Disclaimer: The Maiden of Autumn owns nothing.
It was my lovely Muse-chan's birthday last week. I told her to give me a prompt and she said, "Spy."
...Which brought me back to some childhood memories. Very fond ones, they are. And they gave me an idea... Which is not always a good thing.
It's late, but some setbacks prevented me from getting this up. Right.
...Enjoy this long drabble that's not really a drabble anymore. Happy (late) birthday, my dearest Remmy18. This one's for you!
Spy
"L?"
No answer.
"L."
Still nothing.
"Goddammit, L, I swear to God, you had better not be doing-"
Light's annoyed words were cut off as with a small putt, something came whizzing through the air, landing directly on his chest and sticking there, hanging off smugly with infuriating limpness.
"…that. Again." Sighing as he finally finished his sentence, Light resisted the urge to smack his forehead on something hard and concrete, instead opting to glance down and see that it was a cylindrical Nerf dart with a suction cup hanging from his shirt front.
He closed his eyes and attempted to reign his temper in while he plucked the offending suction dart off of his chest and dropped it into his coat pocket.
This was the third time this had happened.
In an hour.
In the same clothing store.
…Light was reeeeally regretting buying L that plastic pistol and accompanying ammunition. He really, really was.
"L."
This time, there was a rustle and a head of spikey black hair emerged from a circular clothing rack packed tightly with clothes. It provided a perfect cover for the meddlesome incubus, whose black eyes were sparkling with mirth as he quirked an eyebrow at Light, as if nothing were wrong and he was absolutely not hiding in a clothing rack with a small black, plastic pistol clutched tightly in his hand.
He said nothing as Light stared at him with annoyance written on his features. Instead, his head turned sharply to the left at the sound of a woman stopping at his particular clothing rack, looking through the coats hanging on the metal.
An alarmed expression crossed L's face, and much to Light's incredulousness, L tucked the pistol into the pocket of his baggy jeans and then, with some help from his fluttering wings, he propelled himself out of the clothing rack, executing a barrel roll all while humming a certain familiar song and then darted into the clothing rack opposite of the one he had been inhabiting.
The humming came to a stop, and then, L peeked out once more, large black eyes peering around the store in faux suspiciousness. They landed on Light, and a certain devilish glint passed fleetingly through them as L raised a spindly white finger to his lips and hissed, "Shhh…"
Causally, Light wandered over to the rack L was currently hiding in, as if nothing were wrong and he was not intent on interrogating and then strangling the infuriating mythological being who also happened to be his significant other. Kneeling down once he reached L, Light pretended to tie his shoe, all while hissing, "L."
This gained L's attention and his tail flicked in acknowledgement of his name, obsidian-black eyes flitting over to appraise Light. A small smile took over L's lips, showing a bit of fang as he said nonchalantly, "Ah, hello, Light."
"L," Light repeated, this time more ominously.
"Light?" was asked curiously by an incubus who was feigning innocence and ignorance.
Light mentally counted to ten in an effort to get his irritation under control, and once he thought he had a firm hold on it, Light quietly asked, "Would you care to tell me what, exactly, you're doing?"
Openly grinning now, L's small bat-wings fluttered in pleasure as he candidly answered, "I'm a spy, Light."
…Oh, fuck. This is what I get for taking him somewhere with a children's toy? See if you're getting those brownies tonight.
"…The suction darts?" Light asked, using his depleting reserves of patience to maintain a level tone. This was the last thing he wanted to deal with. He wanted to find some clothes for Sayu's birthday and get back to their apartment, for he still had things to do!
Blinking, L simply raised his eyebrow at Light and replied, "Every spy needs a mortal enemy."
"…And the song?"
L's thin shoulders rose in a shrug as he said with a small smile, "From Mission Impossible. Every spy needs their own theme song!"
"…Hm," Light hummed, nodding. An idea was starting to take root in his mind, and his amber eyes flicked over to the shelf where the plastic-bagged socks were located.
"Ah, Light?" L tentatively asked, his head cocking to the side in curiosity.
"Mhm?" Light asked, pointedly ignoring L as he picked out some clothes at random. L watched him wide-eyed, raising his thumb to his lips to mouth at it.
"That glint in your eye…" L murmured, and then he blinked, wings stilling as he took in the clothes Light was picking out. "Wait, Light," the incubus said suspiciously, pointing at the clothes draped over Light's arm with his free hand. "Those are clothes you'd never wear. Why are you picking them out?"
Not bothering to respond to L's questions, Light finished selecting some clothes and threw them over his arm, then turned to L, regarding him thoughtfully. Nodding once he had seemed to come to some sort of mental conclusion, Light shifted the clothes over his arm carefully and to his liking. Covering his hand with the sleeve of a jacket he had picked out, Light discreetly hooked a finger in a loop on L's jeans, using it to tug the protesting incubus along after him, in the direction of the dressing rooms. He snagged a bag of socks on the way as well, tucking them under his arm.
"Light," L continued, attempting to dig his heels into the ground to prevent Light from dragging him along, though to no avail. "You're not going to buy those clothes. You don't need a fitting room!"
"L," Light said quietly, finally getting to the hall of dressing rooms and picking a bigger room, opened the door and tossed the clothes in carelessly, except for the package of socks. He swung L around and into the dressing room, causing L to lose his footing and tumble to the ground. Light slipped in after him and closed the door, locking it securely. "Sh."
"I will not be quiet- they can't hear me!" L griped as he rose to his feet, tail lashing maliciously in irritation. He didn't notice as Light ripped open the package of socks and pulled one out, balling it in his fist as he looked up, eyes narrowing. And then, seeing the incubus was sufficiently distracted, he struck.
L started in shock as Light suddenly pushed the incubus to the wall, pinning him there with a forearm against the thin chest. A sly grin spread across the college student's face as he looked the shocked L in the eye, allowing the incubus to see the glint of mischievousness in his amber eyes.
"Light!" L finally exclaimed once he had regained his bearings. He halfheartedly pushed against Light's arm, attempting to wiggle free as he continued, "What are you-Mphhh!"
L's words were abruptly cut off by a sock being stuffed into his mouth by a grinning Light.
Wide black eyes stared in shock at the college student as Light adjusted his position to slip a knee between L's, securing him more firmly to the wall as he whispered, "Can't have you making a racket, L." And then, Light's smile turned sly and he tapped a finger on the sock, saying, "Spies are usually quiet, are they not?"
"Phmph phhh mfph mphshsh?" L's muffled words bore a questioning tone which Light ignored as he tapped the sock thoughtfully, all while musing out loud.
"A theme song, a gun, a mortal enemy…" Light murmured, and then his amber eyes slid over to meet L's, and the incubus felt his heart skip a beat as Light's gaze turned sly and almost seductive. "I think you've got everything a spy needs, but I think you're forgetting one important detail." Leaning in close, Light murmured, "Do you know what every spy gets when they get caught by their mortal enemy?"
"Mphhh!" L exclaimed through the sock, watching Light with wide eyes that were slowly starting to become heavy-lidded.
"…A full-body strip search," Light said nonchalantly, as he unbuttoned L's shirt and pushed it down his shoulders, then reached down to unbutton a now-squirming L's baggy jeans, watching intently as they slid to the ground, pooling on the carpeted floor.
Flicking his eyes back up, Light grinned slowly, enjoying the way L's wings drooped and tail writhed against the wall in uncurious excitement. "I do hope you're not hiding anything, my lovely little spy," Light purred devilishly as his hand trailed down L's side, heading unwaveringly downwards, "because I'll have to examine you very, very thoroughly if you are."