A few days' prior: The leaf village
Ino Yamanaka found herself laying down in her bathtub, fully clothed and armed with a cellphone in one hand and a used pregnancy test in her other. She opened her eyes to peer up at the pale white stucco ceiling of her bathroom, and unsatisfied she let out a deep breath moving her arms to cover her face again. This can NOT be happening right now. The blonde groaned to herself and tried to focus on her breathing. She could feel the cold hard porcelain pressing against her back and she could imagine the way she must have looked right now. Her long blonde hair spilling out of the small apartment bathtub and onto the floor, her legs pushed onto the wall so she could try to wiggle into a comfortable position as she waited for the small stick in her hand to tell her what her future would be. If she was one of the girls she watched in her soap operas she would have mocked the woman on her drama and idiocrasy. But it wasn't a show, and this was her life. She cringed at the mental image of herself. Ino was not a patient person, and the minutes she had been laying here had already felt like hours. This was not what she had envisioned for herself. She wasn't supposed to be laying here feeling like a used tissue. This was supposed to be exciting for women right…potentially being a mom was supposed to be a blessing… then again most women weren't about to get the news that they were going to be doing this alone… they had partners to help them, to be excited about it… Ino didn't have that.
Her phone beeped softly, indicating the timer has reached zero, and she was afraid to look down at her hands. She sat up and crossed her legs under her before she let herself look down.
"…fuck." A bright Pink Plus.
Ino cried.
She knew she wouldn't be completely alone, she realized she had a support system. She thought of Her father, she thought of her best friends, Choji. Yes, Choji. He had always been there for her. If she wanted anyone's comfort right now it would be his. She felt safer with him around. Though not quite as safe as her other team member had made her feel… Shikamaru's face came to the front of her mind and she pictured his knowing smirk, his deep set brown eyes that seemed to always look directly into her soul, and his sun kissed tan skin that made her wonder if the gods didn't make him in their own image. His face had always been in her mind, drifting in and out of her like the shadows he controlled. She hadn't spoken to him in years, it ended messy, she knew. But even still. She thought of him frequently. She wanted to marry him once. Ino touched her stomach tentatively. If everything hadn't have happened the way it did, she wondered if this child could have been his.
She let herself smile. Even after all they had been through he was still the first person she thought of when she was afraid. Ever since they were children…
Ino sat in her bedroom. The young girl dressed in her nightgown as she cuddled herself in her blankets. It was a dark night in October, so of course she was watching a horror movie marathon that in hindsight she knew she shouldn't have been watching. When she heard a small knock on the window. Looking over quickly she jumped to see Shikamaru in a rather horrific looking wolf mask. Peering at her from behind the glass and now howling with laughter.
"SHIKAMARU NARA YOU ANIMAL!" She moved to open the window and gave him a hard punch to the shoulder that almost sent him backwards off of the roof ledge.
"Gahh! Jeez sorry you just looked like suck an easy target" he chuckled and let himself into her bedroom, pulling off his mask and tossing it onto her desk as he hopped through the window.
"how come you didn't come to Choji's Halloween party?" he sat down on the side of her bed and was soon joined by a pouting Ino. She crawled back into her previous heap of blankets and made a small shrug.
"It just seemed silly to me is all, aren't we getting a little old for Halloween Parties? Were genin now. We have training in the morning."
Shikamaru chuckled and folded his legs under him "Ino, it's just a little fun." He glanced over at the television and pressed his lips together in a thoughtful line. "Is this really scaring you?" his brown eyes met her blue ones and her playful smile evaporated.
"no… not exactly" she pulled her knees up into her chest and rested her head on them, giving Shikamaru a thoughtful look, weighing whether or not she should continue. Shikamaru thought she looked like a doll, beautiful and unmoving as she contemplated.
"What's on your mind huh?" the brunette prompted and tilted his head slightly and curiously to the side.
Ino gave him another look before she nibbled nervously on her bottom lip and continued "were genin now… everything is going to change… we will be in charge of protecting the lives of everyone in this village… I remember when I was little… Every time my dad went on a mission, I never knew if he would come home… and if he did come home, when he would be sent to the hospital… I could always hear my mom cry… what if I put her through that? I am scared… not of monsters or boogeymen" she nodded toward the television. "I'm scared of me, what we might learn, who I might become. What If I'm not strong enough…" she looked back at her best friend and sighed "What if I mess up, and you or Choji get hurt…"
"Stop" His voice was soft but firm and he scooted forward toward her slightly, taking his hand gently up and down her shin, attempting to comfort her "Isn't it my job to overthink everything?" he gave her a reassuring smile "Besides, that's what training is for, our families have always been great working together, we will be too"
She sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear "that's not fair. You and Choji are already stronger than me….and I swear to god if you tell him I admitted that I'll cut your hair in your sleep…"
Shikamaru let a small laugh escape his lips and earned another soft punch from the blonde before she continued
"Shut up I'm serious. Whenever I'm alone or on lookout duty every shadow I see freaks me out..." she shivered and pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.
Shikamaru made a disgruntled face and held up one finger to her to wait. He jumped off the bed and walked over to her desk, grabbing the lamp and bringing it back over to her bed, he plugged it in by her nightstand and aimed the beam of light at her wall "Lucky for you, I am the master of shadows" he flashed her a devilish smile and earned a grin from her in response
"what are you doing Shika?" she laughed and watched as he made a few hand gestures.
"I'm making shadow puppets. Now shut up I'm trying to make a point, look" he smirked and Ino reluctantly obeyed
"When I was little I was afraid of the shadows too… but then my dad taught me that every shadow is just light bending off of something that my mind already understands… see…" he made the shadow of a bunny, a dog and a tree, trying to earn a laugh from the distraught blonde. When it didn't work he sighed and sat back down on her bed. "come here" he held out a hand for her to take it and she did. He pulled her close to him and into his lap, letting her back rest against his chest and he took her hands in his, using the four hands and twenty fingers to twist into strange shapes and shadows on the wall "these shadows are just us…and that's not scary right…" he whispered to her softly and she leaned into his chest for comfort, letting him continue to play with her hands in his.
"no" the words barely escaped her lips and she kept her eyes focused on the figures dancing on her wall. "But you can actually control shadows…I can't… My mind jutsu is strong but it is dangerous for me too… what if I miss? Besides…I always fall…" she sighed and could feel her nervousness slowly sinking back into her.
"That's okay…" he let his chin rest on her shoulder "I promise I will always be there to catch you." His voice was serious but soft, and for the first time in a few weeks Ino had felt calm and confident.
"Thank you Shika." She smiled a small smile and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting there in an embrace "You're the best friend I could ever ask for"
Shikamaru felt the blush reach his cheeks and he was glad she couldn't see it. He smoothed her hair and pat her back softly "I know." He chuckled and earned a jab in his ribcage….
Ino wiped a few fallen tears from her cheeks. "Too bad you didn't keep that promise" she whispered to herself in the small cold bathroom. She tossed the small stick into the trashcan and stood up to look at herself in the mirror. She wouldn't torture herself like that again. Shikamaru was gone, he had been gone for a long time, and he hadn't cared enough to talk to her in what felt like half a lifetime. She was pregnant. She was alone, and she needed to be strong. Life happens. She pulled her hair back into a high bun and walked out of the bathroom, letting the door shut behind her. She had to let the world know her fate.
Present Day: Shikamaru
"Ino is pregnant."
Those were the last words that made their way through Shikamaru's ears. After those words his entire world seemed to stop turning. He sat there unmoving as the scene around him continued in silent slow motion around him. He stared at Choji's mouth, he could see it continued to move but Shikamaru couldn't hear it. He felt the darkness build in him again, he could feel the sludge oozing back out of every pore. His body felt heavy. He was going to be sick he thought. A child, growing inside Ino. He pictured her glowing and swollen. He remembered the way she used to touch him, he could still feel her palm on his cheeks, his chest, he felt her lips pedal soft on his. He imagined the way she used to wrap herself around him until they would become one. Ino was pregnant. He then saw her placing those soft kisses on another strange man, and he could feel his heart shattering all over again. His body felt hot with anger and regret and sadness. Pregnant. That's when he realized that there were hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't even realized he was crying.
"Shikamaru?" He heard Choji calling his name but he couldn't seem to make his lips form a response. He saw the large ninja before him make a saddened expression and push another shot towards him in encouragement. Shikamaru glanced down at the small glass but he couldn't make his body move to pick it up. His brain was either moving too fast or too slow to function. He couldn't tell which one. He took another moment to try to find movement in his body, and he barely found the strength to whisper the one thing that mattered to him.
"Is…Is she happy…Choji…Is she happy?" He didn't think he wanted to know the answer. Fore it was surely just going to push another pin into his chest.
Choji took in the look of his best friend and he admired the strength there. If it weren't for the tears pouring down his face Choji wouldn't have been able to read the brunettes expression at all. "I don't know…I think she hasn't decided yet…she is being strong… like she always is. Mostly I think she's scared." He sighed and traced his finger over the rim of his glass.
Scared. Shikamaru nodded once and bit his tongue "who's the father?" He was scared of the answer. But he decided he needed to know. He wanted to know who to hate other than himself.
Choji gave Shikamaru a disappointed look but sighed in understanding. "I don't know man. She's not a relationship person…. anymore I guess."
"teh… she never really was" Shikamaru snapped
Choji scowled "Watch yourself, I'm telling you this out of respect. Aren't you with Temari?" he raised an accusatory eyebrow "I'm in a really fucking awkward position right now Shikamaru. The two of you are my best friends…and I know you have a history…but you talk down about her and I will punch you so hard you'll start calling me daddy." He warned
Shikamaru sighed and rubbed at his temples for a moment before he finally picked up the shot in front of him, downed it and quickly followed it with another. He still felt numb. But not numb enough. The reality was setting in on him and he was quickly moving forward with the seven stages of grief "your right…I'm sorry… I just didn't…expect this yet."
Choji pressed his lips into a hard line and gave the brunette a sharp nod before he sighed and gestured to the bartender to bring out some beer. "I know man…I know… but Ino… you fucked her up man… she doesn't really date… I'm sure she has plenty of company on cold nights, look at her…but I really don't think she has a boyfriend."
Shikamaru stayed silent. It took him years to get Ino to realize that he loved her. Years of watching her crush over their classmates and fellow ninja. Whenever he would think they had a moment, the next day it was almost like she had forgotten. She refused to see him as a man for quite some time. It was torture for him, because he had always known she was what he wanted, He had first realized he loved her when they were children… He could still remember the exact moment flashing through his mind.
It was just another day for Shikamaru, they had gone to school, the three of them decided to spend the night in the Nara household, that night was different however… The three of them had passed out in front of the television. Shikamaru remembered that it had begun storming, he had always slept soundly through storms. He found them comforting. Ino on the other hand had always had the opposite reaction. She usually woke up in a terror and coward deeper into her blankets… but that night she had decided to gently shake the brunette awake.
"Shikamaru?" he could still hear her soft voice, see her sleepy and slightly disheveled bedhead and worried blue eyes as he leaned up to look at her
"Ino? What is it?" he asked tiredly and Ino gave a small pout. Her tiny pink lips worried he would say no.
"Will you hold me?" Shikamaru saw the want in her eyes and like a puppet she pulled on his heartstrings. "You make me feel safe."
Shikamaru felt his heart swell at the sight of her. He managed a sleepy nod and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her under his blankets and let her press her back against his chest. He could feel her warmth, and the smell of her hair surrounded him messy and free. It was the first time he had ever wanted to be that close to another person, and it was that moment that he realized he loved her like nothing else he had ever loved before. That was the best night's sleep he ever had.
Shikamaru pulled himself out of his memory, it was almost too painful to think about now. He looked back up at his best friend pouring him a beer and the brunette sighed and wiped away his tears.
"I'm sorry. Thank you for telling me… It's not really my business…but I'm glad I got to hear it from you…" His voice was still at a whisper. He couldn't manage much else "She probably doesn't want me to know anyway."
Choji sighed and shook his head "Shikamaru…. What are you doing here… you need to come home. You hate it here…I can see it in your eyes…. Your mother misses you every day… I miss you… you need to face your demons brother… You can't keep hiding here forever…" he placed a hand on Shikamaru's shoulder and pressed his lips into a firm serious line "I want you to come back with me. Just for a little while?"
Shikamaru locked his jaw and he shook his head "I don't know Choji. I haven't been there in too long… and I know I'm going to run into her…and I haven't talked to her since that day… the day I left. The day we broke up. I don't know if I could handle it." He gripped his glass in his hands and looked down at his reflection in the liquid. Broken and sad.
Choji gave him a reassuring pat. "You need to...you both need to…please…If not for you…than for me. It will be good for everyone."
Shikamaru sighed and took another drink "well then…I guess I better go pack…"
Sorry for the wait guys, this chapter was really hard for me to write, but hopefully the ShikaIno Cheese satisfied your hunger. Chapter 4 will be really stressful for our angsty brunette; I'll be sure to post soon. Please feel free to comment and ask me questions! You guys are great 3