Thanks to everyone for your reviews! I really appreciate all the feedback.
We left off with Gilbert and Anne just about to meet for the first time after his illness. This is how I envisioned it went. Enjoy!
Upon hearing Gilbert's gentle voice call out to her, Anne froze for a moment. He was here, he had come, and he was well! The happiness in her heart crept to her face as her mouth twisted up in smile. Able to unfreeze herself from the spot, Anne immediately stood up and turned towards the voice she had longed to hear for days.
"Gil," she managed to say, "Is it really you?" She noticed immediately the change in him. His skin did not have a robust color and it was clear his clothes fit ill. The fever that ravaged his body had stolen much of its luster. But no fever could ever take the look in eyes. It was the look that Anne had known for years but never appreciated. Now she saw it plain as day. She looked into his eyes and willed herself to believe that Gilbert was standing before her alive and well.
"If by 'really you' you mean, Gilbert, then yes, I am afraid it is!" Gilbert could not resist teasing her. Anne stood motionless again. "Come on, Anne, is this anyway to treat a friend who came all this way to bring you back your basket?" Gilbert asked holding out the basket for Anne. Anne closed the distance between them and took hold of the offered basket as Gilbert held the other end.
"Thank you, Gil! You really didn't have to come all this way to just to bring this back. But I am glad you did." Finally Anne found her voice.
"Well, unless my father was mistaken, you did ask me to call, did you not?" His heart raced slightly when he saw Anne blush, but she made her answer lightly. "I did. You gave us quite a scare Gil. I wanted to see for myself that you were really going to be just fine.
"Well, see for yourself, Miss Shirley, I am as fit as a slightly used fiddle," he replied with a smirk. "A gentleman can't let a little thing like typhoid take him down now can he?" They were standing close, with only the basket between them, neither one of them willing to let go of the bind that seemed to tether them. Gilbert looked into Anne's eyes and tried his hardest to see her only as the friend she wanted to be to him. Anne looked into Gilbert's eyes and tried desperately to search for any sign he still loved her. Both of them were unsuccessful in their endeavors, but their eyes remained locked until Gilbert broke the silence, "I also came to say thank you to you and to Miss Cuthbert and Mrs. Lynde, for the basket of food you sent over. It was very kind of you."
"Oh it was nothing Gil! We were all just so worried. I am glad we could be of some small help." Anne finally realized they were both still holding the basket and felt rather silly. "Here, let me take this. I can put it on the porch." Gilbert reluctantly let go and watched as Anne took the basket over and laid on the porch step. She returned immediately. "I am surprised to see you so soon, though. I couldn't imagine your mother being very agreeable to you being out and about so soon after-" her voice trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence that ended with "you almost died!"
Gilbert shrugged and smiled, "You overestimated my mother's tolerance for incessant nagging. She was happy to see me off this morning if it meant she had an hours peace. I am afraid that what they say about doctors applies to medical students too. We are lousy patients."
"Well I suppose that's my gain then." Anne all of a sudden got queer flutter in heart as she really looked at Gilbert for the first time since her revelation. She realized for the first time in two years why there had been a nagging feeling of emptiness in her heart, why convocation had savored slightly of bitterness. It was because Gilbert had not been in her life. She cut out the person who meant the most to her and seeing him in front of her it was as though she was reliving the estrangement again, and it brought her no small amount of pain. She was barely aware she was verbalizing the thoughts in her head when she heard herself say, "It's so good to see you, Gil. And I don't just mean walking around alive. I mean it's good to just see you, period!" She reached for his hand and took hold if it, where her boldness had come from she didn't know, but it was there all the same. "Gil, I want to apologize to you, if you will let me?"
If her words penetrated his brain it was by sheer accident. Anne's touch on his hand left his skin hot and his mind racing. Anne, reaching out to hold his hand! Was this really happening? He thought back to all those times he had let himself be sentimental with her and she had always rebuffed him at every turn, even to the point of punishing him by paying attention to Charlie Sloane. And now she was holding his hand. But Gilbert steeled himself, not wanting to give himself over to a full appreciation of the moment, lest Anne just be feeling sentimental because he had come so close to death.
"Anne, what in the world would you have to apologize for?" He couldn't fathom a reason Anne would apologize to him. She shifted uncomfortably but kept hold of his hand. "For not being there for you sooner when you were sick."
Gilbert swallowed hard, "Anne, that's crazy. You have nothing to apologize for."
"Yes, I do Gil. I was away when you first got sick and I didn't hear of it until the day before your fever broke. I just wish I could have been there for you, you know, sooner." Gilbert didn't know what to say. He had no intention of accepting Anne's unnecessary apology. "Anne, you don't need to apologize. The fact that you came at all, just to let me know you cared was more than I could have hoped for. I didn't expect it."
"Oh Gilbert, that's worse!" cried Anne, finally letting go of his hand and turning away. Gilbert was surprised by her reaction.
"Anne, I don't understand. I don't blame you for anything."
"But you should, Gil. I should have been there as your friend and I wasn't. You should have expected me to be there. I am sorry." Gilbert reached out and touched Anne's shoulder reassuringly, expecting her to shake him off as was her old custom, but she didn't. "Anne, I don't know why you are being so hard on yourself. I know we grew apart lately, but I hope you know I always considered you my friend."
Anne turned and faced him, his hand still on her shoulder. "I do know that, Gil. I just wish it hadn't taken your fever for me to realize-" she stopped mercifully short, afraid of what she almost said outloud. A sudden picture of Christine rose up before her-"-um, how much I missed having you as my friend."
Gilbert didn't quite know what to say, so he said the only thing he could. "I've missed you too, Carrots." Without thinking he lifted his hand and swept away a stray hair from Anne's face. It seemed so natural a thing to do, until he remembered himself and made the determination that if he were an idiot again, this rekindled friendship would be short-lived. A world with Anne only as a friend was infinitely better than one with no Anne at all. If he were meant to try again he couldn't do it unless they were friends. He pulled back suddenly and said lightly, "Let's not get caught up in apologizing for the past. How about we just move forward and be the friends we were always meant to be. What do you say, Anne? Friends?" Gilbert held out and hand, wanting Anne to shake on it.
The way Gilbert looked at her in that moment took Anne back to the day he rescued her from the lake. He had the same look in his eyes now, an earnest, almost pleading look that she finally now understood to be determination. Realizing how close she had come to revealing too much, Anne decided to let the guilt she felt drop. Of course she wanted to be Gilbert's friend.
She took the outstretched hand eagerly and said, "Of course, friends, Gil. But on one condition…" Anne smiled as she spoke attempting to lighten the situation.
"And what would that be?" Gilbert asked, an answering smile rising to his lips.
"No more almost dying, okay?" said Anne.
Gilbert laughed, "Deal!" And with that they shook hands like school kids on their rekindled friendship. Neither one wanted to let go and Gilbert realized Anne was not going to first, so he pulled away gently. But as he did so he noticed Anne's fingers slid gently over the palm of his hand as they parted. The touch made him catch his breath. He thought he saw a slight blush in Anne's cheeks but she looked away before he could be sure.
"Anne I would love to catch up with you some more. I hope you don't mind if I stop often. We could rediscover some of our old haunts together."
"I would like that very much. I am afraid I feel somewhat like a stranger around here these days.
"I know the feeling. Avonlea will always be home, but somehow it doesn't feel the same." Gilbert was wistful. He knew it could feel the same with Anne around.
"Well, I should probably get back. My mother made me promise not to be gone too long." Anne did not want to lose him just yet.
"Can I walk you home?" she asked.
"Of course. I would like that."
They fell easily into conversation on the way, reminiscent of their old comradeship. Anne filled him in on Summerside and Gilbert gave her the particulars of all that winning the Cooper Prize had entailed. It was no wonder he almost killed himself. They reached the Blythe gate and stood talking for another long while until Anne noticed Gilbert had begun to look rather tired.
"Oh Gil, I am sorry, I have kept you out all this time. You better go in an get some rest."
"Anne I could talk to you all day, but I think you're right. I am not quite back to my old self just yet," Gilbert acknowledged.
"I am sure it will take some time. Take care of yourself!" Anne ordered with a smile.
"Yes, ma'am! Don't worry, my mother will make sure of it. Thank you for walking with me, Anne. It was nice to catch up."
"Until we meet again then… which I hope is soon," said Anne. They both turned to leave when suddenly Anne turned back and said, "Gil, um, just one more thing." Gilbert turned back around and faced Anne. "What is it?"
"Well, ah, my flowers, at Convocation… Thank you! They were beautiful. And they really meant so much to me. I just wanted to say thank you for sending them."
Ah, the flowers, what didn't Gilbert want to say about this topic? There was so much to be said that he didn't know where to start. He knew any conversation about the flowers would have to involve a conversation about Roy Gardner. He was too tired and run down to have that conversation now so he only said, "You're welcome, Anne. It meant a lot to me see you carry them. You were absolutely radiant at Convocation."
Anne blushed hotly and turned away slightly. "Take care, Gil," was all she replied. "See you soon."
"Bye, Anne."
Gilbert walked inside exhausted, but also strangely energized. He knew he would play the events of the day over in his mind, but now he needed to rest. He let his mother know he was home and went up to his room to rest. As he drifted off to sleep all he could think about was the feel of Anne's soft fingers on the palm of his hand and the excitement he felt upon knowing she was back in his life.
Anne walked back to Green Gables with a million thoughts in her mind. The happiness she felt for Gilbert's health was foremost, but along with it came the bitterness of knowing she was too late. Gilbert saw her now only as a friend. But she was resolved to not let it consume her. Gilbert wanted her friendship and she would give it to him. If there was one thing Anne did know, she needed him in her life. She could be happy enough being just his friend. She could be happy enough knowing her Gilbert was back. But no, he wasn't her Gilbert. He was very likely someone else's Gillbert. She couldn't bring herself to think of Christine again so she chose instead to think that whatever Christine was or wasn't to him, Gilbert's first call had been to Anne. They were rekindling a friendship Anne had once lost all hope of ever having again. That, for the moment, was enough for her to be quite satisfied.