A/N: This entire chapter takes place in Good!Merlin' world, through Evil!Merlin's perspective. It is a summary of what has occurred since the last dream segment, and up until where the last chapter left off. Leaving this note in order to avoid confusion.
He took several steps away, his gaze landing on Gaius ever so briefly, before he turned around, heading away from Guinevere and Gaius both, sprinting down the hallway. He needed Morgause, he needed her to set his thoughts straight, to help him work through everything. He needed her support and her counsel. He needed a friend, and someone he could trust.(*)
His mind went blank as he stood at the place where his home had been. His body filled with despair and desperation when he realised that everything he had built, and the safe haven that he had created for sorcerers did not exist. There wasn't even a single trace left of the place. Surely, if it had been destroyed, then there would have been ruins left behind, but there were no signs of the area ever having been touched. It was gone, completely gone. He had prayed for their words to be lies, however he could not explain this, not in a rational way. The Sanctuary had never existed. Freya was nowhere to be found, nor was Morgause.
His hands were placed on his head, clutching his hair tightly as he begun to hyperventilate. Tears were forcing their way through his eyes, running down his cheeks. He could feel his legs threaten to give away from underneath him as he found support in a nearby tree, sinking to the ground slowly. How could this happen? He had spent years of his life building this place. He would have done anything in order to keep those people safe from harm. That was why he had marched on Camelot after Morgana's death, why he had been so set on stopping the madness that had plagued the lands for so long, why he had been so set on bringing Arthur to justice, once and for all. They had attacked his home, and although they had narrowly repelled the attack, he could not ignore it.
He had attacked those people, when they had done nothing to warrant the wrath that he had released upon them. He had no way to know. How could he have known that everything had changed just like that? He should have seen the signs, but he had been too blinded by his fury to think straight.
He removed his hands from his head, peering towards them. His vision was blurred from his tears, but even a blind man could have seen that he was shaking. He wrapped his arms around his chest, curling himself into a ball as he sat there. His shoulders shook heavily with each sob that left his body. He felt cold and hot at the same time. It felt like he was suffocating, every breath he drew feeling as though it may very well be his last. He was panicking, and he had no one he could turn to. He was completely alone. Morgause and Freya were both nowhere to be found. If what they had said was true, then Morgause was dead. The woman had been his rock, ever since his mother had died. He had always had her to fall back on, to go for advice and counsel. The mere thought of her being dead made his entire body shiver uncontrollably. He was beginning to feel dizzy from the lack of air, the young warlock struggling to get a hold of himself.
Where were all the people? What of his father? What had happened to them if the sanctuary had never existed? Were they still living in fear of being discovered and executed? Did his father even know him, and where was he?
His panic had rendered him exhausted beyond belief, and he drifted off to sleep with thoughts still swirling through his head. And he dreamt dreams he could not understand. They felt too real to be mere nightmares, and they felt far to real to be dreams. He had not slept a proper night since he had found Morgana, his sleep never lasting long enough for him to catch anything coherent from the dreams he had been having.
He dreamt of himself, travelling towards Camelot like a fool and being attacked at the gates, not retaliating and as a result he was injured after attempting to plead with the King. He could almost feel the pain of the wound he had suffered in his sleep. He watched himself as he retreated to a clearing in the forest, and shouted a strange language he himself could not understand, desperately waiting for something or someone to come. He witnessed himself break down into tears and panic when he realised that he was on his very own and alone. He observed as he made his way into Camelot, past the guards, Morgana and Gwen with ease and a much more intimate knowledge of the Castle than he had ever had.
He made his way to the cave beneath the castle, in order to speak to the dragon, where he was met with justified scepticism and hostility. Again he pleaded with the dragon, claiming that he was not from this world, begging for the great beast to believe him. The beast explained about the lunar eclipse and the veil between the words and about an exchange of souls. He then claimed to be a Dragon Lord, and then proceeded to command the dragon when he refused to follow his bidding. The beast was forced to obey. He must go to a place where the Old Religion is at its strongest, when the sun is swallowed by darkness, and he had a year to decide wether he wished to return, or not. He promised to free the dragon, and then requested information regarding his father. He was infuriated when he heard what the dragon had to say.
He awoke from his sleep as he was leaving the castle. The dream had been so strange, yet so life-like. It had almost felt as if he had been there. It left him confused, but in his drowsiness he somehow managed to make sense of what had happened. He had solid proof that something must have happened, and his proof was that his home had never existed. The mere thought of something like this happening shocked him beyond belief, and he found himself a bit lost as to what would happen next. Perhaps he should travel to Ealdor, in order to see if his mother was alive. He had nowhere else he could go. He was without a home, and he was on his very own.
He begun the journey towards Ealdor, finding no trouble in his travels. He eventually reached the small village, grinding his teeth lightly as he approached his mothers house. He found himself freezing in place as a face he had missed dearly exit the door of the house.
He could feel his heart pounding rapidly in his chest as he heard the voice of his mother for the first time in many years.
"Merlin, my son! It has been so long, why did you not write to tell me that you were coming?" She questioned.
Tears broke forth through his eyes as he rushed forwards, silently wrapping his arms tightly around his mother. He could feel her warm embrace surrounding him, bringing him the comfort only a mothers hug could provide.
"I have missed you so much, Mother. More than you can begin to know." He whispered out in-between his tear-filled sobs. He felt warm to his core, a smile appearing vibrantly on his face despite the tears. His mother was alive and well, and he could not begin to count how many times he had dreamt of a moment like this, only to wake up and realise that it had only been a dream. Seeing his mother almost made everything that had happened worth it, but only almost.
"Did something happen, Merlin?" He could hear the voice of his mother say. He could listen to her voice all day long, and never tire, for he feared that he may wake up at any moment now.
"No, mother. Everything is fine. It couldn't be better" He spoke in response.
"How long will you be staying, and did you not bring anything with you?"
"I lost my knapsack on the way, and I'll be staying for a while. A year, perhaps longer."
"And what of your duties in Camelot, do you not have to go back?"
"I won't be missed, and I no longer have duties there any longer, mother. Besides, I figure that you could use the help around here."
He reluctantly released his embrace of his mother, fearing that if he let her go, that she would disappear into thin air. He held his breath until he realised that that did not happen. He was put to work rather quickly after his return, helping with the crops and the farm animals and getting back into the rhythm he had before he had left Ealdor all those years ago. It did not feel the same without Will around, though, but had it not been for him.. He owed his friend his life, and therefore he decided that he would do everything in his power to help his family with their work as well. He felt happy and loved. He was thankful for this opportunity that he had been given.
Had it not been for the swap that had taken place, then he would never have been able to see his mother, and now he would be able to spend a whole year with her. He knew that it could not last. He had people to look after, and he could not remain here forever. He knew that he at some point would have to return to his own world, to his wife, to his father, to Morgause and last but not least to the Sanctuary.
He continued to dream of what his counterpart did in his world, about his arrest in Camelot, about his escape and the assistance he had gotten from Gaius and Morgana both, and the desperation he felt regarding the dreams he had been having. He finally learned the truth of what had happened regarding his mother, and felt angry and disappointed at himself. He had been mistaken about Gaius and Arthur. Had he known the truth, then things could have turned out so differently. He had been so absorbed in his grief and fury, that he hadn't listened or even tried to learn the truth. He watched his counterpart arrive at the Sanctuary, and he saw him discover the letters he had hidden away with relative ease. He saw him interact with his wife, and the reluctance he had, and he observed as he spared a non-magical girls life, allowing her to leave The Sanctuary with her family. The dreams had taught him so much, and made him all too aware at how unstable things were between Camelot and The Sanctuary.
He hoped that his counterpart would not mess everything up, so that he would still have a home to return to in a years time.
He had certainly made a mess of things in his counterparts world, but it was too late to go back and change things. He only hoped that his counterparts friends would be understanding enough to not blame him for what had happened. He didn't need destroying his counterparts chance of going home on his conscience as well.
He would remain in Ealdor for as long as he could, spending time with his mother until he would have to leave. This world seemed peaceful and somewhat united. Like his father had written. A simple life was just what he needed right now.
(*)Snippet from Chapter 13, the last glimpse we had from Evil!Merlin's perspective.
I hope you enjoy this chapter, and catching up with Evil!Merlin, even though this chapter is written in a very 'summary' manner. Putting as much detail into this side of the story as the rest would take several chapters, and this is merely a side portion of the story. I also need a better name for Evil!Merlin, as he isn't exactly 'evil'
Please let me know what you think, I love reading your thoughts about the story! Third part begins in the next chapter!