It wasn't just a dream. I felt it, or I heard it rather. There was an almost imperceptible shift in the still night air of the palace. It hurled me from my blissful dream involving chocolate smeared on top of chocolate abs which totally did not belong to a certain King of Wakanda. I sat up perfectly straight for ten straight minutes before I could quiet my breathing enough to hear again. Only the nocturnal animals outside my window chattered away. Everyone else was asleep. Well, one person always was. I put on my satin robe more for dramatic effect than decency. My pjs of pink panties and a plain black tank top were more than sufficient enough for all I cared, I just liked the majestic material flowing behind me as I padded down the endless flights of stairs.
The lab scanner recognized my face as a subject and allowed me entrance easily. The motion activated lights flickered to life and I squinted to get my bearings. I slid into Sally's desk, giving her chair a good spin at least twice before I swiped the key card from her top drawer where I'd seen her stash it at the end of our nonproductive session. She'd presented me with animals ranging from live monkies to harmless worms. None of which I'd been able to identify with my eyes shut. I don't think my ability worked like that. I wasn't connected to life. I'd died and come back. I think I was more in tune with the shadows lingering in this world and Barnes was nothing if not a ghost—stuck somewhere between this world and the next.
I was glad for my fluffy slippers against the chill in the secure hallway Sally's badge gave me access to. I shifted on my bare legs to keep blood flowing to them. Whatever had woken me had originated in this room. I grabbed the wooden chair, scraping it over the ground and plopping on the hard surface once it was directly in front of the Sargent. The container had an eerie effect post sunset, but I suppose the night was always creepy when hauntings took place.
"Are you dreaming?" I asked. "Can you dream? That's probably how you entertain yourself. Do you dream of warm beaches and sunburns? That's what I would imagine if I were stuck in there indefinitely."
No response. I don't know I'd hoped for one. I crossed my legs and rested my hands on a knee each with the palms up. I called the air to be still, freezing it in position much like it was inside the cryo chamber. I just wanted to feel what he was feeling. I wanted to know why I was drawn down here. A distant memory of his slipped through the void, settling against my lungs to relive it. A hearty laugh, taking up the entire body. Glee swelling his chest with happiness.
My control slipped and the feeling went with it. Was he trying to communicate? Was it just an unconscious thing? I strode forward, crouching to read the baffling language encoding the control mechanism.
I knew I couldn't let him out, but I also couldn't bring myself to leave him. With Sam gone—after a begrudgingly heartfelt goodbye—I suppose I had no other friends here to keep me company. I dashed back into the lab, grabbing one of the safety blankets from the emergency wall panel and sat back in my chair. Bundled under my robe and the additional blanket and with the strangely comforting presence of a frozen man across from me, I managed to fall back into unconsciousness .
When I woke there was a permanent crick in my neck and an annoying watch on my wrist informing me I was late for my first session with T'challa. I waved farewell to my companion drearily and trudged back up the stairs. All black was laid out on my bed for me today. Hopefully that meant my lesson with T'challa would be a complete 180 from yesterday.
Up on the roof, Hasina was in a perfect handstand while T'challa lay perfectly still on his back. Well, I knew which position I preferred, frankly i'd do any position with the King, but that was beside the point. Hasina lowered herself on silent feet, peering through slanted eyes up at me.
"Your turn," she instructed.
I actually laughed. I would more likely break my neck than accomplish a real handstand. Hasina shook her head slightly and pointed to the spot she'd just occupied. "Stand," she said.
I groaned and looked to T'challa for help. "Do you want to learn or not?" he asked.
"Ok, I'll stand. But what am I supposed to be doing exactly? Meditating? Thinking about my childhood, which was actually pretty fabulous by the way. I just…everything's always fallen into place for me. I've never felt the need for control."
T'challa sat up then, folding his hands into his lap. "What is air?" he asked.
The overabundance of vague happenings on this roof were dizzying. I swayed on my feet slightly as the early morning wind picked up. The sky was a lovely dark blue. On the horizon, teal colored the edges as the sun steadily rose.
"Um, you breathe it. It's—I don't know. It's everywhere."
"I don't want you to control the air, Haven. I want you to control yourself. Air is a free spirit. It goes where it wills. A human cannot move the air any more than I can bend vibranium. When I put on that suit, it's a part of me. We move as one. I want you to imagine the air around you as your own sort of suit. I want you to wrap yourself in it. Become part of it, because if you are the air, then it will move with you."
"That's why I'm standing on a roof? To become one with the air?"
T'challa dipped his head in a nod.
"Why couldn't Hasina just tell me that?" I grumbled.
Though we didn't speak after that, T'challa's presence was good for my focus. He was such a steady and assured person it leaked into me. By the time the sun was fully in the sky, I was ready to be an air warrior. goddess or whatever T'challa called breakfast break and I happily skipped after him down the stairs. The meal was pleasant, and the bacon provided further fueled my addiction. Of course, he had Kingly business to attend to, so I was once again left alone.
I wandered around the palace for a bit before finding myself in the garden outside. A stone arch rose up, wrapped in ivy and scarlet flowers. The dirt path was hard and flat from the multitude of travelers. To the right were tables and chair made of wrought iron painted white. Many people milled about them, some in rags, some dressed in finer clothes than T'challa. There were no walls, so it must be open to the public.
I went left, towards the older trees that rose up and hung over the path. The walkway was lined with monkey grass that scratched at my ankles. The thick atmosphere kept wrapping itself around my throat making it hard to breathe; I was used to heat, but this air hung heavy with moisture. Rounding a path that led me closer to the jungle, I caught sight of a pair of gold sneakers—exactly the pair Menzel wears. Gold for excellence, sneakers for practicality. They disappeared around the bend further ahead.
Stumbling on my once sure footing, I began to sprint after her. The bend led to the end of the garden and out into the densely overgrown jungle. Menzel wasn't running. She stood at the base of a tree, stroking the trunk with her pale white hands. "You're supposed to be dead," she murmured without turning around.
"You made sure that wasn't a possibility!" I spat back.
She turned with the fierce wind skirting around her. It didn't ruffle the loose pinstripes pants or the golden scarf wrapped around her throat. She was dressed exactly as I had seen her in Siberia. Hazel eyes that bordered on matching her shoes in the morning light assessed me; a scientist with her experiment.
"How are you here?" I demanded. Surely Captain America's team couldn't have lose her completely. They were more competent than that.
"I'm not," she said, tilting her head to the side. "I'm in your mind."
"You can read my mind?" My hands flew up protectively around my head as if that could prevent her from getting inside it.
"I'm not the monster here, Haven. I'm only here because you imagined me. If you didn't want me then I would happily go. I do not cherish our time together."
"That's called guilt," I clipped. I didn't want to see her. She had to be screwing with me. There was no way I was crazy enough to start imagining people and having full-fledged conversations with them.
"Yes, guilt for what I did not succeed in." Menzel took a step closer, her petite frame a smudge against the towering trees around us.
"You mean killing me? Look, I'll stay out of your way. You can have the Genysis. I won't tell anyone you gave it to me. You can be the first immortal. Just leave me be."
She laughed softly. "The serum I gave you is too unpredictable for more human testing much less on myself. I had hoped its effect was weak enough that I could put you down without incident. I expected some changes in your basic DNA sequence naturally, but what I found wasn't…you're not human anymore, Haven. I am so sorry."
"Maybe you shouldn't have made me a Guinea Pig."
"Maybe you shouldn't have taken it without asking!" she snapped right back.
My stomach hit the dirt. She was lying. She had to be. There was no way I would do something so stupid, and I did an astonishing amount of stupid things. I shook my head quickly, feeling the wind pick up. Shit, was that me? A branch flew wildly between us, torn from the top of a great tree. Menzel's eyes followed, wary and full of regret.
"You're a side effect, Haven. The first time I knew was the night you destroyed the barn. It was almost impossible to get close to you and by the time I did, all of my research was destroyed. Yes, I tried to kill you. I had to in order to stop the madness."
"My powers started after you smothered me!" I shouted because it had to be true. It had to. This was all her fault. Not mine. Not mine.
"Did they?" she smiled not unkindly, with pity even gracing her features. "Look around, Haven. This is what you do. I have to undo what I created."
The pressure bottomed out and the sound of a roaring train smacked me from behind. I hit the ground, tearing open my palms. When I looked up, Menzel was gone and a tornado had taken her place. My own scream mixed with those emanating from the garden as it meandered almost lazily towards the palace. My pulse was an anvil slamming into my ears, drowning out even the sounds of the horrific storm threatening to cleave this country clear in half. My heart was a hallow opening in my chest, unable to pinpoint any single emotion-so i felt them all at once.. I watched in horror as another tornado touched down to my right. It quickly fell in line with its brother.
I squeezed my eyes shut, entire body shaking, but it wasn't from the storm. You're not afraid, Haven. You are not what she said you are. My silent pep talk was almost lost in the deafening rumbles of the storm I'd created. My throat was tight like I might start crying instead of doing anything productive. I shoved that feeling aside, forcing the muscles to relax. I needed as much air as I could get. I filled myself with it; I wrapped my body in it. I imagined T'challa beside me coaching me through the process. Maybe I wasn't human anymore, maybe I was air. And right now, I would make that work in my favor.
I grinned as one of the storms vanished, but felt my heart deadpan when it reappeared heading towards the village this time. Just shit.
Feet hit the ground beside me silent as death coming to stake its claim. I glanced up to see the Black Panther in full costume. He knelt in front of me and pulled off his mask. T'challa wore an expression as mysterious as his jungle. Most of it I couldn't read, but there was one emotion that I knew everyone must be experiencing right now due to me—fear. I felt it too. It felt like that goddamned pillow slamming down on my face over and over again, strangling what control I had out of me.
"Stop this," T'challa spoke calmly, though his hands were fisted at his sides.
"Go ahead, Haven," Menzel was back. This time she was in the lab coat she sometimes slept in on the farm. T'challa did not budge at the voice; he couldn't hear it. "Tell him what you are," she said.
Tears slid down my cheeks now as I sat watching the destruction helplessly.
"I'm sorry," T'challa spoke before slamming his fist into the side of my face. Blackness took over instantly.
Thanks for hanging with me, you guys! Our favorite metal-armed will be featured in the next chapter. I know you are all very excited for that.