Laziness aside, I'd like to take a moment to thank those who've read this fic and added it to their alerts and faves. Extra special thanks to those who read and reviewed the last chapter many moons ago: himelove22, Bloodwitch Raven, and the always fantastic adelphe24. You guys rock!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than my own original characters and my measly, little plot. All the good stuff belongs to their respective copyright holders.

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Kolyat exited the rapid transit vehicle and stood uncertainly in front of the large library. He still wasn't entirely sure this had been a good idea and seriously considered simply climbing back into the car and going back home much as he had entertained the notion when he had first ventured out to visit the temple. He didn't like being outside of his comfort zone. It had been almost a week since the young woman, Amanda, had extended an open invitation to meet up and chat sometime, perhaps have lunch. He'd given her an open-ended answer, fairly certain that he wouldn't be venturing out to her corner of the Citadel again, but found that he couldn't quite put it out of his mind. If he were honest with himself, it was kind of nice to have something somewhat positive to obsess over for once, regardless of whether or not anything ever came from it.

Shaking off the flare of anxiety that had sparked to life in his gut, he decided it wouldn't hurt to at least venture into the library and have a look around. He rationalized that he may even find something else of interest to read since he was nearly done with Maurtus' C-Sec manual. At some point, he absently considered as he climbed the steps to the building and pushed his way through the doors, he would need to discreetly return the turian's property to his mess of a desk. That, however, was a problem for another day and he filed the issue away to the back of his mind for the time being. Instead, he focused on the conundrum before him. He hadn't realized so many different genres of written works existed and didn't even know where to start looking for his query. There were libraries on Kahje, certainly, but the reading stock was typically either of the Hanar or drell variety.

He studied the library's directory carefully. It was well organized, he'd give it that. Books were divided into the normal categories one would expect: audience age group, fiction, nonfiction, and reference. Those categories were then broken down by subject and author, then by the author's species, then by actual written or digital medium, and so on and so forth. His quick, dark eyes seemed to immediately seek out the section referencing architecture and engineering all on their own. Taking note of where it was located, he closed down the directory terminal and considered his options. If she was anywhere, he figured she'd be in that section. But, who was to say she'd even be here at all? It seemed a moot point, though, seeing as to how he was already moving in the direction of the indicated section of books regardless of her presence or not.

It was quiet, as libraries tended to be. A few people of varying species were scattered around the reference area either relaxing in plush arm chairs reading or slumped over heavy wooden tables and immersed in study. None were in the least bit familiar to him, however. He felt a bubble of disappointment replace his anxiousness even as he continued to meander his way through the rows of shelves housing both actual books and data pads. He heaved a sigh. He knew he shouldn't have bothered coming out this way. It had been a pointless trip and a complete waste of his time. Not that he had any pressing issues to attend to or anything of the sort, but still. He shook his head, about to turn and leave, perhaps wander over to the fiction section and grab a book or two before hopping back on the rapid transit to go back to his apartment, when a figure on the very edge of his peripheral vision caught his eye.

She was in the very back corner of the section, a small stack of architecture books and assorted data pads within arms reach while others were scattered hap-hazardously across the table top, diligently drawing away on the data pad he'd seen her with the last time, with a contented look on her face. She was seated at a smaller table in front of a large window. The artificial light from outside streamed in around her creating an almost halo-like aura around her petite figure and made her seem to almost glow. She seemed pleasantly absorbed in whatever she was doing and Kolyat found himself loathe to interrupt her. He simply watched her, somewhat stuck by the vision she made. He hadn't ever really taken the time to actually look at her the few times they'd spoken, absorbed in his own problems as he was. But...looking never hurt anyone, he supposed, and so he did.

He observed the way that she had her brownish-red hair twisted into a knot at the back of her slender neck, the way the tip of her pink tongue would peek out from between her, glossy lips as she worked, the way the smooth skin between her brows would wrinkle ever so minutely in appraisal when she leaned back from the table just a bit to admire her work before a slight smile of satisfaction would tug at the corners of her mouth and she would settle back into her project once more. Humans were strange, odd looking, he thought to himself. There was a peaceful calm about this particular one at the moment, however, that made her beautiful...almost angelic. Kolyat frowned to himself at that thought.

She wasn't beautiful, he scolded himself. She wasn't anywhere near beautiful. No. At least, not in the sense that he could appreciate a female of his own species. If he held her to those standards she wasn't even in the least bit appealing as she lacked scales and frills, was covered in that strange, downy hair, and had those even stranger appendages on her chest that humans used to nurse their young. Humans were weird. By extension, she was weird. It was all just a trick of the light making his sensitive eyes see things that weren't really there. He didn't even really know her.

She seemed...kind...though. Friendly, despite his initial attitude towards her. That had to count for something, right? That much he was willing to concede to her despite the fact that the last thing he'd been looking for on the Citadel was a friend. It seemed, however, that he may have inadvertently found one despite himself if he believed Maurtus' previous assessment of the situation. No, he had to remind himself again as his gaze drifted over her appreciatively as he contemplated her, she wasn't in the least bit attractive. She was just some friendly human girl he had the misfortune of bumping into every time he turned around, it seemed. There wasn't anything particularly special about her, but...

Judging by the way a young human male a couple tables over kept eyeing her, however, he certainly must have felt differently. He wasn't in the least bit subtle about it either. The man was twisted sideways in his seat to look back at her, nearly salivating as he undressed her with his eyes. Kolyat narrowed his own eyes at the other man when he noticed, discomfited at the manner in which he was blatantly leering at her. He could almost see the gears in the human man's head turning, formulating a plan to approach. Kolyat's frown deepened and an unfamiliar feeling of what could only be called possessiveness curled in his chest. She hadn't seemed to notice the man, absorbed in her work as she was, and Kolyat intended for it to stay that way. After all, he rationalized, she may not be anything special but she'd made plans with him and not some random, weirdo creep in the library. Well, they hadn't really made plans if he was honest with himself. It was more of a vague agreement to meet up should they ever end up at the same place at the same time. That time, apparently, was going to be now, he decided.

Kolyat purposefully bumped into the back of the man's chair as he passed causing him to whip back around in his seat and growl in annoyance.

"My apologies, " Kolyat smirked at him, not slowing or breaking his stride. His smirk widened into a grin and a dark spark of satisfaction blossomed within him as the man realized his destination. The grin was quickly wiped from his face' however, as he neared the table where she sat and was replaced again by gnawing anxiety. It wasn't until his shadow fell over her that she looked up from what she'd been doing and Kolyat found himself fascinated by the elasticity of human expression.

The initial confusion plastered upon Amanda's face at having her light blocked was quickly replaced by at first surprise followed closely by guarded, yet joyous, relief. A genuine smile stretched her lips showing her straight, white teeth. "Kolyat!," she exclaimed happily. "Wow, I, uh, I honestly didn't think you'd take me up on my invite."

Kolyat cleared his throat nervously, "I can leave if you want. You look busy. I just thought...I was in the neighborhood so..."

"No, don't leave," she replied quickly. "I'm really happy that you decided to come." Her honey-colored eyes darted around the table. Not only were books stacked on its surface, they were also stacked up in the chairs. "Sorry," she flashed him an embarrassed smile. "I have a mess going on. I didn't realize..." She grabbed the stack of books off the chair to her right and brushed imaginary dust off the seat before gesturing for him to sit.

"Thanks," Kolyat sank down in the seat beside her. He spared a glance over to the man from before who was still looking in their direction but now wore a look of repugnant disbelief on his face rather than the lust from before. The corner of Kolyat's mouth quirked up subtly in response. The man seemed to take notice, glaring at him for a brief moment before turning quickly back to his own table. A small but sweet victory.

"So..."

Kolyat turned his attention back to the woman next to him. "So?"

"How have you been?"

Kolyat raised a scaled brow. She actually seemed genuinely interested judging by the expectant look on her face and not just asking for the sake of being polite. He thought back to all that had happened since he'd seen her last: his daily patrols with Maurtus, his brief yet exhausting vid calls with his father, his nights sitting alone in his small apartment pouring over his 'borrowed' C-Sec manual, the tossing and turning he did in his bed each night as sleep eluded him and painful memories played on a loop in his mind. It could be worse, the voice in his head reminded him as flashes of himself holding a gun to a turian's head played out behind his eyes. He blinked the images away. He grudgingly admitted, "I guess I really can't complain under the circumstances. I could be worse off, I suppose."

Amanda's curiosity was once again sparked, piqued by the vague answers and nervous vibe the drell always seemed to give off. She squashed the urge to inquire about the circumstances he was referring to, remembering how uncomfortable he'd looked the last time she had tried to question him, and simply nodded in agreement. "You can always complain but it usually doesn't do you any good in the long run. People are going to do what people are going to do. At least," she shrugged, "That's what my Uncle John is always telling me."

He steepled his fingers beneath his chin, elbows propped on the table, and contemplated her words for a moment before sighing and nodding in agreement. "It certainly hasn't helped me any..."

"Yeah, well, join the club," she smiled, almost sadly, before giving a soft laugh to lighten the mood once again. "Anyway, I really am glad you decided to take me up on the invite."

"Honestly," Kolyat admitted, "I almost didn't."

"Oh," Amanda questioned, "What changed your mind?"

Kolyat sighed, "I was thinking about what you said, about how sometimes a break in routine is a nice thing. I guess I figured I could use one."

Amanda nodded in agreement, "I know exactly what you mean."

Kolyat noticed that the woman had taken on an almost melancholy aura which gave him a distinctly unpleasant feeling. It wouldn't do. He quickly changed the subject. "How is your project going?"

Amanda perked up, enthusiasm returning and making her golden-brown eyes sparkle with life. "It's going great, actually."

Kolyat relaxed back into his chair, at ease again, and listened to her excitedly prattle on about how she had been struck by a sudden burst of inspiration. She had a nice voice, he decided, despite the fact that it lacked the almost gravelly undertones that drell possessed. Her voice was soft and lilting, almost musical, and its notes rang pleasantly in his ears. He also noted the delicate movements of her hands and wrists as she gestured passionately while she spoke. It was almost hypnotic. When she finally stopped speaking, Kolyat felt vaguely disappointed but nodded his understanding of what she'd been telling him.

A subtle smile played on the drell's lips. "I'm glad everything is coming together for you."

Amanda shrugged, "I wouldn't say everything is coming together but it's nice to have one less thing to worry about, you know? What about you? Anything exciting happen since the last time we bumped into each other?"

Kolyat hummed to himself as he mentally flipped back through the last week since he'd seen the woman, but couldn't really find anything noteworthy to share. "Not really," he shook his head. "C-Sec likes to keep me busy so I really don't have much time for anything else. I've mostly just been making the rounds with Officer Maurtus."

"I see," Amanda nodded. She inquired, "Did his sister have her baby?"

"Yeah," Kolyat chuckled. "Twins. He's definitely a proud uncle. He hasn't been talking about anything else."

Amanda laughed and just like that, their conversation seemed to take off. They didn't talk about anything too specific or anything too personal but it was a comfortable exchange of words. It was nice, Kolyat decided, to have someone who wasn't his family, or his father, or C-Sec to talk to. Any awkwardness he'd felt at the prospect of seeking her out had vanished and he was thoroughly enjoying their time together. It came as a surprising disappointment when, nearly an hour and a half later, she looked at the delicate-looking timepiece strapped to her wrist and cursed softly under her breath.

"Damn it," Amanda muttered. "I have to run. I'm going to be so late." She stood and began to gather the books she'd borrowed, addressing the drell next to her, "I'm sorry, Kolyat. I was really enjoying our conversation. I guess I lost track of time."

"It's fine," he assured her. "I should probably be getting back, also. My father is supposed to vid call me this afternoon. If I miss him he'll probably come looking for me wanting to know where I was why I wasn't at home." He stood and began to gather books. "Here, let me help you."

"Thanks," she smiled up at him as they both made their way over to the rows of shelving to return her books and data pads. "I appreciate it."

"My pleasure," he tipped his chin courteously as he slid the last book back into place. He turned then to find her looking up at him, hands clasped tightly together, and looking slightly nervous. He raised a brow, causing her to laugh softly.

"So..." she started. "This was nice."

The corner of Kolyat's lip quirked up subtly. "It was," he admitted.

"Would you want to maybe get together and do it again sometime?" She tacked on quickly, "Maybe somewhere that isn't the library?"

Kolyat studied her for a brief moment and decided that he'd be lying to himself if he said the idea didn't hold appeal. "I'd like that."

"Great!" The woman sounded almost relieved. She quickly dug around in a bag she had slung over her shoulder and pulled out an actual paper notebook and a pen. She scribbled something down, ripped a page out, and handed it to him. "My contact info," she explained. "Whenever you have some time feel free to give me a call. We can make some actual plans next time."

He accepted the paper from her, his eyes quickly glancing over what she'd wrote, committing it all to memory, before folding it neatly and tucking into his breast pocket. He nodded, "I will."

"Well, till next time, then." She smiled and stuck her hand out, "Thanks for deciding to come out today. I really enjoyed the company."

"Me, too." He took her offered hand and, instead of shaking it as he knew humans were apt to do, he squeezed it gently before quickly releasing it.

"See ya," she bid him goodbye, giving him one last long look before heading for the doors and disappearing from his sight.

"See you," he softly replied after she'd gone. He contemplated silently for a moment, finally coming to the conclusion that it might not be so bad to have a friend. Even if that friend was a strange, yet friendly, human girl he kept running into at the oddest of times and who he most certainly didn't find attractive. Not even a little bit.

End of Chapter 12