Chapter Sixty-two

For Cryin' Out Loud

"Please, just five more minutes," Dee begged.

"We can't wait that long," Rachel said firmly, though she didn't look happy about it. "Rocky and the others are from around here, they have friends they can call, people who can pick them up."

"What if they get caught?" Dee whined.

"We'll bust them out," Sandra told her absently, scanning the park for signs of the guys.

"Really?" Dee asked hopefully.

"Honest," Sandra promised. Rachel sent her a disapproving look, knowing they'd do nothing of the sort. They were petty thieves, not escape artists.

"I just don't want anything to happen to Conner," Dee said, wringing her hands. "He's really cool, and he's smart, and he's funny—"

"Hot, too," Rachel remarked, rolling her eyes.

"And wearing your ski mask," Sandra added dryly.

"Yeah, it took her hours to embroider that thing," Rachel agreed.

"There he is!" Dee screamed, pointing wildly. "With Zack!"

"Thank God," Sandra breathed.

Rachel started the truck, now looking worried. "Yeah, but where's Rocky?"

"Smart move, ditching the masks and the shirts," Dee said happily.

Sandra nodded. "Blending in with all the other joggers, keeping themselves from being identified…"

"Who cares, as long as their shirts are off?" Rachel said with a smirk.

Conner reached the truck first; before anyone could say anything, he'd grabbed hold of the window frame, jumped, pulled his legs up and pushed them through the window. He twisted to get his upper body inside and then hopped into the back seat as if he did it every day.

"Hey!" Dee gushed, grinning broadly.

"Hey," Conner said with his most charming smile.

Zack then climbed in through the window the same way Conner had, only he settled in comfortably between Sandra and Rachel. "Hey, ladies," he said, as casually as if he'd just sidled up to them in a nightclub. Then he nudged Rachel. "Hop out so Rocky can get in. He's not far behind us."

"Oh, good," Rachel breathed, popping the door handle. "Did you lose the cops?"

"Oh, yeah, ages ago," Zack replied. "Sorry, but we had to ditch the shovel; it was a dead giveaway. Tried to wipe the fingerprints off with my shirt, though."

"We'd've done the same," Rachel assured him as she jumped down out of the truck. "Well, granted, we wouldn't have taken our shirts off—"

"Please. You know you would have," Sandra interrupted with a snort.

"Only if I had to," Rachel insisted.

"Hey, there's Rocky!" Conner yelled.

"Thank god," Zack said, eyes darting to Adam's Mercedes, parked haphazardly next to the truck.

Rocky raced down the path, leaped off the curb, and dived into the truck. Rachel scrambled onto his lap, slammed the door, and threw the truck into reverse.

"Everyone okay?" Rocky asked, letting his head sag onto Rachel's shoulder as he gasped for air.

"Fine," they all chorused.

"Thank god," Rocky gasped. "I think that cop lives down the street from my uncle."

"Nice of Jase to take one of them out for us, at least," Zack pointed out, attempting to cheer Rocky up.

Rocky nodded and looked up at the dashboard. "I'm kind of new at this whole running-from-the-cops thing, but shouldn't you be flooring it?"

Rachel shook her head. "Too suspicious. They didn't make the truck, so if we act like we didn't do anything wrong, we've got a good chance of getting out of this completely undetected."

"Ah. Okay. Hey, Conner?" Rocky called.

"Yeah, Rocky?"

"What have we learned about chatting up dog-walkers while wearing ski masks?"

"Sorry. Won't happen again."

"Oh, great," Trini muttered as she and Adam approached the parking lot. Jason had called her to tell her to meet up at the car, and Trini had run into Adam halfway there. She'd been hoping to find Rocky, Conner and Zack in the parking lot so they could cringe before her, but not only were they nowhere in sight, Jason and Billy hadn't arrived yet and the orange truck was now missing.

"What does that mean, do you think?" Adam wondered. "I mean, did the girls drive off without them, or are they all safely on their way to the Havoc Center?"

"Who knows?" Trini said wearily, rubbing at her eye. "I can't believe I let that twit nail me with a freaking marker."

"I think it's swelling," Adam said, pulling Trini's hand away so he could peer at it.

"Good news!" called Jason, jogging up with Billy at his side.

"You found them?" Adam asked eagerly, Trini's eye forgotten.

"Huh? No. Hayley's coming down for Power Rangers Day. I think. I mean, she was kind of drunk, but she said she'll drive in tomorrow, should get here about one in the morning—"

"You're buttering us up," Trini accused. "You're trying to tell us good news so that we won't get angry."

"Told you she'd figure it out," Billy muttered. Jason winced.

Jason sighed, absently fidgeting with his shirt, which still bore wet stains from greeting Steven. "Well, the good news is, they're safe for the moment. The bad news is two cops are out looking for them. One of them was on the football team with us and Zack—Steven… something. Steven Q-something. Can't remember his last name for the life of me."

"You'd think we'd have remembered, since they put our last names on our jerseys," Billy mused.

"Honey, is your eye swelling up?" Jason asked in concern.

"Quit stalling," Trini said sharply.

Jason sighed. "Steven Q-something and his partner Jarel got a call about a guy upsetting a dog-walker. Apparently they went chasing Rocky, Zack and Conner through the park. They ran right by me, at which point I knocked Steven into a stream to slow him down. The other one kept up the chase, but the guys eventually escaped."

"Are you serious?" Adam hissed.

"Unfortunately," Jason replied grimly.

"Yes, but their identities are secure for the time being," Billy said. "They were wearing ski masks."

"Where did they get—no, don't tell me," Adam groaned.

"I told you so," Trini growled. "I told you so!"

"You were right, babe," Jason said soothingly. "Look, Rocky and Zack didn't answer their phones when I called, but that's probably because I must've called in the middle of a mad dash back here, to the truck."

"We don't know if they were in it," Adam said. "It was gone when we got here."

"The cops had lost them by the time I called you. There's a good chance."

"Whew," Adam breathed. "So what now?"

"Well, since Rocky and Zack aren't answering their phones—"

"Conner," Trini interrupted. "I have Conner's number."

"Since when?" Jason demanded.

"I had Hayley send me a list of all the Dino Rangers' contact information a long time ago," Trini said. "When we decided to update the secret code list." She quickly pulled Conner's number from her phone contacts and hit send.

"Uh, hello?" Conner answered uncertainly on the third ring.

"Conner? It's Trini."

"…How'd you get my number?"

"Long story. Where are you?"

"Um, I think we just turned onto… I think it's Salzgaber Avenue. I don't know; it's hard to pronounce."

"Put Rocky on the phone."

"Rocky! She wants to talk to you." There was a pause. "Trini." Longer pause. "Rocky says he's unconscious right now."

"Conner, tell Rocky I'll pickle his entrails if he doesn't wake his ass up."

"Rocky, she said she'll get some pickles and entrails—"

There was a bit of miscellaneous background noise, and then Rocky picked up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah? Yeah? Don't you 'yeah' me! Do you have any idea what—?"

"Can't you yell at me in person? When Zack's in front of you, too?"

Trini rolled her eyes, but even though Rocky was just trying to delay the inevitable, being able to scream at them both at once had a lot of appeal. "Where are you?"

"Driving. Rachel said they need to go lie low, so they're going to drop us off outside the city."

"Can't they just drop you off at your place? It's not far, is it?"

"They want to put some distance between them and Stone Canyon, and it's their truck. Think you can pick us up when they do?"

"We ought to just strand you in the desert."

"Can't yell at us if you do."

Trini smiled in spite of herself. "All right. Call us as soon as you stop."

"Will do. And, um, sorry for…"

"Making us worry? Making us hunt all over the park? Making Jason throw a police officer into a creek? Making us drive to god-knows-where to pick you up from your little brush with the law?"

"Yeah," Rocky said. "I think you're forgetting something, but that should pretty much cover it."

Trini shook her head. "I'll forgive you eventually."

"Later, Trini."

"Bye." Trini hung up. "The psycho girls are getting out of the city, and then they're going to drop the guys off somewhere. They'll need us to come get them."

"What if they're not dropping them off somewhere? What if they're planning to leave their dead bodies in the desert?" Adam demanded.

"Somehow, I can't imagine Rocky, Zack or Conner falling victim to decapitation," Billy said soothingly.

"They just outran two guys with badges and guns; I'm sure they can take three girls with an axe," Jason added. He held up his wrist to check his watch. "Well, look at that. It's almost seven-thirty. What say we go pick up Tommy while we wait for Rocky, Zack and Conner?"

"Tommy? He'll be furious! Shouldn't we do that after we've established that Conner is utterly safe?" Billy asked.

"Nah, see, I don't think so. I think we should tell Tommy all about how Zack and Rocky had a bit of a run-in with a few police officers and had to run for their lives," Jason said mischievously, flipping his phone open with a snap.

Anna had expected Tommy to be the most fascinating analysis she'd ever made. She had dreamed of meeting the messed-up guy from the Ferris wheel once again, getting in his head and not only understanding him, but making him understand himself. She was incredibly disappointed.

Tommy did have quirks and layers and bad habits induced by former events. The trouble was he knew all about it. He knew exactly who he was, why he did what he did, what caused him to be what he was. True, he didn't seem like he always admitted his reasons to himself, but deep down he knew each and every flaw and strength. He was complex beyond belief, but he'd already figured himself out, which meant Anna didn't have to analyze him.

Yet analyze she did, because even as Tommy poured his heart out to her, about being adopted, about finding his long-lost brother, about college and becoming a scientist, about Kimberly and every other relationship since her, it became apparent that there was some deep dark secret he was harboring. Something that had happened to him that he wouldn't share, couldn't share, but had already examined himself.

"Someone should study you," Anna told him as they meandered past the petting zoo, heading for the entrance to rendezvous with the others. "You'd be a fascinating thesis."

Tommy chuckled. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"So what is it?"

"What is what?"

"That big, huge thing that defines your life that you won't tell me about. That thing that makes you amend half the things you tell me, until you're giving me all these carefully-constructed stories rather than the real deal."

He shook his head, smiling in a guarded, almost mysterious sort of way. "Sorry. If I told you that, I'd have to kill you, or my friends would. Nothing personal, just… not gonna happen."

Anna shrugged. "You'll tell me eventually."

That seemed to amuse him. "Oh, I will, will I?"

"Everyone cracks given enough time."

"Well, you're in for a long wait."

"I'm pretty damned patient, buddy."

"Okay, then." Tommy groaned as his phone rang. "Dear God, what now?"

"Is it Ethan?" Anna asked, trying not to sound too eager.

He shook his head. "Jason." Tommy leaned against the railing that marked the line for the house of mirrors and pressed the phone to his ear. "What's up, Jase?"

"Got a little story to tell you."

"If it involves you peeing in Adam's Mercedes—"

"Huh?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. "You told me you had to pee while driving to the Havoc Center. Come on, bro, if you're going to come up with excuses, you gotta keep them straight."

"Sorry. A lot's happened since then. How'd it go with Kimberly?"

"I'll tell you later."

"She with you right now?"

"Nah. Stormed off after a little… incident. Anyway, you said you had a story for me?"

"Yeah. Listen, you cool if we come pick you up now?"

"Sure. Anna and I are on our way to meet up with Trent, Ethan, Kira and Kim."

"Now who's failing to keep the excuses straight? What happened to 'they disappeared on me,' huh?"

"That doesn't count. You saw through that one."

"And you didn't see through 'I have to go pee in Adam's Mercedes'?"

"…Is there a point to this conversation?"

"Not anymore. Anyway, we'll meet you at the Jeep, okay?"

"Sure. See you soon." Tommy hung up and he and Anna started walking. "We should get together again soon. I have the whole summer off."

"Me too. Don't start college until fall."

"You're not working over the summer?"

"Don't have to. Grandma left me a trust fund, a '95 Buick and a bunch of antique furniture. I'll be set financially at least through college, and I figured I'd take at least this one summer off from doing anything, since I'll be working nonstop for my doctorate."

"It's not fun," Tommy said emphatically.

"Oh, hey, are you going to Power Rangers Day?" Anna asked.

"Might put in a cameo," Tommy said dryly.

"Maybe I'll see you there. My sister and Rick and I are going together."

"You'll probably see me there," Tommy said with an ironic grin.

"Dr. O!" called Trent, waving at him. He and Ethan were a few feet from the admissions booths, leaning against the fence that ran around the carnival's perimeter. "You seen Kira and Kimberly?"

"No. I assumed Kira would find a way to get Kim back here, but she must've had a hard time convincing Kimberly to meet us. Why don't you call her?" Tommy suggested, not wanting to speak to Kimberly before he absolutely had to.

Trent nodded and fished in his pocket for his phone. Anna sighed and said, "Well, I should be getting back to the Ferris wheel. Call me sometime next week or something, okay, Tommy?"

"Yeah, sure."

Anna turned to Ethan. "This was fun."

"Yeah," Ethan said, swallowing hard and trying to remember what Conner, Kira and Trent had taught him in "dating boot camp." He didn't remember much beyond the horrors of doing the tango with Conner, wondering how Trent knew the proper way to sip champagne, and trying to puzzle out what idiot came up with the idea of putting a thorny flower between one's teeth.

"So I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, I'll email you when I get back from this vacation," Ethan said. "I'll be pretty busy until then."

They said their goodbyes, and Anna turned and wandered off through the steadily thinning crowd of carnival-goers. Tommy watched her go with a fond smile. It was nice to reconnect with the random bystanders whose lives he'd stumbled into for a few moments, especially the ones like Anna, whose lives he'd inadvertently changed.

"You're where?" Trent demanded, and Tommy's instincts went off like fire truck sirens. "What do you mean, you got banned?"

"Oh, no," Tommy sighed.

"You got in a fight with Kimberly?" Trent repeated incredulously. "Are you okay?" Trent cringed. "I didn't mean it like that. Of course you can hold your own. I know that… Kira… It's okay… That's not what I… Goat? Okay. Okay. Slow down! Okay. Meet us by the Jeep, okay? Bye." Trent hung up, looking utterly bewildered. "She said she and Kimberly got thrown out for injuring a goat."

"A… what?" Ethan asked.

"A goat," Trent repeated, completely mystified. "So they went to that empty field next to the carnival lot and did a little sunbathing. At least, I think that's what she was saying. She sounds… odd."

"Did Kimberly hurt her?" Tommy demanded.

"I don't think so. I tried to ask, but she got offended, like I was insulting her fighting skills."

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Come on. Let's get them and go wait for Jason."

Nervous and confused, the three of them headed back towards the Jeep. The parking lot was half-empty by now; most of the carnival's patrons had started trickling out by five, especially families with young children who'd managed to run themselves ragged by mid-afternoon—including Davey, the little boy with the love of clowns, who was chattering happily to his weary mother about how cool it was to see Tinkle and Bonkers and how he hoped he'd get to see a clown fight again next year. Tommy dove out of sight until Davey and his mother had gone by, not wanting to deal with a little kid who thought he was "Butch, the Multi-colored Strong Man." When he resurfaced, he saw Kira and Kimberly come strolling up. Tommy, Trent and Ethan's jaws dropped.

The two girls were practically glowing, though it was hard to see why. Both of them were dirty and had scratches on their arms and legs, and a bruise here or there. Their hair looked like they'd just taken a trip on an F-5 tornado, and bits of what could have been hay were stuck in the strands. The shirt Kimberly had stolen from Tommy had a rip in the sleeve, and Kira's denim flood pants were covered in grass stains.

"That was so awesome," Kira gushed, the odd look in her eye and her battered appearance bringing to mind the words "punch-drunk."

"Tell me about it!" Kimberly shrieked, looking like it was all she could do to keep from dancing.

"But I thought you two got in a fight," Ethan said slowly.

"We did," Kira told him. "It must've gone on for a half hour, until Kimberly kicked me into that goat."

"The goat's fine," Kimberly assured them. "It was more startled and annoyed than hurt."

"Where did you get a goat?" Trent asked, in the desperate sort of tone used by one who needs an explanation and is sure that none will be forthcoming.

"The petting zoo."

"You got in a fight in the petting zoo," Ethan said, as though trying to piece together a puzzle.

"No, we got in a fight near the pirate ship," Kira told him, making it clear that she thought Ethan was being silly.

"That's across the carnival from the pirate ship," Tommy pointed out, frowning.

"Yeah. We kind of wandered," Kira explained. "I know we were by the Tilt-a-Whirl at some point, because I thought it was cool how I knocked Kimberly towards that psychic lady, Elena Luna, and even though she had her back to us she sidestepped at just the right moment…"

"We kicked each other's asses all up and down that park," Kimberly exclaimed, bouncing about on the balls of her feet. "Eventually I knocked Kira into a hay barrel in the petting zoo, and we were fighting in there for a minute, and then I kicked Kira into that goat and the next thing I know this creepy old man—the type of guy whose wife dresses him in overalls so he won't end up mooning everyone—puts a pitchfork to my throat—"

"And then we were escorted out," Kira finished. "We were screaming at each other the whole while, struggling—I'm pretty sure I broke the nose of that game attendant from the water gun race—"

"Oh, my god," Tommy moaned.

"So then we get out on the sidewalk, right," Kira continued, "and we just start laughing, and chattering, and then we walked over to that field over there—"

Kimberly cut in. "And then we stripped down to our underwear and did some sunbathing—"

"And we talked and talked about everything and nothing and watched the clouds go by and it was so much fun," Kira went on excitedly.

"What a rush," Kimberly sighed.

The two girls beamed at each other, then turned back to the guys, all of whom looked quite blank. "We lose you guys somewhere?" Kira inquired.

"Underwear," Trent explained vaguely.

"Ah." Kira nodded. "Ooh! Kimberly taught me one of her songs, wanna hear? It's called 'How Dare You.' You little bastard, you make me sick, how dare you do this, what a cruel trick, I can't believe I fell—"

"Kimberly wrote that?" Ethan interrupted, struggling to process.

"It was about Tommy," Kimberly said, waving her hand dismissively.

Tommy drew himself up indignantly. "Hey!"

"I was mad," Kimberly told him, her tone flippant. "It was one of those spur-of-the-moment things."

"Wanna hear the chorus?" Kira asked eagerly.

"No," Tommy said firmly. He started to say something else, but just then a horn beeped and they looked up to see the Mercedes parking nearby. Billy, Trini, Jason and Adam piled out and rushed over, looking eager.

"How's it going?" Jason asked Tommy brightly.

"Great, except I caught Ethan making out with Anna—"

"You did?" Ethan interrupted in alarm, but Tommy ignored him.

"—and then Kira and Kimberly got themselves banned from the carnival for accidental cruelty to goats because they thought it would be fun to kick each other's butts and then go do a little semi-public nude sunbathing while writing songs about how I'm a jerk. How are you, Jase?"

Billy, Trini, Jason and Adam stared at him.

"Nude?" Adam echoed.

"Not nude. In underwear," Kira clarified. "It might as well have been a swimsuit." She grinned. "Oh, I'm gonna be so sore tomorrow."

"It'll be worth it," Kimberly promised. "That was the most exhilarating fight I've had in years."

"Aw, damn," Jason sighed. "And here I thought we were gonna have the best story to tell."

"We definitely don't have nudity," Adam agreed.

"Don't worry," Trini said. "At least ours involves running from the cops, ski masks and swelling from injuries caused by Sharpie markers."

Tommy's heart not only sank, it dropped to his feet, seeped into the cement and began digging a hole to China. "Ski masks?"

"Affirmative," Billy said. "Oh, and you remember Steven, um, Q-something from the football team? He's a Stone Canyon police officer now."

Tommy took a deep calming breath. "Okay, I get it now," Tommy said. He looked askance up at the sky. "Watching The Truman Show was a sign, right? I'm actually locked in some sort of bio-sphere for the amusement of others via reality TV. It's the only explanation. That's it, isn't it?"

"I know I'd watch," Trent said, shaking his head as Kira and Kimberly simultaneously burst out into another round of "How Dare You."

End Notes: So there you are. We're trying to fly through as much of this story as possible before Power Morphicon, simply because Power Morphicon seemed like a good milestone. I can't promise this update rate will continue, but we've been pretty inspired lately. By the way, the three of us—CrazyGirl47, Freyja SilverWillow, and Bryn Spikess—will be attending Power Morphicon (unless one of us manages to piss off a really cruel god between now and June), so hopefully we'll see some of you there.

Congratulations to moonlite-n-roses, our two thousandth reviewer, and thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, from those that said two words to those that left two pages. We're beyond awed that this story—which is, let's face it, just a cleverly-disguised, really long crack fic—became so popular.