Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
Than to harm the one I love

Within Temptation – What Have You Done

Chapter 38

Someday

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at Klaus defiantly, I was ready for anything. Maybe he would yell at me or say more mean things, or maybe he would even attack me. I didn't care; I was ready to settle things between us. If he wanted to fight with me, that was fine, but this time I would fight back. There was still no expression on his face; he was just staring at me. Apparently he wanted a staring contest. Fine, I had no intention to look away.

"What the hell was that?" he finally asked, his tone was freezing. "Harassing the servants isn't enough for you anymore?"

I flinched, no matter how much I tried to stay calm. I couldn't do this and I didn't have to, he had no right to hurt me again.

"Go to hell," I hissed and tried to walk away. Of course he didn't allow that, he grabbed me and lifted me up like I would be a doll.

"Get your hands off me!" I growled and revealed my fangs. He shoved me against a tree and trapped my hands on my sides.

"Let me go!"

I knew that there was no point to struggle, he was stronger than me, but that didn't stop me from trying.

"You will never touch that boy again," he ordered firmly. "Do you understand?"

I was really angry now; who did he think he was.

"I'll touch whoever I want," I hissed. "And just so you know, he kissed me, not the other way around, I don't kiss children…"

"I don't care!" he snapped. "You will obey me!"

I was full of anger, but I smiled, just to annoy him as much as possible.

"Make me."

His eyes darkened, most people would have been scared now.

"I wouldn't test my patience if I were you, sweetheart…"

"Or what?" I asked still smiling. "You compel me? Oh, that's right, you can't. You ground me? Go ahead and try. You take my dolls away from me…?"

He tightened his grip and leaned towards me.

"I have ways to make you obey, believe me," he snarled. "How about I'll start by gutting that chubby mini-horse of yours…"

"No!"

I was suddenly in panic; I had never struggled so hard in my life. The fiery of my sudden attack surprised Klaus; he had to really struggle in order to keep me in place.

"You won't touch my baby!" I shouted at the top of my lungs and looked at Achille who was standing few feet away from us. "I'll kill you if you try!"

He looked stunned; I struggled and screamed until my screams slowly turned into sobs.

"Eva…"

"If you want to hurt me, then hurt me, but leave my baby alone."

I was ashamed of my tears, but I couldn't stop crying, Achille meant more to me that anyone could understand. I certainly didn't expect Klaus to understand.

"No, Eva," he muttered and placed me on the ground. "I…don't want to hurt you. Or your pony."

I didn't move or look at him; I tried to dry my eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said after long silence.

"What, you're not planning to mock me?" I huffed. "Come on, a little circus freak cries because of her chubby mini-horse? That sounds funny."

"No."

He kneeled in front of me, but I turned my head away.

"Eva I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I just don't want you to…"

He didn't finish his sentence so finally I looked at him.

"I told you, he kissed me, I wouldn't…"

"I don't want you to kiss anyone," he snapped.

I felt my anger rising again.

"I know how pathetic I am, you don't have to tell me that" I snapped. "Yes, sometimes I compel some servant to think that I am a real woman instead of a freak, just because I'm so lonely and desperate for someone to hold me and tell me that I'm special. Like you so helpfully pointed out, no man would willingly touch someone like me."

I glared at him angrily, ready to hear more mocking, but he looked distressed.

"Come here," he muttered and pulled me close to him.

"What are you…" I started, but he muffled the rest of my sentence with a kiss. I was stunned, but that didn't last long, angrily I pulled away and took a step back.

"I don't want or need your pity," I snapped.

He gazed at me intensely and shook his head.

"No pity. You are mine, Eva and in different circumstances I would have made you my wife a long time ago."

I stared at him with my mouth open; it took me a while to really understand his words. I expected him to start laughing, but he seemed to be very much serious. Finally I managed to speak.

"Who says that I would have you?"

He grinned.

"Oh, I can be quite persuasive; I usually get what I want."

"You can also be a jerk," I snorted.

"Yes, I know," he replied calmly. "If I could take back those things I said to you, I would, but unfortunately all I can do is asking for your forgiveness. You are my best friend, Eva, I can't lose you."

I wasn't sure what to think, I still loved him, but I wasn't sure if I could simply forget everything.

"Why would you have said those things if you wouldn't think like that?" I asked quietly.

"I don't think like that, I swear, I was drunk and…" He paused and gritted his teeth. "I was jealous; I don't like what you do with that servant. I suppose that was the reason why I wanted to hurt you."

"You have no right to be jealous," I snapped. "You don't own me."

"I know, I know," he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I want you to be happy; I really do, but… I don't want men to touch you. You are my girl."

I didn't say anything; I really didn't know what to say. He sighed and placed his palms on my shoulders.

"I love you, Eva and I need you by my side. Please tell me that I haven't lost you."

I hesitated, but not for long, as he had said, he could be quite persuasive.

"I might forgive you," I said. "On one condition."

He raised his eyebrows.

"What might that be?"

I smiled and cocked my head towards Achille.

"I want you to apologize for calling my darling a chubby mini-horse."

"What? Are you serious?"

I nodded.

"Very much."

"Fine," he huffed. "I apologize…"

"Not to me, to him."

Klaus looked at me disbelievingly.

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

He rolled his eyes, but he stood up and walked over to Achille.

"Hi there, pony boy. Please accept my deepest apology for calling you a chubby mini-horse; you are a very fine pony."

Achille looked at him carelessly and snorted. I burst into laughter, I couldn't help it.

"I think he accepted it. So did I."

Klaus walked back to me and touched my hair.

"So, we are friends again?"

I nodded.

"Yes."

"Good, I'm glad. The full moons certainly weren't the same without you. Kiss and make up?"

I smiled.

"Fine, but keep your tongue to yourself mister, I'm a lady."

He chuckled and lifted me up, his kiss was brief, but it was also soft and tender, a gentleman's kiss. It felt very nice; I had never seen him kissing anyone else like that. He kept me in his arms for a while after pulling away.

"Someday I will find a way…" he muttered.

I didn't have to ask what he was talking about, but I didn't believe it could ever happen, I wasn't going to grow.

"Now, about Marcellus," he continued. "I know he has… a crush on you or something like that, but surely you understand…"

"I'm not stupid, Klaus," I huffed. "He is a child, he likes me because I look like a child, but he will get over that when he grows up, I'm sure of it."

A part of me was a little sad about that, but it would inevitably happen, he would become a man who would find himself a woman. I wouldn't be that woman, not to him or to anyone. Klaus kissed my cheek before placing me on the ground.

"Someday, Eva, I promise you," he said and winked. "And when that day comes, you will say yes."