Chapter 26

Tris' POV

Guys are such idiots.

Guys literally need to learn how to tame their dicks.

At the moment, I am currently pissed off at Tobias. Not only has he been very handsy lately, his filter is not really working right now as well.

I refused to let him come at a five feet proximity with me. No kissing, no hugging, no touching, no smiling, no nothing. I may have exaggerated a little, but Tobias needs to know who's boss. And that's me.

I'm not controlling. Okay, maybe I am, just a little. Who am I kidding- I am pretty controlling. But seriously, Tobias has crossed the line and I refuse to talk to him.

"Tris." Tobias pleads with me. If he's going to act that way, I might as well give him the silent treatment to show how serious I am with him about these types of situations.

Statistically speaking, girls want sex as much as guys do, but I'm not like every girl. Relationships isn't all about sex. It's about how much you love and care for your partner. It's how much you would risk to keep the other safe and happy.

But I am not happy with Tobias. He needs to get his grip together before I bitch rage all over him.

I continue to ignore Tobias' pleads and continue to load my books into my locker.

The reason for me being so mad at him was because before school started I went over to Tobias. He was hanging out with his friends from football. I'm sure half of them take heroin or cocaine. It's disgusting. They were talking about girls and which girls had the biggest boobs. And according to one of them, one of the guys said to Tobias that I was a "good lay."

How dare Tobias agree to him? Am I just a "good lay"? Is that all I am to him?

"Do you know what? You can go fuck yourself. Or you can find other girls to do that for you." I slam my locker shut and walk away.

I need Christina. She'll know what to do. I find her at the school library talking to Will. I slam my hand down onto the table.

"Will, can I speak to Chris?" He nods. "Alone?"

"Oh right." He gets up. "I'll just be-uhm-uh- over-just-...I'm just going to go." He quickly scurries off.

"Great Tris, you scared off my boyfriend." Christina laughs.

"I am not in the mood. Can I vent for just like five minutes? Without any interruptions?"

"Go ahead, girl. I'm all yours." So, for like five minutes straight, I let out all of my anger on Christina. She nods along with what I say and listens very carefully. I love Christina.

"That dick!" She says aloud and stands up. The librarian glares at her and scolds her for using "inappropriate" language. "At least I'm getting some and you aren't." Christina retorts back to the librarian.

Oh snap.

Ms. Cult turns red and sends Christina off with a warning.

"Yeah, yeah whatever." Christina dismisses what she says as she walks away.

"I just don't want to talk to him at the moment. If he wants to hang out with people like that, he can. But I don't want to be involved with a guy who screws around with such major idiots."

"Are you saying you want to break up with him?" Chris asks.

"No! God no. But I'm so confused. I don't want to be with him just so he can't have someone to bang. I'm with him because I love him and I know he loves me. But if he's going to be like that, I don't know anymore. I'm not going to break up with him. I wish he didn't say that or agree." I start to get a little emotional. And I feel tears brimming at the back of my ears. "Is he only with me for sex?"

"No, Tris. Gosh no. If he were, wouldn't he have tried something a long time ago?"

"You're right. I don't know what's wrong with me." I sigh and wipe my tears.

"Hey, hey. Honey, if you want, I can kick his ass for you."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'm good."

"How about after school you and I have a girls day. We'll go shopping and do something fun. I feel like we haven't been able to spend quality time with one another in a while. We can even go watch a movie." She says.

"I'd like that very much." I say. I am so grateful to have a friend like Christina. What would I do without her?

"Now come on. Let's get lunch." She offers me her hands and I entwine mine with hers. "Believe it or not, your hands feel nicer than Will's." She says and I burst out laughing.

"Yeah, do you use lotion? Because your hands are very soft." I says in response.

"I do! Cucumber Melon from Bath and Body Works. You like?"

"I love."

The two of us get out lunch and sit at our regular table. We sit down and I silently pray that Tobias and Zeke would not be sitting with us. I cannot stand to be near one of them. I don't mind Zeke, but Tobias probably told him what happened and I really don't want to deal with stupid apologies coming from Zeke that should be coming from Tobias.

Unfortunately, luck must be working against me because I look up and see a frantic looking Tobias looking around the cafeteria.

"Tris!" He shouts and runs up to me. "Look I'm sorry."

I'm really don't want to deal with this drama right now. I'm not in the mood.

I roll my eyes and smile at Christina. "Chris, can you tell Tobias that I don't want to talk to him right now?"

Christina looks up at glanced between the two of us. "Tris doesn't want to speak to you right now."

"Tris, please. Can I talk to you in private?"

"Tell Tobias I am busy and I don't want to talk to him."

"Tris says she's busy and doesn't want to talk to you." Christina says as I continue to pretend like he isn't there. I know it's extremely childish, but he needs to get the hint.

"Tris." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Just five minutes, please."

"Can you tell Tobias to fuck off?"

"Tris wants me to tell you to fu-" Tobias interrupts her mid-sentence.

"I know what she said!" He exasperates. "Look, Tris, if you're going to act all childish like this, then just forget about our date tonight." He says irritably. "I'll see you later I guess."

My heart breaks into two. I didn't mean to piss him off. I'm just so annoyed with everything, I guess I should have stopped myself from doing that. He's right, I'm such a child. I burst into tears. "I hate myself right now. I can't believe I just did that" I cry. "Why do I always have to over react and mess things up?"

"Hey, hey. It's fine. You two just need to cool off."

I nod. "You're right. I'll be in the library." I don't care that I barely touched my lunch. I just need to sort all of my feeling out.

I curl up into a ball in one of the corners of the library.

There I was saying how much idiots guys are when I was truly the idiot. I need to apologize. I over reacted and now Tobias is mad at me. I really hate myself at the moment.

I angrily take out my earphones and plug it into my phone. Then, I go to my Fall Out Boy and go to the song, 'Golden'. I love music because it is what understands me the most. The song is so sad and makes me want to cry. It perfectly describes my mood at the moment.

And all of those lovers who have no time for me.

I groan loudly and let myself go. I have to stop crying. I don't know why I'm stressing over this. I shouldn't be stressing, right?

It doesn't help with the fact that stupid Twenty One Pilot comes on after the song ends. Fuck, why does their music have to be so damn good?

The sun will rise and we will try again...

Fuck this. I give up.

I was unable to focus throughout the day and managed to embarrass myself several times in front of my classmates.

I need to apologize to Tobias. I was acting childish and immature.

I run through the halls after school towards Tobias' last period class.

"Tobias!" He turns around and quickly glances at me but continues walking in the other direction. I run faster towards him. "Tobias." I say again when I'm right behind him.

"Look, Tris, I can't talk right now. I have football practice. I have to go." He doesn't even turn around to acknowledge me.

I shoulders slump and I nod my head turn around.

"Tris!" I turn around. "There you are. I've been looking all over you. Come on, let's get our shopping on." She drags me my the arm and I send a quick text to my parents saying that I won't be home until dinner. Luckily, I don't have skating or swim practice today.

I push my thought of Tobias behind my back and put a smile on my face. "Okay, let's go."

"Okay, girl, tell me how fabulous I look on a scale from 1-10. One being fabulous and ten being absolutely and unbelievably gorgeous." Christina says before stepping out of the dressing room.

I look up from my book and examine her. "One." I deadpan.

"Oh wow. Then okay." She sighs dramatically.

"No, I'm kidding. You look stellar. You look so incredibly hot in that dress." She really does.

I compliment her but I can't concentrate. I just want to be wrapped in Tobias' arms and for him to tell me that everything is going to be alright. Because it will, I know it will. Tobias and I have our arguments but we always come back to each other. I choose him in every way possible, and for some lucky reason, a miracle even, he chooses me as well.

I choose him.

Christina manages to take me out of my trance, and we continue our little shopping trip.

I end up buying several new t-shirts and shorts as well as a couple sweatshirts.

We didn't spend too much time at the mall because our our, mostly my lack of interest. Christina was mainly texting Will and I was mainly thinking about Tobias.

"Okay, babe." Christina sighs. "Let's call it a day, I'm so hungry and tired. Do you know what I'm craving for? Some large ass burgers. Oh my gosh, and a large stakes every milkshake." Christina's mom had recently decided to go on this "diet program." Her mom ended up dragging Christina into this dieting as well and only allows her to eat "healthy food." I'd probably cry if my mom made me do that. Christina has been trying to eat as much junk food as she can when she's not at home.

"That sounds so good right now." I agree and we decide to go to the food cafeteria. I also decide that I'm going to stop buy Tobias' house and apologize for my behavior. He should be coming back home from football practice soon and he must be starving.

We eat our meal together as Christina gossips about the latest rumors about people I have no idea about from school.

"Yeah, and get this, she freaking lost her virginity to him! I overheard that in the locker room today. The guy must be such a prick. I heard from his friend that he's getting it with another girl. Like, can guys get any stupider than that? Ugh." I cringe as she continues to stuff fries in her mouth and talk. I love Christina, but not when she talks with her mouth open.

What if I took a picture of her like that?

I open up my camera and sneak a photo of her eating. I then go to my gallery and look at the picture.

To say I laughed really hard would be a complete understatement.

"Oh hell no. Give me your phone! Beatrice Prior, curse the day you were even born!" To her dismay, I delete the picture, but luckily I would be able to recover the photo thanks to my Apple phone. I'm going to have such amazing blackmail powers over her. Gosh, I'm so evil.

Christina drops me off home after we finish our dinner. When I arrive home, my parents are in the kitchen cleaning up.

"Hey, I'm home! Do you guys need help cleaning?" I ask and throw my backpack onto the floor.

"Yes, that would be lovely, Bea." My dad comes up to me and kisses me on top of my head. "Can you help your mother with the dishes?"

"Of course. After, I'm just going to drop that off for Tobias." I gesture the bag of food with my head. He looks on the kitchen counter.

"Okay, that's fine. I'll be up in your mother's and I room if you need anything."

"Kay, cool."

"How was your day, honey?"

I groan out loudly. "Stressful. Tobias and I got into an argument."

"Oh dear. What about?"

"It would be best if you didn't know. It's complicated." I answer.

"That's what they all say. Okay, well thanks for helping. I'm going to my room now."

"Okay." I wash my hands and grab the house keys, my phone and the bag of food before walking down the street towards Tobias' house.

His room is lit up from where I can see so that obviously means he is home at the moment.

I knock on his front door and Evelyn swings it open. I blush lightly because she's dressed in pajamas and has a green face mask on, which totally confuses me because she has flawless skin.

"Hi Beatrice. Come in, come in." She moves to the side to allow me to step inside her house. I slip off my shoes and places them against the wall.

"I brought Tobias food." I hold up a brown paper bag.

"Aww, how nice of you. He's upstairs with his girlfriend right now." I stop dead in my tracks and look at he with wide-eyes.

"What? Girlfriend?" I my betrays me and I try to get the pounding ache in my head to go away.

"Yeah, they've been seeing one another for the past like two months or something." Evelyn turns to me and smiles. This makes no sense. I was literally here last night. Tobias and I were even saying 'I love you' to one another in front of Evelyn. She even comments on how 'cute' we were.

I takes several deep breaths and close my eyes.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"But- I." I close my eyes as the tears start to fall. "I thought- I..."

"Beatrice." Evelyn places a hand on my shoulder.

"We're dating though." I blurt out.

Evelyn releases a puff of air. "Oh fuck."

The tears start flowing faster and it becomes harder and harder to keep the sob from coming out.

"Let's just get Tobias here and we can all talk this out. There is no need for any- Beatrice!"

Something in me finally snaps and all of that sadness I am currently feeling changes to anger. How dare he cheat on me? He promised he wouldn't hurt me anymore. He promised.

I run towards his room and swing the door open. All these emotions run through me at once.

When I was seven years old, I was playing soccer with a few of my elementary school friends. My friend, Savannah, fell down and I decided to help her up. Just as I turned around to continue playing the game, a soccer ball came hurdling towards me at full speed. I remember waking up with a deep pain in my head. My body hurt and everything just felt wonky and terrible.

But this, I never thought anything would hurt more than that physical pain. It's the emotional pain which hurts the most. My body my have hurted, but the emotional pain is so much worst. My chest constricts and everything feels as if it's just falling apart. It feels like a million bullets are hitting my body, and all I want to do is just hide. I want to take all this pain away. I want it to stop hurting. Please stop hurting.

Lauren and Tobias sit in front of one another on his bed. I want to run. I want to cry.

Pain.

So much pain.

He's laughing at something she said, and she smiles brightly at him in return.

All this time, all these lies. Lies, so many lies.

"Tris." Tobias says quietly when he sees me.

"How was football practice? Well, assuming there was even a practice."

"I can explain."

"Of course you can!" I scream. "Is it because I won't have sex with you? Am I not good enough for you? Am I just not...lovable?" I croak.

"Tris..."

"No! I knew it had to be too good to be true. Everything! Is was all some sort of joke. Did I not meaning anything to you? Do you know what? Don't answer that! I'm done with you! I'm done! We're done! Have a good life Tobias Eaton. I hate you!" I run out of his house as fast as I possibly can. My legs burn with each stride I take.

I can't go home. There's so much hurt and anger in me and I need to vent it out somehow. So, I go to the first place I can think of.

I continuously wipe me tears as I approach the small white house. I ring the doorbell and knock on the door three times. The door swings open and I stare at him for a few seconds before I burst into tears ago.

"Hey, it's okay. You're going to be okay." He strokes my head and whispers to me as i cry in his arms. "Want to talk about it?"

I nod my head.

"You're going to be okay." Tyler whispers to me continuously before my body gives out and I loose all my energy from the day. A deep lull finally brings me to a relentless night of sleep.

Tyler's arms allows me to feel safe. I may feel that way now, but I do know that I am not going to be okay.

I thought we would be okay...but I guess not.

A/N: I cried.

But on a serious note, Happy Birthday to the bae, Jensen Ackles. I love you and you're getting old. Stop growing old.