Another day in this carnival of souls
Another night's sands end as quickly as it goes
The memories are shadows, ink on the page
And I can't seem to find my way home

Five Finger Death Punch – Far From Home

Chapter 42

Choices

New Orleans, 20 years earlier

I sat on a chair, motionless like a statue and stared at Marcellus' lifeless body lying on the bed. He should wake up in any moment now, his transition was almost complete. Klaus had asked me to stay with him and I had agreed without asking any questions. It seemed that even after all these centuries Klaus didn't know me well enough to find that strange. He hadn't said anything about daggering Rebekah or explained the reason why he had suddenly decided to turn Marcellus and I hadn't asked.

I was furious and I would certainly give Marcellus a piece of my mind. After that I would undagger Rebekah and then we would go to papa and leave together. Klaus deserved to be taught a lesson; he had no right to treat his family like this. Of course I didn't want to abandon him for good, but few months of thinking about his behavior would be no more than what he deserved. I was sure that papa and Rebekah would agree with me.

I wasn't sure how long I had waited, but the sun had set a while ago, I had lit up candles around the room. Finally Marcellus' fingers started to move, then his arm. His eyes flew open, he looked shocked. I felt no sympathy, this was what he had wanted for years, he had given up Rebekah because of this. He got up into a sitting position; his eyes scanned the room in wonder.

"How does it feel?" I asked coldly.

He didn't pay much attention to me, he looked more than excited.

"Incredible…"

No more than a second later he was on his feet and zoomed around the room, he was laughing.

"Incredible!"

I didn't move when he was suddenly in front of me, he grinned and lifted me up.

"Come here, flea! Dance with me!"

I revealed my fangs and hissed before biting his hand. He cried out in surprise and dropped me on the floor.

"What… Why did you do that? I am like you now…"

"No, you're not," I hissed. "I know about the agreement you made with Klaus, you abandoned Rebekah!"

Marcellus pressed his lips together and looked away.

"No, it wasn't like that…"

"How was it then?" I asked coldly. "Feel free to explain."

He looked distressed.

"I do love Rebekah, but can't you see, I'm an immortal now! Who would choose a one lifetime with…anyone over this?"

"I would!" I shouted. "You have no idea how lucky you were, you had an opportunity to be with someone who loves you and you just threw it all away!"

He shook his head.

"I get that you might think like that, but if you would be a normal vampire you would understand…"

My eyes narrowed.

"A normal vampire?"

"You know what I mean," he muttered.

"Yes, I suppose I do," I replied icily. "Enjoy your immortality, Marcellus. You and I are no longer friends."

I turned around and marched out, he made no attempt to stop me. Was I too hard on him, maybe, but I didn't care; I would never be able to understand his choice. I would definitely take that one lifetime with someone who I loved and who would love me. Being able to hold that person, kiss, caress, make love… Who would give that up? Marcellus didn't deserve Rebekah. I went straight to the cellar; I knew that Klaus had taken Rebekah there. It took me a moment to find her coffin; Klaus had been smart enough to hide it. Determinedly I opened it and was just about to pull the dagger out when someone grabbed me from behind.

"What do you think you are doing?" Klaus snarled.

"Let me go," I demanded calmly, I didn't even try to struggle. He turned me around and glared at me. "My sister brought this on herself; she won't be undaggered before I say so."

"How did she bring this on herself?" I asked coldly. "By falling in love?"

"You don't know what you are talking about," he snapped. "This isn't open for discussion."

"I think it is," I snapped back. "You had no right to do this to her."

"Oh please," he snorted. "What did I do to her, showed how much her lover truly cared for her? She deserves better, would you agree?"

"You are just full of crap," I hissed. "Or do you honestly believe you did this for her own good?"

His eyes darkened.

"Watch it, Eva. Not even you are allowed to talk to me like that."

"Just admit it," I snapped. "You can't have what you want, so you hate it when someone else is happy. You have no right to decide who Rebekah is allowed to be with."

I knew that I definitely shouldn't anger him more, but I couldn't control myself. To my surprise, he laughed.

"Oh, if you would only know the irony in that…"

I frowned.

"What?"

"You think I'm the only one who makes decisions for others? Think again. Rebekah was the one who killed your precious Owen."

I froze, I couldn't believe his words. No… No, this wasn't true.

"You're lying…"

He shook his head.

"I'm not. She did what she did to protect you, just like I am protecting her now."

Protect me? For all these years I had thought that Owen had left me after he had promised to stay with me forever. He would have stayed with me, we could have been together for all this time…

"You all knew?" I asked, my voice sounded very calm. I certainly wasn't calm, but apparently Klaus couldn't see that. "Kol? Papa?"

"Yes," Klaus replied. "But that's ancient history; my point is that sometimes we must protect the people we care about, even from themselves."

He placed me on the floor and closed the coffin.

"Do you understand what I mean?"

I looked perfectly calm, but inside I was a mess. I felt completely betrayed by everyone who I had trusted. Yes, it was maybe ancient history, but obviously Klaus couldn't understand what this meant to me. Owen and I had grown up together; he had loved me as me without any conditions. He would have stayed with me even if I would never look like an adult, I would have had a real companion. Instead I had thought for so many years that he had left me and it had changed my very essence for good. They had all seen my pain and said nothing. The thought was so devastating that I couldn't even begin to handle it.

"Yes, I understand," I heard myself saying.

He looked at me for a moment before lifting me up.

"I'm glad. I really am doing this for Rebekah's own good."

I nodded.

"I understand."

He kissed me briefly and I let him, even though I didn't feel anything. "I love my sister, Eva, and I love you. I know sometimes I show it badly, but I really do."

His words didn't really mean anything to me; something inside me had just died.

"I know."

He was about to say something, when the screaming started upstairs.

"Marcellus…" he muttered and placed me on the floor. "I will be right back."

"I will be here," I lied when he zoomed upstairs. No, I wouldn't be here. One single tear managed to roll down my cheek before I blocked the pain out. It was better to freeze my heart than feel the pain. I never wanted to feel anything ever again.

New York

"Have you ever wondered how many stars there are?" Damon asked.

"No," I replied. "I can't say that I have."

We had just been hunting and now we were lying on the rooftop, looking at the bright night sky.

"You know what, I'm going to count them right now. One, two, three, four, five…" He paused and blinked his eyes. "Where was I?"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh, honey, I warned you not to feed on that other one, couldn't you smell the opium in his blood?"

"No," he muttered. "I feel a little strange…" Suddenly he looked frightened. "Am I going to die?"

"No, no," I replied calmingly and moved closer to him. "You'll be fine, I promise. But next time you might want to follow my advice, it's smart to listen to your elders."

"I'm a crappy vampire…" he murmured.

"No, you're not," I assured and touched his shoulder. I startled when he suddenly rolled on his side and wrapped his arms around me.

"You're…you're…you're great," he stuttered, the poor thing was messed up because of the combination of drugs and alcohol. I had tried to encourage him to drink less; the alcohol wouldn't solve his problems. "I'm so happy I met you…"

"There, there," I muttered and tapped his back. He sighed and pressed me tightly against his chest. We had lived together for two weeks now and I had certainly noticed that he had a lot to learn about being a vampire. Surprisingly I didn't mind teaching him; I felt that I finally had a progeny of my own. For some reason my blood couldn't turn anyone, I had learned that many years ago. Another perk of being a child vampire. I had truly enjoyed having someone to hunt with again, although he needed to feed more often than I did.

"I miss my brother…" Damon murmured. "I hate him, but still I miss him…"

I didn't say anything, but I felt a nasty sting. I missed my family too, no matter how much I tried to deny it. They didn't miss me; I had seen it with my own eyes when I had returned to New Orleans after being gone for almost five months. They had been having a party; I had seen Klaus and papa having fun and kissing some women. My room had been empty; all my things had been gone, like I would have never lived in that house at all. I had been prepared to talk about what had happened, but I hadn't done that. Why would I when they were obviously much happier without me.