Here is the penultimate chapter. What does Diana have in store for Gilbert? There will be one more chapter after this before I link you all back up with "Love take up the glass of time" (and possibly an epilogue of sorts). I hope you enjoy this installment. I really wanted to bring Diana into it as a part of Anne's happily ever after, because it just made sense to me. She's danced around these two for years and she's finally had enough:) Gilbert's eleven years of torture are finally laid to rest. Thanks so much for all your thoughtful reviews, I appreciate them all.
Diana Wright had never once wavered in her loyalty as a friend. From the moment she and Anne joined hands and swore their eternal oath of friendship in the garden of Orchard Slope, Diana had indeed been a true friend. Thinking back to that day she remembered the sincerity of Anne's vow and the almost desperate need she had to have Diana in her life. Diana remembered thinking the whole thing was a little queer at first. But after she solemnly swore to be a faithful and true friend to Anne Shirley, the vow settled in her heart and remained a guiding principle in word and deed.
So it was with no little angst that she thought of how to bring about Anne's happiness with Gilbert without betraying her trust. She would never tell Gilbert outright that Anne loved him. And Anne had made her promise no to ask him about his supposed engagement, a promise she regretted making. But if she could just talk to Gilbert, maybe persuade him to divulge a little information to her, she could help her friend realize her dream. Diana wasn't keen on interfering, but she had vowed to be a faithful and bosom friend as long as the sun and moon endured. As both the celestial and lunar entities still did in fact endure, Diana decided that it was only right to help her friend to the happiness she deserved.
So with her mind quite made up, she braced herself for Gilbert's visit. He was to arrive early, after breakfast and help Fred until lunch. Since Fred would then have to return to work, Diana was hoping to steal a few minutes with Gilbert in private before he left.
And so it happened. Fred and Gilbert spent several hours working, watering, and planting. Gilbert felt good, so good in fact that he had almost forgot about the typhoid that ravaged his body only weeks earlier. His parents gave credit for his quick recovery to good constitution. Not one to argue breeding, Gilbert admitted only to himself that Anne probably had more to do with the speed of his recovery than anything else. That he was able to physically perform hours of manual labor was no small feat. He had offered a full day of help, knowing Fred was behind on some planting, but Fred was already uneasy about accepting his help and insisted that a half a day would do just fine.
By lunchtime, Fred and Gilbert were quite famished. They cleaned up and decided to break for lunch. Diana did not disappoint and they both had their fill. Diana was prepared to ask to follow Gilbert out on the pretense of taking baby Fred for a walk.
Such was her plan but she was relieved when instead of rising to leave when Fred returned to the fields, Gilbert asked Diana if he might stay a few minutes to visit with baby Fred.
"Of course, I am sure he would be delighted to see you!" Diana said as she handed Fred over to a smiling Gilbert. "Funny, Gilbert, I never imagined you to be so enamored with babies. Most men aren't unless they're fathers. Fred pretty well dotes on him."
Gilbert couldn't say why he had wanted to stay and visit with Fred. He had enjoyed the times he had come with Anne. But even without her there, something about Diana holding the tiny bundle made him think of his future. That perhaps at the end of this journey he was on, he might one day find the happiness of being a father. He took the sleeping baby in his arms and gently caressed Fred's red face. "I didn't really know I liked babies either. I never had any siblings growing up and have never really been around any that were close to me. I have a few younger cousins but they never lived near. But something about just being here and seeing him, I guess it makes me realize I want to be a father someday."
Diana almost laughed at the opportunity that was presenting itself. She thought she might have to guide Gilbert around to talk of marriage and family and here he was offering it to her with no trouble at all.
"Well, when the day comes Gilbert, I am sure you will be an excellent father. You seem to have a way with babies. Little Fred was all smiles the last time you and Anne were here. I am sure he would be again if he were awake." Diana was quite pleased with herself for bringing Anne up so naturally. And even more pleased when Gilbert took the bait as he said, "I am sure you give me too much credit. Anne could charm anyone; and little Fred here is no exception." Looking back at the baby, Gilbert fought to stifle a thought that one day the baby he cradled might be his and Anne's. Maybe he would have her eyes, his dark hair, and a spirit all their mother's. He let out a small sigh that did not go unnoticed by his companion.
"Yes, Anne does have that way about her. I can't tell you how happy I was to know you two are close again. It almost feels like it did back in our old AVIS days. We had such good times together."
"Indeed we did!" Gilbert said absently. Shaking off his thoughts of babies with Anne, he realized he might have an opportunity to talk to Diana and gain a little insight into Anne's feelings. He wasn't crazy enough to think Diana would reveal any kind of secret between them, but if he was honest with her, perhaps she might be able to help him. Gilbert wasn't sure what Diana knew, but he could only assume she has been apprised of his proposal and the reason for the distance between them. "Did Anne, tell you – I mean, did she tell you the reason we haven't been close for awhile?"
Diana took a moment before she answered, making sure she tread carefully. "She did. She told me that you proposed to her, but she couldn't accept you."
Gilbert just sighed again and shook his head. Diana, who thought the conversation might wane, was quick to revive it. "I never really heard your version though."
Gilbert wanted to talk to Diana. But he wasn't interested in rehashing painful memories, especially when he and Anne had already worked so hard to put it behind them. "There's really nothing to tell. I asked, she said no. That was pretty much the end of it."
Sensing she hit on a dead end, Diana dropped the subject. Her goal was not to get him to relive painful memories. "Well, in any case, I am glad you were able to get over her and that you two mended fences. Anne was not the same for a while. And now that you are back in her life, I see some spark there again." Diana chose her words carefully and was pleased to see by his reaction that they had hit their mark.
Gilbert's head inadvertently shot up at Diana's words and he looked at her with wide eyes. Get over her? If she only knew! If she only knew the torture he had endured for the last two years! If she only knew the dreams, the longing, the sadness that dwelled in his heart since that day. If she only knew that it was only by sheer force of will and heartbreak that he had won any Cooper Prize. If she only knew the brave front he put on at Redmond to just be able to exist there with Anne. Did Diana really think he was over Anne? It hit him as a reality only when he thought that if Diana had thought that, perhaps Anne did too. In that moment, Gilbert was compelled to again unburden his heart and mind, as he had with his father, to the only other person who knew Anne as well as he did
"Diana!" he began with no real thought to what he would say. "You must be joking! Is that what you really think?" His tone was quiet, but also sounded slightly desperate. Diana was taken aback by his reaction. "You mean do I really think Anne is happy to have you back in her life? Of course I do, how can you question that?" She was now quite confused.
Gilbert shook his head. He stood up, walked over to the basinet and laid baby Fred down gently, kissing his bald head as he did so. When he was finished he looked at Diana, who was still sitting on the sofa, watching with curiosity. Gilbert began to pace a bit and then turned back to Diana. "I don't doubt Anne is happy we are friends again. I was referring to what you said about being glad I am over her. Is that what you think? That I am over Anne?"
"Well, aren't you?" was the simple reply. Diana knew she needed to say no more. She knew the answer and she realized it would be forthcoming, although she did not quite prepare herself for the manner in which it would be delivered.
"Diana, I –" he stopped. There would be no turning back from this. "Diana, I have loved Anne Shirley every day of my life since I was thirteen years old. That didn't change two years ago and it's not likely to change in a hundred more. There is no "getting over her" for me. I tried, believe me, I tried. And for a while there I thought I did. But it didn't take. She is the only woman I have ever loved. If it's even possible I think I love her more now than I did then. Fool that I was, I didn't realize until after she rejected me just how much I had pinned my entire future on the hopes of her saying yes. It was only then, in a way crueler than her rejection that I fell even harder for her. She's my whole world, Diana. She's what Fred and that little baby there are to you, she's my future, my family." The words spilled out of his mouth quickly. They were all the words he wanted to say to Anne but couldn't, they were all the feelings he still had to keep from her and that had sweetly tortured his mind since his recovery. They gave voice to his greatest dreams. He stopped talking and silence fell over the room. He had spoken and he was not sorry for it.
He spoke with such conviction and feeling that Diana could not help happy tears bubbling to the surface. She blinked them away. She was overjoyed! It would have been so easy for her to tell him what she knew. But it was not her place and that was one confidence she would not break. "Gil! I don't know what to say. I mean, I always thought, hoped you two would find your way back to one another."
Gilbert held up hand, "Diana, we are not back to anything. We are just friends."
"But you want to be more." Diana said. She could not hide her smile.
"Of course I do! I want to marry her, I want to have children with her, I want to grow old with her." Gilbert spoke softly but still with the same conviction as before.
"Does Anne know how you feel?" Diana asked, knowing how transparent she was being.
"I expect if she did you would already know Diana." Gilbert said with a knowing smile. Diana shrugged her shoulders innocently.
"I just don't know what to do. There's a part of me that believes that she might be able to love me one day. In fact, I am not sure that she doesn't already." Gilbert finally admitted for the first time out loud.
Diana's shock was evident. Her eyes went wide and her mouth hung open slightly. Gilbert couldn't tell if it was because she thought what he said was so utterly ridiculous or because she knew something he did not. "You think Anne loves you?"
"Yes…maybe, I don't know. It's all very confusing. This whole summer has been amazing. We've talked through our entire past. And she's just different. She used to hold me at arms length. I used to think it was because she hated all the gossip that used to surround us. Before my proposal, our names were linked in Redmond circles and I knew it irritated her. But only seeing what I wanted to see, I ignored it. But now, Diana, it's different. She lets me hold her hand and hug her and I am almost sure she would have let me kiss her."
Diana came undone at this. "You tried to kiss her!"
"No, it wasn't like that. We were just caught up in a moment and I almost did. But before I could, we were interrupted."
"Well Gilbert if this is all true, why don't you just tell her how you feel now? Wouldn't that be one sure way to settle all of this." Diana knew the common sense argument would be lost on Gilbert, as it had been on Anne. But she had to try.
"It's not that easy, Diana. I would love nothing more than to march over to Green Gables right now and propose. But I did that once and it was a disaster. I can't live through another rejection. I would take on typhoid again before I could bear to hear Anne say she could never love me."
Diana's heart went out to him. She understood. She herself had never been heartbroken but she could well imagine losing Fred's love and the thought brought a queasy feeling to her stomach. "Gilbert, are you so sure you will be rejected?" How easy it would be to tell him what she knew!
"I don't know. That's what's torturing me. Anne has been wonderful and has allowed so much. We have aired our past and she's said things that make me think she sees a future with me. But-" he trailed off.
"But what? Gil, I want to help you." Diana did want to help, so very badly.
"She's holding something back from me and I don't know what it is. Its like there is wall between us that I can't breach . I don't think Anne wants it there, but its there all the same. And until I know what it is, I can't be sure. I can't take the risk again. I know I should because she's worth it, but my heart won't let me."
Diana thought she understood, but she needed clarification. "What makes you so sure she's holding anything back?"
"I don't know how to explain it." He thought for a moment. "She makes vague references to things that upset her that affected her behavior where I was concerned. She refuses to talk about much that went on at Redmond the last two years, except for to explain about Roy, and yesterday she told me that she just wants me to be happy and sounded rather sad about it. I don't know what to make of it. I know it sounds like I am looking for excuses, but I am telling you that there's something she's not telling me."
Diana knew instantly what Anne was holding back. But how did she tell him what it was without betraying her promise. Then she realized that there was no promise anymore! She knew for sure for herself that Gilbert was not engaged to Christine, she no longer had to ask him. The thought made her giddy and she grinned widely at Gilbert's somber face.
Taking it the wrong way, Gilbert said, "Geez Diana, I didn't know this was so amusing."
Diana rushed to defend herself, "No, Gil I am not smiling because you are upset. I am smiling because I think I can help you."
Gilbert looked at her amused smile and wondered what she meant. Diana still had to tread carefully. If she said too much she might end up revealing something she shouldn't. And the more she thought about it, she didn't want to be the reason Gilbert knew Anne loved him. She wanted him conclude that on his own. He deserved that for all he had been through. But he also deserved to know the facts so he could draw the proper conclusions.
"Are you saying you know what Anne is holding back?"
"Let me first start off by asking you the questions Anne wouldn't. How did you spend your time at Redmond that last two years?" Diana's caginess was not something she was well versed at, but since she had been married she learned the art of subtleness to drive a point home.
Gilbert was not sure what she was driving at, but if it helped him understand Anne better, he was willing to play her game. "What most people did, I studied, very hard. I spent time with friends, went to social gatherings, and on and on. What does any of that signify?"
"And these friends you spent time with, who were they?" Diana asked.
"Umm, just the normal group, Charlie, Moody, and a few other friends from the boarding house you wouldn't know." Whatever she was up to Gilbert wished she would get to the point. He didn't understand any of this.
"Were any of those friends female?" Diana's tone was passive and nonchalant.
"Well, of course. I was friends with the same people Anne was, Stella, Phil, Priscilla. Although I can't say I spent more time at Patty's Place than I had to after the proposal. But I still saw them from time to time. My good friend had a sister, Christine, who he asked me to look after so did spend a fair amount of time with her." Gilbert sighed, "Where is this all leading, Diana?" He was still oblivious and becoming a little frustrated that he had bared his soul and Diana was refusing to focus. The man and unending patience, but its limits were being tested.
Diana was actually rather enjoying reeling Gilbert in a bit. It might have been a little wicked of her, but she knew the payoff would be worth it for him. Ignoring his question, she continued, "This Christine, just how much time did you spend with her?"
Now Gilbert was beginning to hone in on Diana. He still didn't quite understand, but he would follow it to its conclusion. "I guess you could say a lot. I was her escort to most Redmond functions. She's a very nice girl and we had a good time together."
"Why did you spend so much time with her?"
"I just told you, Diana, we are friends, it was never anything more than that. She helped me take my mind off of Anne while she was courting Roy. But believe me, as nice as she is, she was a poor substitute for Anne. I know college gossip linked our names together with engagement gossip, but that never really bothered me. I knew she was engaged to someone else. It actually made our friendship quite 'safe.'"
"So you knew there was gossip about you being engaged, but you never refuted it? Do you think that was wise?" Diana could hardly believe how easy this was!
Gilbert was now visibly agitated, a trait Diana had rarely seen in him. "Diana, I don't understand what difference it makes who thinks I was engaged to Christine Stuart or what any of this has to do with A…" He stopped midsentence. Thoughts jumped around his brain as he suddenly caught on to what Diana was trying to tell him. That couldn't be it! Could it? Could Anne really think he was engaged to someone else? The change in Gilbert's countenance went from agitated to confused to stunned in a single moment.
Seeing understanding finally dawn on him, Diana broke out into another wide grin as she watched one of her oldest friends process what this meant for his future with the woman he loved.
When at last Gilbert could speak again, he stuttered, "Diana- are you telling me that Anne thinks I am engaged? To Christine Stuart? How could that be?" But it all suddenly made sense. Of course that was it! Diana didn't need to supply him with an answer because as soon as he asked the questions he knew the truth. Anne thought he was engaged!
In that moment the last piece of the puzzle fell into place. Gilbert was elated as his entire understanding changed in an instant. He had flashes in his mind as he remembered moments in his encounters with Anne, moments that now made sense given her understanding. It was only at this moment, as he looked into the shining eyes of Diana Wright, that he saw his future stretch before him. He was forced to admit it now, admit it beyond doubt that Anne Shirley was in love with him.
Diana was again holding back tears. "Diana, I know I have no right to ask this and I know you probably can't tell me, but I am right aren't I? Anne loves me, doesn't she?" His excitement was contagious and Diana could only respond by closing the distance between them and hugging Gilbert affectionately. "You don't need me to answer that, Gil. You already know."
"I can't believe it. I feel like someone has handed me the sun, moon, and stars, and I don't quite know what to do with it." For a man who had just realized a dream he was, he was lost on what to do next.
Diana released him and wiped a tear that finally escaped her eyes. That she could help two people so dear to her find happiness was more than she could hope for as a friend. "Gil, you know what to do, you should go find her.
"Of course I should! Diana, thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me."
"Actually, I think I do. But just remember that if Anne ever asks, technically, I said nothing that I promised not to," she said with a wink. Diana wasn't truly worried about Anne being cross with her. Fred might be another matter, but even he wouldn't be able to argue with the pure joy that registered on Gilbert's face.
"No, Diana, you honestly just helped me realize what I have thought was possible since Anne and I started over. I wouldn't truly allow myself to admit it until today. I just wish she had asked me about Christine! We could have avoided all this confusion."
"If Anne came home engaged to Roy would you have been eager to talk to her about him at all?" Diana asked plainly.
"No, no, I guess you're right. I would have avoided that conversation at all costs," Gilbert admitted with a shake of the head.
Diana and Gilbert chatted lightly for a few more minutes before Gilbert took his leave. He kissed her cheek and thanked her again for her friendship. "You are one in a million Diana Wright! Thank you for talking to me."
"It was my pleasure Gilbert. Now go find Anne. She deserves to know." Gilbert smiled a wide grin, and left the Wrights.
It was several hours later when Fred came in from his labors that he found his wife doing needlework, with a self satisfied grin plastered to her face. When Diana finally filled him in on her conversation with Gilbert, one that she assured him could not be called meddling because Gilbert was the one who broached the topic, Fred was far less annoyed with his wife than he pretended to be. For all his posturing, Fred was overjoyed that his friend was about to be given everything he had ever dreamed of. If Gilbert and Anne were half as happy as the Wrights, Fred reasoned Gilbert would be a man content in all things.
