a/n: Many of you guys may have not know this, but I have a new story out and I published it a few weeks ago. Once I finish this story, I will be trying to regularly update between FH and the new story DT. I really like it so far and I hope you do to.

Chapter 31

Tris' POV

It's been six weeks since my leg injury which is probably the biggest relief ever. Although this cast gave me an excuse to be lazy, I have been starting to get extremely impatient with everything and everyone around me.

It feels like everyone one is purposely ticking me off. And don't get me started on Caleb. Apparently he thinks that me being on crutches means that I am free to do all the sitting down chores. One time, after I finished studying for my two AP class tests, he practically threw a laundry basket at my face and told me to start folding.

But eventually I moved past it because I 'accidentally' put temporary pink hair dye in his shampoo.

I had a great laugh. Even my mom thought it was so funny, she did it to my dad because of some petty bet they made. It was quite funny as well. Oh blackmail...I took so many pictures.

But point is, it is the biggest relief that these crutches and cast are finally gone. I am able to walk normally with the slight exception of my barely noticeable limp. Caleb also thought it would be funny to trip me causing me to fall on my face twisting my ankle on the way to the floor.

Caleb can be quite the sibling. However, I still love him nonetheless.

The forecast of today is a dark gloomy gray. It's for sure going to rain and I'm so excited. I love the rain, but not to the point where the rain droplets feels like stabs to the skin.

School has been a great bore. What once used to be so much fun and filled with joy, is now filled with anxiety and dreadfulness.

I stare at the empty pond where ducks would usually be happily swimming in. I sit criss-crossed under a tree as I let my mind run wild.

My stupid therapist tells me to go outside and set some time aside for myself. Like I need it. Maybe I do, but nevertheless, I find myself out in this meadow quite often.

After a while of pondering, I focus my attention back to my homework trying to complete it all before my ice skating practice. But of course, to my luck, it starts to lightly drizzle.

"Fuckshit. Great, just great. What has my life become?" I pack my things up and put them back into my bag. I then proceed to walk home to where Caleb will be. He's the one who has to drive me everywhere. Ha.

My phone vibrates from my pocket and I grab it. I get a text message from Caleb stating that he is already here to pick me up. I walk about a bit to look for him and finally find him parked near the water fountains on his phone. I knock lightly on the window and he unlocks the car door for me to enter.

By the time I enter, it is full on pouring outside and I am soaked from head to toe.

"Woah, it's pouring outside. Aren't you cold?" I give him a look.

"Okay, that was a dumb question. Here, let me turn on the heater."

"Thanks." Instantly, I feel the heat radiating from the fans hitting and making contact with my shivering body. I turn on the stereo and sync my phone with the car radio. I start playing music from my phone, not that Caleb cares and sings along with the lyrics.

Caleb doesn't bother to make conversation with me and I'm glad because I don't feel like talking. So instead, we sit with one another in a comfortable silence as he drives to our destination.

We finally reach the ice skating rink within ten minutes. We say our goodbyes and he tells me he'll come around 7:30 to pick me up after my practice. I sling my bag behind my back and walk towards the inside of the building.

I greet Richard as I walk through the main entrance. He's the one who you would pay to if you wanted to come and skate. But since he knows I'm a regular and I make my payments at the end of the month, he just nods and smiles then looks away.

I change into my dark blue skating leotard and skates and then proceed to make my way in the rink.

I'm a little clumsy at first because I haven't been here in a month and a half, but I finally get my rhythm make after a few minutes.

My coach and mentor, Gianna is late, as usual. She has a terrible habit of being late but I love her nonetheless.

I always enjoyed ice skating because it provides me with a sense of freedom and the ability to do whatever I want with such limited time. It makes me feel so good about my skating abilities especially since I to try to win as many gold medals during competitions as possible.

Gianna helps whip me back into shape giving me very strict instructions on how to improve my forms and jumps.

Relatively speaking, when comparing myself to other skaters I'm not as flexible as them. Sometimes I pull too many muscles while doing standing splits than anything else.

I loose my balance and form several times throughout my three hours. More than several, really. I fall like after ever jump and spins, but it is what it is. I'm not perfect and I'm obviously going to fall. A lot.

Time seems to be something that I completely do not prioritize because I don't even realize that my practice is over when it is.

After changing back to my normal attire, I exit the building and send a quick text to Caleb.

The rink has to lock up because it usually closes when I finish my practice.

It feels like the world is a floppy gray color as the rain continues to make contact with the ground.

Caleb tells me he's not coming for another ten minutes due to the traffic. I don't blame him. There always seems to be traffic when it rains anywhere, really.

Unfortunately to my luck, there are no covers I can hide under so I'm stuck standing in the rain.

As I continue to wait for Caleb, I see headlights approaching me and stopping right in front of where I am standing. I immediately recognize the car but I stand still. My eyes glare at the wet group as I see the shoes of the person approaching me. The rain suddenly stops making contact with me but I still can hear it hitting the ground.

A bright yellow umbrella is placed over my head but I don't dare say or thank the person.

"Hi." Tobias says.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, my eyes still looking straight forward.

"I wanted to talk with you." I can feel the heat radiating from his body onto mine. My head only reaches just below his collarbone which is a little sad. But in reality, it's actually really nice dating a guy almost a foot taller than me. What am I saying? I'm not even dating anyone at the moment.

"What do you want to talk about?" I finally turn to him but at the same time, I want to run away as far as possible just so I don't have to talk to him. I don't want him to see me in a weak and vulnerable state.

"I want you back." Okay...I was not mentally prepared for this.

"Tobias," I shake my head. "I think you should go home. It's super cold out and I don't want you getting sick."

He looks at me with those eyes. Gosh, those eyes.

"No. I'll stay with you. You must be freezing. Here." He takes off his jacket with one arm and puts it on top of my shoulder. He doesn't even give me time to react.

"Tobias, you're wasting your time. You should just go home."

"I love you, Tris. Isn't that enough?"

"I loved you too, but I guess everything that ever happened between us wasn't enough. So I don't know Tobias. I'm having a hard time distinguishing between your lies and when you're telling the truth because obviously these days you're having a hard time being truthful to me. Love is being unconditional and having trust and if you can't trust me to tell me about your get together with Lauren, then I don't know." I stare at the ground as I say these words. I don't even know if they make sense of not, but all I can register are words coming out of my mouth.

"You should go home." I say once again. "This isn't worth your time. Like me." Sometimes I wonder if we could ever be fixed. I feel like our relationship always have some faults to it, and I don't think that we'll ever be back to normal.

I start to walk away just so I don't have to be near him. I don't even care that I'm freezing cold and shivering I just don't want to deal with this right now.

But he grabs my arm before I can fully walk away. "But you are worth it to me."

The umbrella hits the ground barely making any noise against the loud rain. He pulls me flush against his body and once again, heat rushes through my body. He cups my face and leans in close. I can feel our breathing mixing together as his eyes search mine. He has to fully bend just so he can reach me.

His soft lips make contact with mine and it takes me a while to register what is happening. I loose myself into the kiss until I realize how wrong his is.

I push him back and shake my head a little to wildly.

"We can't. I can't. No, no. Tobias, you can't just kiss me and expect everything to be better."

"Tell me you didn't feel that. Tell me you didn't feel those sparks flying." He hugs me close and rests his forehead on mine.

"Tobias," I close my eyes. "We can't."

"Tell me and look me in the eyes." I lift my head and try to let the words slip out, but they won't come out.

"Give me another chance, please." My chest aches and I want to scream and thrash. I wish he didn't have so much control over me.

"You can't keep doing this. You can't keep breaking my heart. It's not fair, Tobias. I feel like every time you break it, you take a part of me with you. I don't want to lose myself in the process. How do I know you're not just going to betray my trust again? I can't keep giving you chances. How do I know that one day you're going to realize I'm just a joke and leave again? I don't want to lose myself any longer."

"Then trust me. Can you do that?"

"I did. But that didn't work out, did it now? And you aren't very good at keeping promises either." I state.

"Tell me you don't want me and I won't bother you ever again."

I advent my eyes away from him and stare at an old beat up car in the parking lot.

"I," I pause for a few seconds, "I don't want you anymore."

He lifts up my chin and forces me to look at him. I continue to look at the car. "I don't want you."

"Look me in the eyes and say it." When my eyes meet his, I find myself unable to let the words out. I hate how he does this to me.

Where the fuck is Caleb?

"I love you." I say. There are always those cliché sayings to "listen to your heart" and whatnot. Maybe it's the sudden implications to do so, and I know I'm making a huge mistake, but God damnit. I don't care anymore. Part of me is screaming, 'What the hell are you thinking?! Retreat! Retreat!', but the other part of me just wants to run into his arms and never ever let him go ever again. So I listen to that part.

"We're going to have to fix our broken patches, though."

"Yes, yes." He nods his head.

What the hell are you doing, Tris? Retreat! You literally just said you two can never be fixed!

"You have to be honest with me. If I ever find out you're keeping things from me, I'm ending it on the spot."

"I can deal with that."

Tris, you need to stop this. Right now!

"I love you. You can't hurt me, ever again. You need to swear."

"I swear. I cross my heart. I love you, Tris. I love you so so much."

'I give up', my conscious says. 'I quit. I'm not doing this again.'

I hope I made the right decision. Call me bipolar, call me anything, but I really really hope I just made the right decision, especially since I was just saying how I don't think we should be in a relationship. My mother told me to forgive people for their sins. She told me that sometimes things happen for a reason and I just have to understand the back stories for people's actions. I hope that one day Tobias and I will be back to normal. But now, I can only just hope.

"You okay?" Caleb asks me halfway through the car ride home. "You seem a little off."

"I think I just made a mistake. But I really hope it was worth it."

"Can you get any more vague?"

"Tobias and I are back together."

He whistles lowly. "Do you think you made the right choice?"

"Gosh, I hope so. It's complicated, but I hope everything works out eventually."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."